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Asking a man money would be a turn off? Options · View
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, September 07, 2010 3:32:20 AM

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He just gave you the money, asked no questions, didnt ask you aything in return, in a very casual way.

Would it make you feel so uncomfortable? This "I owe him" feeling?
MMonroe
Posted: Tuesday, September 07, 2010 4:32:27 AM

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Location: United Kingdom
Yea kind of, but i always feel guilty when people give me money, parents, friends, anyone.

When i'm with a guy i always offer to pay half or buy the next round. I am an old fashioned romantic but when it comes to money i think the cost should be split........ Or i'll just make it up to him later on



*Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable?*



Nikki703
Posted: Tuesday, September 07, 2010 7:07:19 AM

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I would never ask a man(or woman) for money and I would not accept money if he offered. It is a big turn off. Paying for dinner or drinks is one thing, although I believe in paying sometimes too. But giving me money is something totally different. There is always a reason for it even if it doesn't seem apparent. I am not a prostitute! Although it does make a hot fantasy. And I don't like to "owe" anything to anyone.
LadyX
Posted: Tuesday, September 07, 2010 8:32:25 AM

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I'm not yet clear on this- am I asking him for money or is he just giving it to me out of nowhere?

If I'm asking him for a loan, then yes, I'll obviously feel that I need to pay the money back. But if he's paying me for something he got in return, or if it's just a gift, then I feel no guilt or need to pay him back.
SweetPenny
Posted: Tuesday, September 07, 2010 9:48:27 AM

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Why is he giving me money?
sprite
Posted: Tuesday, September 07, 2010 9:54:05 AM

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Location: My Tower, United States
and how much is it? if it's a small amount, then really, it's a gift. and yeah, why is he givig it to me? and what is my relationship with him? too many intangibles to answer this one.

http://www.lushstories.com/stories/hardcore/west-coast-games-part-one-the-beach.aspx
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, September 07, 2010 10:07:02 AM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,966
Gen reply: I did not want to focus on any any specific scenario, it's just the idea of some guy giving you money. Perhaps you asked him because you were desperate, or it was him the one who offered it, perhaps it was just a whim, perhaps it was a lot of money, or very little, etc.


Just the thought of some guy giving you money would ruin any possible romance?
LadyX
Posted: Tuesday, September 07, 2010 10:08:57 AM

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Joined: 9/25/2009
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javier wrote:

Just the thought of some guy giving you money would ruin any possible romance?


generally, no it wouldn't. Arguably, it helps.
sprite
Posted: Tuesday, September 07, 2010 10:11:45 AM

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i wouldn't normally have an issue with it. in fact, depending on the circumstances, i'd be apreciative, like if i had just ordered lunch and found myself a few dollars short or something and some guy helped out. in some cases, it would be a really sweet gesture. :)

http://www.lushstories.com/stories/hardcore/west-coast-games-part-one-the-beach.aspx
SweetPenny
Posted: Tuesday, September 07, 2010 10:29:10 AM

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Location: State of Confusion
It would really depend on the situation.

If it was a gift/help from a guy who I cared for, then I think that would be okay.

If I had just had sex with a guy, and he left money on the dresser for me, that would not be okay.
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, September 07, 2010 10:46:02 AM

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SweetPenny wrote:
It would really depend on the situation.

If it was a gift/help from a guy who I cared for, then I think that would be okay.

If I had just had sex with a guy, and he left money on the dresser for me, that would not be okay.


Oh sweetness, it would be a sign of appreciation and should be accepted in the same light. This is certainly true, if it was just casual encounter that is not likely to re-occur.

Some may argue that I am not that kind of girl, but if you are picked up in a bar or some other meeting place, are you sure you are not that kind of girl?

If it was a relationship and he wanted to help you would that be so bad?
redhotmommacita
Posted: Tuesday, September 07, 2010 12:31:34 PM

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Location: In my own little world., United States
But shouldn't a lover take care of his love toy? if he knows she is his love toy and that she is going through some rough times then he should always give her money and he should also buy her gifts too she deserves it. I just think that is the guys thing to give and provide for the one he loves and makes love with.

Now a woman should never have to ask for money her lover should know her needs. and take care of her.. because she takes care of his needs.

