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How to Make Your Erotic Story More Realistic Options · View
Kat
Posted: Monday, June 16, 2008 9:42:18 PM

Rank: Administration

Joined: 5/10/2007
Posts: 71
I hope you find this article useful. I am doing a series of them icon_smile

As an author of erotica, you are likely quite skilled in creative writing. Crafting stories about romance and sexuality is fun and exciting, and it is easy to become swept up in fantastical scenes and elaborate plotlines. However, some romantic stories are so overly exaggerated that they become hard for readers to believe and follow. By maintaining a careful balance between reality and fantasy, you will enable your audience to become completely immersed in your story, and also leave them wanting more. Here are some basic guidelines to follow so that you can make your story accurate and believable.

1) Know your anatomy. While it is, of course, very important to have good writing skills, those talents will mean nothing if you have no idea what goes where. Ignorance regarding the human body will be glaringly obvious to your audience, especially to female readers. While male sexual anatomy and function is more straightforward, you must remember that female bodies are complex and tend to have a lot going on in one area. Make sure that you know exactly where important parts like the clitoris, vulva, and g-spot are so that you can describe and discuss them accurately. Even female writers can get this kind of information wrong if they aren’t familiar with their own bodies. Consider “boning up” (pun intended) on your anatomy and human sexuality facts before beginning your next story.

2) Figure out what men and women really want in bed. You may think you know what men and women’s favorite sexual moves and positions are, but you have to remember that people often lie in an effort to spare their partner’s feelings, or avoid possible embarrassment about their true desires. For this reason, it is important to do some research about men and women’s true preferences in bed. Try reading some recent sexual studies printed in peer-reviewed medical studies and journals. However, skip the polls printed in lifestyle magazines such as Maxim and Cosmopolitan, as they are conducted informally and thus do not always produce accurate results.

3) Draw from your own experiences. While you do want to add an element of fantasy and mystique to your writing, many erotic authors make the mistake of going too far off the deep end, describing what they think great sex is like, instead of what it is actually like. To keep your feet on the ground, try thinking back to some of your most enjoyable personal sexual experiences and go from there. What was so great about that particular experience? What would have made it better? Adding realistic details and events will help your readers relate to the story.

4) Variety, variety, variety. Too many erotic authors use the same old formula for every scene - a nipple lick here, a thrust there, and everything is over by the end of the next page. Boring! You and I both know that this is not how sex happens in the real world. Truly passionate, loving couples like to spice things up and try new moves every chance they get. Get creative and include a number of different types of foreplay, positions, and seduction tactics. Let your mind wander and have some fun!

5) It’s not all about the dude. A major issue many women have with contemporary erotica is that it often revolves completely around the male experience. Generally, vaginal penetration is staged as the main event in erotic stories, with the woman acting as the passive recipient and having a few orgasms every once in a while. However, studies show that at least 70% of women cannot reach climax from vaginal penetration alone, so that’s obviously not the way things happen in real life. If a woman reads a story about a female who can orgasm at the drop of a hat, it makes her feel inadequate, not aroused. Do the women of the world a favor, and write about the things that actually get them off, like cunnilingus and vibrators.

6) Write in the proper voice. Many erotic stories are written in the third person, meaning they describe the scene from an outsider’s point of view (“He gathered her into his strong, muscular arms, she moaned passionately in his embrace,” etc.). However, if you are narrating from a first person point of view (“I had been lusting after his hard body for weeks”), make it easy on yourself by having the main character be the same gender as you. This may seem like an obvious tip, but with the expansion of the genre into homosexual literature, men sometimes find themselves writing stories about lesbians, and vice versa. Be very careful if you decide to do this, because you are essentially stepping outside of your experiences and attempting to express the sexual desires of a person of the opposite sex. Make sure you are completely accurate in your gendered details and descriptions.

7) Read a ton of erotica. It sounds bad, but good writers can always improve their skills by reading the work of bad writers. Even if you think you already know everything about the genre, your writing style could likely stand to be improved in one way or another. You can think of a bad erotic story as a magnification of your own personal writing weaknesses, or a cautionary example, if you will. As in, “If I keep making grammatical mistakes while writing transsexual erotica, I’m going to eventually end up like this writer (shudder).” Learning from others’ mistakes can also prevent you from making them in the future.

