Welcome Guest Search | Active Topics | Members | Log In | Register

Friend With benefits Options · View
angelash1000
Posted: Sunday, April 18, 2010 6:01:13 PM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 2/27/2010
Posts: 5
Basically I've started seeing this guy. We met online and got on really well and decided to meet. one thing led to another and we ended up in bed together having absolutely amazing sex!!! (btw story coming soon) He told me he doesnt want a relationship and as we live 50 mins away from each other and both busy lives we dicided to make it a sort of friends with benefits thing. We are free to sleep with anyone else we wish as well. His ex really messed him up and I know this is one reason he doesnt want a realtionship but that was over a year ago now.

Since then we see each other every two weeks. chat online almost every day for hours about all sorts. when we are together we basically act like a couple hugging kissing and watching films etc its not just about the sex. He hasnt actually slept with anyone since we got together although I had a one night stand that he knows about. although we get on and flirt and stuff he always says lil things like 'u dnt own me rememeber' or 'yours not my gf' and talks about other girls around me a lot too although hasnt had another one since me. We get on so well and im starting to get feelings for him. Sometimes i think he has feelings for me too but Im not sure.

I really dont want to lose him by tellin him. not only is he bloody massive and brilliant in bed but hes also a good friend too. so Dont want to scare him off.

Anyone else had a simliar story or know what he might be feeling??!?!?!?
sazraz
Posted: Monday, April 19, 2010 2:31:27 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/6/2009
Posts: 171
Location: United Kingdom
i had a few "friends with benefits" over the past 2 years when i was single...both were old friends who i'd always been close to and always been really attracted to and we started the whole "casual relationship" thing
. the sex was great with both of them
and well....just be careful cos for me it certainly didnt work out

i ended up hoping and wishing they'd see me in as more than a friend and that if they got over issues and exs etc then we could be together....

didnt end up that way...i took a leap of faith and told them how i felt on both occasions, they got scared off

ended up putting a big strain on our friendships...dont speak to one of them any more however i sorted out everything with the other and now we're better friends than ever in happy relationships with other people

id say dont get messed up in that but that's just me xx
Dancing_Doll
Posted: Monday, April 19, 2010 3:15:22 PM

Rank: Alpha Blonde

Joined: 2/17/2010
Posts: 6,271
Location: West Coast
This guy is enjoying the casual dating and sex that you guys have now, but he's not looking for anything serious.

He's sending all the tell-tale signs:

- joking that you don't own him
- talking about other girls
- bringing up the long-distance issue

He likes you, but he wants to make sure that keep perspective on what you guys have going on. He doesn't want you to fall in love with him, or get too emotionally attached.

Even though you act like a couple when you are together, this is still just part of casual dating. Try not to read too much into it.

I'd say, just enjoy it as a fling, but don't stop looking forward. If that means cutting down on the daily online chats in order to keep everything in perspective, you might want to consider it. Women often get emotionally attached a lot easier, and then start looking for things to read into in order to justify the idea that maybe he really feels the same. If he's told you he's not interested in anything serious, its definitely best to believe him.

Just have fun with him, and still consider yourself single and open to other possibilities.

He will bolt if you start acting clingy. He's just giving you the signals to try to prevent that from happening. Trust the signals.

Good luck hon!


Ian
Posted: Wednesday, April 28, 2010 4:16:08 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 2/12/2010
Posts: 89
in a guy's point of view,, i've been where he is. after being hurt, then free for so long, you get comfortable where you are, having fun but not dedicating yourself to anything serious. i liked my friend a lot before we had a fling, but in my case she started to act differently and it didn't seem like we were right for each other, we knew that. in your case, you have this guy always coming back to you, but able to be free with words about other men and women. im sure he likes you, but he's just scared of a change of order in his life.

there is the possible fear of him freaking out to the news of you liking him, but chances are he could know, since hints are hardly quiet lol. i'd say that this is a guy that needs his time to get his head sorted out, but you have to take your steps towards getting what you want, its not all about the good sex when something else is missing. ask him a little about his relationship situation and thoughts of getting together in the future little by little to ease it in, but beware because if you're the first relationship he's had since his ex then he could spend more time comparing if he's one of those guys.
curiousaboutall
Posted: Thursday, April 29, 2010 12:20:25 AM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 3/18/2010
Posts: 4
i will honestly say i had something like this me and this guy were super great friends talked all the time other than when one of us was in a relationship not so much but we liked each other and had a super werid chemistry he was always telling me that we shouldnt start a relationship because if something went wrong then we woul dlose are great friendship well one time after i broke up with my ex i went to see him considering he moved away to about 3 hours it sucked cause we couldnt hang out but when i went to see him we ended up getting together and doing shit because we tried a little few things before but when we actually gotten together it was cool then i came back home and we kept talking alot but when i told him i missed him and wanted to see him real bad he said it back but then after a few more days and all this shit he ended up pretty much ditching me and everything we dont talk anymore and probably wont ever again in some ways i wish i hadnt said that shit but i did and cant take it back now but i want to think if i didnt we would still have some kind of friendship
honestly if you want to tell be real careful cause you might lose him like i lost my guy but you never know i would just be real careful and try to pull back a little if you do that he might start missing you and might want something to get you back hope this helps a little
Guest
Posted: Sunday, May 02, 2010 2:35:23 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,748
Dancing_Doll wrote:

He likes you, but he wants to make sure that keep perspective on what you guys have going on. He doesn't want you to fall in love with him, or get too emotionally attached.

Even though you act like a couple when you are together, this is still just part of casual dating. Try not to read too much into it.

He will bolt if you start acting clingy. He's just giving you the signals to try to prevent that from happening. Trust the signals.

Good luck hon!


very well said DD, I agree completely!

"Reading" into things, especially regarding a relationship - it's like that word "assume" .... you may find yourself going "oops .. I just made an ass out of me".

Good Luck!!

Van
SIL50
Posted: Friday, May 14, 2010 8:23:03 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/3/2009
Posts: 62
Location: Alabama
Wanted to start a simular line. Glad I saw this first. Tried it with a very close friend many years ago. Sex was great but it cost me a very dear friend.
urbigdaddyjr
Posted: Monday, June 14, 2010 2:16:45 AM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 6/2/2010
Posts: 2
lol i can actually relate to this i hate to say this but honestly guys dont know wat we want and tats this guys problem, if u want him ur probably gonna have to make the first move,it also sounds like u two r dating anyway, one last thing u cant wait forever for this guy to go "hey maybe we can be more than just friends with benefits" cuz if all hes looking for is sex u should move on.
hope this helps

come home to bigdaddy
WellMadeMale
Posted: Monday, June 14, 2010 7:05:49 AM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,289
Location: Cakeland, United States
gAwdAmm tAtS hAdD tA ReeD

If ya can't beat 'em... pay someone to do it for you.
Users browsing this topic
Guest 


Forum Jump
You cannot post new topics in this forum.
You cannot reply to topics in this forum.
You cannot delete your posts in this forum.
You cannot edit your posts in this forum.
You cannot create polls in this forum.
You cannot vote in polls in this forum.

Main Forum RSS : RSS

Powered by Yet Another Forum.net version 1.9.1.6 (NET v4.0) - 11/14/2007
Copyright © 2003-2006 Yet Another Forum.net. All rights reserved.