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What is the most funniest thing said during the time you were fucking? Options · View
Sirene_Jaune
Posted: Tuesday, June 04, 2013 3:15:40 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 5/6/2011
Posts: 771
Location: In my mind, Australia
Thought I start a fun topic.

A few nights ago I was blowing my fuck buddy and I looked up at his face just to see his expression and he says:

"You have evil eyes."

LMAO

I have never heard anyone say I have evil eyes before.



Axl - Take a look at our piercing menu.

Daria - I don't think that's how you spell "uvula."

Axl - That's not "uvula."

From: "Daria" episode "Pierce Me"
Metilda
Posted: Tuesday, June 04, 2013 8:34:53 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/10/2013
Posts: 982
Location: United States
Funny? Can't think of much. My sense of humor evaporates - things are either an extreme turn on or entirely a turn off.

But fucked up and beyond strange? Yeah - lots of that. LOL .... looooots of that. I seem to draw that out of people.



Available as an ebook through All Romance, Amazon, Barnes and Noble, iBooks, and others.
AbigailThornton
Posted: Tuesday, June 04, 2013 10:58:12 AM

Rank: Story Verifier

Joined: 7/8/2012
Posts: 719
Location: The naughty little world inside my head, United Ki
My BF makes me laugh all the time... the last thing that really cracked me up was an Austin Powers reference (Goldmember) "Let me get out of deees toight pants. Would you like to smoke my pancake?"



Guest
Posted: Tuesday, June 04, 2013 11:08:28 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,332
"Whoooo hooooo! You've got a text message." From my (then) girlfriend's phone while we were at a motel. I thought someone was cheering us on and I jumped up and shot across the room to see who was watching us.

3some
c50t
Posted: Tuesday, June 04, 2013 12:17:20 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/9/2011
Posts: 274
It wasn't actually what was said. In fact, I'm pretty sure it would be spelled, "Yaaaaaaaaeeeeeeiiiiiaaaaaa!"
From my point of view, it took a moment for it to even be funny. I think for a full three seconds I was completely baffled. No only was a limited amount of blood going to my brain, but I was completely immersed in the pleasure of outdoor coitus with a very nubile creature. We had a concealed spot on a college campus very close to the school track area. She was on top of me, I think enjoying herself as much as I was. And then, suddenly I hear an ear splitting, "Yaaaaaaaaeeeeeeiiiiiaaaaaa!" And the girl is completely gone. In a split second she had moved from sitting astride me to some position over my head entirely out of my sight. You're probably thinking what I was. Aliens? Ninjas? Is my penis still where it's supposed to be?
I looked down to find a very friendly stray dog between my legs almost the same position where I had last seen the disappearing damsel. He had pricked up ears, a wagging tail, and a nose that I'm told was approximately three degrees fahrenheit.
Now I'm normally a canine friendly kind of guy, but in this case he was not "man's best friend."
Milik_Redman
Posted: Tuesday, June 04, 2013 1:08:24 PM

Rank: Internet Philosopher

Joined: 8/14/2009
Posts: 4,381
Location: somewhere deep under the Earth, United States
I was having sex with a lady friend and right while we were at it the phones rings. I told her not to answer but like always, she didn't listen so I just kept going kind of slow while she spoke to her mother. Obviously, this gave her ample reason to end the call, but before she did, her mom asked if I would be joining them for dinner that weekend. When I said I'm coming, I meant more than just the dinner.

β€œIt is a great thing to know your vices.”
― Marcus Tullius Cicero


My Editors Choice Award Winning Stories.








rebeccakeyes
Posted: Tuesday, June 04, 2013 3:41:32 PM

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Joined: 7/16/2012
Posts: 142
Location: United States
"The cat's on my back!"
Guest
Posted: Thursday, June 06, 2013 11:02:55 AM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,332
the funniest thing she ever said was...........when I first went to get my face into her cunt and eat her.........she said......that's going to make you sick......I had to keep myself from bursting out laughing.......
Locksley
Posted: Thursday, June 06, 2013 12:14:34 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 4/11/2011
Posts: 85
We hadn't started the fucking yet, and I was between her legs licking her pussy- her heel come down on my head and since my mouth was open it made an odd audible "CLUNK".

It took her 5 minutes to stop giggling.

<a href="http://www.lushstories.com/stories/straight-sex/in-the-dark.aspx"><img src="http://upload.lushstories.com/578-in the dark3.jpg" /></a>
VinDavies
Posted: Thursday, June 06, 2013 1:21:35 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 3/17/2013
Posts: 45
Location: United States
We were fucking in the bedroom while dinner was cooking. The timer goes off and she says, "Fuck it, we can order pizza."
Delphi
Posted: Thursday, June 06, 2013 2:05:25 PM

Rank: Story Verifier

Joined: 6/30/2012
Posts: 1,366
Location: United States

"God damn, it's like you've got a magic pussy!"

Why, yes sir. Yes I do. I call it the MP. Regaeman Man



The Delphi/Dirty_D collaboration - a winner of the Series Award!
BlackTalon
Posted: Friday, June 07, 2013 4:23:29 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 4/19/2013
Posts: 55
Location: United States
c50t wrote:
It wasn't actually what was said. In fact, I'm pretty sure it would be spelled, "Yaaaaaaaaeeeeeeiiiiiaaaaaa!"

...a nose that I'm told was approximately three degrees fahrenheit.
Now I'm normally a canine friendly kind of guy, but in this case he was not "man's best friend."


