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pete379
Posted: Monday, April 25, 2011 9:38:16 PM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 4/25/2011
Posts: 7
Location: maricopa, United States
Why do you think my wife was willing to give me blowjobs before we got married, but now she refuses I'm confussed
cokeheadbarbie
Posted: Monday, April 25, 2011 10:01:52 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/4/2010
Posts: 163
Location: In the DJ Booth , United Kingdom
because before she was putting in efforts to get the ring and become Mrs. Pete379. And now she doesn't have to impress you anymore. Shhh

xx B.
Orgasmic
Posted: Tuesday, April 26, 2011 8:06:39 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/25/2011
Posts: 156
May be she's bored or thinks as one sided and effortless pleasure, go down on her before you ask for a suck , make her happy, happy woman suck better !
myself
Posted: Tuesday, April 26, 2011 1:43:01 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/17/2010
Posts: 966
Location: .showyourdick.org/
I might be speaking out of school here but here I go anyway -Keep it clean, don't ask/beg before hand but lay on the bed and pull her to you in 69. Spread her legs and use your fingers-hand-mouth exploring pussy and anus until you have her cumming and then, (tell) her to suck your cock but don't stop what your doing to her even if it takes her a while to respond.

Male assertiveness and patience generally excites a woman where as begging is usually a turn-off and if you are excited/hard while pleasuring her she hopefully is complimented and will want to give the same and may even get off on it.

For some guys, head is all they think about and this can be construed as, he doesn't like my pussy, and it hurts a woman to think anything is better than her womanhood.

love her well and hopefully, she will do the same -never forget the pussy : )



Torture the data long enough and they will confess to anything.
Chase
Posted: Tuesday, April 26, 2011 1:57:46 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/21/2011
Posts: 547
I have to assume there are more than a few women out there who have never gone there, or have once or twice, and decided the power-, sexiness, or control that other women says they enjoy just never were there for them.

Perhaps quite a few will talk about it in chat as something they enjoy, but realities are different.

Perhaps someone should create a poll which allows for anonymous answers (then again, i suppose if I look deep, it has been done already? Someone want to bump it up to the front?) and for commentary by those not worried about anyone's perceptions.

I would ask something along the lines of the following -

What is your memory of your reaction to hearing/learning about or seeing some representation of fellatio?
Shocked, and no way, or why would anybody......?
Hmmmm, interesting....
Isn't that what it is for?

Are there women who never thought for a moment there was anything unnatural, degrading, unpleasant or weird about it, but who were basically preternaturally inclined and as in the third response above, were "I want it!"

How many women had their first experience in giving oral sex because:
I want it!
Coerced
Forced
Told by other girls they would lose the guy if they didn't?
Obliged out of a sense or reciprocity?

How many women feel similar to this about it?
Crazy for it.
Enjoy the power or control it gives me.
It makes him happy, and gets me what I want.
Don't mind.
Keeps him from wanting any more of me.
Did it ____ times but not again.

I am not a pollster, but if you want to chime in, and trust that I am not into sharing responses, my in-box is empty and I will honor any/all deletion and do-not-respond requests.

As for the guys, some years ago there was one of those mini-snippets in a FHM or Maxim or such that says only 26% of guys can achieve orgasm by oral sex alone. What say the ladies, or guys, on their reactions to that number?

Dancing_Doll
Posted: Tuesday, April 26, 2011 2:15:08 PM

Rank: Alpha Blonde

Joined: 2/17/2010
Posts: 6,228
Location: West Coast
Chase wrote:


As for the guys, some years ago there was one of those mini-snippets in a FHM or Maxim or such that says only 26% of guys can achieve orgasm by oral sex alone. What say the ladies, or guys, on their reactions to that number?



Every guy I have sucked off must have been in that 26% then. Either that, or the stat is wrong.

It could also be that girls don't know what they are doing, don't do it long enough, or aren't enthusiastic about showing off their talented mouths. Holding the shaft and licking the head like a lollypop ain't gonna do it, so I can see why guys that are used to an incompetent or mediocre method might think that it's not possible for them to orgasm orally.


