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How do you feel about guys touching you up in bars and clubs? Options · View
Jason2013
Posted: Tuesday, May 13, 2014 9:25:28 AM

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Location: United Kingdom
My girlfriend is very easy-going when it comes to how guys touch her when she is in a nightclub, and will let them touch her however they want, the more forward and confident the better in her mind, as long as she is somewhat attracted to the guy. Even under her skirts and dresses and inside her underwear.

I was curious how some of you other girls feel about it. How do you girls feel about strangers you meet in clubs and bars touching you up and feeling your body? And how far do you let them go?
1LovelyKinkyKitsune
Posted: Tuesday, May 13, 2014 8:22:16 PM

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Answer: Not so good.


I looked fully grown when I was *edited by moderator*. Me and my girlfriends would sneak into the hot spot clubs since that early age. We also had a minor's bar/club we had permission to go to with no alcohol but adults could come too and BYOB. I have been hit on, touched, groped, and "man-handled" since an early age. Even though I do not drink or frequent those types of places anymore, it still occassionally happens at some random moment and luckly I usually catch it before it goes too far.

More often than not it is "iffy" and not good. This is why I often went out with guy friends when I was alone (one reason). Added protection was always nice (plus I made a good wingman - besides just actually, truly, enjoying each other's company).

Being quiet, soft-voiced, polite, and single, (when I was not dating exclusive), it might be flattering and/or I could blow it off if it was nothing more than a minor infraction... like a bestfriend's drunk friend who seemed harmless -was the last person... before that it was a tipsy man at Starbucks... and another time out dancing, but I can usually handle it without a scene or anything messy. I can usually joke and be polite... but the touching is still UNwanted. It can even be scary or just a surprise. (Memories of the Obake Yashiki/scary haunted houses/seasonal costumes and not being able to see their face was actually kind of a turn on... even since a young age... but I digress). >///<

It isn't "hot" to me for some stranger who might not be my type anyway/"just anyone" - because I don't find "just anyone" attractive or arousing like maybe some people might. The act itself is usually crass, and often because they are drunk. Honestly, maybe they are a real undesirable person (?) What IS sexy is mutual tension, the intentional emotion, the rapport, the chemistry and other things that begin to get my temperature rising... it isn't a 'given' - someone just misreads and thinks they "can"-like with the pervert on the bullet train, that is usually the case, or the touchy-feely doctor, or the drunk friend of a friend she wanted me to meet because she had a crush on his friend in HS and he grabs my boobs just because he thought that conservative turtle neck sweater made my breasts look big and begging! What the hey! No.

I have fantasized about that heated dance with someone I "wanted" and that being a mutual spark and desire... "Fantasy." Fantasy is great. Reality is usually quite different. Some slobbering fresh guy grabbing my butt or trying to to get fingers into my under garments will not be taken lightly, that is NOT the fantasy guy, though as my friends know me, I am one of the most polite people when it comes to "trying" situations (unless it comes to bad drivers, lol, and ones who nearly kill me or someone!) No, no, no -they do not have cart blanc or permission and should not just think they can. It may be sexy to try and all that, but not everyone thinks so -I see that as a BAD way to weed them out when you could get punched. It isn't sexy if they are NOT sexy, or if I do not want that! My boyfriend would not be impressed or my boyfriend for long if I allowed that kind of thing, and no, he would not like that at all. He would want to punch some guy and that could get ugly.

If someone is going to to grope me and feel me in a club or similar atmosphere~ it would be my bf and we may or may not pretend and play a little game, but it is not disrespectful to him or to me and no one else needs to join in or think they automatically "can."

Really not cool.



Jason2013
Posted: Tuesday, May 13, 2014 9:23:28 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 3/5/2013
Posts: 29
Location: United Kingdom
Thanks for the extensive reply. I got a good insight into your perspective from it. I can see why from your point of view, some random guy touching you would be unappealing. Guess it's a turn on for some and not for others.
Katje
Posted: Wednesday, May 14, 2014 12:04:44 AM

Rank: Story Verifier

Joined: 2/17/2013
Posts: 1,484
Location: A state of Confusion, United States
I have a few friends who can grope up on me without me or my boyfriend caring, but overall, my answer would be a resounding NO.

For one, it just smacks of creep. Granted, yes, a lot of the women who go to clubs are looking for some action, but not ALL. Some women (like myself and a small group of close friends I'll hit the bar with) just go there to unwind and relax, maybe have a few drinks (too many) and dance.

I had a guy come up while me and a girl friend were dancing at the bar, waiting on the drinks we'd ordered: it was a hip-hop song, so we were grinding and such, and I could hear him lick his lips. He said "Damn, what a fine phat ass" and as soon as I felt his bodyheat, I straightened and stopped dancing, making my disinterest in his attention clear. An hour later, his buddy decided to get brave and SMACKED my ASS. He didn't even say hello, just smacked and groped it. He very nearly got his fingers broken, if my girl hadn't pulled me back.

