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alwaysdreaming
Posted: Tuesday, December 24, 2013 8:47:18 AM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 2/7/2012
Posts: 6
Location: United Kingdom
My wife is up for this when she's had a drink but not when sober not sure how to take it
JimB01
Posted: Wednesday, December 25, 2013 12:01:12 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 10/30/2013
Posts: 56
Location: Mayerthorpe, Canada
must need the drinks to loosen her up and lower her inhabitations
MadMartigan
Posted: Wednesday, December 25, 2013 12:03:56 PM

Rank: Story Verifier

Joined: 6/17/2013
Posts: 1,899
Location: United States
It means, imo, if you have to get drunk for something, it isn't something you really want to do.

Tread carefully. If she's really not into it when sober, she's really not into it much.
BelleduJour
Posted: Wednesday, December 25, 2013 12:14:21 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/13/2011
Posts: 1,508
Location: Canada
MadMartigan wrote:
It means, imo, if you have to get drunk for something, it isn't something you really want to do.

Tread carefully. If she's really not into it when sober, she's really not into it much.


BINGO! Exactly what I wanted to say. Tread carefully indeed. As I've said countless times on here, sometimes those fantasies are best left as fantasies. Unfortunately, they don't all turn out like a scene in a porn movie. And once that bell has been rung, there is no going back from it. If she needs some kind of substance to get through it, that's a red flag in my humble opinion.

Besides, do you really want those experiences to be only as a result of getting your wife stoned drunk?? I think that says a lot about YOUR character if that somehow seems to be okay with you.

If having such fantasies are important to you, I'd start small and work your way up rather than jumping into the deep end without a floatie. Just my My 2 cents



Guest
Posted: Wednesday, December 25, 2013 1:29:34 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 473,477
BelleduJour wrote:


BINGO! Exactly what I wanted to say. Tread carefully indeed. As I've said countless times on here, sometimes those fantasies are best left as fantasies. Unfortunately, they don't all turn out like a scene in a porn movie. And once that bell has been rung, there is no going back from it. If she needs some kind of substance to get through it, that's a red flag in my humble opinion.

Besides, do you really want those experiences to be only as a result of getting your wife stoned drunk?? I think that says a lot about YOUR character if that somehow seems to be okay with you.

If having such fantasies are important to you, I'd start small and work your way up rather than jumping into the deep end without a floatie. Just my My 2 cents



Right! IMO, some things are best left as fantasies. Hot, erotic fantasies, but they don't translate to reality.
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, December 25, 2013 3:51:42 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 473,477
Thats me also I get really horny when I drink
souris
Posted: Wednesday, December 25, 2013 8:25:24 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 12/2/2013
Posts: 32
Location: Canada
Hey.. I am a girl that has done this before with my husband and another man and I have to say I needed a bit of a drink before hand the first time we ever tried it.. It is something I wanted to try but I get awkward or shy as it was so unknown. The liquor just helped loosen up. I was not wasted or anything!

Souris
alwaysdreaming
Posted: Thursday, December 26, 2013 12:27:24 PM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 2/7/2012
Posts: 6
Location: United Kingdom
I was hoping my wife would feel the same and it wasn't just my idea
1nympholes
Posted: Thursday, December 26, 2013 2:26:24 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 5/31/2012
Posts: 658
Location: Bare Beach USA, United States
I have a drink maybe once month so it is a non-factor.

But having been in the Lifestyle for years, Robb has seen me with many a man or a woman too before.

It seems to really turn him on, since we often do not get home before he wants to do me too.







The girl who started early at this game of sexual pleasure, This girl that never seems to get as much as she wants, at least from the right people. But now certainly the woman that will test all the paths of pleasure with you.
alwaysdreaming
Posted: Friday, December 27, 2013 1:16:23 AM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 2/7/2012
Posts: 6
Location: United Kingdom
The thought of watching her with a man is a turn on for me but not her when sober perhaps I should leave it
submissivemom72
Posted: Friday, December 27, 2013 5:27:29 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 1/6/2012
Posts: 56
Location: United States
There are interim steps you can take and see how she feels about it afterwards. You could dress her sexy, and take her to a bar and let her dance with other guys and play around the edges a bit with the agreement ahead of time that nothing 'serious' will happen. Then you two could discuss it afterwards and see if she liked the idea of dancing (and perhaps a little kissing and being felt up a bit) by other guys, or she feels badly about her actions.

