Welcome Guest Search | Active Topics | Members | Log In | Register

Sexual labels Options · View
TonyZ
Posted: Tuesday, October 08, 2013 7:48:36 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/1/2013
Posts: 231
Location: United States
Why do people get so uptight about sexual labels? Heterosexuals don't like to be called gay. Gay people don't like to be called bisexual. Bisexual people most of the time don't care what they are called. And then you have the pansexuals and the transgenders... when did we cease to be human?
seeker4
Posted: Tuesday, October 08, 2013 7:57:59 PM

Rank: Story Verifier

Joined: 10/17/2012
Posts: 3,437
Location: Gone walkabout, Canada
On another board, I posed the question "Why can't we just all be 'sexual'?". Why should we be defined by our preferences, esp. when they are ultimately individual? Just accept that everyone that has sexual feelings may experience them towards different people in different ways and then try to get to know each person as an individual rather than trying to shoehorn them into a label that may or may not be a good fit. However, given the human propensity for slapping labels on anything and everything, I suspect I'm being idealistic with this notion.

Its been a while but I finally got a new story out. Enjoy!

Satisfaction in the Park
TonyZ
Posted: Tuesday, October 08, 2013 8:04:16 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/1/2013
Posts: 231
Location: United States
seeker4 wrote:
On another board, I posed the question "Why can't we just all be 'sexual'?".


I actually love the idea that we are all human and that we are all 'sexual'. Hmm... I like the way you think :)
dpw
Posted: Wednesday, October 09, 2013 7:56:10 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/15/2013
Posts: 3,205
Location: Liverpool, United Kingdom
TonyZ wrote:
Why do people get so uptight about sexual labels? Heterosexuals don't like to be called gay. Gay people don't like to be called bisexual. Bisexual people most of the time don't care what they are called. And then you have the pansexuals and the transgenders... when did we cease to be human?

I'm happy just to get called!
Seriously though, I agree. It makes us all sound like sub-species.
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, October 09, 2013 6:53:42 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,741
I have a friend who is a sex therapist and she does not believe in labels. She thinks very few people are one or the other. She says sexuality is a bell curve. They may choose one or the other but if we open our minds we will have some serious fun. I call myself bisexual because I am, more into men but I have been with women who have meant a lot to me. I have 'gay' male friends who have been with one or two women, some who would never do it. Same with the ladies. Very good topic btw.
TonyZ
Posted: Wednesday, October 09, 2013 8:32:29 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/1/2013
Posts: 231
Location: United States
NickiC wrote:
I have a friend who is a sex therapist and she does not believe in labels. She thinks very few people are one or the other. She says sexuality is a bell curve. They may choose one or the other but if we open our minds we will have some serious fun. I call myself bisexual because I am, more into men but I have been with women who have meant a lot to me. I have 'gay' male friends who have been with one or two women, some who would never do it. Same with the ladies. Very good topic btw.


Nicki, although I consider myself as 100% gay I can definitely relate to your friend's train of thought. I believe that the Kinsey scale/study suggests approximations to the true values, but there are no absolute blacks and no absolute whites. Instead there are a whole bunch of gray scales or in betweens. I believe that human behavior is a little bit more complicated and does not accurately fit in the 6 levels of Kinsey's Scale. If we open the scale to all of the possibilities in the world, we will end up concluding that there are no true values or definitives, and that lines soon become blurry.

Each event and/or experience we have sways us a few notches one way or the other, hence the gray in between. What's even more fascinating is that the same event or experience may sway a different person onto the opposite side of the spectrum. That may very well be either because of a previous experience or because of the lack of another experience. By the way, some of those experiences may happen even before we are born and are transferred to us through our parents chromosomes. It doesn't matter how we attain our experiences, but, at the end of the day we are all a collection of various experiences which makes up who we are and how we behave.

In other words, I think that no matter how gay or straight a person might be, no one is 100% one or the other. We may position ourselves closer to one end of the spectrum than the other, but we will never be absolutely black nor white. As we begin to move more towards the middle of the spectrum the lines become blurrier, but even then we may have a certain preference for one gender over the other. So I can understand and relate fully to your friend's way of thinking.

What I can't understand is why do we, as human beings, have the need for labels that divide and in some cases hurt. We are all humans and we all have the right to be happy and to love whomever we wish to love. In my book the only absolute is that humans have no real need for labels!
1nfinitesexuallity
Posted: Thursday, October 10, 2013 2:34:16 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/10/2013
Posts: 162
Location: kissimmee, United States
Like seeker says I'm just sexual I love sex.. No one can take that away from me :) simple as that
TonyZ
Posted: Thursday, October 10, 2013 6:24:03 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/1/2013
Posts: 231
Location: United States
1nfinitesexuallity wrote:
Like seeker says I'm just sexual I love sex.. No one can take that away from me :) simple as that


That is a beautiful way to look at it... I am glad that more and more people see themselves that way :)
Guest
Posted: Friday, October 11, 2013 7:27:31 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,741
TonyZ wrote:


Nicki, although I consider myself as 100% gay I can definitely relate to your friend's train of thought. I believe that the Kinsey scale/study suggests approximations to the true values, but there are no absolute blacks and no absolute whites. Instead there are a whole bunch of gray scales or in betweens. I believe that human behavior is a little bit more complicated and does not accurately fit in the 6 levels of Kinsey's Scale. If we open the scale to all of the possibilities in the world, we will end up concluding that there are no true values or definitives, and that lines soon become blurry.

