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GallagherWitt
Posted: Tuesday, August 16, 2011 3:56:11 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 3/16/2011
Posts: 99
Location: Okinawa, Japan
Like Morgan, I'm on crunch time to finish some books on deadlines, but I'm trying to work in the time to write some articles to post here. It's a nice break, especially when my book is giving me fits, which it is.

Is there anything in particular members want information/tips/pointers on?

Lori
L. A. Witt (gay male erotic romance)
Lauren Gallagher (heterosexual erotic romance)
Twitter: GallagherWitt
My Website * My Blog * Marginally Unhinged (my webcomic)

"Service with a Smirk, that's you." - Morgan Hawke
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, August 16, 2011 1:37:03 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,704
GallagherWitt wrote:
Like Morgan, I'm on crunch time to finish some books on deadlines, but I'm trying to work in the time to write some articles to post here. It's a nice break, especially when my book is giving me fits, which it is.

Is there anything in particular members want information/tips/pointers on?


No bake, no muss, no fuss chocolate chip cookie recipes. Also a really hot Asian stud to bake, present and drop them into my eagerly awaiting mouth.

That was what you meant, wasn't it?
nicola
Posted: Tuesday, August 16, 2011 2:56:22 PM

Rank: Matriarch

Joined: 12/6/2006
Posts: 25,561
Location: The Orgasmatron
A bit too cryptic that one Gypsy, even for me!

Would anyone here like some advice about a particular writing related topic?

clum
Posted: Tuesday, August 16, 2011 4:11:03 PM

Rank: Clumeleon

Joined: 5/13/2011
Posts: 4,636
Location: Edinburgh, United Kingdom
There was a discussion in another forum (Ask The Author, I believe) about writing in the present tense. Lots of people said how they found this style difficult to read, but others commented that it can be very effective when done well.

I think a lot of people might benefit (I know I would) from an article on how to write good present tense prose, when it is appropriate and what effects it can create. Just a thought.

Every day is a school day.
kochankatulipan
Posted: Tuesday, August 16, 2011 4:24:44 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/11/2011
Posts: 148
I write for my own enjoyment but would love to become a published writer of erotic short stories. Are there publications that welcome new authors?
nicola
Posted: Tuesday, August 16, 2011 4:48:18 PM

Rank: Matriarch

Joined: 12/6/2006
Posts: 25,561
Location: The Orgasmatron
kochankatulipan wrote:
I write for my own enjoyment but would love to become a published writer of erotic short stories. Are there publications that welcome new authors?


Publishers: http://www.lushstories.com/forum/yaf_postst4568_Romance-Publishers--Advice.aspx

Publications - it's easy enough to do your homework and find magazine publishers who have erotica sections in their mags.
RumpleForeskin
Posted: Tuesday, August 16, 2011 6:18:20 PM

Rank: The Right Rev of Lush

Joined: 7/3/2009
Posts: 2,903
Location: Lost in the ozone somewhere east of Luckenbach Tx,
Way back when, I posted an article in Writer's Resources(?) with a title along the lines of "How To Be A Happy Hooker" which rambled on about opening lines 'hooks' in fiction. Based on a random sampling of recent Lush story openings, another such effort might be in order. Just a thought.

Rumple

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. - ROBERT HEINLEIN

Feels So Right, It Can't Be WrongMore steamy, seductive, straight step-sibling sex, 2-3

FROM:
Becky -- FOR: Matt -- With Love:
a Festive contest winner – honest

HOW HUMANS DO IT: a fish-eye view of sex an Editor's Pick - no kidding
nicola
Posted: Tuesday, August 16, 2011 8:22:02 PM

Rank: Matriarch

Joined: 12/6/2006
Posts: 25,561
Location: The Orgasmatron
DirtyMartini
Posted: Tuesday, August 16, 2011 10:43:18 PM

Rank: Purveyor of Poetry & Porn

Joined: 10/19/2009
Posts: 5,791
Location: Right here on Lush Stories..., United States
nicola wrote:


Would anyone here like some advice about a particular writing related topic?



Lol...something tells me that's what G-W had in mind when she posed the question...not cookie recipes...happy8

Trying to think of something Morgan hasn't already covered, and I think Mr. Rumpskin's suggestion about good opening hooks might be a worthwhile idea...

Though I have to say that "I grabbed my meat pole and started stroking the moment my sister entered the room" works fine for most of the stories on Lush...