Just my oppinion....Mamilove7



Behind every strong soldier there is even a stronger woman who raised him " Proud Army Mom"


Catnip
Posted: Tuesday, September 07, 2010 12:49:50 PM

Rank: Internet Sensation

Joined: 3/30/2009
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Location: Cloudy dreams., Sweden
Is it my birthday?
Woooohooo! No guilt, no turn on, no turn off.
Maybe I lent him money when I was 5 and now he wants to pay me back!
Wohoooo! yay a dollar grows so much!
Did I maybe find his wallet on the street and gave it to him?
More over is he a stranger?
Do I know him?
Does he give me the same amount each month?
Is it ok to buy lingerie for it to show another man??
IF I knew the guy I'd probably know how I'd react though, it would never be a turn on.
It might be a turn off but never a turn on.

belle02026
Posted: Tuesday, September 07, 2010 1:39:01 PM

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Joined: 7/8/2010
Posts: 38
I would absolutely not accept a man just giving me money. It makes me feel uncomfortable to accept money from people in general.
Culturally I am in the minority. It is acceptable and often expected for a man to randomly give a woman money just because she has needs and he is her man. To me that's part of the Latina subserviant world that I don't agree with but that's a different story.
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, September 08, 2010 3:36:46 AM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,966
belle02026 wrote:
I would absolutely not accept a man just giving me money. It makes me feel uncomfortable to accept money from people in general.
Culturally I am in the minority. It is acceptable and often expected for a man to randomly give a woman money just because she has needs and he is her man. To me that's part of the Latina subserviant world that I don't agree with but that's a different story.




Okay then, if we meet in Ecuador, I'll let you invite me for a few drinks. And what the hell, something to eat too...and then a movie and some soccer match, dont worry, I dont like fancy meals.
belle02026
Posted: Wednesday, September 08, 2010 7:53:15 PM

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javier wrote:
belle02026 wrote:
I would absolutely not accept a man just giving me money. It makes me feel uncomfortable to accept money from people in general.
Culturally I am in the minority. It is acceptable and often expected for a man to randomly give a woman money just because she has needs and he is her man. To me that's part of the Latina subserviant world that I don't agree with but that's a different story.




Okay then, if we meet in Ecuador, I'll let you invite me for a few drinks. And what the hell, something to eat too...and then a movie and some soccer match, dont worry, I dont like fancy meals.


Funny, you are.

I see nothing wrong with a woman paying for a date or even splitting the cost. What I see a problem with is our culture's machistas feeling a sense of ownership over a woman whom they randomly give money to. Which is what this thread was about, right?
been
Posted: Wednesday, September 08, 2010 11:02:05 PM

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I cringe at the thought of a man giving me money. I'm grown able to work and I can pay my way or if I can't I won't go simple as that. More than likely this comes from being raised by a single mother w/o the help of mine or my sisters father. My mother always reminded us that a woman does not need a man to survive and can do anything that they set thier mind to. Even in the work place.

[b]"We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others that in the end we become disguised to ourselves." -François de la Rochefoucauld
Guest
Posted: Thursday, September 09, 2010 5:31:31 AM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,966
belle02026 wrote:
I see nothing wrong with a woman paying for a date or even splitting the cost. What I see a problem with is our culture's machistas feeling a sense of ownership over a woman whom they randomly give money to. Which is what this thread was about, right?



You are right, we should split costs, I dont want you to think I am cheeky.
Dancing_Doll
Posted: Thursday, September 09, 2010 9:10:33 AM

Rank: Alpha Blonde

Joined: 2/17/2010
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Location: West Coast
javier wrote:
He just gave you the money, asked no questions, didnt ask you aything in return, in a very casual way.

Would it make you feel so uncomfortable? This "I owe him" feeling?


If we are in a relationship, and I needed financial help, then I'd feel comfortable accepting money from him. Same as he should feel comfortable if I helped him out. But that assumes a relationship already exists (both physical and emotional).

If it was a "platonic" association with a guy, and he randomly wanted to give (or loan) me money, I'd have to assess what his motives were. If he was a long-time friend, then I'd probably be fine with it. If I suspected he had feelings for me, or sexual interest, then I would not feel comfortable, because I wouldn't want to feel like I "owe" him something.

I know friends that have loaned or given money to other friends (even females giving money to their female friends). Sometimes there is implicit payback assumed... whether it's a sexual/romantic thing, or just feeling obligated to hang out with or spend more time with that person. I prefer to avoid those situations. I've seen things blow up too many times.

Usually one person gives money to another to help them out... then make demands... and when those demands are not fulfilled, then the person claims the money was a loan and starts to demand payment back.

Nobody gives something for nothing (there are always subtle implications involved).


Woman
Posted: Thursday, September 09, 2010 4:30:56 PM

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Location: Stopping the war 'tween Harold and Kumar
If I am in a relationship with the man.... nope. I'd go buy something special for him to take off me later on. Or buy a new toy. Yes. New toy!!!!!!

If I am not in a relationship with the man? And he just handed me money willy nilly? I'd look at it and say, "That's it?????" Maybe I might be able to get more from the idiot then go on vacation.

Living life and enjoying life are two different things... just need to figure out how to do both at the same time to live it right!

Woman... GO FLY A KITE!!!!! Take a slideshow walk with me on a walk through the parks of Inner Mongolia, China. Then enjoy the tale of a very traditional day in the life of a white Woman in China.
castlequeen
Posted: Thursday, September 09, 2010 10:39:38 PM

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Joined: 4/24/2009
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Hubby usually gives me money when we play "Hooker and the John". I keep it though...:-)

"A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere." - Groucho Marx
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