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Withholding sex from your partner Options · View
Dancing_Doll
Posted: Friday, July 02, 2010 12:11:35 AM

Rank: Alpha Blonde

Joined: 2/17/2010
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Location: In your dirty fantasies
Have you ever withheld sex as a form of punishing your partner, as a power-play, or in order to get what you want?

Does it work?

For those on the receiving end, does it give you the incentive to cave into your partners demands or apologize faster than you normally would have?


rxtales
Posted: Friday, July 02, 2010 1:54:09 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 11/28/2008
Posts: 2,589
Location: Newcastle, United Kingdom
I would never withhold sex from anyone. I may joke about it from time to time, but really it seems like a completely childish thing to do. You should be able to talk about whatever the issue is and compromise, if you are having to withhold sex then something is wrong with that relationship. Their shouldn't be an issue of "giving into" one's demands.
Jillicious
Posted: Friday, July 02, 2010 9:03:02 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/28/2009
Posts: 1,293
rxtales has got this one right. I think it is selfish to do so. I have also had a few friends who used this tactic and it has made their relationships quite a bit more volatile. It will effect the rest of your relationship and disagreements.

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iceman
Posted: Friday, July 02, 2010 9:23:01 AM

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Joined: 10/30/2009
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Location: Caifornia
I totally agree. Withholding sex is a great way to totally ruin a relationship. I had an ex-wife who would do exactly that..... It's the biggest reason she's an "ex!"

coffee
Pixie
Posted: Friday, July 02, 2010 9:30:54 AM

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I am married so.....hell yes I have done it! And hell yes it works! LOL It may sound mean and cruel, but when you find something that works, you stick with it. LOL
I don't do it to be mean or cruel......I do it to prove a point. And I am sure there are plenty of men out there that have done the same.

♥ Listen, touch, and look around in the air and on the ground. If you watch all nature's things, you might just see a fairy's wings. ♥
LadyX
Posted: Friday, July 02, 2010 10:00:43 AM

Rank: Thread Mediator

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Posts: 4,678
Location: United States
The only times I've withheld sex from a boyfriend, I've done it permanently, not as a weapon- though I wouldn't rule it out!
nivek_88
Posted: Friday, July 02, 2010 11:09:36 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 6/28/2010
Posts: 24
Location: Cleveland
the day you withold sex from your partner, is the day your relationship does downhill. you can still be mad and get some, just focus the fustration on something else, like sleeping on the couch, special treatment, or no dinner. no sex hurts both people.

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Dancing_Doll
Posted: Saturday, July 03, 2010 8:08:31 AM

Rank: Alpha Blonde

Joined: 2/17/2010
Posts: 5,991
Location: In your dirty fantasies
I have a friend that swears by this tact as a way to get her husband to do what she wants...

I've never done it and don't agree with it at all. It would be like punishing myself to have to say 'no' to sex.

Besides, after a heated argument, angry sex can be hot!


tommie
Posted: Saturday, July 03, 2010 8:46:47 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 12/10/2009
Posts: 549
Location: Somewhere, Germany
Dancing_Doll wrote:
I have a friend that swears by this tact as a way to get her husband to do what she wants...


If you have to resort to that kind of tactics to get your husband to do what you want, then there's something wrong with the relationship anyway. Where does it stop with the demands before getting sex?
For me, I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone who does that. I think it would only drive me away from that person.

Oh, and can we start a heated argument? ;)
Guest
Posted: Saturday, July 03, 2010 10:30:09 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 473,808
tommie wrote:
Dancing_Doll wrote:
I have a friend that swears by this tact as a way to get her husband to do what she wants...


If you have to resort to that kind of tactics to get your husband to do what you want, then there's something wrong with the relationship anyway. Where does it stop with the demands before getting sex?
For me, I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone who does that. I think it would only drive me away from that person.

Oh, and can we start a heated argument? ;)


oh i would soooo start one! but i agree with you! Dammit! ;)
Guest
Posted: Saturday, July 03, 2010 1:26:27 PM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 473,808
Anyone withholding it to get what they want is into control. Count me out of anything to do with her.

If two people can't enjoy it and be honest with each other in the first place, well...
Guest
Posted: Sunday, July 04, 2010 6:25:25 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 473,808
I had an old GF tell me one time, "If you don't do what I want, then I'll deny you sex" (she actually spoke like that). I told her "Don't flatter yourself honey, It ain't that good!"

Hence, OLD GF.

My wife would never do anything like that to me, which is one of the reasons we are so happy...
Guest
Posted: Sunday, July 04, 2010 1:03:24 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 473,808
LadyX wrote:
The only times I've withheld sex from a boyfriend, I've done it permanently, not as a weapon- though I wouldn't rule it out!



I agree with LadyX here. When I have withheld sex - it means he is either NOW my ex or I've deleted him.

[sidebar - Gosh, I love that delete button on cell phones - no one remembers phone numbers anymore - so it works GREAT!!]

