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WellMadeMale
Posted: Wednesday, July 21, 2010 11:37:20 AM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,276
Location: Cakeland, United States
One person's observation - from June 2002.

56 reviews for AFF - it runs about 90% thumbs down. I wonder why that is...I never sexperienced the levels of hatred that these people are indicating they have for that site.

Could it be that some of our expectations exceed reality?

If ya can't beat 'em... pay someone to do it for you.
Dancing_Doll
Posted: Wednesday, July 21, 2010 12:49:23 PM

Rank: Alpha Blonde

Joined: 2/17/2010
Posts: 6,223
Location: West Coast
WellMadeMale wrote:
One person's observation - from June 2002.

56 reviews for AFF - it runs about 90% thumbs down. I wonder why that is...I never sexperienced the levels of hatred that these people are indicating they have for that site.

Could it be that some of our expectations exceed reality?


It's always going to be harder for a guy to connect with the kind of girl he's probably hoping for on a site like that... as one of the comments stated, there are 900,000 men registered on that site, with only 90,000 women... those aren't very good odds. When you figure some of those females might be webcam girls or other sex industry girls looking to build their clientele base, you have to wade through a lot of profiles as a guy to find a genuinely decent horny little slut who is game to meet up! icon_smile

Women can go into any bar and just find a guy to hook up with if it's just about sex, so they are probably less inclined to look on the internet.

I think the same sex connections on AFF are probably a lot more successful since if you're bi-curious or secretly-bisexual, you're more likely to want to find a more discreet way of finding like-minded people.


Guest
Posted: Wednesday, July 21, 2010 10:32:11 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 530,456
I know many of you kids do not have the time to search for a relationship as it was done in the past generations. But online dating can open a lot of doors, you just need to be very cautious of what is behind the door.

People that I have met on Lush that seem nice and someone you may want to know better, if they are users of either the chat room or especially the forum it will reveal a lot about themselves. If you meet someone of interest read what he/she writes, I think it will point you in the right direction.

First meeting should be in a very public place, not dinner, not drinks, but maybe just coffee, maybe the second time also.

If he/she wants to move faster than that you are provided a whole portfolio of information to make your decision on.

This is coming form a woman who has been married to the same man for many years, but has had many other relationships too. I read people very well on a one on one basis, a get paid well to do the same in my profession.
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, July 21, 2010 11:35:37 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 530,456
Hmmmm i guess this is kinda what im doing, met my bf online and we are in a long distance relationship so we rely on the internet
sheepdogls
Posted: Tuesday, August 31, 2010 2:27:28 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 8/24/2009
Posts: 53
Location: Texas, United States
I personally can't say anything bad about it. I met a girl online and dated her for 14 months after meeting her in person. We had a beautiful relationship but I just wasn't ready to go the extra step for marriage and screwed it up. But it can be a scary thing. There are some freaks out there!
Phantomrose
Posted: Tuesday, August 31, 2010 5:03:29 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 8/30/2010
Posts: 72
Location: Monroe County, United States
Believe that online dating can be a good way to meet people. It just opens a new door to wider possibilities. I don't believe there is anything wrong with it. It's just another form of finding a potential mate. My friend has met her most recent boyfriend online and found out that he goes to a college close to hers. They met and I can say that she is a happy person. I also met my boyfriend online. We have been doing long distance for about three years now. When we met, we instantly clicked.

When a person decides to get involved in an online/long distance relationship, it is important to remember to have as much communication and honesty as possible. Webcams, skype, any form of instant messaging program, email, etc really help as well.
Woman
Posted: Wednesday, September 01, 2010 1:19:56 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/21/2009
Posts: 674
Location: Stopping the war 'tween Harold and Kumar
I met a boy in high school.
We didn't hit it off then.
He was WAY too intense.
And I enjoy laughing too much.
We stayed friends.
I moved to China.
We lost touch. (curse you Great Firewall of China!!!!)
Again, we met up online.
Chatted for ages.
So I went to visit.
Had a fabulous time.
Short choppy sentences... such fun!!!

Seriously... online dating? Whatever. It doesn't really matter where you meet a person, how you meet a person, where a person comes from. All that matters is that you compliment the other (and not just oh wow! You cut your hair! How nice! but the I mean your strengths and weakness, beleifs etc... compliment the other) and you hit it off.

