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Porn Desensitization and Addiction Options · View
TheSexyWriter
Posted: Saturday, August 10, 2013 11:51:11 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 12/23/2009
Posts: 34
Location: Canada
So a few months ago I went through a very stressful period in my life where I was consistently away from my wife, and I developed the habit of masturbating while watching porn to help expel stress. I had watched porn on almost a weekly basis beforehand and never had any problems in bed, but when I was in my wife's company again I found it very difficult to get hard. After avoiding the elephant in the bedroom I decided to stop watching porn entirely, seeing that it was desensitizing me and probably leading me down the road to a small addiction (I was masturbating twice a day, every day). Since giving up the habit, my sex life is back to normal and I find myself more aroused than usual. So, fellow Lushies, what is your experience with porn? What's your opinion on it? Any negative or positive experiences?
MrFrost
Posted: Sunday, August 11, 2013 1:29:36 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 4/29/2013
Posts: 93
Location: Melbourne, Australia
I know where you're coming from lat,eh I haven't found a way to get hard when I'm with a woman as I have been watching porn so I have refrained from watching it a lot and I have fixed the problem
SereneProdigy
Posted: Sunday, August 11, 2013 2:13:25 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 7/16/2013
Posts: 1,652
Location: Lost And Astray
Yes that problem is real for many people. Fortunatly I'm not one of them.

I knew a guy that for whatever reason got addicted to very hardcore-graphic-creepy porn, and admitted he couldn't get turned on anymore by simply watching something 'normal'. Last time I saw him he was still struggling to regain his normal sex life.

Be careful with what you watch, seriously. Things you might find fucked up right now can become very normal to you if you watch them often. That's simple psychology.



pricklypear
Posted: Sunday, August 11, 2013 6:43:15 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/9/2013
Posts: 4,333
Location: somewhere over the rainbow, United States
anything in excess can be bad and i know this.

and oddly enough, i hardly masturbate to porn. (especially pro porn since it has become gimmicky and disgusting) i just like perusing tumblr and helping contribute to the forums.

i actually don't masturbate enough. i do it like 3 times a month...sometimes less. i think i'm broken. :/
BelleduJour
Posted: Sunday, August 11, 2013 7:12:08 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/13/2011
Posts: 1,509
Location: Canada
One of the BIGGEST problems in my marriage and ultimately the cause of our sexual problems was porn. Like all healthy and sexual men, I knew my ex enjoyed watching porn. As a couple, we even watched it together many times during our courtship as well as during the first couple of years of our marriage. It was hot and exciting in the beginning but soon, it got ugly. He wanted it on every time we made love, then it shifted to him sneaking around and watching it on his own late at night, so much that he wouldn't come to bed until the wee hours in the morning almost EVERY night. Pretty soon, porn took over and became his lover, it was the third person in our marriage. He then began to have problems staying hard, then he had difficulties cumming unless he jerked himself off which took forever, and eventually, he couldn't even get hard with me at all! It was BRUTAL!!! Porn had become the enormous pink elephant in our relationship.

After YEARS of dancing around the issue, I confronted him and confronted him I did HUNDREDS of times about our sex life and that porn was a much bigger problem then we both originally thought. I explained to him how it was making me feel, how it was hurting our relationship and although he denied everything in the beginning, eventually he conceded and admitted he couldn't stop but at the same time, didn't want to seek help for it either. As a woman, it was painfully disheartening especially when you can see your marriage falling apart all around you and there was very little I could do to save it. The experience seriously fucked with my self esteem so violently that I spent years and THOUSANDS of dollars on therapy to try and deal with all the shit porn caused in my life and ultimately ended my 20 years relationship and broke up my family - something that still brings tears to my eyes if I think about it too much.

So YES, porn can have insidious effects on one's sex life - I'm the poster child for that disturbing PSA. Having said that, despite my negative experience with porn, I think it can be a great aid in relieving tension and finding a release either alone or with a partner. I also sincerely think it can add a bit of excitement and variety into a couple's sex life provided it's kept it in check. Anything good in life is about finding a healthy balance and porn is no different.

