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Writing Exercise: DESCRIPTION Options · View
MorganHawke
Posted: Monday, April 25, 2011 4:43:10 PM

Rank: First Person Smartass

Joined: 2/8/2011
Posts: 347
Location: The suburbs.
Creative Narrative
A Description exercise


DESCRIPTION is the key to fleshing out ANY scene, but especially Sex Scenes.

´╗┐Don't just call it 'juice,' describe the glistening moisture that slides in slender rivulets down the inside of her thigh THEN describe how it feels physically, THEN how the character feels emotionally about the fact that they're dripping from excitement.

1. What it looks like.
2. What it feels like Physically.
3. How they feel about it Emotionally.


You have 5 senses -- USE THEM:
Texture, Flavor, Appearance, Sound, Aroma


The glistening moisture slid in slender rivulets down the inside of her thigh. The coolness of the moisture tickled in contrast to the wamth of her skin. Because her skirt was so short, her excitement was clearly visible to anyone who happened to be looking. Her cheeks filled with embarrassed warmth and she lowered her gaze, not wanting to know who might be staring at her, aware that she was aroused.

"So how do you DO that sort of writing?"


The same way you do anything, you PRACTICE.




For this exercise, you will need the movie Sin City. If you don't have it, The Matrix or Equilibrium will do.

WATCH the movie undisturbed from beginning to end. NO INTERRUPTIONS. This is Important!

Watch where the Camera looks. Sin City in particular is a brilliant example of how to describe using pictures. The movie is filmed in black and white with splashes of color here and there only where the viewer's eye needs to be.

When a character is first introduced, LOOK at how the camera starts in Close Focus on the character's face and then pulls back to reveal the character's body, lovingly showing the viewer exactly what the character looks like AND their distinguishing characteristics from top to bottom. THEN the view expands wider to disclose where that character is and what they are doing at that moment.

After those first few moments of sheer View, you get a narrative from the Point of View character -- which may Not be the character the camera is showing you. You get the narrator's opinions, their feelings, their delusions. THAT is how the viewer (the reader) learns about the character.

Once the movie is over, put on some music that fits the movie. (I actually have the soundtracks, to these.) Next! Break out your remote control and Watch The Same Movie AGAIN -- but this time, with the volume OFF.

Sit on your couch and Out Loud, Narrate what you are looking at. Do NOT write anything. Just talk to the TV screen Out Loud and describe -- in detail -- what you are looking at as though it was a book you were reading.

Describe the Characters.
Describe the Actions.
Describe the Fight Scenes.
Describe the Kisses.
Describe the Backgrounds and Setting -- including the rooms and weather conditions!

Use your remote control and STOP the scene where you have difficulty describing what you are seeing. Work at it until the words come to you. They don't have to be perfect -- close IS good enough for this exercise.

Do NOT write anything down.

Keep going until the movie is Over.

This should help loosen up a few things in your writing mind -- and give you some strong visuals to write from later.

Next!
-- Write a 1000 word Scene that introduces a character of YOURS. Make sure you picture the scene in your mind with the same dramatic camera angles and close-ups the movie and Describe it so that anyone Reading it can clearly see it.

Compare that scene with any introductory scene in a story you've already written and SEE the difference.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Just so you know, this is an exercise I created to make my own writing more Visual back when I first started writing. The movie I used was "The Lost Boys", the original 1984 version. It really helped my ability to describe in my stories. I though other people might find it useful too.

Enjoy!


Morgan Hawke
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Purveyor of fine Smut.
DarkErotica.Net ~ My Website
DarkErotica Blog ~ My Writers' blog

"If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough."
Albert Einstein

Guest
Posted: Friday, June 03, 2011 1:55:17 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,826
Ah, how sad and lonely, the post with zero replies. Had to do something about that.

Very inventive, your exercise. You certainly were serious about improving your work, if you went to such lengths for it!

I'm fortunate in this respect, that I'm naturally very, very visual. Been drawing since I could hold a crayon. Portraits are my passion. And what is writing but a portrait of events, drawn in words?

You rock, miss Hawke. Lush is lucky to have you.
nicola
Posted: Friday, June 03, 2011 3:41:36 AM

Rank: Matriarch

Joined: 12/6/2006
Posts: 25,568
Location: The Orgasmatron
stormblue wrote:
You rock, miss Hawke. Lush is lucky to have you.


I agree wholeheartedly.