Online dating is grand fun. It is a meeting of the minds, a place where you really must communicate with your partner and voice your thoughts and opinions. It gives you the courage to be you without societies sillyness. And when you meet? All the more fun.

I've met a quite a few people from online, as friends, and I've always had a blast and enjoyed myself. Even with my online friends, meeting them in real life was nerve racking for me. And the hardest part of it all, was remembering we were face to face and I did not have to type.

Living life and enjoying life are two different things... just need to figure out how to do both at the same time to live it right!

Woman... GO FLY A KITE!!!!! Take a slideshow walk with me on a walk through the parks of Inner Mongolia, China. Then enjoy the tale of a very traditional day in the life of a white Woman in China.
baddboy169
Posted: Wednesday, September 01, 2010 8:40:39 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 6/25/2010
Posts: 16
Location: North carolina
I agree with most, that it does not matter where you meet some one, it is who you meet. A person can pretend to be anyone they want to in real life or over the internet. With the internet, unless you cam with someone, you have to take there word on what they look like. And yes they can send you a picture of there self or anyone else and claim to be them. So that is the only part that makes it different. I met my wife on line and we have been happily married for 5 years now, And we met an a swingers site.
rxtales
Posted: Thursday, September 02, 2010 11:19:34 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 11/28/2008
Posts: 2,589
Location: Newcastle, United Kingdom
Both of my parents have met partners from online. My dad chatted to someone with months before going to Russia for a month to meet her. They both came back to England and their relationship lasted over a year. I was pretty young so don't remember what eventually went wrong.

My mum met her current husband off the internet, but I don't think they chatted before they met (some sort of match making thing?). I wasn't really told the details. They started dating six years ago, and have been married for three. I think their relationship is one that will last.
inepa
Posted: Friday, September 03, 2010 12:10:17 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/18/2010
Posts: 139
Location: Alotau
I do not know why but am sort of scared to try it.....WHR43 you are incredible and I am trying to guess what you have about me so far ;)
Phantomrose
Posted: Saturday, September 04, 2010 11:56:17 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 8/30/2010
Posts: 72
Location: Monroe County, United States
inepa wrote:
I do not know why but am sort of scared to try it.....WHR43 you are incredible and I am trying to guess what you have about me so far ;)


Don't be scared to try it. It can be a little like dating in real life, only, you're stuck behind a computer. It is also a good opportunity to make friends.
NoahBody
Posted: Sunday, September 12, 2010 7:33:37 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 7/19/2010
Posts: 73
Location: The hills of TN
I actually met my wife compliments of Match.com...we've been happily married the past five and a half years. It's a double edged sword. I've met some real losers, but then again I met the first woman who had to "prove" to me that some women swallowed (and that was our first date) LOL. My only advice would be male or female always meet in a public place until you are comfortable with one another, and if it doesn't work out, don't pursue it. Everybody has their own taste.
rhapsody181
Posted: Thursday, October 28, 2010 10:41:29 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 7/12/2009
Posts: 205
Location: where you wish you were
I met my husband online. Ages ago we both frequented an adult board for webmasters called GFY. Mine was a woman's erotica site. His was a site devoted to redheads. After finding we lived in the same state and had mutual friends in the business both online and in real life, we decided it was meant to be and started dating. I seriously doubt I could have met someone with such shared interests in the real world as easily.


amor est spiritus qui nos alet
love is the breath that sustains us
Guest
Posted: Friday, November 05, 2010 10:52:34 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 530,456
Online dating has made finding the "right one" easier. It cuts out the bar scene, and the dreadful blind date. If the people are honest it is a good thing. The only catch is not every one is honest.
Guest
Posted: Saturday, November 06, 2010 8:56:48 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 530,456
It can't work. I would never meet someone in real life that I had met first on a website. And if I did, there is no way I would end up spending hours playing with her, and not wanting her to ever leave. Plus, even if that ever happened, I'm 100% sure that she couldn't also turn out to be an interesting person that I enjoy talking to and being around even when we're not playing. And actually starting to like her and care for her? Are you nuts? That's just a fairy tale that would never happen in real life.
SweetPenny
Posted: Saturday, November 06, 2010 10:24:32 PM

Rank: Moderator

Joined: 6/15/2010
Posts: 1,271
Location: State of Confusion
love7
Guest
Posted: Saturday, November 13, 2010 12:26:19 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 530,456
I met my partner from an online dating site. We both work unsociable hours and were both single for a while. I think it's great because you get to know someone as a person first. Go to proper sites, not seedy ones, be honest and enjoy it.