8) Ask your friends to read your work. We admit that this may be an embarrassing request, but it really has the potential to improve the believability of your story. Presumably you have a few friends who are not regular erotica readers, and thus can provide a more objective view of your work. Sending them sections of your story will help you to determine how your story will be received by outsiders to the genre, and asking for their tips can help you appeal to a wider audience. Plus, your friends can let you know if one of your choices phrases is just plain ludicrous and should be eliminated, such as “trouser snake.”
nicola
Posted: Tuesday, June 17, 2008 3:16:35 PM

Rank: Matriarch

Joined: 12/6/2006
Posts: 25,481
Location: The Orgasmatron
Great article Kat, made it into a sticky.

If anyone wants to add anything, feel free coffee
Zafia
Posted: Thursday, July 03, 2008 11:48:03 PM

Rank: Lush Legend

Joined: 4/13/2008
Posts: 5,209
Location: Shoe Heaven
Thanks Kat. Very informative and useful I will keep it in mind. hello1

"Love all, trust a few, and do wrong to none."





ASubtlepassion
Posted: Wednesday, July 09, 2008 8:46:22 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,624
I can only aspire to what Kat has laid down here, but it's hard to concentrate with that pic of hers.

I like to read the stories written by women to get the feel of what a woman needs, desires, and feels in regards to sexual play. It helps me be more realistic, hopefully, and true to their loveliness. If a woman enjoys my stories, I feel as if I was satisfying her in bed. And every guy loves when that happens.

The hardest part for me is to find different descriptive words for the same feelings. I don't like that aspect of my writing, that I use the same phrases over and over again to describe the same thing. I don't want to become tiresome and boring to my audience, even as I write for myself.
Kat
Posted: Friday, July 18, 2008 8:58:44 PM

Rank: Administration

Joined: 5/10/2007
Posts: 71
Why thank you ASubtlePassion.

You make some good points there yourself.
infernum_ex
Posted: Wednesday, September 03, 2008 8:13:11 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 3/14/2008
Posts: 6
This is a great post Kat. I intend to take a lot of this and put it into practice immediately. I'm fairly young, so having advice like this from people who are (obviously) more experienced than me is a huge bonus. Thanks!

Also, in relation to point 8, what kinds of reactions have you guys had when showing your work to your friends? I consider myself to be a very sexual person, and I don't find anything about that or writing these stories the least bit shameful, but honestly the idea of having my friends think I'm hyper-sexual to the point of being 'creepy' or a 'perv' is terrifying.
ASubtlepassion
Posted: Wednesday, September 03, 2008 8:31:41 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,624
Show these to my friend? Yeah, right! lol

My peeps here know more about this side of me than any friend or family member. And it will stay that way--forever.

I'd be ostracized, politicized, criticized, and demonized. I'd be dead in their eyes.
Guest
Posted: Thursday, September 04, 2008 8:36:51 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,624
some friends asp
ASubtlepassion
Posted: Thursday, September 04, 2008 8:46:40 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,624
Ah, Chef! happy8
Zafia
Posted: Thursday, September 04, 2008 10:39:28 AM

Rank: Lush Legend

Joined: 4/13/2008
Posts: 5,209
Location: Shoe Heaven
infernum_ex wrote:
This is a great post Kat. I intend to take a lot of this and put it into practice immediately. I'm fairly young, so having advice like this from people who are (obviously) more experienced than me is a huge bonus. Thanks!

Also, in relation to point 8, what kinds of reactions have you guys had when showing your work to your friends? I consider myself to be a very sexual person, and I don't find anything about that or writing these stories the least bit shameful, but honestly the idea of having my friends think I'm hyper-sexual to the point of being 'creepy' or a 'perv' is terrifying.


I do have one or two friends that have read my stories and I usually get good critics from them. There are times they look at me like....wtf? lol......but I trust them enough to be at least open with them. No judgment there so its good.

