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Upon Return, Jesus Taken For Pussy Liberal Options · View
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Posted: Wednesday, November 19, 2008 9:32:12 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,774

Upon Return, Jesus Taken For Pussy Liberal


By Lee Camp

MACON, GA – Jesus Christ made his grand return Friday but apparently has been taken for a "pussy commie liberal" by most of the townspeople he's encountered.
Jesus told reporters that all weekend he wandered around town trying to help those in need of salvation however he was told by countless citizens to "cut [his] f**kin' hair," or "put on some real man's clothes." He was reportedly called everything from a "pinko latte-sipping liberal peace-freak" to a "queer ball-less God-hating elitist fairy."

When Jesus told one man that the man's Hummer was not good for the environment and contributing to war waged for oil, the man accused him of being a troop-hating terrorist. Mary Spurns, 43, claimed Jesus was an illegal immigrant who was trying to take her job. Even though the Lord's child said he had no interest in Spurns' position as a cashier at the Fashion Bug, the woman still alerted the authorities who soon learned Christ had no identification cards and was therefore in the country illegally.


If Jesus does not reveal his country of origin in the coming days, authorities have said he will likely be shipped to Guantanamo Bay with no right to council or habeas corpus. He will be tortured extensively and then shipped to Egypt for more creative forms of torture. Before a black bag was placed over his head, Jesus said, "I kind of wish I had come back in a different country or perhaps a few years in the future. This was a poor choice."http://www.bigfib.com/issue86/world2-en.html
Batman
Posted: Wednesday, November 19, 2008 9:40:53 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/9/2008
Posts: 1,909
1st mistake was going to Macon, GA.
Long hair and those clothes - come on.

2nd was NOT going to FL or CA.
There he may have fit in - like Berkeley.


Sad but true - Chef

Bat
Diffidential
Posted: Thursday, November 20, 2008 11:05:29 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 2/17/2007
Posts: 16
Location: Farmington, United States
I am not a Christian, but this bit of satire shows us just how far from truth and courage many in the U.S. have wandered.
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