Each event and/or experience we have sways us a few notches one way or the other, hence the gray in between. What's even more fascinating is that the same event or experience may sway a different person onto the opposite side of the spectrum. That may very well be either because of a previous experience or because of the lack of another experience. By the way, some of those experiences may happen even before we are born and are transferred to us through our parents chromosomes. It doesn't matter how we attain our experiences, but, at the end of the day we are all a collection of various experiences which makes up who we are and how we behave.

In other words, I think that no matter how gay or straight a person might be, no one is 100% one or the other. We may position ourselves closer to one end of the spectrum than the other, but we will never be absolutely black nor white. As we begin to move more towards the middle of the spectrum the lines become blurrier, but even then we may have a certain preference for one gender over the other. So I can understand and relate fully to your friend's way of thinking.

What I can't understand is why do we, as human beings, have the need for labels that divide and in some cases hurt. We are all humans and we all have the right to be happy and to love whomever we wish to love. In my book the only absolute is that humans have no real need for labels!


I have been attacked for saying I am bisexual. CHOOSE. I am like why? Why do you need me to do that? I have known gay men who have had one woman that they were crazy about, lesbians who had that one guy...I could go on and on about this.
Dani
Posted: Friday, October 11, 2013 9:50:43 PM

Rank: Big-Haired Bitch

Joined: 12/25/2010
Posts: 4,654
Location: Under Your Bed, United States
I don't think it's so much labels as people saying what they prefer sexually. Saying you're sexual isn't inaccurate, it's just not specific. I don't think it's dehumanizing. Being bisexual or heterosexual or homosexual or pansexual etc. is not much different than saying you're a brunette or a blonde or that you have blue eyes or green eyes. It's just stating a fact about yourself.

Yes, we're all sexual beings. But someone who is a homosexual desires same sex relations(hips). Just like someone who's bisexual desires either sex.

As far as a heterosexual getting offended by being called gay, well not many people like being called something they're not. Hell, some people get bent outta shape being called something that they ARE.

So I don't think it's so much being caught up in labels. People just identify in different ways and with different things/situations. To each his/her own.



Baby put your arms around me, tell me I'm a problem...

Guest
Posted: Monday, October 14, 2013 11:42:19 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,741
we should accept the people as they are ... they are humans like you said !!! they are like that coz of the problems they faced and !!! we should understand and love them !!! if a man loves another man or a woman loves another women or if they love any transgender ... then we shouldn't judge them, we should accept them ... LOVE is all matters and in the end it's LOVE ... !!!
TonyZ
Posted: Monday, October 14, 2013 10:46:15 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/1/2013
Posts: 231
Location: United States
luci_fer wrote:
they are like that coz of the problems they faced and !!!


What problems? I have not faced any problems...
sprite
Posted: Monday, October 14, 2013 10:56:34 PM

Rank: Her Royal Spriteness

Joined: 6/18/2010
Posts: 14,527
Location: My Tower, United States
labels like... X-Large? Polyester? Wash in cold water? No added preservatives? this is a very confusing tread...

http://www.lushstories.com/stories/hardcore/west-coast-games-part-one-the-beach.aspx
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, October 15, 2013 12:23:53 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,741
TonyZ wrote:


What problems? I have not faced any problems...


sorry about that ...
asleep
Posted: Tuesday, October 15, 2013 12:31:40 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 12/30/2011
Posts: 3,175
Location: United States
sprite wrote:
labels like... X-Large? Polyester? Wash in cold water? No added preservatives? this is a very confusing tread...



laughing3 ->sign5 sign5 sign5

(private to Sprite...I just KNEWyou would have a wonderful comment)

http://www.lushstories.com/stories/love-stories/exit-33-trust.aspx

dpw
Posted: Tuesday, October 15, 2013 12:45:30 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/15/2013
Posts: 3,205
Location: Liverpool, United Kingdom
TonyZ wrote:


What problems? I have not faced any problems...

Not faced any problems? Come on! You had a problem choosing between the bunny and the red fox!
love10
TonyZ
Posted: Tuesday, October 15, 2013 10:36:53 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/1/2013
Posts: 231
Location: United States
sprite wrote:
labels like... X-Large? Polyester? Wash in cold water? No added preservatives? this is a very confusing tread...


Those labels are actually quite useful, unlike the other ones that I am talking about... book
TonyZ
Posted: Tuesday, October 15, 2013 10:40:26 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/1/2013
Posts: 231
Location: United States
dpw wrote:

Not faced any problems? Come on! You had a problem choosing between the bunny and the red fox!
love10


that was not a problem... more like an indecision which was quickly solved once I found out about the fox hoodie. I am going to look foxy hot ;)
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, October 15, 2013 11:55:02 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,741
Can we rock two? A fox hoodie...must do it...smile. Oh but that means...Sigh.
Users browsing this topic
Guest 


Forum Jump
You cannot post new topics in this forum.
You cannot reply to topics in this forum.
You cannot delete your posts in this forum.
You cannot edit your posts in this forum.
You cannot create polls in this forum.
You cannot vote in polls in this forum.

Main Forum RSS : RSS

Powered by Yet Another Forum.net version 1.9.1.6 (NET v4.0) - 11/14/2007
Copyright © 2003-2006 Yet Another Forum.net. All rights reserved.