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How long should you wait to say I love you Options · View
stang
Posted: Saturday, July 11, 2009 3:20:56 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/29/2009
Posts: 1,826
to all Lush memebers How long should you wait if your in a new relationship to say I LOVE YOU. I feel the term is just thrown around now a days what do you all think?
rxtales
Posted: Saturday, July 11, 2009 3:26:31 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 11/28/2008
Posts: 2,589
Location: Newcastle, United Kingdom
Depends on how I feel about the person. I won't say it to someone unless that's the way I feel because I don't want someone to get the wrong impression of how I feel about them. There have been a few occasions when someone has said I love you and I have just said thankyou back, because I don't feel the same way. But I do say love ya to friends at the end of phone calls sometimes, but that's a different kind of love you.
Lisa
Posted: Saturday, July 11, 2009 3:30:01 PM

Rank: Moderator

Joined: 3/3/2009
Posts: 5,190
Location: Victoria, Australia
I don't think there needs to be a certain time frame, but I'd only say it if I really meant it and if I was pretty sure the other person felt the same way.
Guest
Posted: Saturday, July 11, 2009 4:02:20 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,966
Say it whenever you mean it. Don't say it before, but don't wait and end up regretting your silence.
Guest
Posted: Saturday, July 11, 2009 5:55:27 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,966
You're on your own with this one, Stang. It's not something you can look up in a book. Both partners have to feel free to say it and mean it. And when it does happen with both people feeling it, it's a Great Thing.
castlequeen
Posted: Sunday, July 12, 2009 2:23:23 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/24/2009
Posts: 590
It happened on our fourth date, (which is chronicled in my stories), but every one is different. One of my best friends told him on their very first date, and they've been happily married for 15 years. Only you know if it's the right time.

"A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere." - Groucho Marx
Guest
Posted: Sunday, July 12, 2009 2:28:11 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,966
I said I love you to a boyfriend after dating for 10 months and when I said it he just looked at me and said nothing............... wow I tell you I have never felt more crushed inside. I won't be telling somebody I love you so willingly next time.
MMonroe
Posted: Sunday, July 12, 2009 12:23:47 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/10/2009
Posts: 1,893
Location: United Kingdom
rxtales wrote:
Depends on how I feel about the person. I won't say it to someone unless that's the way I feel because I don't want someone to get the wrong impression of how I feel about them.


I won't say it unless I absolutely mean it. My last boyfriend told me long before I told him and everytime he would say it, I'd just say thanks. Felt like a bitch but its better than him thinking I love him more than I do.

There is no set of rules or guidelines in reationships just do what you want and when you're ready.



*Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable?*



Birdie
Posted: Sunday, July 12, 2009 5:06:55 PM

Rank: Lush Legend

Joined: 8/18/2008
Posts: 2,067
Dont say it. Ever. PROVE IT.
Guest
Posted: Sunday, July 12, 2009 6:44:13 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,966
Lil_Birdie wrote:
Dont say it. Ever. PROVE IT.


never? seems like you'd really miss out on great moments by never saying it.

I love telling my man that I love him, especially knowing he loves me too. :)
Birdie
Posted: Sunday, July 12, 2009 7:19:46 PM

Rank: Lush Legend

Joined: 8/18/2008
Posts: 2,067
I believe great moments come from what people show you and prove to you every day. It means more to me than three words that really do get tossed around a little too quickly.
Guest
Posted: Sunday, July 12, 2009 7:28:10 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,966
I agree birdie...it does get thrown around too much, but it doesn't cheapen the three words on those occasions where it's sincere. Actions speak louder than words, but I would miss those words terribly if they were never uttered.
Catnip
Posted: Sunday, July 12, 2009 8:28:09 PM

Rank: Internet Sensation

Joined: 3/30/2009
Posts: 3,969
Location: Cloudy dreams., Sweden
AS the others have said. Wait till it feels rigt for you, and when you know that it's really what you feel.

I used to whisper "I love you" for over half a year to a person when I was certain he was sleeping before I dared saying it to him in person.
On the other hand, you won't get thoose words tossed at you as more than a friend before I mean it and only at the occasion when I feel it.
I don't go on auto reply on that line if it's said to me.

AgaruTomo
Posted: Thursday, July 16, 2009 12:18:08 PM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 10/13/2008
Posts: 8
It completely depends on the relationship. My boyfriend and I knew each other for six months previous to becoming a couple, and it didn't really take very long for both of us to feel comfortable with saying something like that. There are all kinds of love, and even though the saying is tossed around like a foot ball these days, when I find that I care about a person so much that I don't have to guard myself at all around them... that's when I feel that I can say it...
Guest
Posted: Thursday, July 16, 2009 1:32:01 PM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,966
Well said, Agaru.
Guest
Posted: Thursday, July 16, 2009 1:43:45 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,966
Say it when you feel it. Open up your heart. Don't wonder if the other person feels the same way. Go for broke. Be a man. Balls to the wall.

