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Being collared, what does it mean to you? Options · View
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, October 04, 2011 3:54:21 PM

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feel free to add opinions,thoughts,rants and otherwise here:) What does it mean to you? how did it happen?

All Doms/tops/mistress/masters/switches/bottoms/pets/subs of any kind welcome:)
MissyLuvsYa
Posted: Thursday, October 06, 2011 9:38:39 AM

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Location: somewhere on the coast, United States
Being collared? Isn't that followed by the police reading you your Miranda rights? LOL
"you have a right to be silent....If you need an attorney will will be provided to you....?"
Guest
Posted: Thursday, October 06, 2011 10:04:54 AM

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MissyLuvsYa wrote:
Being collared? Isn't that followed by the police reading you your Miranda rights? LOL
"you have a right to be silent....If you need an attorney will will be provided to you....?"


MLY .... that's handcuffed ...

though handcuffs can be used in a few other ways! *wink*

I think it is important to collar your animals, with a tag of licensing. Be sure to also have little poop bags for your walks. Thank you.
Guest
Posted: Thursday, October 06, 2011 10:15:32 AM

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MissyLuvsYa wrote:
Being collared? Isn't that followed by the police reading you your Miranda rights? LOL
"you have a right to be silent....If you need an attorney will will be provided to you....?"


Yes! That's exactly what it means!! Or, to get your collar felt - that means the same thing, getting caught, particularly by the police or any other authority figure.
Nikki703
Posted: Thursday, October 06, 2011 1:36:08 PM

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Location: The Other Side Of The Mirror
mazza wrote:
MissyLuvsYa wrote:
Being collared? Isn't that followed by the police reading you your Miranda rights? LOL
"you have a right to be silent....If you need an attorney will will be provided to you....?"


Yes! That's exactly what it means!! Or, to get your collar felt - that means the same thing, getting caught, particularly by the police or any other authority figure.


That is what I think of when I hear "collared" too. Maybe I watch too much Law and Order!!
Dudealicious
Posted: Thursday, October 06, 2011 1:55:21 PM

Rank: Wise Ass

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Posts: 5,413
Location: The center of the universe, Canada
Edit

It's a very special commitment in a D/s relationship and something not to be considered lightly.

The night that changed my life, a four part series of a married man lusting after his co-worker

Guest
Posted: Thursday, October 06, 2011 10:30:10 PM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,641
Dudealicious wrote:
Really I was thinking more of something like this! The original post mentioned pets____well it did!
]


that's what I saw too!!

Whistle
jwowman
Posted: Friday, October 07, 2011 4:53:35 AM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 8/27/2011
Posts: 8
Location: United States
It means giving your lover control to me. Inlove wearing a collar for my girlfriend. However I remember once when my girlfriend brought me dinner at work. In the bag was also a collar and leash for her. So it goes both ways for us!!drunken
SubTiggy
Posted: Friday, October 07, 2011 7:24:27 AM

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Location: Ask, and I might tell you., United States
My response is stolen directly from my post over in MistressS's forum topic BDSM 101...but I like what I said and feel it needs repeating...

Again, I have a wrist cuff, not a collar (work reasons) so..yeah

When my Sir gave me my cuff, I cried. When he put it on me for the first time, I sobbed and couldn't stop looking at it. It's beautiful and I am so so so lucky to have it. I wanted to belong, to have that connection, that symbol. And to know that He hand-crafted the pieces, and made one for each of us, it showed me his committment and how he felt about the situation. We didn't go into it lightly, and in having my cuff, I haven't stopped being a bratty sub. (what can I say, it's in my nature)

That being said, it does mean that I have a physical reminder of how much I mean to Him, and how much He means to me. When I'm not near Him, I have that reminder that I can hang onto.

I wear my cuff all the time, even when not with my Sir, and it's a wonderful feeling...knowing that I'm His. That I'm wanted, and loved, and needed. The cuff (collar) is a symbol of dedication--I know I can trust my Sir completely and in giving myself over to be collared, I exressed that trust. I trust Him to keep me safe and sane, to put me into my sub-space when I need it, or want it...and He trusts me to keep Him sane, and to give over control to Him. It's a physical thing...tangible...but it's more than that...


So this is what is feels like to like the idea and act of writing. Awesome!

If interested, check out my stories....especially proud of my new series...
swollen
Posted: Friday, October 07, 2011 7:34:16 AM

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Joined: 5/27/2010
Posts: 1,001
I actually chuckled when I read this.

Well, I'm with Mazza and Yahtzee on this one - in my house the only place you will ever find a collar, is on my dog ! That doesn't mean however, I don't like a bit of sexual submission from time to time - actually, thinking of it - a bit of sexual domination is quite nice sometimes too !