Just saying...icon_smile


You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories

Jingle
Posted: Tuesday, August 16, 2011 11:11:24 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/8/2011
Posts: 164
Location: In my favourite blankey.
How about something on sentence structure? I can't remember seeing anything in this section on that... And if there is and I missed it, sorry in advance. d'oh!

I'm not even sure how to elaborate on what I'm talking about, that's how backwoods I am on the subject. confused1

Here's an example, though. You know those paragraphs you sometimes come across that read like a list?

Quote:
She walked into the room. She found the couch and sat on it. She took out her deck of cards and began to do magic tricks. She liked how the cards were flat. She was suddenly transported into another dimension by underpants gnomes who had been hiding beneath her skirt the whole time.


That. How do people fix that?

DirtyMartini
Posted: Tuesday, August 16, 2011 11:18:51 PM

Rank: Purveyor of Poetry & Porn

Joined: 10/19/2009
Posts: 5,791
Location: Right here on Lush Stories..., United States
Jingle wrote:


That. How do people fix that?


I would start by not using the same word to begin each sentence...that would make a huge difference right there...

"She walked into the room, found the couch and sat on it. Taking out her deck of cards, she began to do magic tricks. She liked how the cards were flat. Suddenly she was transported into another dimension by underpants gnomes who had been hiding beneath her skirt the whole time."

You know Jingle...I'd really like to see you finish that story...we haven't had a good underpants gnome story here on Lush in quite some time...happy8


You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories

RumpleForeskin
Posted: Wednesday, August 17, 2011 3:42:36 AM

Rank: The Right Rev of Lush

Joined: 7/3/2009
Posts: 2,903
Location: Lost in the ozone somewhere east of Luckenbach Tx,
DM, you are on a roll. :)

Hard to beat a good "meat pole" grabbing and stroking opening. And I second your motion (bet you thought I'd say, emotion, didn't you?) concerning J's story.

RR

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. - ROBERT HEINLEIN

Feels So Right, It Can't Be WrongMore steamy, seductive, straight step-sibling sex, 2-3

FROM:
Becky -- FOR: Matt -- With Love:
a Festive contest winner – honest

HOW HUMANS DO IT: a fish-eye view of sex an Editor's Pick - no kidding
clum
Posted: Wednesday, August 17, 2011 4:12:58 AM

Rank: Clumeleon

Joined: 5/13/2011
Posts: 4,636
Location: Edinburgh, United Kingdom
I think we're on the verge of a new story category: Underpants Gnome Sex. Think of the ratings if you made said gnomes incestuous!

At the very least, we've got a new competition on our hands, right?

Every day is a school day.
DirtyMartini
Posted: Wednesday, August 17, 2011 9:40:17 AM

Rank: Purveyor of Poetry & Porn

Joined: 10/19/2009
Posts: 5,791
Location: Right here on Lush Stories..., United States
clum wrote:
I think we're on the verge of a new story category: Underpants Gnome Sex. Think of the ratings if you made said gnomes incestuous!


You know, I can think of quite a few new story categories without really trying...that might be a good idea for a new thread of a humorous nature...suggest new categories on Lush...happy8




You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories

RumpleForeskin
Posted: Thursday, August 18, 2011 8:03:58 AM

Rank: The Right Rev of Lush

Joined: 7/3/2009
Posts: 2,903
Location: Lost in the ozone somewhere east of Luckenbach Tx,
Just finished a story that might have earned a five had it not been for virtually every other sentence beginning with an introductory prepositional clause: Putting down the book..., Getting off the couch..., Walking into the room..., .
This rather arcan subject may just be my peeve, however, and not of interest to many others. Just a suggestion.e

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. - ROBERT HEINLEIN

Feels So Right, It Can't Be WrongMore steamy, seductive, straight step-sibling sex, 2-3

FROM:
Becky -- FOR: Matt -- With Love:
a Festive contest winner – honest

HOW HUMANS DO IT: a fish-eye view of sex an Editor's Pick - no kidding
clum
Posted: Thursday, August 18, 2011 8:32:53 AM

Rank: Clumeleon

Joined: 5/13/2011
Posts: 4,636
Location: Edinburgh, United Kingdom
I'm with you, Rumple, repetitive types of sentences quickly come to your attention and distract from the story. You've got to mix it up, people.

Every day is a school day.
GallagherWitt
Posted: Friday, August 19, 2011 1:16:40 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 3/16/2011
Posts: 99
Location: Okinawa, Japan
DirtyMartini wrote:
Jingle wrote:


That. How do people fix that?


I would start by not using the same word to begin each sentence...that would make a huge difference right there...

