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Guest
Posted: Sunday, April 25, 2010 4:14:29 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 470,161

When you guys meet a woman or a man online how long does it take before you start to to think, wow this gal, or bloke is really something and they start to be something more than just any person online.
Guest
Posted: Sunday, April 25, 2010 11:42:44 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 470,161
I actually met my husband online 8 years ago. We started out as friends, I looked to him as a big brother, because he was older, but then we got closer, and I fell in love with him. It took him 2 years to tell me he loved me. We will celebrate 6 wonderful years of marriage in July.
thepainter
Posted: Sunday, April 25, 2010 3:03:57 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/23/2009
Posts: 1,353
Location: hell, Netherlands
Well my situation is as unlikely as they come. I think it took us a week and yes I'm aware of the naysayers. But after having met irl and still chatting daily we've only developed stronger feelings for each other. We're almost 4 months together and currently planning the 2nd irl meeting.
So, it can happen even if the chance of finding someone who's actually willing to go the whole 9 yards is infinitesimal.

Insert typical super smart ass comment courtesy of thepainter here.
tommie
Posted: Sunday, April 25, 2010 4:34:59 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 12/10/2009
Posts: 549
Location: Somewhere, Germany
Too actually answer the question. I think it depends per person per situation. You can have one long good chat with a person and already feel a connection or just talk a few times every week and slowly start developing stronger feelings. It takes time to really trust a person, especially online. But who can you trust really? Even face to face a person can still screw you over. So caution is always adviced, not only online :)
Milik_Redman
Posted: Sunday, April 25, 2010 8:05:15 PM

Rank: Internet Philosopher

Joined: 8/14/2009
Posts: 3,703
Location: somewhere deep under the Earth, United States
The ladies need to be careful and keep their wits about them when planning a meeting with a guy they meet online. I hate to say it, but not every guy on the site is the man he seems. I'm sure this is not a revalation to anybody.

β€œIt is a great thing to know your vices.”
― Marcus Tullius Cicero




http://www.lushstories.com/stories/cheating/a-trans-atlantic-affair.aspx
thepainter
Posted: Monday, April 26, 2010 6:48:27 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/23/2009
Posts: 1,353
Location: hell, Netherlands
Milik_The_Red wrote:
The ladies need to be careful and keep their wits about them when planning a meeting with a guy they meet online. I hate to say it, but not every guy on the site is the man he seems. I'm sure this is not a revalation to anybody.


This goes both ways. Plenty 'women' on lush have pics that are definitely not of themselves even though they act like the pics are. Hence why webcamming is a good way to make sure.

Insert typical super smart ass comment courtesy of thepainter here.
WellMadeMale
Posted: Monday, April 26, 2010 9:27:14 AM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,212
Location: Cakeland, United States
thepainter wrote:
Milik_The_Red wrote:
The ladies need to be careful and keep their wits about them when planning a meeting with a guy they meet online. I hate to say it, but not every guy on the site is the man he seems. I'm sure this is not a revalation to anybody.


This goes both ways. Plenty 'women' on lush have pics that are definitely not of themselves even though they act like the pics are. Hence why webcamming is a good way to make sure.


As I'm sure any of you fellows who've used the internet to hookup with ladies (or men) can attest...It isn't just the images of the person you're chatting or speaking with, you should consider. If you rush into anything with anyone, based upon how they look while primped up at a lounge/night club or while they are sitting in front of their web cam - you're asking for drama you know nothing of. It is a roll of the dice.

Ted Bundy was a fairly handsome dude and Anna Nicole Smith was a hottie (once upon a time). Both were batshit crazy.

If ya can't beat 'em... pay someone to do it for you.
Guest
Posted: Monday, April 26, 2010 9:36:30 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 470,161
Yeah but Anna didn't murder people.
WellMadeMale
Posted: Monday, April 26, 2010 9:59:58 AM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,212
Location: Cakeland, United States
chefkathleen wrote:
Yeah but Anna didn't murder people.


True enough, but her behaviour could drive many men to want to murder themselves after a week's exposure to her.

If ya can't beat 'em... pay someone to do it for you.
thepainter
Posted: Monday, April 26, 2010 10:39:23 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/23/2009
Posts: 1,353
Location: hell, Netherlands
Can't say I was ever allured by Anna Nicole Smith so no fear of committing suicide over her. evil4
Looks in general are obviously a factor but never the deciding factor in my choices concerning what woman I'd like to court.