My opinion - in a caring and mutually rewarding sexual relationship, a collar just isn't, ever, going to add spice or be in the slightest bit necessary.
My 2 cents
Dancing_Doll
Posted: Friday, October 07, 2011 7:51:47 AM

Rank: Alpha Blonde

Joined: 2/17/2010
Posts: 6,268
Location: West Coast
I like wearing a collar and leash sometimes for dirty sex and role-play but for me it's just a moment in time, not a lifestyle.

So I have a question for the collard and cuffed people: Is this similar to an 'engagement ring' or 'marriage' of sorts. I'm not in the BDSM lifestyle, so I'm really just trying to understand the dynamics behind this concept. Also, how serious is this commitment viewed? Knowing that many/most relationships and marriages meet their eventual demise, I'm just wondering how difficult it would be for a sub/master relationship to end and what the "uncollaring" ritual entails? Also.. would a sub seek out another master to collar them or is this considered a 'once in a lifetime' commitment only? And lastly... can you be in a relationship or marriage to one person and be collared/cuffed to a different "master" or is this prohibited?



PrettyMom
Posted: Friday, October 07, 2011 8:18:57 AM

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Location: Eastern PA, United States
I am very curious about the answer to Doll's questions.
Guest
Posted: Friday, October 07, 2011 8:49:59 AM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,641
Dancing_Doll wrote:
I like wearing a collar and leash sometimes for dirty sex and role-play but for me it's just a moment in time, not a lifestyle.

So I have a question for the collard and cuffed people: Is this similar to an 'engagement ring' or 'marriage' of sorts. I'm not in the BDSM lifestyle, so I'm really just trying to understand the dynamics behind this concept. Also, how serious is this commitment viewed? Knowing that many/most relationships and marriages meet their eventual demise, I'm just wondering how difficult it would be for a sub/master relationship to end and what the "uncollaring" ritual entails? Also.. would a sub seek out another master to collar them or is this considered a 'once in a lifetime' commitment only? And lastly... can you be in a relationship or marriage to one person and be collared/cuffed to a different "master" or is this prohibited?


Lol, after reading subtiggy's post, I was thinking the exact same thing!!

Just sounds like a variation on an engagement ring... Not that that's a bad thing!

LadyX
Posted: Friday, October 07, 2011 8:56:56 AM

Rank: Artistic Tart

Joined: 9/25/2009
Posts: 4,827
Priests are collared, right?
Guest
Posted: Friday, October 07, 2011 9:07:27 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,641
Dancing Doll raises some of the questions that I have as well. I have known a few dominatrix, professional and lifestyle, and the question of will has always been the focus of our discussions. In our conversations they have expressed that when they have been given their partner's, or client's, will it is a profound moment. One that is very exciting and powerful, but it is mixed with a sense of gravity and great responsibility. So to give that moment reality, in the form of a collar or cuff, is something they did not take lightly. Although this is only from one perspective. I have probably met some submissives, but they have never revealed themselves as so. Hearing SubTiggy's or jwowman's account provides insight, and gives rise to new thoughts, hopefully they will lead to new questions.
Guest
Posted: Friday, October 07, 2011 4:07:22 PM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,641
Sorry, I found this today and just had to post it here...

Guest
Posted: Friday, October 07, 2011 4:16:18 PM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,641
Dancing_Doll wrote:
I like wearing a collar and leash sometimes for dirty sex and role-play but for me it's just a moment in time, not a lifestyle.

So I have a question for the collard and cuffed people: Is this similar to an 'engagement ring' or 'marriage' of sorts. I'm not in the BDSM lifestyle, so I'm really just trying to understand the dynamics behind this concept. Also, how serious is this commitment viewed? Knowing that many/most relationships and marriages meet their eventual demise, I'm just wondering how difficult it would be for a sub/master relationship to end and what the "uncollaring" ritual entails? Also.. would a sub seek out another master to collar them or is this considered a 'once in a lifetime' commitment only? And lastly... can you be in a relationship or marriage to one person and be collared/cuffed to a different "master" or is this prohibited?


Some of the same questions I have as well. I thought, could be wrong, that I saw the same woman on Lush collared to 2 different masters? How does that work? I thought you only had 1 master? Is this a common thing? Also, do you have masters and lovers as well, which is something I've seen on Lush more than once? I was always under the impression that each slave has 1 master, but the master could have more than 1 slave? He could also choose to share his slave if he wanted with someone, but that the slave wasn't in a relationship with anyone else. I guess, like any relationship, BDSM couples have different things that might work for them.
Guest
Posted: Friday, October 07, 2011 4:25:01 PM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
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Curlygirly wrote:

Some of the same questions I have as well. I thought, could be wrong, that I saw the same woman on Lush collared to 2 different masters? How does that work? I thought you only had 1 master? Is this a common thing? Also, do you have masters and lovers as well, which is something I've seen on Lush more than once? I was always under the impression that each slave has 1 master, but the master could have more than 1 slave? He could also choose to share his slave if he wanted with someone, but that the slave wasn't in a relationship with anyone else. I guess, like any relationship, BDSM couples have different things that might work for them.


