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Guest
Posted: Tuesday, July 09, 2013 5:45:31 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,411

Rumors, lies, innuendo's, baseless bullshit, head cases, drama queens, perverts, creepers, stalkers, backstabbers, sharing of personal info, personal pix, let's meet in real life...hey, asshole...this isn't 'Matchmaker's or E Harmony'.....certainly not 'Christian Mingle", either.

Paraphrasing, "Lush is a free sex stories adult community site where you can publish, read and comment on erotic stories."

Got it?

You want a 'real' relationship? Close your laptop. Get up, get dressed, and go out into the 'real' world, cause this ain't it....

If you want some online fun, hangout and let your alter ego loose. Explore. Be anonymous. Just don't get fucking crazy.

Take it from someone that learned the fucking hard way.

Thank you.
Liz
Posted: Wednesday, July 10, 2013 1:26:13 PM

Rank: Scarlet Seductress

Joined: 1/22/2013
Posts: 4,682
Location: In the sweet shop, United Kingdom
So there I am, sat on the couch, minding my own business when my mum decided to invite a couple of Jehovah's Witnesses in for a cup of tea (she's nice like that).

Fast forward 45 minutes...

JW: "So, Liz, your mother tells us you will be starting university soon. You know, you could come along to a meeting at the Kingdom Hall. We can be an excellent source of inspiration and support for young people in your position."

Me: "Sorry, you've lost me. What has starting university got to do with religion?"

JW: "It's a period of change. Moving out of home, living on your own for the first time."

Me: "Actually, I'll probably be moving in with my girlfriend."

JW: "...oh. Tell me, have you ever considered taking the righteous path?"

Me: "Excuse me? What is that supposed to mean?"

Mum: "Lizzy."

Me: "No, no. I want to hear this."

JW: "You have to understand that homosexuality is just a phase, Liz. The Bible’s stance is not unreasonable. You just need to 'flee from fornication'."

Me: "Are you serious!? You're going to sit on our sofa, drinking our tea and eating our biscuits, then start preaching to me about MY sexuality? I'll have you know that what I do and with whom I do it is no ones business but mine."

Mum: "Liz."

Me: "No. I'm sorry but they've outstayed their welcome. Chaps, thanks for popping in, you know where the door is, use it."

Mum: "..."

The fucking nerve... angry7


Coco
Posted: Wednesday, July 10, 2013 1:47:13 PM

Rank: Story Lover

Joined: 7/22/2011
Posts: 4,443
Location: Fantasy City, United States
Dear lady with the baby on the plane: Look I know that you can't control when your kid poops or cries but for fuck's sake be prepared when he does. The child cried and yelled for nearly an hour before you took action--on a fucking plane! The stewardess even offered to help and your dumb ass couldn’t be bothered to accept assistance, and now I've got the fucking headache from hell with a business meeting to handle.

And on another note, fuck you Candy Crush...

mr_canuck
Posted: Wednesday, July 10, 2013 5:29:00 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 11/18/2012
Posts: 72
Location: Canada
You're pretty good....you had me fooled for a long time....but now I know what type of person you really are. You think I bought the bullshit that came out of your mouth last weekend....I didn't! GO FUCK YOURSELF you manipulative user BITCH!
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, July 10, 2013 6:52:58 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,411
Gee, I...I guess I'll have to borrow a cup of rage from some neighbor or something. I have nothing to contribute. Life is good.
sprite
Posted: Wednesday, July 10, 2013 6:58:05 PM

Rank: Her Royal Spriteness

Joined: 6/18/2010
Posts: 14,623
Location: My Tower, United States
yourmisterdark wrote:
Gee, I...I guess I'll have to borrow a cup of rage from some neighbor or something. I have nothing to contribute. Life is good.


*blows whistle* Infraction! Gloating! you're outta here, buddy *kicks down stairs for the goons to deal with*

http://www.lushstories.com/stories/hardcore/west-coast-games-part-one-the-beach.aspx
ArtMan
Posted: Wednesday, July 10, 2013 8:01:04 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/29/2011
Posts: 640
Location: South Florida, United States
To a client I don't need or want anymore: You are a procrastinating asshole and you always go past the due date before you pay. You called at 5:00 pm and asked for a mock-up by 9:00 am the next day. No you cannot have that. I have other clients that pay on time, that were ahead of you. If you want to pay quadruple my normal rate and pay up front, then I might be willing to work all night to make your 9:00 am deadline. Kiss my ass, and guess what? No one else is going to make that deadline either. Plan ahead sometime, you disorganized incompetent fuck.

You are invited to read Passionate Danger, Part II, a story collaboration by Kim and ArtMan.
http://www.lushstories.com/stories/straight-sex/passionate-danger-part-ii.aspx

MasterJonathan
Posted: Thursday, July 11, 2013 1:15:36 AM

Rank: Gentleman Master

Joined: 3/6/2013
Posts: 1,235
Location: God's Deep Freezer, United States
Ok boys and girls, I am taking off the suit for a minute - this "gentleman" is PISSED!!!