It's rude and disrespectful, in my opinion. It's one thing if you've got permission, or it's "your" girl. But to maul a stranger in public, just because she's dancing near/with you? Ugh. Not to mention the relationship issues it could cause.

With my select friends, my guy doesn't really care, because he knows the guys aren't serious: they're just being their normal, pervy selves. They're harmless. They also don't mean their friendly gropes to be rude, it's just playful fun. And I've never taken their antics seriously. Hell, my roommate and a couple of our other girl friends have been known to get up and do a group grind dance together. It gets our guys hot, and we also intervene as soon as anyone comes up that we aren't interested in.

Is it a fantasy? Possibly, and one that would be interesting to act out with my boyfriend if we go to a strange bar where no one knows us. But with strangers? Um, no. Just no.



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Jason2013
Posted: Wednesday, May 14, 2014 3:55:55 AM

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Location: United Kingdom
I think I even got creeped out just reading the part about the guy licking his lips behing you, Katje. It's always good to see a secure relationship, where you talk about how your boyfriend is fine about how his friends behave. It is curious to know how far your friends tend to go with you, especially when they've had a little too much to drink and inhabitions go out the window.
Kittypusscat
Posted: Wednesday, May 14, 2014 5:45:24 AM

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Location: United Kingdom
Hate it! The only person to touch me is the man (or woman) I am with!! Had a friend who had been touched up by a guy at a nightclub every time he passed her. She told him to stop frequently and eventually came to sit down. When later she went to the Ladies he assaulted her in the corridor. He said she had enjoyed the attention he gave her and wanted more. Needless to say I don't think he would have been able to perform well after the well-aimed kicking she gave him between the legs! cat

You can stand before me, bare and naked, no nothing, purely you - nothing but all that you are - and you will always see the want in my eyes, always hear the love in my voice, and always feel the need in my touch, no matter what.
HeraTeleia
Posted: Wednesday, May 14, 2014 5:59:27 AM

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The only thing someone who decides to randomly feel me up in a bar is going to feel is the distinct heft of my Glock 26 in her FlashBang bra holster. The one guy who had this experience, backed away veeerrry slowly.

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malebox
Posted: Wednesday, May 14, 2014 6:33:24 AM

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As long as it is reciprocal I am cool with it.
Ashleyloves269
Posted: Wednesday, May 14, 2014 7:53:45 AM

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Absolutely not
LondonCalling92
Posted: Wednesday, May 14, 2014 8:54:41 AM

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Joined: 5/14/2014
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If I know the guy and if I have a crush on him then it is all good...
Jason2013
Posted: Wednesday, May 14, 2014 10:56:06 AM

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Location: United Kingdom
LondonCalling92 wrote:
If I know the guy and if I have a crush on him then it is all good...


what if you didn't know the guy but when you saw him you had a crush or some attraction?
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, May 14, 2014 6:44:56 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,641
This is not even close to being okay. PSA for guys reading this: never do this.

Ever.
avrgblkgrl
Posted: Wednesday, May 14, 2014 6:54:52 PM

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You don't get to touch this until I tell you that you can touch this. I will slap a fool in a minute. violent3

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asleep
Posted: Wednesday, May 14, 2014 8:43:49 PM

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avrgblkgrl wrote:
You don't get to touch this until I tell you that you can touch this. I will slap a fool in a minute. violent3


GOOD FOR YOU!!

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EwaBeachSlut
Posted: Thursday, May 15, 2014 1:40:04 PM

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Joined: 9/3/2011
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I agree with most of you in most instances.

But at the same time if I have accepted a drink from a strange guy and sent a signal of interest. Or maybe had a few laughs together. I would not object to a bit of exploration at all.

Or maybe we are dancing nice slow intimate dancing and to a point I could feel his hardness and I do not back away makes it just fine. In fact it could be called an invitation

Remember an invitation need not be always verbal.
lilgirl1414
Posted: Thursday, May 15, 2014 3:51:13 PM

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If we've made eye contact, talked, and chemistry is there and he touches me 'up', then yeah it's probably cause I've given him signals to...if it's a guy on the dance floor who just rubs up/feels up/grinds up against me and/or grabs my hips/ass/waist without a word and I haven't even seen his damn face...be prepared for an elbow in the ribs or neck, or worse a fist thrown in the crotchEh?