Thanks CG for posting this. I know my original post was tongue in cheek, and it was directly in reference to the MANY subs/slaves [insert correct terminology] I have witnessed who say "I belong to/ am property of ______" and cyber/play around with number of other people who are not their Owner.

Upon further reflection of the various comments here, and around the forums, I don't understand the Game that well (obviously). I certainly can appreciate a different type of lifestyle from my own, and to each their own. As CG has stated, maybe there are different Rules to the Game depending on who/where/position and whatever else.

And for the record ... I don't think there are many men who could tame this woman .... :)

Fugly
Posted: Friday, October 07, 2011 5:58:28 PM

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Joined: 9/11/2010
Posts: 1,004
Dancing_Doll wrote:
I like wearing a collar and leash sometimes for dirty sex and role-play but for me it's just a moment in time, not a lifestyle.

So I have a question for the collard and cuffed people: Is this similar to an 'engagement ring' or 'marriage' of sorts. I'm not in the BDSM lifestyle, so I'm really just trying to understand the dynamics behind this concept. Also, how serious is this commitment viewed? Knowing that many/most relationships and marriages meet their eventual demise, I'm just wondering how difficult it would be for a sub/master relationship to end and what the "uncollaring" ritual entails? Also.. would a sub seek out another master to collar them or is this considered a 'once in a lifetime' commitment only? And lastly... can you be in a relationship or marriage to one person and be collared/cuffed to a different "master" or is this prohibited?


Collaring a sub means ownership. Once on, the sub is classed as 'property' of the Master/Mistress. You could say it is like a wedding ring and that it is on display for the world to see that the sub is owned and that it is like a marriage - that is if you don't mind being in a marriage that may be sexless and no way ever be considered equal. The Master may have as many subs as he/she wants - The sub has only one Master. The Master may loan out her/his pet as he/she is the Master/Mistress and must never be questioned or denied.

For a sub, it means pride of ownership, devotion and commitment. Subtiggy's post was wonderful and you can tell how much love and respect (even in her stories) she has for her Master as you may notice that she always capitalize His, He and Him. Subs often do not own names - They are named by their Master, such as 'girl' etc

Once collared, the sub must be fully committed but if it came to the 'end of the agreement' (uncollared), then it simply means that they have the collar taken from them. No big ceremony and it is the ultimate punishment in some cases. They (the subs) are then free to look for a new Master.

Often a married person has a Master as well. In these cases, their wedded spouse are not their Masters. A sub may ask their Master for permission to have another Master but the answer is normally no and it would be frowned upon. The sub may live a normal life with their spouse, but when it is 'pet time', they are the sole property of the Master and only does what He or She orders. If a sub seeked out another Master or another person besides his spouse for sex on his/her own accord, they would be uncollared.

@Yahtzee I understand what you mean d'oh! There is a difference to a person who truly lives a BDSM lifestyle to those on here that use it often as attention seeking to get views etc. A true sub will only speak when they are told to and not cyber chat - unless they are in the same room with their Master and are being told to. A real sub would not go in the chat rooms by themselves - they would wait for their Master.
Guest
Posted: Friday, October 07, 2011 8:21:52 PM

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to tell u the truth, i dont think it means anything on here. noone keeps to being collered
beinggood
Posted: Friday, October 07, 2011 10:04:09 PM

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Joined: 6/29/2011
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Location: United States
Being collared for me is an awesome feeling...I love that term, but its not the collar its what is in the heart...I have been given a ring from my Master and i so love it..When being collared its a symbol of 2 becoming 1...We had a beautiful collaring ceremony here on Lush and it was just the beginning of a long time relationship..Its for life and we are for real.......Huggs BGlove3

doing my best to be good..
Guest
Posted: Friday, October 07, 2011 11:02:49 PM

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Fugly, Thank you for the explication. I am far better informed now than I was this morning and I see this in a new light. I had not thought of the uncollaring, but it must be a terrible event. To give up something that is a part of you. More to think about. Thanks again.
mare24
Posted: Sunday, October 09, 2011 5:14:23 AM

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Location: Second star to the right, straight on til morning.
I would totally agree with SubTiggy's response and with Fugly's answer. For me I have but one Master, but anything that is outside of my ownership to him is not discussed, as long as I am available to serve when he requests. Now that being said, my Master is very understanding of the fact I have a child and work. I have not been collared in the literal sense (although I have begged it), but it is an ownership marked by metaphysical bounds that I cannot explain or put forth into words. Hope that helps to a degree.
sprite
Posted: Sunday, October 09, 2011 3:07:11 PM