I searched the web far and wide to find GOOD tutorials on writing in this genre, and only one site stood out. Lucky for me, Morgan has a very kind nature and enjoys helping out fellow writers.
MorganHawke
Posted: Friday, June 03, 2011 6:01:39 AM

Rank: First Person Smartass

Joined: 2/8/2011
Posts: 347
Location: The suburbs.
stormblue wrote:
Very inventive, your exercise. You certainly were serious about improving your work, if you went to such lengths for it!

Obsession, more like... Seriously.

stormblue wrote:
I'm fortunate in this respect, that I'm naturally very, very visual. Been drawing since I could hold a crayon. Portraits are my passion.

Would you believe I started out as an artist? In fact, I'm quite good, just not good enough to make it. I have talent, but I just don't have the drive -- the obsession -- it takes to develop it. With writing however, I have more drive to improve than I know what to do with.

stormblue wrote:
And what is writing but a portrait of events, drawn in words?

Exactly!!!

stormblue wrote:
You rock, miss Hawke. Lush is lucky to have you.

I'm lucky in that Lush was kind enough to let me in. LOL!

Morgan Hawke
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Purveyor of fine Smut.
DarkErotica.Net ~ My Website
DarkErotica Blog ~ My Writers' blog

"If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough."
Albert Einstein

MorganHawke
Posted: Friday, June 03, 2011 6:02:50 AM

Rank: First Person Smartass

Joined: 2/8/2011
Posts: 347
Location: The suburbs.
nicola wrote:
stormblue wrote:
You rock, miss Hawke. Lush is lucky to have you.


I agree wholeheartedly.

I searched the web far and wide to find GOOD tutorials on writing in this genre, and only one site stood out. Lucky for me, Morgan has a very kind nature and enjoys helping out fellow writers.


Aww... Now I'm gonna need a tissue. sniff

Morgan Hawke
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Purveyor of fine Smut.
DarkErotica.Net ~ My Website
DarkErotica Blog ~ My Writers' blog

"If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough."
Albert Einstein

nicola
Posted: Friday, June 03, 2011 3:28:42 PM

Rank: Matriarch

Joined: 12/6/2006
Posts: 25,568
Location: The Orgasmatron
I didn't know you are an artist. My mother has been one full time for over 30 years. My creativity came out in other ways icon_smile
MorganHawke
Posted: Thursday, June 09, 2011 5:51:42 PM

Rank: First Person Smartass

Joined: 2/8/2011
Posts: 347
Location: The suburbs.
nicola wrote:
I didn't know you are an artist. My mother has been one full time for over 30 years. My creativity came out in other ways icon_smile


I do art for my own enjoyment because my skills are not anywhere good enough to be Professional.
-- I am a far, far better writer.

Examples:

Full sized image.


Full sized image.



Morgan Hawke
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Purveyor of fine Smut.
DarkErotica.Net ~ My Website
DarkErotica Blog ~ My Writers' blog

"If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough."
Albert Einstein

nicola
Posted: Thursday, June 09, 2011 6:05:30 PM

Rank: Matriarch

Joined: 12/6/2006
Posts: 25,568
Location: The Orgasmatron
I like the second one in particular.

I see you're heavily influenced by anime. Have you been to Japan?
MorganHawke
Posted: Thursday, June 09, 2011 6:08:21 PM

Rank: First Person Smartass

Joined: 2/8/2011
Posts: 347
Location: The suburbs.
nicola wrote:
I like the second one in particular.

I see you're heavily influenced by anime. Have you been to Japan?


I have indeed been heavily influence by anime.
-- No, I haven't been to Japan -- yet, but I do like their anime art.

Morgan Hawke
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Purveyor of fine Smut.
DarkErotica.Net ~ My Website
DarkErotica Blog ~ My Writers' blog

"If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough."
Albert Einstein

nicola
Posted: Thursday, June 09, 2011 6:12:40 PM

Rank: Matriarch

Joined: 12/6/2006
Posts: 25,568
Location: The Orgasmatron
I'd wait before travelling to Japan any day soon. Despite what the govt says, I've read that it will not be until January next year that the stricken nuclear reactor will actually be safe, and it will take around a decade to decommission all those thousands of stockpiled fuel rods, which should never have been allowed to sit there all this time in the first place.
MorganHawke
Posted: Thursday, June 09, 2011 6:35:10 PM

Rank: First Person Smartass

Joined: 2/8/2011
Posts: 347
Location: The suburbs.
nicola wrote:
I'd wait before travelling to Japan any day soon. Despite what the govt says, I've read that it will not be until January next year that the stricken nuclear reactor will actually be safe, and it will take around a decade to decommission all those thousands of stockpiled fuel rods, which should never have been allowed to sit there all this time in the first place.