Of course rushing into something can be bad but if you spend considerable time talking to someone you usually (emphasis here!) can get a pretty decent idea of what that person is made of. As WMM points out it's the same IRL as online, so it all boils down to whether you're willing to roll the dice and take some risk. Or whether you want to become a bitter angry message board poster who shakes his fist at all those people who are willing to take that risk. hello2

But images are often/usually the first point of 'contact' if you will. Something more tangible than words in chatrooms. People (or should I say men?) decide on women's pics on their lush profiles whether to start up a private chat and go from there. If you're looking for a quick webcam sex fix then anything goes I guess.
But if you're looking for more than instant sexual satisfaction you develop a kind of bond with a few people and by chatting over a longer period you can get to know them fairly well. Of course there will always be some who will bend the truth or simply lie about certain things. It might be harder to pick this up when engaging in online courtship than IRL.

In short, follow your heart but don't shut off your brain to use common logic whenever something seems iffy or sounds too good to be true.

Insert typical super smart ass comment courtesy of thepainter here.
Guest
Posted: Monday, April 26, 2010 10:56:45 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 470,161
They dont exist.... In rare cases yes but generally just flirtatious and erotic talk to fill ur mind and hearts fantasies...
LaceyChains
Posted: Tuesday, April 27, 2010 3:44:29 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/11/2010
Posts: 139
Location: Hiding in plain sight

This goes both ways. Plenty 'women' on lush have pics that are definitely not of themselves even though they act like the pics are. Hence why webcamming is a good way to make sure.[/quote]

I don't think I could cam with a guy I didn't know personally. I would be crushed to find a vid of me having an O on some internet site. Thats just one drama I don't need right now.
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, April 27, 2010 3:49:54 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 470,161
thepainter wrote:
Milik_The_Red wrote:
The ladies need to be careful and keep their wits about them when planning a meeting with a guy they meet online. I hate to say it, but not every guy on the site is the man he seems. I'm sure this is not a revalation to anybody.


This goes both ways. Plenty 'women' on lush have pics that are definitely not of themselves even though they act like the pics are. Hence why webcamming is a good way to make sure.


I agree with you on that one and I'm deffo not a honeybee. But with even web-cams peoples heights and faces are not what they seem in real life.
Piquet
Posted: Tuesday, April 27, 2010 5:41:33 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/12/2009
Posts: 340
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Well, a while ago I would have thought on - line relationships impossible in any meaningful way. I was wrong.

If you define a relationship broadly as interaction with a person with which you are emotionally attached, then yes, It's a relationship.

However, as in any relationship, basic factors like honesty and respect still have to operate and if ' love finds a way' in the end, as it seems to have done both here and on other sites - all's well with the world !



http://www.lushstories.com/stories/quickie-sex/claudia-incarnatapart-vii.aspx
thepainter
Posted: Wednesday, April 28, 2010 4:50:37 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/23/2009
Posts: 1,353
Location: hell, Netherlands
LaceyChains wrote:
I don't think I could cam with a guy I didn't know personally. I would be crushed to find a vid of me having an O on some internet site. Thats just one drama I don't need right now.


Most women indeed like to at least get to know someone a bit before agreeing to camming. But in fact most women don't cam, in my experience anyway. So for just watching some dude do his thing some women don't mind not knowing him.
hornybunny74 didn't even tell me she had a cam until after I turned mine on. And she admitted to never even having cammed with anyone before, not even regular chatting on cam. So we just took small steps which soon turned into big steps haha.
Of course it differs per person but once you feel comfortable and trust the other person as Piquet said, women sometimes come out of their shelves and can rather enjoy it with the right person.
I think it happens frequently that feelings will develop if you really hit it off with someone but the trick is how to get to the next step of actually meeting. (Of course assuming both parties want to meet.) Again in my experience the translation of the online relationship into a irl relationship often causes a break-up.

HoneyBee000 wrote:
I agree with you on that one and I'm deffo not a honeybee. But with even web-cams peoples heights and faces are not what they seem in real life.


This is true too. You can't really get a good indication of heights even with surroundings in the background. But at least with webcams you can get a much better idea of how someone looks like and especially whether it's really them in those pics.
Funny thing is that hornybunny74 thought I might be a bit taller (lol) but even though I'm only 5'9 I think that's an excellent height for someone who's 5'2. In fact, position 69 doesn't really work for us but there's plenty of other fun positions that do. evil4

Insert typical super smart ass comment courtesy of thepainter here.
paco55
Posted: Wednesday, April 28, 2010 9:39:12 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 4/22/2010
Posts: 54
Location: Michigan
Honesty never hurt anyone. I have met a few people irl from chats. I tell them from the start that I'm a big guy, (stocky) and have been my whole life. I'm Italian.. I like to eat!! One woman I met was appalled that I was big. I sent her pics. I didn't hide anything. we talked on the phone quite a bit. Even asked of she liked the "teddy bear" type It was all cool until we met person to person. Now, I'm not a slob. I take pride in how I dress but there was still and issue. I guess she thought I was lying and was a 20 something Aerobics instructor or something. Needless to say she never contacted me again after that day.

So you really never know. Just like any relationship. I've met some great people from online. You are what you are, being honest takes any doubts away.