Dancing_Doll
Posted: Tuesday, April 26, 2011 2:18:40 PM

Rank: Alpha Blonde

Joined: 2/17/2010
Posts: 6,228
Location: West Coast
pete379 wrote:
Why do you think my wife was willing to give me blowjobs before we got married, but now she refuses I'm confussed


To answer the OP... why don't you start refusing to go down on her and see if she changes her tune... My 2 cents


Dudealicious
Posted: Tuesday, April 26, 2011 2:29:35 PM

Rank: Wise Ass

Joined: 11/12/2010
Posts: 5,411
Location: The center of the universe, Canada
Dancing_Doll wrote:
Chase wrote:


As for the guys, some years ago there was one of those mini-snippets in a FHM or Maxim or such that says only 26% of guys can achieve orgasm by oral sex alone. What say the ladies, or guys, on their reactions to that number?



Every guy I have sucked off must have been in that 26% then. Either that, or the stat is wrong.

It could also be that girls don't know what they are doing, don't do it long enough, or aren't enthusiastic about showing off their talented mouths. Holding the shaft and licking the head like a lollypop ain't gonna do it, so I can see why guys that are used to an incompetent or mediocre method might think that it's not possible for them to orgasm orally.


Wow 26% eh? That seems really low, I think you may be right Doll some of the women I have been with are horrible at giving head. They just lick the tip and hope it will be earth shattering (insert fake moans here) and the don't pay enough attention to the other areas of a guys body as well. If I am going to cum please engage my whole body nipples, ears, suck on my balls a little too please! Then go in for the kill!

As for the original question some women not only lose interest in oral sex but in sex totally, Pete hope you haven't fallen into the latter big guy.

The night that changed my life, a four part series of a married man lusting after his co-worker

Guest
Posted: Tuesday, April 26, 2011 2:38:35 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 531,754
Clearly I cannot claim any knowledge on the married side of this but it's either going to be a marriage issue (see other people's far more knowledgeable answers!) or the fact that she feels you're perhaps a little on the selfish side in bed.

I personally know that unless a guy works damn hard to please me my mouth isn't going to be going anywhere near his dick!
Kimasa
Posted: Tuesday, April 26, 2011 3:01:21 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/18/2010
Posts: 1,262
Location: Narnia, United Kingdom
My only guess is that there must be something wrong or lacking in the relationship and you can only find out what they might be by having a very open discussion.

Sometimes a woman's sex drive or willingness to please can be effected by influences that have root causes which didn't originate in the bedroom.

I hope you get it resolved.

My latest story:

http://www.lushstories.com/stories/reluctance/the-school-reunion.aspx
Pelicanbill
Posted: Tuesday, April 26, 2011 3:17:09 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/13/2011
Posts: 304
Location: Top Of The South
I can only put my mere male vew. Yes i do enjoy having a bj - it is not the most important part of a couples sexuality. You have to think it as a part of a persons
overall of bringing pleasure to another in the ccourse of a sexual encounter. Yes, have have done it to a Tv
lafayettemister
Posted: Tuesday, April 26, 2011 3:24:12 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/4/2010
Posts: 6,372
Location: Alabama, United States
It could just be that she doesn't like giving head. Maybe you need to drink some pineapple juice. Maybe there's nothing wrong with either of you but she just doesn't want or enjoy it?

Personally, I don't like having to "earn" head. If I were to go down on a lover it wouldn't be because she did something to garner my attention there. It would be because i like doing it and she likes getting it. If she hated blowing me, I'd still do her if she got off on it. If I have to mow the yard, paint the fence, change the oil in teh car to get, whatever... sooner or later the "price" for getting a bj will get more and more until it's "unaffordable". If a guy's being a dick, then he may not get any head. But in the heat of a sexual moment, why stop the fun because he isn't worth it. Of course I'm talking about a long term relationship, not just a random one night stand. That's different.

Btw, I've had the "hold the shaft, lick the head like a lollipop" kind of bj. Definitely doens't work.





When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates
myself
Posted: Tuesday, April 26, 2011 3:33:41 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/17/2010
Posts: 966
Location: .showyourdick.org/
Giving head is a learned art and it's understandable that many men can't cum this way because all givers don't know how to achieve that outcome but with practice anyone can be great.