I had planned a surprise party thread for My wife similar to what others have done here and in order to get the word out about it in the most expeditious manner, I went into her friends list and bulk mailed her friends inviting them to come see the thread and to add their own wishes. Her and I have not been on Lush for all that long and this was the first time her birthday has come up so I wanted to do something special.

WELL, thanks to a certain FUCK who because of the rules of this thread shall remain nameless (but you know who you are, you no-account SOB), that whole idea is ruined and MY sweet, caring do-anything-for-her-friends wife will not have the surprise that she deserved.

Now I ask you folks, what kind of an ASSHOLE opens their mouth and intentionally ruins a surprise for no other reason that just to fuck up a special day for someone who did nothing to him and just enjoys her friends?

Some of you know My wife Sugarbaby and those of you who do know what I mean. She would give you the shirt off her back. And yet when I tried to do something nice like get her friends together for a surprise birthday thread this FUCK spoiled it.

Well as for you, you piece of shit - you think Master Jonathan is "interesting" NOW? cussing

Guest
Posted: Thursday, July 11, 2013 8:46:19 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,411
I'll never understand why some people need to cook up elaborate lies when there was nothing wrong with the truth to begin with.
Guest
Posted: Friday, July 12, 2013 12:49:44 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,411
I think it is a shame that this happened. Sugar deserved the wonderful surprise that you planned for her. She is one of the Kindest, caring people on her as well as You MJ. I am very sorry your surprise was ruined and I hope she has a great Birthday/
VanGogh
Posted: Saturday, July 13, 2013 6:40:35 AM

Rank: Sarcastic Coffee Aficionado

Joined: 2/10/2012
Posts: 3,047
Location: Vancouver, Canada
As much as I love my PhatCat .... I seriously need SLEEP .... and this 4 am waking me up to be fed is getting fucking old. I did that with my babies .... why am I doing it with a pet?? Jeezus ....

Of course you purr and love me, but I just fucking need some sleep .... please!!

(I tried to go back to sleep, but then, PhatCat decides to throw up .... not once, but twice!! (thank god for hardwood floors - cuz if it was carpet, I'd be even more fucking mad) Now, here I am, cuz I am FULLY awake ... for fuck sake!!)

ok ... now he's lounging on my bed by my feet ... fuck, he's cute .... he'll be asleep in an instant now .... lucky bastardo.


angry7


A Milf series combined with Office Sex *fans face* .... The Secretary and The Student
starting with The Secretary and The Student - first part

Enjoy!!

For the Anal Lovers .... come enjoy my RR honoured An Alluring Ass

Another Sex in the Office Poem (I know you love those!!) In Your Office

BabydollSlave
Posted: Saturday, July 13, 2013 9:38:50 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/15/2012
Posts: 483
Location: Been All Around The World , Japan
ok srly can you not read a profile...srly. i am kind i am never rude i just say hi and honestly get to know you. but instead if i dont flirt or play you go and read one of my stories and then give it a lower score...reallllllly? i work hard trying to write good english and grammar...obviously not my first language. and through the loving and patient help of the mods my stories and poems get put up.....i got perfects finally. NOW not anymore...sigh :( I will not give up....you cant crush me! Thanks for the venting....on to writingbook

my newest :)
justforfun9
Posted: Saturday, July 13, 2013 12:08:16 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/9/2012
Posts: 133
Location: United States
AveryS wrote:
15 fucking items or less!!!!!! No more!!!! Just because you have thirty fucking packs of the same thing doesn't mean you can fucking count it as one!!!!!!!! 15 fucking items total!!!! Not types of items!!!!! DAMNIT PEOPLE!!!!



This I like and see daily and also don't ask if you can separate your 30 items into two transactions
justforfun9
Posted: Saturday, July 13, 2013 12:18:33 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/9/2012
Posts: 133
Location: United States
Pay me my fucking money!! If you ask me
can you borrow some money to pay a bill and you'll will pay me back with a set date, pay me don't go and buy 100 dollars shoes because you like them and then ask if I like them. I like to have my money which oh by the way you don't have but you have new shoes and I have to ask you for my money! What the hell and you get mad when i ask. I was helping a friend i thought with money I had plans for and your ass don't want to pay. ill bet you will be looking for those shoes when i returned them to the store for refund and I have my money!

Dani
Posted: Saturday, July 13, 2013 8:43:53 PM

Rank: Big-Haired Bitch

Joined: 12/25/2010
Posts: 4,710
Location: Under Your Bed, United States
America, the land of the free.**

**Certain restrictions apply.



Baby put your arms around me, tell me I'm a problem...

