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Are there different levels of unfaithfulness ? Options · View
swollen
Posted: Monday, November 07, 2011 1:27:49 AM

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If you found out your partner had received/given oral to another woman, yet not had intercourse with her, would you be more inclined to forgive him?
freakycactus
Posted: Monday, November 07, 2011 2:11:53 AM

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Location: On my cloud, United Kingdom
No, nope, not even a little bit. Cheating is cheating, if he's willing to betray me in that way once then I would really struggle to trust him again - and what is a relationship without trust? And as much as the act itself would bother me, what I'd have a bigger problem with, is the fact that it got to the stage in our relationship where things were bad enough he'd seriously considered cheating (clearly enough to do it), and he didn't come and talk about the issues with me.

If it turned out he'd only done it because the opportunity came up and he'd gone for it thinking he wouldn't get caught, he'd have to get out door quick, because there would be a hell of a lot of stuff flying at his head.

lucylocket
Posted: Monday, November 07, 2011 3:20:36 AM

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Joined: 1/14/2011
Posts: 4
NO.NO get it on and enjoy just dont get found out
DarkSide
Posted: Monday, November 07, 2011 5:25:58 AM

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Joined: 4/28/2011
Posts: 142
Location: United Kingdom
What about being on lush...Posting stories of any topic and reading dirty stories as well, even looking at sexy profiles of other men and women. If you're a bloke and you do this and your wife doesn't know, is it cheating? And is it cheating if a woman does it and the bloke doesn't know?

Yes, there are levels of unfaithfulness. I have known women that think watching porn is unfaithful to them, like they are not good enough. I have known women that have asked me if they could see a female friend and get it off with her while I was away on business. I said yes of course, but she was a different kind of woman!

As for the word TRUST...that can describe someone that watches porn or logs onto lush and yet does nothing about it. FAITHFULNESS is another good word.



I used to be a pervert. In here, I'm normal.
overmykneenow
Posted: Monday, November 07, 2011 6:38:00 AM

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Joined: 6/8/2010
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Location: United Kingdom
It is interesting how some people see oral almost as a lesser offence. I don't see a difference in oral to full sex (apart from the obvious of course) or even a quick hand job.

It's all cheating and if you're caught you have to face up to the consequences

Warning: The opinions above are those of an anonymous individual on the internet. They are opinions, unless they're facts. They may be ill-informed, out of touch with reality or just plain stupid. They may contain traces of irony. If reading these opinions causes you to be become outraged or you start displaying the symptoms of outrage, stop reading them immediately. If symptoms persist, consult a psychiatrist.

Why not read some stories instead

NEW! Want a quick read for your coffee break? Why not try this... Flash Erotica: Scrubber
Guest
Posted: Monday, November 07, 2011 6:46:54 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,753
overmykneenow wrote:
It is interesting how some people see oral almost as a lesser offence. I don't see a difference in oral to full sex (apart from the obvious of course) or even a quick hand job.

It's all cheating and if you're caught you have to face up to the consequences


I believe that the credit goes to Mr. Bill Clinton for swaying so many people (under the age of 30) into believing that there is a difference between oral sex and sexual intercourse (as you said, not the obvious of course) on the "degree" of sex which falls into "cheating" or just "having fun".

Thanks Bill .... but really, I am with OMYN on this ... it's all cheating, no matter what the act is!
Nikki703
Posted: Monday, November 07, 2011 8:03:40 AM

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Location: The Other Side Of The Mirror
It all really depends on the person. Some people may not consider it cheating unless there is penetration. But I also know a very conseravtive couple who consider masturbation cheating. Everyone has there own definition on what is and what isnt cheating. And I guess no one is wrong if thats how they feel.

But back to the original question, I dont see a difference between oral and full sex. Sorry Mr. President!!
Guest
Posted: Monday, November 07, 2011 8:06:49 AM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,753
yes its being unfaithful, however if you dont get caught, where is the harm
Dancing_Doll
Posted: Monday, November 07, 2011 8:29:42 AM

Rank: Alpha Blonde

Joined: 2/17/2010
Posts: 6,271
Location: West Coast
I'm actually not as bothered by the physical act as by the 'intimacy' involved in getting there.

If a guy gets a blow-job through a glory hole, then it's just a mouth sucking him off and actually wouldn't really bother me that much.

But, if he's met a girl that he's spending time with and making out with and it leads to oral, yes I'd be just as pissed off as if he'd fucked her.

The way I see it, infidelity is about deception with me and intimacy with another.

If he avoids both, then I don't see a problem.

But yeah, there is a big difference between a random blowjob at a bachelor party and finding out he's been 69'ing with some girl at work.


swollen
Posted: Monday, November 07, 2011 10:05:31 AM

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Joined: 5/27/2010
Posts: 1,001
I totally agree with Doll !! and honesty is an admirable quality. Hook - off it, therefore x
playsit
Posted: Monday, November 07, 2011 12:06:35 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/26/2011
Posts: 289
Location: Northeastern Untied Sates, United States
I know this is an "Ask the Gals" forum... so forgive me for intruding.