Van
Bunny12
Posted: Sunday, July 04, 2010 1:05:20 PM

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Location: My own little world, United States
I think doing that is a fucked up mean self esteem killer. Much more fun to bribe them with sexual favors! Couldn't do that anyway I can't hold out that long! LOL

Bunny12


Bunny Rabbits cute and fuzzy they want to love you but they have razor sharp teeth - don't piss them off!
Guest
Posted: Sunday, July 04, 2010 2:21:26 PM

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Posts: 473,808
dancenude This falls into the category as something I have never done and not likely to try.

-MV
Guest
Posted: Sunday, July 04, 2010 3:58:46 PM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 473,808
Master_Vyle wrote:
dancenude This falls into the category as something I have never done and not likely to try.

-MV


I agree. Sounds immature to me.
mercianknight
Posted: Monday, July 05, 2010 10:25:09 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/11/2009
Posts: 2,029
Location: whispering conspiratorially in your ear, Bermuda
Yeah, definitely immature to with-hold sex. Especially since it did not work anywhere near as effectively for me as it did when my wife did it. So unfair! crybaby

"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element

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Guest
Posted: Wednesday, July 07, 2010 4:42:50 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 473,808
have been turned on throughout day by hub with phone calls touching and stuff been made to wait heightens orgasm for me but have always got it in the end
MeganC
Posted: Saturday, July 10, 2010 11:27:42 AM

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Joined: 7/5/2010
Posts: 9
Location: USA
I don't do this. Mostly my husband is really awesome with me so I would not do this anyway but even when I am not happy with him I just go along and make him happy.
She
Posted: Saturday, July 10, 2010 11:09:09 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/24/2010
Posts: 2,052
Location: Europe
I have never done it..

If I would start playing like this with my man it would ment only one thing and that is we couldn't comunicate it through the problem and when in my 'relationships' is no good comunications there is no conection and consequently no good sex.
And I am always for no sex than for lousy one, lol. So, I would rather break up with the guy than play games that are no good for me, nor for him.
DonAbdul
Posted: Sunday, July 18, 2010 3:10:34 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 9/18/2009
Posts: 65
Location: PHC
I wouldn't ever consider it... unless I'm done with that relationship for good. It is spiteful, hurtful and simply inhumane. That's however just my point of view.

Life is too short to waste it on drama. Have fun while you still can.
Guest
Posted: Sunday, July 18, 2010 6:34:08 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
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If withholding sex gets you what you want I must be the most uninformed woman on this site.

I have always thought I could Fuck (excuse the crude term, but sometimes it just fits as the right word) my way into any thing I want. This is not true???? angry9

Dancing Doll, I maybe the older sister but if you know some secrets I do not you should be sharing
Guest
Posted: Sunday, July 18, 2010 6:48:41 PM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
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NEVER!!! I see it as an immature way to escape a relationship that he/she obviously is not mature enough to be in in the first place. 588-rolleyes
JGodess
Posted: Sunday, July 18, 2010 7:02:43 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 8/8/2009
Posts: 47
Location: Ontario, Canada
Agree with the whoel immature thing, I've had it held over me and it was definitely and immature guy in so many ways
been
Posted: Sunday, July 18, 2010 9:49:19 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 5/14/2010
Posts: 10
Location: United States
I've tried this once yet I couldn't follow thru with it. It lasted for all of about the time it took him to throw me over his shoulder, pack me to the bedroom and toss me on the bed. Needless to say we've turned it into a game. I threaten to "cut him off" and he immediately calls my bluff. We've used it many times when we've had company. Acting pissed off declaring he's cut off and storm out of the room. No one questions him following me into the bedroom because he's "in trouble". Those quickies are just a promise for a night of intense sex when everyone leaves. So in my case my boyfriend loves when I withhold sex frm him.

[b]"We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others that in the end we become disguised to ourselves." -François de la Rochefoucauld
castlequeen
Posted: Wednesday, July 21, 2010 3:32:20 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/24/2009
Posts: 590
Never withheld sex from any guy as a power play, or a punishment, however certain things may be offered as an inducement or refused as a punishment, but not sex in general...:-)

"A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere." - Groucho Marx
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, July 21, 2010 3:41:45 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 473,808
I would have to say this is why I'm divorced. My ex-wife did that with me and I fell for it for awhile but then it got old and things fell apart from there. She was a bitch in a lot of ways, this being one of the worst, but I have to say I would do it all again (with the same results) just to have my son. He's a great kid and is worth all the emotional pain I went through.
Guest
Posted: Sunday, July 25, 2010 3:40:13 PM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 473,808
my girlfriend does it everytime wen fallout. she once with hel sex for a months.
SweetPenny
Posted: Thursday, July 29, 2010 3:34:30 PM

Rank: Moderator

Joined: 6/15/2010
Posts: 1,271
Location: State of Confusion
I would never deliberately withhold sex from my husband. But if he pisses me off, then I usually don't feel like having sex with him until we've resolved our issue. But since I'm the hornier one in our relationship, that usually takes about an hour or two tops.
Guest
Posted: Monday, August 02, 2010 4:05:40 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 473,808
With holding sex from the one you love is just wrong...it can lead to bigger problems....and if you are sick and really not in the mood then make it up to your loved one at a later time
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