EDWolfe
Posted: Sunday, August 11, 2013 10:08:44 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/5/2013
Posts: 1,033
Location: United States
It's the same as with anything else. In moderation it's okay. When it starts to interfere with your life (and, in this case, sex life is definitely included), then it's a problem.
mentalcase
Posted: Sunday, August 11, 2013 10:49:04 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/29/2011
Posts: 335
pricklypear wrote:


i actually don't masturbate enough. i do it like 3 times a month...sometimes less. i think i'm broken. :/


You are not broken. You are in control. good for you. it's easier to do it lots than to control it
TheSexyWriter
Posted: Monday, August 12, 2013 11:26:35 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 12/23/2009
Posts: 34
Location: Canada
BelleduJour wrote:
One of the BIGGEST problems in my marriage and ultimately the cause of our sexual problems was porn. Like all healthy and sexual men, I knew my ex enjoyed watching porn. As a couple, we even watched it together many times during our courtship as well as during the first couple of years of our marriage. It was hot and exciting in the beginning but soon, it got ugly. He wanted it on every time we made love, then it shifted to him sneaking around and watching it on his own late at night, so much that he wouldn't come to bed until the wee hours in the morning almost EVERY night. Pretty soon, porn took over and became his lover, it was the third person in our marriage. He then began to have problems staying hard, then he had difficulties cumming unless he jerked himself off which took forever, and eventually, he couldn't even get hard with me at all! It was BRUTAL!!! Porn had become the enormous pink elephant in our relationship.

After YEARS of dancing around the issue, I confronted him and confronted him I did HUNDREDS of times about our sex life and that porn was a much bigger problem then we both originally thought. I explained to him how it was making me feel, how it was hurting our relationship and although he denied everything in the beginning, eventually he conceded and admitted he couldn't stop but at the same time, didn't want to seek help for it either. As a woman, it was painfully disheartening especially when you can see your marriage falling apart all around you and there was very little I could do to save it. The experience seriously fucked with my self esteem so violently that I spent years and THOUSANDS of dollars on therapy to try and deal with all the shit porn caused in my life and ultimately ended my 20 years relationship and broke up my family - something that still brings tears to my eyes if I think about it too much.

So YES, porn can have insidious effects on one's sex life - I'm the poster child for that disturbing PSA. Having said that, despite my negative experience with porn, I think it can be a great aid in relieving tension and finding a release either alone or with a partner. I also sincerely think it can add a bit of excitement and variety into a couple's sex life provided it's kept it in check. Anything good in life is about finding a healthy balance and porn is no different.


Oh wow, that is heartbreaking. I am so sorry that all this happened to you. While I never thought about porn having this kind of effect on me it's very scary to think that I could have been on this path. I would never want to do this to my wife, and it makes me very glad that I was able to put my porn down as easily as I did. I hope you are doing okay now. You're absolutely right about finding a healthy balance. Sometimes it's hard, however, and it's easier--and safer--to drop it entirely.

FitBusinessPro
Posted: Tuesday, August 13, 2013 8:56:19 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 7/10/2013
Posts: 114
Location: Birmingham, United States
Put a time limit on it - you can get a lot accomplished in 15 minutes.
angieseroticpen
Posted: Tuesday, August 13, 2013 10:40:35 AM

Rank: Story Verifier

Joined: 8/24/2011
Posts: 769
Location: United Kingdom
There is no question that it can be addictive. Like most things though it depends on how it is handled. Alcohol is a typical example. Most people can have a drink and enjoy themselves with it but for some it becomes an addiction.

I think men are particularly vulnerable to porn addiction because they are very easily aroused by porn and find it more difficult to divorce the reality from the fantasy. The danger is that it can, sadly, pollute love and portray women as objects of sexual gratification. In extreme cases it can drive men to rape and other kinds of illegal sex.

BelleduJour's case is a very sad one but also one that is bigger then we think. What the answer is I do not know. Sex is part of life and pornogrpahy has been around from the outset of human life. Banning it will only drive it underground as well. Perhaps the only solution would be greater education. Porn can be an enjoyable accompliment to a relationship just as wine compliments a nice meal. It just a case of getting things into perspective.


“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”
Icarus32
Posted: Tuesday, August 13, 2013 10:42:06 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/10/2012
Posts: 256
Location: Around, Canada
Man, reading this thread makes me happy I don't watch porn, and reminds me why I quit a number of years ago.

Honestly when I see adds or it on sites like this, it just looks really over the top. I'll stick with stories I think.
Fenwick
Posted: Thursday, August 22, 2013 6:28:52 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 8/15/2013
Posts: 64
Location: Boston, United States
As already mentioned, everything in moderation..

Someone above said "especially pro porn since it has become gimmicky and disgusting.. Could not agree more. The only kind of porn that does anything for me is real amateur stuff..

Tell me, who was it you left me for? Was it Laszlo, or were there others in between? Or - aren't you the kind that tells?


Willyc2licu
Posted: Tuesday, September 17, 2013 12:40:04 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/30/2012
Posts: 333
Location: United Kingdom
i am with Angieseroticpen. Porn which is violent and degrading to women is a turnoff, and is in the same category as pictures of children. Explicit images which have been freely given, and loving and gentle sex between consenting adults of whatever gender can be very beautiful and can complement a loving relationship.

Inseminating Sandy - Susie initiates Sandy into the pleasures of a threesome
A Tale of Two Threesomes


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