Quote:
I make a offer, you can't refuse!
darkchallenger
Posted: Wednesday, April 28, 2010 9:50:10 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/24/2010
Posts: 157
Location: On the trails somewhere, United States
Met my best friend online. We clicked fairly early on. I talk more with her than anyone in the "real" world.
Guest
Posted: Monday, May 03, 2010 7:34:47 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 470,161
You have to be careful as many live a life far from reality on line than they do in real life. I have met a few people over the yrs who are true friends. Even on this site I have met a few people who I have let into my life. Just be careful if and when you plan on meeting people you meet on line. People have been raped and killed by meeting what they thought were great people.. I am one of the lucky ones. I met the woman I love on line.
Rembacher
Posted: Monday, May 03, 2010 7:48:19 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/16/2008
Posts: 1,101
Like meeting anyone, it deepends on the person. I've had three women that I made plans to meet in real life. One, I knew within a week I wanted to meet her in real life. The other two, it took a while for me to realise that I wanted more than just an online relationship with them. One, I knew for 4 months before the idea crossed my mind. The other took 2 months.

Sadly, I've experienced the downside of the online to real life experience, and not the upside like some of the more fortunate members above. None of the 3 girls who planned to meet me ever did. In fact, soon after agreeing to meet me, all 3 disappeared from my life. (3 different times, not all at once) So be careful. Because there is nothing worse than the feeling of helplessness when someone you really care about just disappears with no explanation why.
Annie_S
Posted: Saturday, May 15, 2010 2:04:53 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 12/2/2009
Posts: 22
HoneyBee000 wrote:

When you guys meet a woman or a man online how long does it take before you start to to think, wow this gal, or bloke is really something and they start to be something more than just any person online.


If we click, it usually takes me only a few weeks before I start ignoring all my other online friends and wanting to only talk to him (or her). But I wouldn't meet anyone in RL for a good few months.
Because of this cautiousness or maybe just pure luck, but I never ever had any bad experiences.
I gained many great friends, a few fb-s and a bf online. After talking on a general chatline for almost a year, we decided he should come over (from Australia to the US- so quite a big step). When I saw him at the airport I was a bit dissapointed, as he looked much better in pictures and the first few hours were awkward, but then I realised, he might not be an Adonis but he is the one I have so much in common with, he is the one I love. He stayed for a month and it was one of the best time of my life.
I was supposed to follow him to Australia, but unfortunately didn't get my visa, and after meeting in RL, online chat just wasn't enough for us, so eventually I lost him. Up to this day I still wonder about the 'what if's'.
Guest
Posted: Saturday, May 15, 2010 3:19:53 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 470,161
Annie_S wrote:
HoneyBee000 wrote:

When you guys meet a woman or a man online how long does it take before you start to to think, wow this gal, or bloke is really something and they start to be something more than just any person online.


If we click, it usually takes me only a few weeks before I start ignoring all my other online friends and wanting to only talk to him (or her). But I wouldn't meet anyone in RL for a good few months.
Because of this cautiousness or maybe just pure luck, but I never ever had any bad experiences.
I gained many great friends, a few fb-s and a bf online. After talking on a general chatline for almost a year, we decided he should come over (from Australia to the US- so quite a big step). When I saw him at the airport I was a bit dissapointed, as he looked much better in pictures and the first few hours were awkward, but then I realised, he might not be an Adonis but he is the one I have so much in common with, he is the one I love. He stayed for a month and it was one of the best time of my life.
I was supposed to follow him to Australia, but unfortunately didn't get my visa, and after meeting in RL, online chat just wasn't enough for us, so eventually I lost him. Up to this day I still wonder about the 'what if's'.


Thanks for being so honest about what you felt meeting him at the airport. Love is hard work when there is such a distance and you want them so much. Yeah, I can understand the feeling that being online isn't enough after a while.
thepainter
Posted: Saturday, May 15, 2010 6:40:49 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/23/2009
Posts: 1,353
Location: hell, Netherlands
@ Annie_S: do US citizens need a visa to visit Australia? I know that if you stay longer than a certain period you need a visa but maybe you could've stayed 1 day less than the amount of time that would require you to get a visa?

Funny thing about appearances, pics and webcams only go so far. Before I saw hb74 in pics or on cam she warned me that she didn't look like Angelina Jolie. That made me chuckle since I usually tell women that I don't look like Brad Pitt just before showing them my pics or my face on cam. Seeing how Jolie and Pitt are a couple this just felt like a sign hehe.
When we finally met at the airport she thought I was smaller than she expected but she was too shy to say too much lol. Once we got used to our bodies being to close to each opther, walking around Amsterdam holding hands it pretty quickly started to feel rather natural and good.
Not to mention the look on her face when she had fully undressed me and saw me and my brush naked in person lol.