I have been reading about that on the various news sites.
-- Scary how they let those just sit there for so long. My guess is that they simply didn't know what to do with them. There's no place on that tiny chain of islands that they can bury it. Every inch is covered in people.

Morgan Hawke
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Purveyor of fine Smut.
DarkErotica.Net ~ My Website
DarkErotica Blog ~ My Writers' blog

"If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough."
Albert Einstein

Guest
Posted: Thursday, June 09, 2011 11:08:06 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,826
Re: Art

Those are beautiful, Miss Hawke! How very kind of you to share them with us. : )

I'm guessing Ookami Kasumi is another of your noms de plume?
nicola
Posted: Saturday, June 11, 2011 2:34:21 PM

Rank: Matriarch

Joined: 12/6/2006
Posts: 25,568
Location: The Orgasmatron
stormblue wrote:
I'm guessing Ookami Kasumi is another of your noms de plume?


I really don't like your inference there. Of course it is.
Guest
Posted: Saturday, June 11, 2011 3:52:53 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,826
There was no inference, nicola. Please stop being so suspicious! I just like to verify facts before I go thinking I know something. :P
GallagherWitt
Posted: Tuesday, June 14, 2011 4:52:48 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 3/16/2011
Posts: 99
Location: Okinawa, Japan
MorganHawke wrote:
nicola wrote:
I'd wait before travelling to Japan any day soon. Despite what the govt says, I've read that it will not be until January next year that the stricken nuclear reactor will actually be safe, and it will take around a decade to decommission all those thousands of stockpiled fuel rods, which should never have been allowed to sit there all this time in the first place.


I have been reading about that on the various news sites.
-- Scary how they let those just sit there for so long. My guess is that they simply didn't know what to do with them. There's no place on that tiny chain of islands that they can bury it. Every inch is covered in people.


Most nuclear plants have significant numbers of rods just stored, mostly because it's so difficult to dispose of them. There's a lot of controversy and red tape surrounding where/how it's safe to dispose of or transport them, so they're kept in nuclear facilities until that's worked out. Which is fine, sort of...until a massive earthquake/tsunami hits.

I understand it's safe to travel *through* Japan right now -- hell, my parents went through Narita (Tokyo) on the way to see me about a week after the quake -- but I'm opting not to take all those trips up to the mainland that I had planned for this summer. I'll go through Narita en route back to the States, but...I think I'll stay down here on Okinawa where it's safe.

Lori
L. A. Witt (gay male erotic romance)
Lauren Gallagher (heterosexual erotic romance)
Twitter: GallagherWitt
My Website * My Blog * Marginally Unhinged (my webcomic)

"Service with a Smirk, that's you." - Morgan Hawke
nicola
Posted: Tuesday, June 14, 2011 4:45:20 PM

Rank: Matriarch

Joined: 12/6/2006
Posts: 25,568
Location: The Orgasmatron
I'm glad you're safe Lori. I thought the entire chain was susceptible to tsunamis and earthquakes?

At least you're well away from the radiation.

New Zealand has now been put on high alert, people are flocking out of Christchurch. That city might end up abandoned, if all the reports on the news are true.
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, June 14, 2011 6:10:49 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,826
Reminds me of an early exercise in writing where you take the simplest thing and identify all the parts to an action. Brushing one's teeth for example.

The chill on the handle in the early morning, the somewhat confusing state one is in while doing this and how your muscle memory just acts. The slight sting of the tooth paste on the gums, the feeling of cleanliness after you're done. The slight pop in the dental floss as it grooves in between the teeth, and then messages the gums.

Simple things can be explained in great descriptive length. Then take two people and all the complexities involved.

Mmm, scrumptious.

GallagherWitt
Posted: Wednesday, June 15, 2011 5:44:09 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 3/16/2011
Posts: 99
Location: Okinawa, Japan
nicola wrote:
I'm glad you're safe Lori. I thought the entire chain was susceptible to tsunamis and earthquakes?

At least you're well away from the radiation.

New Zealand has now been put on high alert, people are flocking out of Christchurch. That city might end up abandoned, if all the reports on the news are true.


The whole chain is susceptible to tsunamis and earthquakes, but we were unaffected by March's disaster. We had a large quake here last year, but not enough to cause damage or injury. Seems like typhoons are going to be our problem this year.