"She walked into the room, found the couch and sat on it. Taking out her deck of cards, she began to do magic tricks. She liked how the cards were flat. Suddenly she was transported into another dimension by underpants gnomes who had been hiding beneath her skirt the whole time."

You know Jingle...I'd really like to see you finish that story...we haven't had a good underpants gnome story here on Lush in quite some time...happy8


Yep, what DM said. And I'm all for underpants gnome stories.

I'll add sentence structure to my list, though.

Lori
L. A. Witt (gay male erotic romance)
Lauren Gallagher (heterosexual erotic romance)
Twitter: GallagherWitt
My Website * My Blog * Marginally Unhinged (my webcomic)

"Service with a Smirk, that's you." - Morgan Hawke
GallagherWitt
Posted: Friday, August 19, 2011 1:18:41 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 3/16/2011
Posts: 99
Location: Okinawa, Japan
clum wrote:
I'm with you, Rumple, repetitive types of sentences quickly come to your attention and distract from the story. You've got to mix it up, people.


Agreed.

Thanks for the suggestions, folks. Not sure how soon I'll be able to post something, but I'll try to get an article or two up ASAP. I'm stapled to a couple of deadlines and working on moving from Okinawa to the States, so as you can imagine, life's a little hectic. Soon, though. :D

Lori
L. A. Witt (gay male erotic romance)
Lauren Gallagher (heterosexual erotic romance)
Twitter: GallagherWitt
My Website * My Blog * Marginally Unhinged (my webcomic)

"Service with a Smirk, that's you." - Morgan Hawke
nicola
Posted: Friday, August 19, 2011 6:58:41 AM

Rank: Matriarch

Joined: 12/6/2006
Posts: 25,561
Location: The Orgasmatron
There's no urgency, you guys should concentrate on the job at hand. icon_smile
Mistress_of_words
Posted: Friday, August 19, 2011 7:54:10 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/14/2011
Posts: 591
Location: At my keyboard, writing stories for you
RumpleForeskin wrote:
Just finished a story that might have earned a five had it not been for virtually every other sentence beginning with an introductory prepositional clause: Putting down the book..., Getting off the couch..., Walking into the room..., .
This rather arcan subject may just be my peeve, however, and not of interest to many others. Just a suggestion.e


I'm with you on that. I've read a few things advising against using it, or at least using in moderation, and I'm not just talking about the repetition issue.

The word "as" raises some of the same issues; it makes a portion of the action subordinate/dependent. Both constructions also infer two actions occurring simultaneously, but I see a lot of authors using it for two pieces of action which are not concurrent and in fact could not be concurrent.

I think some of the lush community might benefit from some advise as to why it reduces the quality of their writing, how to spot it and how they could try and work around it.

Mistress_of_words
Posted: Friday, August 19, 2011 8:07:15 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/14/2011
Posts: 591
Location: At my keyboard, writing stories for you
A couple of other things I know we've discussed here before but I'm not sure they ever got an entire post:

Dialogue Mechanics

Tenses

I see a lot of stories where every single line of dialogue is appended with "he replied", "she demanded", "he stated" etc. I wonder if a piece on dialogue mechanics pitched at a more basic entry level might be helpful.

Regarding tenses, it's all very well discussing the pros and cons of present and past tense and so on, but there are plenty of stories submitted here where the author has struggled to simple stay in a consistent tense. From what I've seen most people get hung up on the "-ing" suffix thinking that it is, in itself, present tense (or past tense), but actually that suffix can be any tense depending on the context. I think an entry level piece on tenses might be be good as something we could point these authors to as a place to get advice, along with explaining why staying in a consistent tense is important.

These are both things I'd be up for taking a stab at myself and posting in the writers resources section, if anyone would be interested.

clum
Posted: Friday, August 19, 2011 8:29:41 AM

Rank: Clumeleon

Joined: 5/13/2011
Posts: 4,636
Location: Edinburgh, United Kingdom
Mistress_of_words wrote:
These are both things I'd be up for taking a stab at myself and posting in the writers resources section, if anyone would be interested.


I'd be interested. The more help and advice available to writers here, the better quality the writing will be (in theory). Both the topics you suggested (and your examples) are things I am increasingly conscious of as I am developing my writing.

I look forward to your posts, if you decide to do them.