Yes I agree with online not being as good post-meeting in RL as it was pre-meeting in RL. But it's important to plan a next RL meeting and I'm glad we managed to do so. I'm visiting hb74 in 9 weeks. Not only just to visit her but also to meet her friends and her family. It's "just" a 2 week trip but it will definitely deepen our relationship.
Once my job situation is resolved we plan to live together for a certain amount of time (obviously depending on visa issues where ever I end up) to see how we get along over an extended period of time (2/3 months?).
If that goes well then permanent living together/marriage/etc. will be discussed.

But first, the trip in 9 weeks! hello1

Insert typical super smart ass comment courtesy of thepainter here.
Guest
Posted: Saturday, May 15, 2010 8:33:55 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 470,161
Awe your a happy man, good luch painter yipeeeeee hello1
Annie_S
Posted: Thursday, May 20, 2010 2:32:17 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 12/2/2009
Posts: 22
thepainter wrote:
@ Annie_S: do US citizens need a visa to visit Australia? I know that if you stay longer than a certain period you need a visa but maybe you could've stayed 1 day less than the amount of time that would require you to get a visa?


I'm not an US citizen, and even if I was, I wasn't planning to just visit him, I wanted to live with him. I remember, I cried for like 2 weeks when my visa's been refused. He came to see me months later, when I was back to Europe, but it was just very difficult and did not work out.
Good luck for you, painter.
WellMadeMale
Posted: Thursday, May 20, 2010 3:04:42 PM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,212
Location: Cakeland, United States
HoneyBee000 wrote:
When you guys meet a woman or a man online how long does it take before you start to to think, wow this gal, or bloke is really something and they start to be something more than just any person online.


When I find out she is within an hour's drive of me. Then, I whip out the full well made male routine. Total gentleman with just a hint of naughty-mother-fucker.

If I could manufacture the scent and bottle it, I'd make million$, I tell ya.

If ya can't beat 'em... pay someone to do it for you.
Magical_felix
Posted: Thursday, May 20, 2010 4:06:35 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/3/2010
Posts: 4,538
Location: California
Jebru wrote:
Like meeting anyone, it deepends on the person. I've had three women that I made plans to meet in real life. One, I knew within a week I wanted to meet her in real life. The other two, it took a while for me to realise that I wanted more than just an online relationship with them. One, I knew for 4 months before the idea crossed my mind. The other took 2 months.

Sadly, I've experienced the downside of the online to real life experience, and not the upside like some of the more fortunate members above. None of the 3 girls who planned to meet me ever did. In fact, soon after agreeing to meet me, all 3 disappeared from my life. (3 different times, not all at once) So be careful. Because there is nothing worse than the feeling of helplessness when someone you really care about just disappears with no explanation why.


Sounds like they might have been married women. They might have chickened out on you as to not risk their relationships. They might not have meant to hurt you. That is pretty cold to just cut off all contact. I'm sure that must have been immensely frustrating.



Guest
Posted: Thursday, May 20, 2010 4:31:27 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 470,161
WellMadeMale wrote:


If I could manufacture the scent and bottle it, I'd make million$, I tell ya.


oooh ... come on, WMM ... get some R&D on this! I'll buy shares!

Van
rougerogue
Posted: Thursday, May 20, 2010 4:57:58 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 12/9/2009
Posts: 114
I met my significant other online in a music chat room. We hit it off straight away and feelings became involved really quickly. After a few months the conversation of meeting came up, we debated long and hard about meeting for weeks before we actually did. The thing with online relationships is that handy delete button, you type, dont like what you say just delete it, find the perfect line then send. I must have been the most charming person in the universe to her.
We did eventually meet and i think we both had the initial shock at seeing each other, even though we had cammed, it was still a shock when her 5ft 2 translated to my 6ft 4. We spent the weekend together, which then quikcly turned to a week. We've been living together five years now and actually get married four weeks tomorrow (holy hell!!!).
So yes i believe online relationships work, but i think i was real lucky!
thepainter
Posted: Thursday, May 20, 2010 5:06:53 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/23/2009
Posts: 1,353
Location: hell, Netherlands
I watched the documentary "talhotblond" tonight which is basically the complete opposite of me and hb74 lol.
Quite interesting how far these people went into their fantasy world, up to the point where someone got killed.

Insert typical super smart ass comment courtesy of thepainter here.
Guest
Posted: Friday, May 21, 2010 4:43:37 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 470,161
WellMadeMale wrote:
HoneyBee000 wrote:
When you guys meet a woman or a man online how long does it take before you start to to think, wow this gal, or bloke is really something and they start to be something more than just any person online.


When I find out she is within an hour's drive of me. Then, I whip out the full well made male routine. Total gentleman with just a hint of naughty-mother-fucker.

If I could manufacture the scent and bottle it, I'd make million$, I tell ya.


Yeah that sounds about right WMM hee hee evil4
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