"Love all, trust a few, and do wrong to none."





fetishdoll
Posted: Friday, September 05, 2008 3:57:32 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 3/10/2007
Posts: 42
Location: United States
Hi everyone, thanks for some great advice and thanks Kat for starting this off with such a well thought out and insightful post. I would be interested in getting more honest and direct feedback to my stories. I'm always torn between wanting to write a good story and having that high jack-off factor that always results in good ratings. While I struggle and say to myself 'I don't care about ratings' it's always nice to see them shoot up there. Fortunately the things that turn me on seem to turn a fair number of other people on, however I still want to be a better writer and I'm really interested in getting published one day.

So all that said, perhaps we could start a club or group where we request feedback on stories and everyone is free to be as open and honest as possible with a oath of thick skins and non-combat.

What ya think?
urban687
Posted: Friday, September 05, 2008 10:31:20 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,624
Fetish Doll hits on an important point when she suggests more comments on writing and stories. I've been posting stories on LUSH to get just that kind of feed-back without too much success. I've been writing recently sort of a historical novel of my own fairly long term relationship with an old teen age lover with whom I got back together. The history part comes from thumbing through old calender books to see where we were or how we got somewhere during our get-together, professional writing she was doing at the time, and recall of our activities together. The novel part is piecing together our togetherness during those years and how much we enjoyed each other and our sexual unions.

I tried other sites with more fiction at first (Gather.com) that included pictures with the site promising good commentary and eventual online publication but did not deliver. If it requires having a "club" or special group beyond the present commentary space after a story, so be it; but that just adds one more place to have to dig around LUSH to Find.

So, in short, my What ya think to fetishdoll, is by all means!!!
nicola
Posted: Friday, September 05, 2008 3:04:15 PM

Rank: Matriarch

Joined: 12/6/2006
Posts: 25,481
Location: The Orgasmatron
It's a good point you make Fetishdoll, and I tried to incorporate elements of that on the site, with people being able to make comments after the story, or embellish it, or come to the forum and use the "Ask the Author" section, which is what it was primarily meant to be for.

I didn't want to get into the whole "under the microscope" approach that goes down on some **cough** other story sites, that exist purely to critique your story. I'm generalising here, but they can often be very useful to writers, but at the same time can end up being a little too cliquey for my liking, and leave some authors so deflated they don't write again.

Feel free to add comments at the start or end of your stories if you so desire, "I would appreciate all feedback to this story, please head to the forum and discuss it", or something along those lines.
josef
Posted: Tuesday, September 30, 2008 8:42:12 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,624
After submitting my stories to several sites and getting 'lost' in the shuffle of so many other writers, I am very happy to find this site. It is very well organized and has a crisp look and navigation.

The stories I've read so far are very exciting and very well written. And they are HOT!

I also hoped to get some good reviews and advise, and I have found both here.

I like Kat's point #6 about writing in the proper voice, as that is troublesome for me. Overall, great advise - Thanks Kat!
ASubtlepassion
Posted: Friday, October 10, 2008 3:52:15 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,624
Even though getting feedback can be good in the long run, it's a two-edged sword. It really depends on how thick your skin is. I chose to write the way I like, and I get a lot of comments, good and bad. If someone doesn't like my stories, they move on. I actually have used the comments as a barometer on how people like my stories, and the view counts.
You can tell the bad ones, or at least the stories that make people either uncomfortable or don't turn them on. But just in this forum, where there is typically the usual suspects roaming around on any given day, I can tell that there are those who either don't lke my stories, or wouldn't like them. That's not a criticism, it's just an observation.
We are all different, coming from different backgrounds. But, in general, feedback groups are a reguar and healthy item in the writing world. It's just not my cup of tea.
Sillyswager
Posted: Sunday, February 01, 2009 8:18:19 PM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 11/15/2008
Posts: 3
Thank you for the commentary and I appreciate the follow-up of the readers of this thread. I also, like many want some actual criticism of my stuff, as I am new to this. I found one great writer, link below, who manages to combine the erotic with the humorous:


http://www.lushstories.com/stories/taboo/close-teacher.aspx

Alot of this stuff is written off the cuff, and although I spell check and look for grammer errors, I often don't know if it's cool or crap until get some feedback.