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~*~*~* Only the one that inflicts pain can take it away~*~*~*
VirginalViet
Posted: Thursday, May 15, 2014 11:39:19 PM

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Well I have pretty stern ground rules as far as what guys can do is concerned. I mean it's part of my "good girl" persona haha. If I let random guys grope me on the dance floor my entire image would be blown haha. Generally I don't dance with randoms anyways, so it's not really an issue. However, if I'm attracted to a guy and we know each other and my friends have vetted him....well...some hot dancing is cool. But he needs to be discreet and not too obvious or I'm gonna slap his hand down. I'd really totally blush if everyone saw. Isn't his what bedrooms and dark corners are for hehe?
lindseyaggie
Posted: Friday, May 16, 2014 4:01:18 PM

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Location: Texas, United States
Once I was at a club dancing with a couple of gfs. I was a little drunk and they were playing with me. One was fingering me from behind and the other had my tits out playing with them. I knew I was being watched and it was turning me on. My eyes were closed just enjoying it. The one fingering me stopped and pulled my dress up so everyone could get a good look at my pussy. Then she started fingering me again I opened my eyes and realized she had let a guy take her place. He didn't stop til I came in front of everyone.
That was the first time a random guy fingered me at a club. It's happened a few times since then. I guess I'm a big enough slut to enjoy it.
lindseyaggie
Posted: Friday, May 16, 2014 4:36:57 PM

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Location: Texas, United States
In college I enjoyed going to clubs so crowded that you couldn't really tell who was touching you.

It's been a couple years since anything like that has happened. Don't think I would really like it now.
elicia
Posted: Friday, May 16, 2014 5:37:31 PM

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Location: socal, United States
It would take avrgblkgrl a minute to respond? I've have the world record then if that is the norm. Um...not only no...but, hell no. Totally gross, disrespectful and creepy.
rosesrred
Posted: Friday, May 16, 2014 7:49:20 PM

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They'd pull back a bloody stub! Talk to me, Buy me a drink, Ask for my Number! But DO NOT touch me!
1LovelyKinkyKitsune
Posted: Friday, May 16, 2014 8:05:47 PM

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Joined: 3/5/2014
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Location: ♥
I have known too many guys to get signals wrong, in fact most I ever knew, it seems they are notorious to me, and even without ANY provocation. (I've had fun back in the day on dance floors and stuff too, but too much is too much! Back when I did drink it is a wonder MORE did not happen that was bad- and there was plenty. I was never an exhibitionist. I never felt like I needed to seek any attention. I DID loose myself dancing but that was not "bad" or meant as sexual. Even not drinking and older now not hanging out with those people and types of scenes... things still happen, so "signals" are too easily misinterpreted in my opinion, or they do not need any signal, just a "Hello" or not even that or a smile sometimes - right place wrong time! Whether they think they are God's gift to women or just act on impulse or 'trying'.) I say, they should be careful and proceed with some caution if she lets you know she is interested, test the water first.

Guest
Posted: Saturday, May 17, 2014 1:11:32 AM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,641
I have a few friends who grope me or spank my ass. Honestly, I wouldn't let a stranger grope me out of nowhere. Now if I was dancing and I've had a couple of shots then I'd allow grinding and maybe a little touch but nothing skin to skin.
Dirty_D
Posted: Saturday, May 17, 2014 2:07:07 AM

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Joined: 4/15/2011
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Location: Soaking up the sun, United States
When I've been groped by strangers like this, I find I'm suddenly a very bad dancer. My stilleto heels tend to stomp down on the feet of which ever guy is doing the groping. View my ass like you would my car. Touch by invitation only.


*Im 6' and run regularly. I put those heels to very good use. Gropers typically become hopping-on-one-footers.*

Magical_felix
Posted: Saturday, May 17, 2014 2:50:15 AM

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Posts: 4,902
Location: California
Katje wrote:
I have a few friends who can grope up on me without me or my boyfriend caring


Well shit girl, that state of confusion can't be that far from Cali... Lets get some lambada going on.



Weavindreams
Posted: Saturday, May 17, 2014 4:17:17 AM

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I'm STILL trying to believe somebody asked this? Dude; it's called sexual assault and battery! And, YES , they CAN have you arrested for it! The ones who only want to HURT you, are the NICE ONES! Ever wanted to spend the rest of your life as a known sex criminal? How are you going to like having to register and report to your parole officer? ( Shaking my head as I leave.)

Katje
Posted: Saturday, May 17, 2014 7:09:58 AM

Rank: Story Verifier

Joined: 2/17/2013
Posts: 1,484
Location: A state of Confusion, United States
Magical_felix wrote:


Well shit girl, that state of confusion can't be that far from Cali... Lets get some lambada going on.


LOL I used to live in Cali, actually. I've got my heels and dress ready! ;)

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Jason2013
Posted: Saturday, May 17, 2014 4:43:33 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 3/5/2013
Posts: 29
Location: United Kingdom
It kind of enforces how much of a party slut she is, if the girls with slut as their orientation or in their name won't let a stranger touch them in a club.
blueribbongirl
Posted: Sunday, May 18, 2014 12:27:49 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 9/2/2012
Posts: 19
Location: United States
If I'm into the guy... Yeah sure you can touch me but if I'm not keep your hands off of me.
Martiann
Posted: Sunday, May 18, 2014 1:06:54 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 12/13/2013
Posts: 107
Location: Atlanta, United States
This is definitely not ok!!!
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