I haven't felt there is a stigma against it from people I've told.
mestophils
Posted: Thursday, December 02, 2010 1:27:53 PM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 12/2/2010
Posts: 5
Location: ?im just some where surviving
i didn't try to i'm thinking that the internet is my free world some where not related to my daily life meeting friends ok but for sex !!! or serious stuff naaa!!
Hotman33
Posted: Thursday, December 02, 2010 1:59:55 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 11/26/2010
Posts: 12
Dancing_Doll wrote:
I had the scariest first experience ever...

I met a guy from online several years ago. Although I wanted it to be very casual and just a quick drink after class (I was a student at the time), he ended up bringing 3 dozen yellow roses for me when we met at the pub. I know sweet, right? But a little overwhelming for a casual beer and a first meeting!

I realized there was no chemistry and when he called the next day, I just said that I was happy to have met him, but not interested in anything serious. He seemed to take it well (at the time).

Then, he proceeded to hack into my email account, and start writing me scary, threatening emails as a fictitious persona he created for himself where he claimed he was a "nefarious criminal", had committed "war crimes", was a private investigator, an international spy, and a skilled 'tracker'.... Not even kidding. Then he proceeded to stalk me in real life and let me know what I was wearing when I walked to school on certain days and assured me that he could find me if he wanted to.

One day, he confessed who he really was and threatened to kill himself if I didn't agree to a relationship with him.

Hmmm.. sounds super-fun doesn't it?!

Anyways, to make a long story short, I have no idea what really happened to him... after 6 months of stalking, he just 'disappeared' suddenly. Whether he actually carried out his threat, I still don't know.

After this first and only experience, I stopped meeting men from online.. LOL

However... i did end up meeting two girls from online... Both were wonderful people. I ended up traveling briefly with one girl, and with the other, we became "close enough" that I even attended her wedding...

Sooo... I guess everyone's experiences can be different.

With all the popularity of the internet dating sites these days, it has to be working well for a lot people out there!



ur first time was really bad experience, but i found some hot girls from other countries, we have fun and chat about dirty things :) , maybe its not good idea for real friendship
Dancing_Doll
Posted: Thursday, December 02, 2010 2:52:01 PM

Rank: Alpha Blonde

Joined: 2/17/2010
Posts: 6,223
Location: West Coast
Hotman33 wrote:
Dancing_Doll wrote:
I had the scariest first experience ever...

I met a guy from online several years ago. Although I wanted it to be very casual and just a quick drink after class (I was a student at the time), he ended up bringing 3 dozen yellow roses for me when we met at the pub. I know sweet, right? But a little overwhelming for a casual beer and a first meeting!

I realized there was no chemistry and when he called the next day, I just said that I was happy to have met him, but not interested in anything serious. He seemed to take it well (at the time).

Then, he proceeded to hack into my email account, and start writing me scary, threatening emails as a fictitious persona he created for himself where he claimed he was a "nefarious criminal", had committed "war crimes", was a private investigator, an international spy, and a skilled 'tracker'.... Not even kidding. Then he proceeded to stalk me in real life and let me know what I was wearing when I walked to school on certain days and assured me that he could find me if he wanted to.

One day, he confessed who he really was and threatened to kill himself if I didn't agree to a relationship with him.

Hmmm.. sounds super-fun doesn't it?!

Anyways, to make a long story short, I have no idea what really happened to him... after 6 months of stalking, he just 'disappeared' suddenly. Whether he actually carried out his threat, I still don't know.

After this first and only experience, I stopped meeting men from online.. LOL

However... i did end up meeting two girls from online... Both were wonderful people. I ended up traveling briefly with one girl, and with the other, we became "close enough" that I even attended her wedding...

Sooo... I guess everyone's experiences can be different.