OMG ... I think you win this competition ROFL

after reading that I completely forgot what I was even thinking of replying

Knowledge is nothing if not shared, with your slave, your community, and those wishing to enter into it. So I will continue to look for topics to give My opinion about, yes opinion.

*** Disclaimer ***
My way of thinking doesn't fit everyone, nor does anyone elses, it is not My intention to tell anyone else here how they must see or do things, as there are as many views of what "the life" means to people as there are people in it.
cougarcub58
Posted: Friday, June 07, 2013 5:10:16 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 8/10/2012
Posts: 45
rebeccakeyes wrote:
"The cat's on my back!"
..and my pussy,s at the front...talk about a 3some3some
1lush
Posted: Friday, June 07, 2013 5:37:20 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/16/2012
Posts: 625
Location: Eastern, United States
We were going at it and my orgasm was getting way to close and I was thinking of many things to stop it and all I could come up with was saying wicker furniture in my head when it came out of my mouth four times while I came. She jut sat on me laughing
Sirene_Jaune
Posted: Sunday, June 09, 2013 6:08:38 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 5/6/2011
Posts: 771
Location: In my mind, Australia
So Fuck Buddy was doing anal to me, he was just on the last few strokes to the big finish when behind the door a little voice pipes up:

"Daddy can you make me toast and a drink."

The mood changed for hot and sexy to OMG hahaha what great timing Billy. When Fuck Buddy is about to get me something to eat or a drink I now mock Billy's voice and go "Daddy can you please get me toast and a drink."

He just laughs and rolls his eyes.

Axl - Take a look at our piercing menu.

Daria - I don't think that's how you spell "uvula."

Axl - That's not "uvula."

From: "Daria" episode "Pierce Me"
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, June 25, 2013 10:09:52 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,332
My first wife had natural firm 38Ds. She was starting to get into the feminist crap her older sister was into. We had many talks about it, and I agreed with a lot of it. One night she's on top, and we're going at it, and she looks down at me over these 38s and I'm fondling them with my hands and eyes, and she says, "There's more to me then my boobs! My eyes are up here." I kept going and said, "Yeah, but right now your boobs are all I can see!" She laughed at how crazy it all sounded and we never had another problem with me and her boobs.

With a former fiancé I was doing her doggy style, hot and heavy, and the phone rang. I just let it go, and she said either answer it or take it off the hook. So I took it off the hook, but didn't push the off button. Later as we laid there exhausted I heard, "Hello, hello" coming form the phone. I lifted the receiver and said, "Uh, hello." It was my mom. Her response was, "Does this mean I might be a grandmother?"
Rubik
Posted: Monday, July 08, 2013 8:07:44 AM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 3/23/2013
Posts: 8
I fucked a guy who I met in a club one time and every time he pushed into me he kept shouting "thanks be to jesus for this opportunity!" I laughed so much and he kept asking why. I don't think he realised and still doesn't know to this day. I fucked him again a few months later and it was the exact same but I kept myself from laughing this time, which was very difficult.
HotBttmInBriefs
Posted: Monday, July 08, 2013 10:24:59 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/6/2013
Posts: 1,520
Location: United States
"We've fallen and we can't get up!!!!"

To explain. Early last year I moved in with a buddy of mine to cut costs and save us both some money. He knew that I was bisexual and at first said he didn't know if he was comfortable with me having guys over in my room or not. But after a few days said go for it...he just hoped he couldn't hear us.

Well the first night that I had a guy over...it was a mutual friend of ours. We were really going at it when the bed broke. I mean it really broke and threw both of us naked into the floor between the bed and the wall. No matter how we tried we couldn't get up. We had to yell for him to come help us. When he walked in the room and saw us -- me on top -- my fuck buddy yelled...."We've falled and we can't get up."

MadMartigan
Posted: Monday, July 08, 2013 3:57:12 PM

Rank: Story Verifier

Joined: 6/17/2013
Posts: 2,095
Location: United States
Nothing too funny in actuality, but it had the girl giggling in fits.

It was a one-night stand, virtual stranger.

As she was riding cowgirl, I leaned up and whispered in my best fake NYC Cop voice "so, where you from."

dontknow

Not really funny, but hey. She laughed and that means she's really tightened up.
HotBttmInBriefs
Posted: Tuesday, July 09, 2013 3:04:43 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/6/2013
Posts: 1,520
Location: United States
That reminds me of the night of my 2 year anniversary when I was married. My wife and I had gone out to eat and something I ate didn't agree with my stomach. I bloated up and had so much gas as if I had eaten beans but I didn't.

I did fairly well. I was so horny. I had thought about just begging for a pass that night but my dick was doing my thinking. We had been going at it for awhile and I was holding it in, but at one point she wrapped her legs around me and squeezed and that did it. I let out the loudest explosion of gas ever.

It got quiet and then she just burst out laughing. The harder she laughed the more she tightened. I thought at one point she was going to squeeze my dick off. We both ended up coming just from her laughing. It was weird.

Jack_42
Posted: Tuesday, July 09, 2013 4:40:53 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/21/2009
Posts: 986
Location: Prague, Czech Republic
We had just finished and were lying still entwined when I had one last spasm and my partner said ''Parting shot?''
Sirene_Jaune
Posted: Wednesday, July 10, 2013 1:16:14 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 5/6/2011
Posts: 771
Location: In my mind, Australia
These really had me in stitiches. You guys are so funny. x

Axl - Take a look at our piercing menu.

Daria - I don't think that's how you spell "uvula."

Axl - That's not "uvula."

From: "Daria" episode "Pierce Me"
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