This way she gets the attention and the fantasy without actually performing any of the sex acts that she might regret. The two of you can then go home (alone) and you can fantasize together about what might have happened if (...you invited that good looking black man she was dancing with home with you.)

harmless fun....
alwaysdreaming
Posted: Friday, December 27, 2013 10:47:48 AM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 2/7/2012
Posts: 6
Location: United Kingdom
This is a good idea could suggest it for a future night out
bevaire
Posted: Sunday, January 05, 2014 6:39:47 PM

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Joined: 1/5/2014
Posts: 12
I completely disagree that wanting to drink first is a sign she's not into it. My wife loves to have a few drinks and some weed before sex with me, and that doesn't mean she doesn't really dig it. She Really digs it! When we have sober sex, its a nice loving sharing king of thing, and we enjoy that. When we have sex after partying - its an all night no holds barred porn fiesta. We go way, way, beyond anything she allows when sober. But the fact that we do it both ways, regularly, repeatedly, and with no remorse, and in fact taking it further by increments, tells me your wife may just want a few drinks before getting wild. Its not a sure sign she is not into it.

I'd go slowly, by increments, just like submissivemom72 said. And... let her have a few drinks.
JohnC
Posted: Monday, January 06, 2014 3:28:43 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/7/2013
Posts: 5,031
Location: United States
bevaire wrote:
I completely disagree that wanting to drink first is a sign she's not into it. My wife loves to have a few drinks and some weed before sex with me, and that doesn't mean she doesn't really dig it. She Really digs it! When we have sober sex, its a nice loving sharing king of thing, and we enjoy that. When we have sex after partying - its an all night no holds barred porn fiesta. We go way, way, beyond anything she allows when sober. But the fact that we do it both ways, regularly, repeatedly, and with no remorse, and in fact taking it further by increments, tells me your wife may just want a few drinks before getting wild. Its not a sure sign she is not into it.

I'd go slowly, by increments, just like submissivemom72 said. And... let her have a few drinks.

Apples and oranges. Your situation is not the same as the OP. He clearly states that his wife is NOT interested in it when sober. You say your wife "loves to have a few drinks and some weed before sex", but you also admit that she enjoys having sex with you sober as well. Getting MORE sexual when drunk or on drugs, but still being sexual without them is far different than NO before and YES after.

I have to agree with those who say to leave it as a fantasy unless she states interest when sober... and then think twice about taking it from fantasy to reality. It is a bell you can't unring and in most cases it causes serious issues between couples who do it.

thesexynun
Posted: Monday, January 06, 2014 6:05:37 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/18/2013
Posts: 481
Location: the nunnery, United States
anyone who has to get drunk to do ANYTHING should not... be doing... whatever it is they need to get DUTCH courage for

if you are not 100 percent into anything sober..you are NOT into it

this is clearly YOUR fantasy

so as I have said on other posts go watch porn and find something you BOTH want to do!

" smile..it is the second best thing to do with your LIPS!"
Weavindreams
Posted: Monday, January 06, 2014 6:38:26 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/28/2013
Posts: 4,948
Location: On the bluffs above the Mississippi River., United
I've seen a lot of good posts on here. My thoughts are that as Belle stated some times fantasy realized is disappointing, additionally it also LOSES it's power to turn you on!( Fact!) As to the drinking, I can see both sides of that argument. I've known women and seen women (while working as a bouncer in a CW night club) who screwed like rabbits when they got drunk and loved to get drunk ....FOR THAT REASON! Hell, I've had a couple ASK ME to get them drunk and told me that if I did they'd screw my brains out! I've also seen the ones who got drunk, dropped their panties and were filled with regret the next day. BUT, none of that changes my original point. Some things ARE best LEFT as fantasy. On rare occasions with EXACTLY the right people, things work out great and every body is happy; those are the exceptions!