Guest
Posted: Saturday, July 13, 2013 10:08:56 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,411
A teenager was murdered by a guy who was told to stay in his car and got out of the car and pursued him anyways. This teenager was murdered by a man who was recorded saying "Fucking punks! They get away with this shit all the time." A teenager was murdered and the last person he was talking to, a young woman, testified that he called her saying that "someone is following me and I don't know why."

A teenager was murdered and the man who admitted pulling the trigger is...acquitted.

A teenager was murdered damn it!

Dani
Posted: Saturday, July 13, 2013 10:10:26 PM

Rank: Big-Haired Bitch

Joined: 12/25/2010
Posts: 4,710
Location: Under Your Bed, United States
Kristind wrote:
A teenager was murdered by a guy who was told to stay in his and got out of the car and pursued him anyways. This teenager was murdered by a man who was recorded saying "Fucking punks! The get away with this shit all the time." A teenager was murdered and the last person he was talking to, a young woman, testified that he called her saying that "someone is following me and I don't know why."

A teenager was murdered and the man who admitted pulling the trigger is...acquitted.

A teenager was murdered damn it!



A system can't fail those of whom it was never built to protect. Remember that. I had to swallow that pill a couple of hours ago.



Baby put your arms around me, tell me I'm a problem...

sprite
Posted: Saturday, July 13, 2013 10:19:05 PM

Rank: Her Royal Spriteness

Joined: 6/18/2010
Posts: 14,623
Location: My Tower, United States
Kristind wrote:
A teenager was murdered by a guy who was told to stay in his and got out of the car and pursued him anyways. This teenager was murdered by a man who was recorded saying "Fucking punks! The get away with this shit all the time." A teenager was murdered and the last person he was talking to, a young woman, testified that he called her saying that "someone is following me and I don't know why."

A teenager was murdered and the man who admitted pulling the trigger is...acquitted.

A teenager was murdered damn it!



thank you for beating me to the punch. i'm not even sure how i feel about this. my wife is rightously indignant and incredulous, while i'm just... sad. ironically this weekend is the opening of Fruitvale as well, the Oscar Grant story... at least Mehserle served 2 whole years *rolls eyes* for murdering a kid. i don't know, i don't really have any where to direct my anger, i just know that i AM angry. where is the justice in this? justice isn't just for some of the people. it's for ALL of the people. i need a shower. this is just fucked up. i don't have words right now.

http://www.lushstories.com/stories/hardcore/west-coast-games-part-one-the-beach.aspx
Guest
Posted: Saturday, July 13, 2013 10:19:52 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,411
slipperywhenwet2012 wrote:


A system can't fail those of whom it was never built to protect. Remember that. I had to swallow that pill a couple of hours ago.


crybaby crybaby crybaby crybaby crybaby dontknow dontknow dontknow crybaby crybaby crybaby crybaby crybaby
Dani
Posted: Saturday, July 13, 2013 10:54:48 PM

Rank: Big-Haired Bitch

Joined: 12/25/2010
Posts: 4,710
Location: Under Your Bed, United States
And the fucker gets his gun back. God I love this country.



Baby put your arms around me, tell me I'm a problem...

MadMartigan
Posted: Sunday, July 14, 2013 11:11:00 AM

Rank: Story Verifier

Joined: 6/17/2013
Posts: 2,119
Location: United States
I fucking hate lawyers. Fucking hate them!

Zimmerman wouldn't have gotten arrested and tried if he wasn't black!?

WHAT. THE. FUCK!?!!?!

Motherfucking race baiting! God I fucking love this country's judicial system!

And I'm sure if Zimmerman were black and Martin white, that fucker would get the needle! angry7

Fucking country and its fucking narrow-minded soulless fucking lawyers and the fuckers following Faux News who believe all this shit and that Zimmerman had all the right in the world to gun a man down.

And lemme also add.

FUCK SINGLE GENDER JURIES! What the fuck is up with that? Single, white female jury. They played them like a fiddle.
Saga
Posted: Sunday, July 14, 2013 7:52:58 PM

Rank: Sergeant Turnip

Joined: 6/7/2012
Posts: 5,001
Location: Canada
Magical_felix
Posted: Sunday, July 14, 2013 10:35:57 PM

Rank: Wild at Heart

Joined: 4/3/2010
Posts: 4,908
Location: California
I went to go watch Pacific Rim in the movie theater today because I thought it was going to be about licking girl's butts in Hawaii... Wrong, wrong... It was about fuckin godzillas, giant robocops and crappy acting n shit. What a let down.




freakycactus
Posted: Tuesday, July 16, 2013 6:45:56 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 5/12/2010
Posts: 409
Location: On my cloud, United Kingdom
I am done being made to feel like I'm not good enough, like I have to change to fit into someone else's idealised version of me that I have no fucking interest in being.