Don't think women are born with the urge to give it but have done so and do so for any of the reason's stated by Chase. I believe most women and maybe most men who are willing or pressured to give head go through the usual growing pains and stress that come with any trial and error lesson and because it is emotional as well, it can be even more difficult than a usual lesson. Teach her from the beginning with praise and reward.

With this said, giving and receiving can be a beautiful thing even if one learned and advanced with bad experience and even if the one giving is still learning if the desire is there. It takes the love of something or maybe someone or maybe it can be pure self desire that makes people perfect such tasks. In any case, it is desire that creates perfection and sometimes obsession and sometimes addiction which can be good or bad for either.

It is my stand that all sexual desire between willing adults is beautiful and that most unsatisfied desire is satisfiable with mutual desire and understanding in time. Albeit, it seems that the willingness of one is the part that is absent most of the time and that even if the willingness is there the selfishness of the other has a way of canceling any efforts. What the HELL.

I do believe it's OK to not want to or to want to do many things sexually. We all have our own sexual priorities and understandings of what is right and wrong which should be allowed to any so that we may advance in the direction we choose.

There is so much discovered and undiscovered desire in a soul. Why not help the one you love if you can? That means you guys help your woman through this process if it's that important - Peace : )

Torture the data long enough and they will confess to anything.
TracyAmes
Posted: Tuesday, April 26, 2011 3:43:32 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 4/8/2011
Posts: 204
Location: Here nor There, United States
lafayettemister wrote:
Personally, I don't like having to "earn" head. If I were to go down on a lover it wouldn't be because she did something to garner my attention there. It would be because i like doing it and she likes getting it. If she hated blowing me, I'd still do her if she got off on it. If I have to mow the yard, paint the fence, change the oil in teh car to get, whatever... sooner or later the "price" for getting a bj will get more and more until it's "unaffordable". If a guy's being a dick, then he may not get any head. But in the heat of a sexual moment, why stop the fun because he isn't worth it. Of course I'm talking about a long term relationship, not just a random one night stand. That's different.


OMG, you nailed it! Why barter sex? That gets old fast and there's always someone offering discounts. That goes for both sexes. Either you want to do it or you don't. And yes, sadly external events do enter the bedroom. But if I'm too pissed to give a blowjob, why would sex be an option period? Are there levels of pissed I've missed? Is there a flow chart?

Tracy Ames
Erotic Word Slinger & Smarty Pants
InterracialErotica.net ~ My Website
Rants & Rambles ~ My Youtube Channel

“Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia.”
E. L. Doctorow
myself
Posted: Tuesday, April 26, 2011 3:47:25 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/17/2010
Posts: 966
Location: .showyourdick.org/
some really funny stuff here lol : )

Torture the data long enough and they will confess to anything.
TracyAmes
Posted: Tuesday, April 26, 2011 3:53:51 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 4/8/2011
Posts: 204
Location: Here nor There, United States
myself wrote:
some really funny stuff here lol : )


I loved your reply. "Giving and receiving can be a beautiful thing even if one learned and advanced with bad experience and even if the one giving is still learning if the desire is there." Well said.

Tracy Ames
Erotic Word Slinger & Smarty Pants
InterracialErotica.net ~ My Website
Rants & Rambles ~ My Youtube Channel

“Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia.”
E. L. Doctorow
lafayettemister
Posted: Tuesday, April 26, 2011 3:54:48 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/4/2010
Posts: 6,372
Location: Alabama, United States
TracyAmes wrote:
lafayettemister wrote:
Personally, I don't like having to "earn" head. If I were to go down on a lover it wouldn't be because she did something to garner my attention there. It would be because i like doing it and she likes getting it. If she hated blowing me, I'd still do her if she got off on it. If I have to mow the yard, paint the fence, change the oil in teh car to get, whatever... sooner or later the "price" for getting a bj will get more and more until it's "unaffordable". If a guy's being a dick, then he may not get any head. But in the heat of a sexual moment, why stop the fun because he isn't worth it. Of course I'm talking about a long term relationship, not just a random one night stand. That's different.