With all the popularity of the internet dating sites these days, it has to be working well for a lot people out there!



ur first time was really bad experience, but i found some hot girls from other countries, we have fun and chat about dirty things :) , maybe its not good idea for real friendship


Haha... Yeah, one thing I've learned is that I don't really take my own advice very well. I guess I have to eat my own words since the time of that original post. I'll revise my opinion on it to say that I wouldn't go specifically looking for it online, but on rare occasion you might meet an exception to the rule that makes you want to take that chance. I think every situation and circumstance is different, and I think it's best to just go with your instincts. You can just as easily meet a psycho or loser in a bar as you can online these days. icon_smile





GemGeekett
Posted: Friday, December 03, 2010 2:34:50 AM

Rank: Story Verifier

Joined: 11/25/2010
Posts: 1,227
Location: A dark, warm and comfortable place, Canada
Just thought I'd throw my two cents in... :)
Internet dating can actually be whatever you want it to be. I met my husband online, but before that, I've met boyfriend and lovers. I just have certain requirements that had to be met: can they write a complete sentence in English with proper spelling? Did they ask for a photo before they even said hello? Do they capture my imagination? I was new in town at that point, and I managed to go on dates - and bed - some interesting people I never would have otherwise met. On the other hand, there were some real duds too (As me about they guy who made me pay at a golden griddle!)
My theory on this was (and is) - how is this any different from picking up a guy at the bar?

WellMadeMale
Posted: Monday, August 01, 2011 8:16:10 AM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,276
Location: Cakeland, United States
Everyone these days seems to have an online-dating story or a friend with online-dating stories. Pervasiveness has helped to chip away at the stigma; people no longer think of online dating as a last resort for desperadoes and creeps. The success story is a standard of the genre. But anyone who has spent a lot of time dating online, and not just dabbling, has his or her share of horror stories, too.

Some research has suggested that it is men, more than women, who yearn for marriage, but this may be merely a case of stated preference. Men want someone who will take care of them, make them look good, and have sex with them—not necessarily in that order. It may be that this is all that women really want, too, but they are better at disguising or obscuring it. They deal in calculus, while men, for the most part, traffic in simple sums.

A common observation, about both the Internet dating world and the world at large, is that there is an apparent surplus of available women, especially in their thirties and beyond, and a shortage of recommendable men. The explanation for this asymmetry, which isn’t exactly news, is that men can and usually do pursue younger women, and that often the men who are single are exactly the ones who prefer them. For women surveying a landscape of banished husbands or perpetual boys, the biological rationale offers little solace. Neither does the Internet.

Demonstrating the ability, and the inclination, to write well is a rough equivalent to showing up in a black Mercedes. And yet a sentiment I heard again and again, from women who instinctively prized nothing so much as a well-written profile, was that, as rare as it may be, “good writing is only a sign of good writing.” Graceful prose does not a gentleman make.

The fact that you can’t get away with lying in your profile for long doesn’t prevent a lot of people from doing it. They post old photographs of themselves, or photos of other people, or click on “athletic” rather than “could lose a few pounds,” or identify themselves as single when they are anything but. Sometimes the man says he’s straight but the profile reads gay. Sometimes he neglects to mention that he is a convicted felon. OK Cupid, in an analysis of its own data, has confirmed what I heard anecdotally: that men exaggerate their income (by twenty per cent) and their height (by two inches), perhaps intuiting that women pay closer attention to these data points than to any others. But women lie about these things, too. A date is an exercise in adjustment.

It is an axiom of Internet dating that everyone allegedly has a sense of humor, even if evidence of it is infrequently on display. You don’t have to prove that you love to curl up with the Sunday Times or take walks on the beach (a very crowded beach, to judge by daters’ profiles), but, if you say you are funny, then you should probably show it.

Demonstrating funniness can be fraught. Irony isn’t for everyone. But everyone isn’t for everyone, either.




If ya can't beat 'em... pay someone to do it for you.
poizenivy
Posted: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 10:57:15 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/5/2011
Posts: 9,099
Location: In a suspended state of permanent horniness, Unite
love8 You have to be really careful but it does work out. I did the onlline dating scene and never had a scary experiance but had a few bad dates. However, I have also made some great friends that I wouldn't have otherwise made....and met my husband.