I'm done with letting people make me feel like I'm not good enough and I'm going to listen to my instincts and go with what they're telling me to do.

I'm done with being treated like shit and being ignored and bullied into agreeing to things I'm not happy with, and I'm really fucking done with letting people ignore me when I say no.

NO MEANS NO.

And most of all, I'm done with you, I'm done with feeling scared and being stuck in a house with you blocking the door just having to say, 'one last thing'. I'm done with letting you bully me and sway me and manipulate me. I will never be alone with you again. Not because I think you might hurt me physically but because of how much you've hurt me emotionally, because you try and bully me and lay your shit on me every single time we speak, you have ever since we first fucking met.

And I am so fucking done with men for a while. This time I mean it when I say I'm going to take some time out to deal with my life and get things on track. I'm going to look after me for a while.

Sirene_Jaune
Posted: Tuesday, July 16, 2013 7:06:14 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 5/6/2011
Posts: 771
Location: In my mind, Australia
To my wonderful father who thinks it is perfectly fine to call at 5:30 in the morning. For fuck sake I get it you are driving, bored and lonely. However think of others before dialing my number just to "talk", can't you ring up at a decent time say 7:30 while I am getting ready for work.

Oh no, you have to wake everyone up.

Axl - Take a look at our piercing menu.

Daria - I don't think that's how you spell "uvula."

Axl - That's not "uvula."

From: "Daria" episode "Pierce Me"
ajm45
Posted: Tuesday, July 16, 2013 9:51:12 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/25/2012
Posts: 503
Location: Middle of Nowhere, United States
Calling me from a blocked number? How precious. Please stop. It's really getting annoying and I'm tired of seeing it pop up on my phone. Have the decency to at least call me without hiding behind a blocked ID.

[And when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.]
Sirene_Jaune
Posted: Wednesday, July 17, 2013 2:45:49 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 5/6/2011
Posts: 771
Location: In my mind, Australia
Again you burn my upper lip with your waxing technique. I told you before I am not fond of the calico being used. You tried to justify it by saying there were little tiny hairs that were there and hard to get. Knowing full well that I had to return to work looking nice, you still used the fucking calico.

You did it twice using a "different wax".

Oh and don't pretend you didn't know I was in pain after the deed was done. You rubbed alcohol on my face and then slathered it in aloe vera.

This isn't the first time you did this, you have done this five other times before hand. Knowing full well I had to go to places of importance to me. This includes my nephew's christening, going for clubbing at an exclusive night club etc.

You questioned why I didn't come back to you for seven months. Well it was because I went to the city and had an Asian lady do it. The Asian chick might have been expensive but she did a quick job, getting rid of the hair and not leaving any burns.

Since I live in town you are the only one I can go to without travelling. Next time I am going to stand firm on no calico or different wax. I am tired of paying $25 because I have stubborn hair and require "more" wax and taking home burn marks.



Axl - Take a look at our piercing menu.

Daria - I don't think that's how you spell "uvula."

Axl - That's not "uvula."

From: "Daria" episode "Pierce Me"
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, July 17, 2013 10:20:24 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,411
What the hell is up with you "older guys" who suddenly think you're into BDSM because you think being a DOM means you can just order any woman to fuck/suck you off and they'll drop to their knees? LIFE is not porn fantasies, hell, even porn fantasies are not YOUR porn fantasies. Please, get some g-d clues (and lay off the Little Debbie's pastries laced with Viagra). Grrrr.
Jasmine_x
Posted: Wednesday, July 17, 2013 12:35:05 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 12/10/2012
Posts: 158
Location: Palatka, United States
Just broke up over the stupidest reason. She wants to get back but I can't be bothered arguing anymore so I just offered friendship to try and get a truce. She throws it back in my face and pretty much says I'm been unreasonable for fuck sake. How is it been unreasonable by offering friendship rather than been at each others throats. I'm the one in the wrong each and every fucking time despite the fact it's her who started the bullshit argument, it's her fucking issue and she's too uptight to admit it. I fucking hate people who always play the victim in shit. If I'm in the wrong I at least have the guts to raise my hand and admit it.
AriOli101
Posted: Wednesday, July 17, 2013 1:20:35 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 7/3/2013
Posts: 204
Location: United Kingdom
yourmisterdark wrote:
What the hell is up with you "older guys" who suddenly think you're into BDSM because you think being a DOM means you can just order any woman to fuck/suck you off and they'll drop to their knees? LIFE is not porn fantasies, hell, even porn fantasies are not YOUR porn fantasies. Please, get some g-d clues (and lay off the Little Debbie's pastries laced with Viagra). Grrrr.


Oh my God, hug me. You, sir, have it down. xxx

Make love not horcruxes! >^_^<

Check out my stories, you'd be surprised what I can do :)
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