OMG, you nailed it! Why barter sex? That gets old fast and there's always someone offering discounts. That goes for both sexes. Either you want to do it or you don't. And yes, sadly external events do enter the bedroom. But if I'm too pissed to give a blowjob, why would sex be an option period? Are there levels of pissed I've missed? Is there a flow chart?


Thanks. And yes that goes for both sexes. I'm sure if a guy said to his wife or girlfriend something like, "Wow, you cooked a great supper and cleaned the dishes, lay down and open your legs. You deserve to be eaten out." That wouldn't be all that appealing either. With all things sexual.. if you like or want to do it, do it. If you don't, don't. Simple as that.





When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, April 26, 2011 4:06:30 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 531,754
Sticking my nose in quickly to further my comment...

I don't think 'bartering' is what's going on - if you love giving blow jobs then that's great, and in all seriousness: kudos to you. Personally it isn't something that I like doing, or something that turns me on - but if a man deserves it because he has treated me in a nice, un-selfish manner then by all means, I'll give him one if he likes it (and lets face it, they do).

I'm not asking a man to do this for me, or do that, I'm just expecting an equal level of attention spent on me. If you have sex with a selfish lover (unless it's for roleplay reasons) then one is usually not inclined to put any serious effort into it. I might be a selfish person in other aspects of my life - but in bed I simply expect a similar level of caring about how I'm being satisfied as to how he is being satisfied by me.
sugarbabe
Posted: Tuesday, April 26, 2011 4:10:22 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/30/2010
Posts: 691
Location: northeast, United States
I have given many, and everyone is different. but on a whole I love sucking ,licking, teasing , holding swallowing, trying.. to swallow it that is, and stroking fast and furious to smooth and soft. and lately adding a finger to his ass and really causing him to explode. he doesn't know what to expect from my bj's. and I have only one time time used a toy on him and jumped on top to have quite an explosive orgasm myself, and so did he. but there are times when I don't want to at all, just want to lay there and be explored. so she is missing out on so much lovin fun, but I don't like him to cum in my mouth unless I want it, so he warns me when he's ready free-sexy-smileys-947 b229

sex is like a joke...it's only good if you get it


Mistress_of_words
Posted: Tuesday, April 26, 2011 4:12:41 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/14/2011
Posts: 591
Location: At my keyboard, writing stories for you
lafayettemister wrote:
Personally, I don't like having to "earn" head. If I were to go down on a lover it wouldn't be because she did something to garner my attention there.


Damn straight!

Is it me, or is there some kind of assumption in the very idea of "bartering for sex" that suggests a) women expect payment for their services and b) a man would purposefully provide his services purely in the expectation of return. Funny how it is rarely discussed the other way around!

If she has stopped doing something she used to do willingly, look for the trigger, identify what has changed. In fact, consider how willing she was in the first place. Did she ever give you head selflessly?

myself
Posted: Tuesday, April 26, 2011 4:49:55 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/17/2010
Posts: 966
Location: .showyourdick.org/
lafayettemister wrote:
TracyAmes wrote:
lafayettemister wrote:
Personally, I don't like having to "earn" head. If I were to go down on a lover it wouldn't be because she did something to garner my attention there. It would be because i like doing it and she likes getting it. If she hated blowing me, I'd still do her if she got off on it. If I have to mow the yard, paint the fence, change the oil in teh car to get, whatever... sooner or later the "price" for getting a bj will get more and more until it's "unaffordable". If a guy's being a dick, then he may not get any head. But in the heat of a sexual moment, why stop the fun because he isn't worth it. Of course I'm talking about a long term relationship, not just a random one night stand. That's different.


OMG, you nailed it! Why barter sex? That gets old fast and there's always someone offering discounts. That goes for both sexes. Either you want to do it or you don't. And yes, sadly external events do enter the bedroom. But if I'm too pissed to give a blowjob, why would sex be an option period? Are there levels of pissed I've missed? Is there a flow chart?