Thanks, and check out that guy's stories, great character details!
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, August 05, 2009 8:14:52 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,624
I'm new here and new to writing which I think you can tell from my work but I'll take all of this on board. I ,like many others, would definitely appreciate comments on my stories so I really wish that people would leave more... not just on how it's written but what got them off and what should have but didn't. I really look forward to interacting with you all and any help I can garner from you all, experienced writers that you are, would be brilliant. Good luck to all of you. Mark.xx
viper
Posted: Sunday, August 16, 2009 10:14:55 PM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 8/10/2009
Posts: 2
Kat, thank you for the really informative post. I have taken some time to actually come across it and your comments are really valid especially the section of knowing your anatomy, I would also hasten to add that many females are just as guilty as their male counterparts when it comes to anatomical knowledge. I suppose have medical training I take this knowledge for granted so emphasize the importance of actual knowledge. It always makes me laugh when I read stories that indicate that there has been continuous vaginal or anal penetration for prolonged periods as for the average normal human being this is simply not possible, although some erectile dysfunction drugs may certainly extend the time available. As in real life the really erotic part of the sex act is the foreplay and ensuring that both parties have their individual needs and desires met.

In regards to having a friend read your work, I find that female friends are the best critics as they know what they really like. By the way I am relatively new to this site also. Thanks again.wave
misssiberia
Posted: Tuesday, April 20, 2010 2:09:57 AM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 4/2/2010
Posts: 1
Location: Western Colorado
In college I was encouraged to include as many of the five senses as possible in each scene. What music is playing? What color is the room? What is on the walls? Is it warm or cool? What does something feel like? Taste like? What do you smell? Those ingredients bring the reader deeper into the story.
nicola
Posted: Tuesday, April 20, 2010 5:22:43 PM

Rank: Matriarch

Joined: 12/6/2006
Posts: 25,481
Location: The Orgasmatron
Good advice Miss Siberia. Welcome to the site hello2
Guest
Posted: Sunday, December 04, 2011 4:21:24 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,624
Also try and vary the beginning of your sentences. There is nothing worse than reading a story where nearly every sentence begins with 'I', 'She', He'.

For instance, if you were writing a paragraph as follows:

I looked into her eyes. I knew that I wanted her. I had to have her. I slid my hand under her blouse.

This could read as:

As I looked into her eyes I knew that I wanted her, and would have to make love to her (fuck her - whatever your choice is). My hand slid under her blouse....

See how it all flows (sorry about the pun) much better.
DLizze
Posted: Sunday, December 04, 2011 9:11:57 AM

Rank: Story Verifier

Joined: 4/23/2011
Posts: 2,552
Details, details, and more details. Don't just say she wore a sundress. What color was it? Was it high-necked, boat-necked, halter-necked or bandeau? Was the material patterned; and was it linen, cotton or silk? Did it have an unusually long or short skirt, or was it knee-length? If she walked in front of a window, could you see a hnt of the shape of her legs through the material? All those things add to the picture. Yoiu have to paint a complete picture with words. The reader cannot see what you see in your mind, so you have to write it for them to be able to fully visualize.

Now, admittedly, it is possible to get too wrapped up in the details; read anything by James Fenimore Cooper, to see the effect of becoming overly detailed in your realism. (One does not need to know the texture of the bark on every tree, to understand what Chingatsgook (sp?) feels as he walks throug the forest.)

Someone else said "read a ton of erotica". As a male, I have a difficult time knowing what women want, or think about. Two books I find myself going back to again and again, are My Secret Garden and Forbidden Flowers, both by Nancy Friday. They are books written by asking women to write their sexual fantasies. Ms. Friday opens each chapter with a general description of how the fantasy plays out in her own mind, and how women use the fantasies in their lives.

"There's only three tempos: slow, medium and fast. When you get between in the cracks, ain't nuthin' happenin'." Ben Webster
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