Every day is a school day.
nicola
Posted: Wednesday, November 30, 2011 10:32:57 PM

Rank: Matriarch

Joined: 12/6/2006
Posts: 25,561
Location: The Orgasmatron
Michael
Posted: Friday, December 02, 2011 5:21:31 AM

Rank: Author

Joined: 10/22/2011
Posts: 2,005
Location: Expat in, Russia
Perhaps an article on removing the most often overused word in story writing would be beneficial ?

Said



nicola
Posted: Monday, December 05, 2011 3:49:43 PM

Rank: Matriarch

Joined: 12/6/2006
Posts: 25,561
Location: The Orgasmatron
That's not a bad idea FtlMale.

I use the thesaurus a lot. I was taught not to use the same word twice in a sentence. That also goes for paragraphs, although you get more leeway there of course.
DLizze
Posted: Monday, December 05, 2011 5:19:13 PM

Rank: Story Verifier

Joined: 4/23/2011
Posts: 2,552
I seem to recall an article (probably by White) in which he was talking about either Time or Newsweek magazine. He said, "Backwards ran the sentences, until reeled the senses."

"There's only three tempos: slow, medium and fast. When you get between in the cracks, ain't nuthin' happenin'." Ben Webster
Cheltenham
Posted: Monday, December 19, 2011 5:32:19 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 6/8/2010
Posts: 49
Location: Living vicariously, United States
Quote:
She walked into the room. She found the couch and sat on it. She took out her deck of cards and began to do magic tricks. She liked how the cards were flat. She was suddenly transported into another dimension by underpants gnomes who had been hiding beneath her skirt the whole time.


"She walked into a room decorated in decadence. The drapes were torn, their carpeting looked to have seen better days. Every item of furniture was in disrepair except for the couch. It remained the only thing in the room that held itself up. Cautiously, the woman sat on it and took out her deck of cards. She liked how they were flat. The backs of them displayed etchings of cat faces which barely reflected the dim lighting above. As her hands shuffled them briefly, she began to do magic tricks. Suddenly, she was transported to another dimension by underpants gnomes who had been hiding beneath her skirt the entire time."

^That is how I would fix that.coffee

A smidgen of detail helps to diminish any bland or repetitive wording. But this isn't always the case.


I'm too particular about things like this. I don't think I can suggest something for a new article other than one on proper punctuation (unless there is already one). I admit, my technical sense wants to know where commas "should" be inserted, how to use a semicolon, when to hyphenate a word or words, things like that.

I proofread for a few authors (and have proofread here.) While I notice my own mistakes, I tend to frequently overlook someone else's.

EDIT:
There's an article on commas: http://www.lushstories.com/forum/yaf_postst15458_An-Unkindness-of-COMMAS.aspx but I was hoping for an overview of basic punctuation rules.

Well I hope I never figure out
Who broke your heart ~ Baby if I do
Well I'd spend all night losing sleep
I'd spend the night and I'd lose my mind
DirtyMartini
Posted: Tuesday, December 20, 2011 8:38:18 PM

Rank: Purveyor of Poetry & Porn

Joined: 10/19/2009
Posts: 5,791
Location: Right here on Lush Stories..., United States
nicola wrote:


I use the thesaurus a lot. I was taught not to use the same word twice in a sentence. That also goes for paragraphs, although you get more leeway there of course.


Thesauruses are cool...I happen to like this one, because it's a whole bunch of stuff in one...check out the drop down list...
http://www.rhymezone.com/

And yeah, I try not to use the same word too often...if I think about it...


You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories

Michael
Posted: Wednesday, December 21, 2011 8:08:40 AM

Rank: Author

Joined: 10/22/2011
Posts: 2,005
Location: Expat in, Russia
Thanks Alan, I bookmarked it...
But sometimes even a thesauruses isn't able to help...
"Helicopter" once is fine, but chopper, eggbeater, whirlybird? Somehow using them in the same line, paragraph or even story just sounds wrong.

But then I am still trying to figure out Capitonym. Do I drink Scotch or scotch?



DirtyMartini
Posted: Wednesday, December 21, 2011 12:53:03 PM

Rank: Purveyor of Poetry & Porn

Joined: 10/19/2009
Posts: 5,791
Location: Right here on Lush Stories..., United States
FtLMale wrote:

"Helicopter" once is fine, but chopper, eggbeater, whirlybird? Somehow using them in the same line, paragraph or even story just sounds wrong.

But then I am still trying to figure out Capitonym. Do I drink Scotch or scotch?



Somehow I think that if you feel the need to use "helicopter" more than once in a line you may want to re-think your story...

I had to look up "Capitonym" btw...and you drink scotch...Scotch is a brand of tape...


You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories

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