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Ok, wow... just a quickie here: there is a distinction between being someone's sub and being collared by someone. to me, if you collar your sub, yes, that's the same as making a marriage commitment and, like marriages, they sometimes come to an end despite every one's best intention. Now, as far as giving yourself to a Dom/me as a sub, i believe that if you find the right people you can have both relationships exist harmoniously besides each other. It's not always easy, but it's certainly doable and something i have just stepped into myself. so far it's working. of course, i have an amazing wife and my Mistress understands my situation (she's pretty damn amazing too). :)

http://www.lushstories.com/stories/hardcore/west-coast-games-part-one-the-beach.aspx
Ruthie
Posted: Monday, October 10, 2011 12:37:53 AM

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For some people being collared means a 24/7 relationship of total submission. I love being totally submissive, but not as an all the time thing. I only wear collars as a part of costuming either at home or in clubs. Mostly I wear chokers in fact, rather than a true collar. People make assumptions about women in collars at BDSM clubs, and I suppose men in collars too. Men don't hit on me as much when I'm wearing a choker or collar, or women either as far as that goes. They tend to assume that my boyfriend is my master, which is only true to the extent that he's the boss in the bedroom.

I only know a couple of truly collared subs. I don't know any (women) subs who have masters that are not their husbands or their live in lover. I have met a lot of boys at clubs with their mistresses and it is not unusual for a mistress to have a string of male subs. There seem to be more male subs than mistresses most of the time anyway. A lot of them wear collars, but I don't know what commitment they have beyond the evening.

The club I go to most often with my boyfriend has rules about interfering in scenes or relationships, but even if they didn't I don't think most people would, beyond the usual self centered assholes of course. I think most people in the community respect collared relationships and it is always surprising when you find out someone hasn't.

Everyone's life has so many aspects that singling out sex as a definition of your lifestyle seems silly to me anyway. I could never be permanently collared, but that's just me. I respect those who do, just like I respect married people who keep their vows. I would never try to seduce either type. Here's my ideal collar set:

Guest
Posted: Saturday, June 02, 2012 7:48:07 PM

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I'm not sure how to really answer this. But I'll give it a try. To me having a collar means u are in the lifestyle and that u are most definitly the property of your mistress or owner. I also think that even in the event of lack of a physical collar, there is a mental collar that remains around a sub/pup's neck for life.
MoonlightSerenity
Posted: Sunday, June 03, 2012 9:28:57 AM

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Latexìa wrote:


@Yahtzee I understand what you mean d'oh! There is a difference to a person who truly lives a BDSM lifestyle to those on here that use it often as attention seeking to get views etc. A true sub will only speak when they are told to and not cyber chat - unless they are in the same room with their Master and are being told to. A real sub would not go in the chat rooms by themselves - they would wait for their Master.


What about subs who's Master's no longer have accounts on here? My Master, and other Masters and Mistresses that I know of are okay with their subs talking to other people so long as we follow certain rules for our chatting. Do you still consider us to be real subs?

Teased and Tormented -My very first story and competition entry is now up!
ByronLord
Posted: Sunday, June 03, 2012 10:18:08 AM

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Location: Massachusetts, United States
MoonlightSerenity wrote:


What about subs who's Master's no longer have accounts on here? My Master, and other Masters and Mistresses that I know of are okay with their subs talking to other people so long as we follow certain rules for our chatting. Do you still consider us to be real subs?


I find the implied sexual one up-manship of defining what a 'real sub' would do in an exclusionary way rather depressing.

There are folk in the gay community who can't understand the fact that some people really are bisexual and seem to see them as some how inferior or closeted.

Different people are into different things. Some people are painsluts, most are not. Some people are into bondage, most are not.

I don't much care what society thinks of what I do/don't in the bedroom or the basement. It is quite frankly none of their business unless I am hurting someone else (without consent) or harming them. I don't need their approval to validate my lifestyle. And that goes for folk inside the community who want to appoint themselves arbiters of standards as well..

Guest
Posted: Sunday, June 03, 2012 11:28:19 AM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,641
To me "being collared" means I have passed all the tests and requirements of my master/mistress and it is the outward symbol of their pleasure in making me theirs. It is an important step and I always yearned for that symbol of ownership and acceptance. To me, it was the make or break of the "relationship" we would share.
Guest
Posted: Sunday, June 03, 2012 11:38:18 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,641
Yes I am a new sub as of now I have no collar or cuff but I really would like a cuff. To me it would remind me every day that I have a Mistress that cares for me. So I'm hoping in the near future to get one from My Mistress
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