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Goddess online: offline - not so much... Options · View
MinaMiranda
Posted: Sunday, April 10, 2011 11:14:18 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 3/29/2011
Posts: 71
Ladies, do you ever feel this way or do I need to look at my self-esteem?

Online - I totally cut loose. I am erotic, expressive, daring, confident, get into some wonderful and naughty conversations with men. It feels like an equal playing field and I feel like a woman through and through.

Offline - I feel like a complete imposter. I'm prudish, nervous, self-critical and if any of my nearest and dearest knew what I was up to they'd either fall over themselves laughing or disown me completely.

But...

Which one is the real me? Is the net my mask and everything I am here is dependent on being online? How can I combine the two...I would hate to be misrepresenting myself, I'm not into deceiving people at all.

Your thoughts please, as to what's going on?

Stock answer to most forum questions:
Some do, Some don't

Love blindsides us all.
Dancing_Doll
Posted: Sunday, April 10, 2011 11:35:21 AM

Rank: Alpha Blonde

Joined: 2/17/2010
Posts: 5,945
Location: In your dirty fantasies
Hmm... I'm very much the same offline as well as online.

In your situation, I think I would say that the real inner you is the one that exists online. After all, you clearly enjoy sharing your sexual side in this environment, so it does exist authentically within you. I'm thinking that probably you end up repressing this side of yourself in real life because of expectations of others, or maybe there's a shyness factor or concern about how you will be perceived or maybe even judged.

We all have to wear different masks in our public lives and be social chameleons in different environments, but I think I would only be concerned if you can't be "the real you" with your closest friends or significant other in a private environment.


sunnygirl
Posted: Sunday, April 10, 2011 11:41:44 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 3/31/2011
Posts: 65
Location: Winsor
i feel alone when im not on lush

ask me anythin
tell me your secrets
becuase im here to be somebodys best friend
Mistress_of_words
Posted: Sunday, April 10, 2011 12:03:00 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/14/2011
Posts: 591
Location: At my keyboard, writing stories for you
Lush is a great place to explore who you are and you'd like to be. It's not decieving, it's like practicing in a flight simulator before you get your hands on a real plane - it doesn't matter if you crash so you can attempt that loop-de-loop with no fear.

MinaMiranda
Posted: Sunday, April 10, 2011 12:03:31 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 3/29/2011
Posts: 71
Dancing_Doll wrote:
Hmm... I'm very much the same offline as well as online.

In your situation, I think I would say that the real inner you is the one that exists online. After all, you clearly enjoy sharing your sexual side in this environment, so it does exist authentically within you. I'm thinking that probably you end up repressing this side of yourself in real life because of expectations of others, or maybe there's a shyness factor or concern about how you will be perceived or maybe even judged.

We all have to wear different masks in our public lives and be social chameleons in different environments, but I think I would only be concerned if you can't be "the real you" with your closest friends or significant other in a private environment.


Goddamit you're good. Big Hugs

Stock answer to most forum questions:
Some do, Some don't

Love blindsides us all.
MinaMiranda
Posted: Sunday, April 10, 2011 12:04:59 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 3/29/2011
Posts: 71
Mistress_of_words wrote:
Lush is a great place to explore who you are and you'd like to be. It's not decieving, it's like practicing in a flight simulator before you get your hands on a real plane - it doesn't matter if you crash so you can attempt that loop-de-loop with no fear.


That's an amazingly apt analogy, and very reassuring.

Aw Sunny... :( well, there is strength in being alone (doesn't feel like it though)

Stock answer to most forum questions:
Some do, Some don't

Love blindsides us all.
Guest
Posted: Sunday, April 10, 2011 12:57:43 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 470,130
Agree with Mistress and Doll. Only my closest friends see who I am...here on lush as well in person. The others I see at work or in other social settings don't simply because I don't care what they think. More important I can live with who I am and know that those I care most about love me for who I really am!
Nikki703
Posted: Monday, April 11, 2011 8:35:35 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/7/2009
Posts: 12,324
Location: The Other Side Of The Mirror
I am like this in some ways also.

Online- A big flirt, very outgoing, daring, open to anything and everything.

Offline- Actually kind of shy with strangers and definitely critical of myself, but still very sexual and open with friends.