Scary what's going on in Christchurch. I feel for the people there!

Lori
L. A. Witt (gay male erotic romance)
Lauren Gallagher (heterosexual erotic romance)
Twitter: GallagherWitt
My Website * My Blog * Marginally Unhinged (my webcomic)

"Service with a Smirk, that's you." - Morgan Hawke
MorganHawke
Posted: Wednesday, June 15, 2011 10:05:13 AM

Rank: First Person Smartass

Joined: 2/8/2011
Posts: 347
Location: The suburbs.
stormblue wrote:
Re: Art

I'm guessing Ookami Kasumi is another of your noms de plume?


Yes indeed, Ookami Kasumi is me.
-- Like many people who spend half their lives on the 'net, I have more than one identity.

Morgan Hawke
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Purveyor of fine Smut.
DarkErotica.Net ~ My Website
DarkErotica Blog ~ My Writers' blog

"If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough."
Albert Einstein

MorganHawke
Posted: Wednesday, June 15, 2011 10:06:10 AM

Rank: First Person Smartass

Joined: 2/8/2011
Posts: 347
Location: The suburbs.
nicola wrote:
stormblue wrote:
I'm guessing Ookami Kasumi is another of your noms de plume?


I really don't like your inference there. Of course it is.


Awww! You're so cute when you're fierce!

Morgan Hawke
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Purveyor of fine Smut.
DarkErotica.Net ~ My Website
DarkErotica Blog ~ My Writers' blog

"If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough."
Albert Einstein

MorganHawke
Posted: Wednesday, June 15, 2011 10:09:06 AM

Rank: First Person Smartass

Joined: 2/8/2011
Posts: 347
Location: The suburbs.
nicola wrote:
New Zealand has now been put on high alert, people are flocking out of Christchurch. That city might end up abandoned, if all the reports on the news are true.


I hope YOU are okay?
-- Screw the rest of the country, we can not afford to lose YOU.

Morgan Hawke
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Purveyor of fine Smut.
DarkErotica.Net ~ My Website
DarkErotica Blog ~ My Writers' blog

"If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough."
Albert Einstein

MorganHawke
Posted: Wednesday, June 15, 2011 10:14:11 AM

Rank: First Person Smartass

Joined: 2/8/2011
Posts: 347
Location: The suburbs.
eviotis wrote:
Reminds me of an early exercise in writing where you take the simplest thing and identify all the parts to an action. Brushing one's teeth for example...


That's exactly what this is. However in addition, by saying it out loud to a running movie, you also learn how to make those descriptions Brief -- something vitally important yet Always Overlooked when they teach how to write Fiction.

eviotis wrote:
Simple things can be explained in great descriptive length. Then take two people and all the complexities involved.


Exactly! Which is why description, while absolutely necessary, still needs to be brief.

eviotis wrote:
Mmm, scrumptious.


Thank you!

Morgan Hawke
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Purveyor of fine Smut.
DarkErotica.Net ~ My Website
DarkErotica Blog ~ My Writers' blog

"If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough."
Albert Einstein

nicola
Posted: Wednesday, June 15, 2011 3:57:20 PM

Rank: Matriarch

Joined: 12/6/2006
Posts: 25,568
Location: The Orgasmatron
MorganHawke wrote:
I hope YOU are okay?
-- Screw the rest of the country, we can not afford to lose YOU.


I'm fine, I don't think Sydney, Australia has ever had an earthquake. A whale turned up in the harbour a few years ago, I think that's about as exciting as it gets!

MorganHawke wrote:
Awww! You're so cute when you're fierce!


lol. You sound like an ex of mine.
MorganHawke
Posted: Wednesday, June 15, 2011 5:58:00 PM

Rank: First Person Smartass

Joined: 2/8/2011
Posts: 347
Location: The suburbs.
nicola wrote:
MorganHawke wrote:
Awww! You're so cute when you're fierce!


lol. You sound like an ex of mine.


Hopefully only the Good parts of that ex?

Morgan Hawke
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Purveyor of fine Smut.
DarkErotica.Net ~ My Website
DarkErotica Blog ~ My Writers' blog

"If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough."
Albert Einstein

nicola
Posted: Wednesday, June 15, 2011 9:40:43 PM

Rank: Matriarch

Joined: 12/6/2006
Posts: 25,568
Location: The Orgasmatron
He had his moments!
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