Read Plato's Symposium for more on love.
DBarclay
Posted: Thursday, July 16, 2009 1:58:22 PM

Rank: Mr Nobody

Joined: 2/28/2008
Posts: 946
Location: Florida, United States
Every time I say that or similar ... The wife puts her hand on her hips and says
..carry on ...lets hear the bullshit now ... no faith that women
Guest
Posted: Thursday, July 16, 2009 2:33:33 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,966
q_and_a wrote:
Say it when you feel it. Open up your heart. Don't wonder if the other person feels the same way. Go for broke. Be a man. Balls to the wall.

Read Plato's Symposium for more on love.


Just been looking up Plato wow there is plenty of reading matter there lot's to read.
Guest
Posted: Thursday, July 16, 2009 2:38:30 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,966
DBarclay wrote:
Every time I say that or similar ... The wife puts her hand on her hips and says
..carry on ...lets hear the bullshit now ... no faith that women


I get the impression from your descriptions of her that your wife is a famous TV personality:

DBarclay
Posted: Thursday, July 16, 2009 3:36:20 PM

Rank: Mr Nobody

Joined: 2/28/2008
Posts: 946
Location: Florida, United States
ali2teaseu wrote:
DBarclay wrote:
Every time I say that or similar ... The wife puts her hand on her hips and says
..carry on ...lets hear the bullshit now ... no faith that women


I get the impression from your descriptions of her that your wife is a famous TV personality:




Iknooooooooooooooooow Noooooothing
tampmark122
Posted: Friday, August 21, 2009 6:36:04 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/19/2009
Posts: 278
Location: boston, United States
HoneyBee000 wrote:
I said I love you to a boyfriend after dating for 10 months and when I said it he just looked at me and said nothing............... wow I tell you I have never felt more crushed inside. I won't be telling somebody I love you so willingly next time.


wow i kow how you feel the same thing happened to me ,ive told her i loved her many times .but during a phone conversation ,and i dont even remember how it came up but i wanted her to know exactly how much i loved her and said i love you so much id marry you today,well her response was to start laughing .i was heart broken .when i told her the next day how that made me feel , she said she didnt know what to say to that and i caught her off guard with a remark like that .we are still together a year later and i feel the same way .
Guest
Posted: Saturday, August 22, 2009 1:02:29 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,966
You'll feel it in your heart. You should say "I Love You" whenever you think of her and it takes your breath away. You should say it when you cant get through an hour without thinking of her. When someone asks you how your day is going and if you've talked to her it's going awesome, if you haven't your day is simply okay.
You'll know when the right time is.

Just trust your heart.love7
Rayne<3
runonwords
Posted: Saturday, August 22, 2009 3:48:12 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/7/2009
Posts: 1,087
Location: Winnipeg, Manitoba
TaintedRainebow wrote:


Just trust your heart.love7
Rayne<3



So true!

rr
mercianknight
Posted: Tuesday, September 01, 2009 11:37:06 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/11/2009
Posts: 2,029
Location: whispering conspiratorially in your ear, Bermuda
Durrasch wrote:
Say it whenever you mean it. Don't say it before, but don't wait and end up regretting your silence.


Never a truer word(s) spoken.

"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element

"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, September 01, 2009 2:58:08 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,966
I do not believe there is a time frame for this. It simply needs to be genuinely and truly felt before the words are spoken. It should never be said to speed up or change the direction of a relationship.
ArtMan
Posted: Saturday, July 16, 2011 10:33:51 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/29/2011
Posts: 640
Location: South Florida, United States
100 years or until your are dead. Say "I love you" and she may marry you, then its hell on earth.

You are invited to read Passionate Danger, Part II, a story collaboration by Kim and ArtMan.
http://www.lushstories.com/stories/straight-sex/passionate-danger-part-ii.aspx

PaperGangster
Posted: Sunday, July 17, 2011 1:43:54 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 4/16/2010
Posts: 81
i waited 6 months. but that's when it just FELT right. i would never say it without that gut feeling, though.
Guest
Posted: Sunday, July 17, 2011 6:37:55 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,966
when your words flow into your hearts from your tongue
myself
Posted: Sunday, July 17, 2011 6:49:23 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/17/2010
Posts: 966
Location: .showyourdick.org/
Guest wrote:
Say it whenever you mean it. Don't say it before, but don't wait and end up regretting your silence.


this : )

Torture the data long enough and they will confess to anything.
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, July 19, 2011 7:45:22 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,966
Ah, love. I agree with most of you all, say it when you feel it. Truly. However you must first know the difference between love and lust.
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