I think the online persona is more the real me. I am more like the online Nikki when Im with my close friends and I find I am becoming more like that everyday. Lush has helped me to realize that it is OK to be highly sexual and you can be without being a total slut. And that there are so many women out there that share my thoughts on sex, and that I am not alone in how I fell about sex.

The Flight Simulator correlation is right on I think. It allows us all to be who we are without fear of what our friends and family will think of us. And when we are comfortable, then we can share the real person. Its like I will fantasize about something and them maybe one day when I am ready, I will make it a reality!!
MMonroe
Posted: Monday, April 11, 2011 10:15:42 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/10/2009
Posts: 1,891
Location: United Kingdom
Nikki703 wrote:
I am like this in some ways also.

Online- A big flirt, very outgoing, daring, open to anything and everything.

Offline- Actually kind of shy with strangers and definitely critical of myself, but still very sexual and open with friends.

I think the online persona is more the real me. I am more like the online Nikki when Im with my close friends and I find I am becoming more like that everyday. Lush has helped me to realize that it is OK to be highly sexual and you can be without being a total slut. And that there are so many women out there that share my thoughts on sex, and that I am not alone in how I fell about sex.

The Flight Simulator correlation is right on I think. It allows us all to be who we are without fear of what our friends and family will think of us. And when we are comfortable, then we can share the real person. Its like I will fantasize about something and them maybe one day when I am ready, I will make it a reality!!


Same Hugs



*Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable?*



Guest
Posted: Monday, April 11, 2011 5:28:35 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 470,130
I definately wear different masks for different people. I would say that the majority of people don't know me well at all
CellarDoor
Posted: Tuesday, April 12, 2011 3:57:00 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/11/2011
Posts: 126
Location: Realityville
I think I'll have to go with the majority on this one.

Like most of you, I feel I can be more expressive, free-spirited and sensual then I normally would; but it's a great feeling!

My closest friends know this other side to me that I closely guard, but don't think much of it - because they know the true me! However, It is true that we reveal and hide certain personality traits - its only human.
We are always to some degree self critical and no matter how much we may deny it, we almost always care about what others think of us and keeping a little mystery is normal because we need that barrier in order to maintain certain relationships.

(imagine what your mother-in-law, boss, or other members of the PTA might think of your Lush exploits!)

I truly believe that it's natural to want to explore these deeper pockets of ourselves on Lush because it makes us feel good (and who couldn't use a little ego boost every now and then?)

In reality, no one is "perfect," it's all about trying new things, saying or writing things we don't get to express on a daily basis, and seeing ourselves in a new way - almost like under a newly changed lightbulb!






Just-SJ
Posted: Wednesday, April 13, 2011 7:08:58 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/31/2010
Posts: 137
I think maybe the "real" you is a combination of both. In the real world it takes time to be comfortable in who you are and express it. The cyber world is a good place to explore the things you are curious about and learn more about yourself.

When i first joined the online world I was a little wild, while in reality I was shy. Move forward in time and I'm somewhere in between, online and off I am the same person.

The experimenting was OH SO FUN!

Follow my blog! Latest post: Shake Your Bootie
She
Posted: Wednesday, April 13, 2011 12:54:24 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/24/2010
Posts: 2,052
Location: Europe
MinaMiranda wrote:


Which one is the real me? Is the net my mask and everything I am here is dependent on being online? How can I combine the two...I would hate to be misrepresenting myself, I'm not into deceiving people at all.

Your thoughts please, as to what's going on?


In my case, I am who I am. Don't have nerves to play the games and create drama in my life, however my personality in real life and me as a person, gets better results than on line. For that I can say few reason why and probably few more that I am not awere of..

But in your case if I underastood your post correctly, 'both of you' as you said it, is you, problem is that sometimes we are more relaxed and capable of expresing ourselves when we feel that no one is watching us.
You, in real life cannot let yourself go. Work on that, nobody will judge you, and those who will,you certanly don't need their oppinion or their presence in your life.
The whole point is not to be perfect, but to be yourself and to enjoy in that thought.
whish you well
MinaMiranda
Posted: Friday, April 15, 2011 2:49:30 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 3/29/2011
Posts: 71
Thank you for all the thoughtful and understanding replies. Going to try to mix the two up a little bit - perhaps be a bit more restrained online, and a bit more wild offline, and see if I can't find the happy medium that way.

Stock answer to most forum questions:
Some do, Some don't

Love blindsides us all.
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