Due to the politely worded request of a lady, I have changed my sig.

bevaire
Posted: Monday, January 06, 2014 11:42:33 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 1/5/2014
Posts: 12
The mechanics of fantasy are probably more important than the drinking... its been a while since I've been around you all.. so I've forgotten about some of the issues related to actually doing the things you dream about, and the fact that there is a relationship in the balance here, and taking one's actions beyond existing boundaries could very well end it badly. So if I was AlwaysDreaming I'd pay close attention to those who are advising the safe and sane ways to explore the limits, and perhaps gradually bring dreams to fruition.

So I wouldn't advise drinking and then doing things that could end your relationship. I guess the question for AlwaysDreaming is: Does you wife think, while sober, that if she were to have sex with someone while you watched, that would be the end of your relationship?
alwaysdreaming
Posted: Wednesday, January 08, 2014 12:52:07 AM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 2/7/2012
Posts: 6
Location: United Kingdom
I haven't had the guts to broach it with her but the posts could be right about the fact that she may think ill change towards her if I watched her with another
Weavindreams
Posted: Wednesday, January 08, 2014 1:23:04 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/28/2013
Posts: 4,948
Location: On the bluffs above the Mississippi River., United
alwaysdreaming wrote:
I haven't had the guts to broach it with her but the posts could be right about the fact that she may think ill change towards her if I watched her with another


AND, THAT too is a possibility to take into consideration here. It's one thing to have a FANTASY,BUT do you REALLY KNOW how you'd feel IF it DD happen? OR, how SHE might feel afterwards? That for you to say," YES" and watch it happen MIGHT result in her feeling that you DON'T care about her. that you no longer REALLY love her? Use a dildo on her while she gives you oral with her eyes closed and tell her about "the OTHER GUY" (after you KNOW what OTHER guys, like movie stars) she DOES get turned on by.)

Due to the politely worded request of a lady, I have changed my sig.

NaturallyRed
Posted: Wednesday, January 08, 2014 3:37:28 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 1/6/2014
Posts: 20
Location: United States
submissivemom72 wrote:
There are interim steps you can take and see how she feels about it afterwards. You could dress her sexy, and take her to a bar and let her dance with other guys and play around the edges a bit with the agreement ahead of time that nothing 'serious' will happen. Then you two could discuss it afterwards and see if she liked the idea of dancing (and perhaps a little kissing and being felt up a bit) by other guys, or she feels badly about her actions.

This way she gets the attention and the fantasy without actually performing any of the sex acts that she might regret. The two of you can then go home (alone) and you can fantasize together about what might have happened if (...you invited that good looking black man she was dancing with home with you.)

harmless fun....


I think this is really great advice Submom72! I would add that maybe this can be done while on vacation; as in not anywhere close to where you live. I know for me, there would be repercussions in my professional and personal life if the wrong people saw me with someone else. I also agree if she needs more than a drink or two, it's a no go. I wonder, could she be fearing something that could be easily fixed? Like being caught? Maybe if you take these interim steps as suggested some dialog will happen that will give you an insight on her fears.
alwaysdreaming
Posted: Wednesday, January 08, 2014 4:46:25 AM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 2/7/2012
Posts: 6
Location: United Kingdom
She does fantasy of having sex with Daniel Craig the new James Bond when we role play so I could use that as a start
DMphilly78
Posted: Thursday, January 09, 2014 11:52:12 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 1/9/2014
Posts: 38
Location: United States
My Ex wanted this to happen but it never did! I am still unsure How I feel about it...
hayley
Posted: Thursday, January 09, 2014 1:09:35 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/19/2012
Posts: 580
Location: NYC, United States
weird post under "Ask The Girls" ???? ... if I had a wife.. technically possible now.. nooooooooooo ...
would I watch her with another woman???? ... u didn't ask the question .... so I don't have to answer ... got me thinking though...

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