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer. ~Swami X

Badkevin1966
Posted: Tuesday, August 30, 2011 2:03:55 AM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 8/30/2011
Posts: 1
Well, hello, one and all. I thought I might as well chime in on this for my very first post. I met my late wife in a chat room in 1999, she lived just an hour away from me. We talked for six hours that first night, and got married eight days later.

BTW, as background information, I suffer from anxiety attacks that flare up in social situations like clubs (sigh). We had almost six years together, years I wouldn't trade for anything. I'm still trying to meet someone new, though, six years after losing her so, that just out and out sucks.

Anyhow, that's the short version and I'm glad I found this little corner of the Internet.
mads50
Posted: Tuesday, August 30, 2011 3:41:22 AM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 7/11/2011
Posts: 7
Location: Benoni
I met my lover on the internet. Never looked back.
suezq
Posted: Tuesday, August 30, 2011 4:33:07 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/23/2009
Posts: 285
Location: Pennsylvania
Both of my brothers married women they met online. One was twice divorced and the other widowed at the time they met their current spouse. I do think it can work, and actually isn't any scarier than meeting someone new in the traditional ways.
kochankatulipan
Posted: Tuesday, August 30, 2011 5:31:14 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/11/2011
Posts: 148
As someone who uses online dating in the u.k. I can honestly say that it is a good way to meet new people. Nowadays, with busy lives and a distinct lack of places to meet (have to admit that I'm over 40) it is a lot easier to develop new friendships and relationships online than through traditional means.

There are a lot of pitfalls though. Online dating relies on honesty and many people are less than honest. I myself have been 'approached' by attractive ladies (if the photo is genuine) who have expressed interest in meeting me, but the grammar and tone of their messages, and their insistance on conversing by email has alarm bells ringing straight away. It's usually eastern european women looking for a way out of an improverished life in their own country. And there are many 'players' who use the sites for sex rather than developing a relationship. Once they've had it they move on, leaving a trail of devastation. It is an emotional minefield and many people on the site get so many knockbacks and bad experiences that they end up feeling worthless. And believe me I've been through it all.

So why am I still using them? Well it's like the lottery (don't know if there is a national lottery in your country but there is in the u.k.). You know that the chances of winning are so slim its very unlikely to happen. But you keep doing it because there is always the chance that you may win. I feel constantly annoyed about the fact that the sites make a fortune out of lonely people, many of whom are also in financial difficulty, having come through messy divorces and struggling to make ends meet alone, but without it I would not have had some of the most wonderful moments in my life and made friendships that have become important to me.

Pelicanbill
Posted: Tuesday, August 30, 2011 12:07:55 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/13/2011
Posts: 304
Location: Top Of The South
Am trying the sites, but no luck. Probably because I am an unattractive person, in the fact that I can't get out and do things other people can. This is because I am on oxygen 24/7. That doesn't mean that I can't function or have lost my marbles. It just means I can't leave home very often
scarlettboehm
Posted: Friday, September 02, 2011 5:00:55 AM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 9/2/2011
Posts: 1
Hi I Am Scarlet To Share To Dating Relationship Information.Online dating is very popular in people.Dating is useful to find person for dating.Many People use in online dating sites to Make relationship.
Kornpopper
Posted: Friday, September 02, 2011 7:25:36 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/7/2011
Posts: 108
Location: I am here, You are there!
There are pros and cons to any type of dating but internet dating may have a few more cons since you can't really read the person, only what they type. I have been doing internet dating on and off for a while now with almost no success. I have made a great friend because of it but no more. It probly works better in more populated areas as there are more singles looking, but in rural country the numbers are few and far between as everyone already has someone, at least that's more my problem. Long distance relationships are hard to make work so I tend to look close to home and ther really is no one in my area looking for me. I prefer the quiet peaceful atmosphere of the country whereas most people my age like the city life, that is another issue that makes it hard to find that special someone. I'm not against internet dating but I don't think it will work for me.

Now if you excuse me I am going to quietly sulk in the corner.crybaby

The decisions we make dictate the life we have.
Follow your dreams, for those that do not will only try to discourage others.
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