Thanks. And yes that goes for both sexes. I'm sure if a guy said to his wife or girlfriend something like, "Wow, you cooked a great supper and cleaned the dishes, lay down and open your legs. You deserve to be eaten out." That wouldn't be all that appealing either. With all things sexual.. if you like or want to do it, do it. If you don't, don't. Simple as that.


yes to this and totally agree for you -

In my home and I think because, we (my man and i) are much older and than you, we need blow jobs and hand jobs because our bodies are not young anymore. He can not use his worn out knees and I am not positioned like a girl any longer. He works six days a week and I full time on the move all shift. We have the best sex either of us have experienced everyday for hours sometimes. The only way we could do this is use the best that we have offer each other. This understanding is beautiful and wonderful sexually. I think the alternative would be no together sex like so many older lonely people. We count our blessings everyday and are happy to an unimaginable extent. I say this because, I never thought sex could be so wonderful even though I have been practically addicted since I was a girl. This also is an addiction. I need his cock in my mouth. It gets me off. The hardness of him is exciting and rewarding because I love him. He also is at his peak when I am begging for him to stop because I can't keep cumming thinking I might kill over from orgasm. He is so talented, and I've said this before, that he can touch me with just a finger in the right place and make me cum instantly anytime anywhere and I know from personal experience that many dicks in my puss couldn't get this done. I can take him when I want him with my mouth easily anytime and consequently he is addicted to my mouth. Why shouldn't he be? It makes him happy. There are tools to use for happiness. If you don't need this of course that's OK. Don't know what I would do without and know if I knew what I know now about pleasuring a man when I was younger sex would of been different and my life would of been different but then, I wouldn't have known the wonderful man in the world. : )

edit- Gave a lot of head when I was young. They liked it and some liked so much they also became selfishly addicted. That's not what I'm talking about. There's no selfishness in my sex life now. In fact, my mate wished for the longest time that he could fuck me like a young man could and I know sometimes still he wishes but now, he knows happiness like never before. The lack of selfishness between us is what has made the sex so good for us.

If you understand what I'm trying to say pete379, give it a try.

Torture the data long enough and they will confess to anything.
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, April 26, 2011 5:59:39 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 531,754
Wow! Loved reading this thread! I personally cannot imagine NOT loving to give my man a blowjob. And I think the fact that I do love it makes it even more pleasurable for him. This thread has inspired me to take a poll among my closest girlfriends and see whether they like giving and/or receiving oral.
TracyAmes
Posted: Tuesday, April 26, 2011 6:12:36 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 4/8/2011
Posts: 204
Location: Here nor There, United States
NaughtyZoey wrote:
Wow! Loved reading this thread! I personally cannot imagine NOT loving to give my man a blowjob. And I think the fact that I do love it makes it even more pleasurable for him. This thread has inspired me to take a poll among my closest girlfriends and see whether they like giving and/or receiving oral.

Same here! My girlfriends and I are chatting about it right now. Again, Lush sparks conversation. :)

Tracy Ames
Erotic Word Slinger & Smarty Pants
InterracialErotica.net ~ My Website
Rants & Rambles ~ My Youtube Channel

“Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia.”
E. L. Doctorow
mare24
Posted: Tuesday, April 26, 2011 10:15:01 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/6/2009
Posts: 145
Location: Second star to the right, straight on til morning.
I personally love giving my man a blowjob. It's a feeling of absolute power that I can pleasure him to the degree that he explodes in my mouth (I must be good at it because the only time he doesn't is when I stop it), and I love his taste. I guess it isn't for everyone. Maybe the wife never did like it but did it to please you and now she doesn't have too. It's a common situation. Why don't you get her to loosen up a bit with a nice glass of wine, or do her first? I go crazy when my man is going down on me so much so I cannot stand it if I can't have him in my mouth.
Chase
Posted: Wednesday, April 27, 2011 3:37:30 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/21/2011
Posts: 547
I appreciate the forthright and honest answers shared here so far.

Tracy, feel free to invite your friends, or to get permission to post a transcript of your conversations here. LOL.
thelometto
Posted: Wednesday, April 27, 2011 7:51:52 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 12/11/2010
Posts: 46
I believe oral sex (given and received) is an integral part of a sexual relationship. There can be no good sex without it
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