Am I the only one who thinks that oral sex is the most erotic form of sexual expression between two people?

There's definitely a double standard between men and women when it comes to oral sex. DD raises the point of a quickie thru a glory hole being not as bad, and maybe Clinton did have something to the way society thinks, but I think it's it's always been that way. It's almost socially acceptable for a guy to receive a blow job from anyone, even R-rated movies show this as almost normal and natural. Speaking as a guy though, I would have to be extremely initmate with a woman for oral sex to enter into the equation and would consider it cheating long before it ever got that far.

I also agree with DS. Sometimes I have a problem with myself even being on Lush because my wife wouldn't approve. I've had to talk myself into the idea that there's nothing wrong with reading, writting, and chatting with a few like minded friends... although she would strongly disagree with me. Does that make me a cheater? According to those who said "it depends on the person", I guess so. Maybe cheeting is different for everyone.

As far as forgiveness is concerned... it's healthy for both involved, unless it leads to repetitious behavior.
Buz
Posted: Monday, November 07, 2011 12:40:29 PM

Rank: The Linebacker

Joined: 3/2/2011
Posts: 5,789
Location: Atlanta, United States
To some this would be black and white and others see they gray areas. In that case its what shade of gray is too much.

One other married couple that is very good friends with us are into swinging, cuckold, that whole scene.

At first my wife and I considered swinging some but then we decided that in our case and our history that maybe complete monogamy would work for us best. We did not rule out being watched while we had sex though. And that has happened twice now. One was unintentional and one was on purpose. Both were a lot of fun!

1curiouscat
Posted: Monday, November 07, 2011 1:25:25 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/25/2011
Posts: 1,144
Location: São Paulo , Brazil
Dancing_Doll wrote:
I'm actually not as bothered by the physical act as by the 'intimacy' involved in getting there.


What the clever lady said



Overwhelming Reality

From Across the Room
MMonroe
Posted: Monday, November 07, 2011 1:51:46 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/10/2009
Posts: 1,893
Location: United Kingdom
I definately agree with DD about intimacy versus just a quick shag but whether it was just a snog with a bird he just met when wasted, or a girl he had spent more time with, i still see it as cheating.



*Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable?*



DLizze
Posted: Monday, November 07, 2011 3:26:15 PM

Rank: Story Verifier

Joined: 4/23/2011
Posts: 2,552
I know this is "Ask the Gals" but feel the need to weigh in here, nonetheless.

I don't care if you are flrting in some bar during happy hour, jerking off in a corner over some magazine, chatting with someone on the net, or boffing your next door neighbor; or even if you are just THINKING about doing those things.

If what you are doing is something that you have to hide from your partner, it is cheating. (And the logical extension is, if you and your partner can't truly and genuinely agree on the limits, one of you is probably with the wrong partner. I suppose the converse is also true.)

Sorry to burst a bunch of bubbles, folks, but you'll have to get your rationalizations validated by someone else.

"There's only three tempos: slow, medium and fast. When you get between in the cracks, ain't nuthin' happenin'." Ben Webster
albertagirl
Posted: Monday, November 07, 2011 8:06:08 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/28/2010
Posts: 449
Location: The Great White North
[quote=DLizze]
If what you are doing is something that you have to hide from your partner, it is cheating. (And the logical extension is, if you and your partner can't truly and genuinely agree on the limits, one of you is probably with the wrong partner. I suppose the converse is also true.)




I have to agree with DLizze on this one, If your hiding it its cheating.

It has been scientifically proven that any woman can be satisfied with only 3 1/2 inches --- and it doesn't matter if it is Visa or Mastercard
icecreamcandy
Posted: Tuesday, November 08, 2011 10:09:42 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/11/2010
Posts: 108
Location: United States
DLizze wrote:

I don't care if you are flrting in some bar during happy hour, jerking off in a corner over some magazine, chatting with someone on the net, or boffing your next door neighbor; or even if you are just THINKING about doing those things.

If what you are doing is something that you have to hide from your partner, it is cheating. (And the logical extension is, if you and your partner can't truly and genuinely agree on the limits, one of you is probably with the wrong partner. I suppose the converse is also true.)


This is totally how i feel.. if you are doing something you wouldn't want your partner to do, or know they wouldn't be happy with you doing it, it's cheating... Even if you don't think you will get caught.. the fact you are doing it means you're a bit of an a**hole in my book...




flower




Ice cream + Candy = Yummy
swollen
Posted: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 12:29:51 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 5/27/2010
Posts: 1,001
icecreamcandy wrote:
[quote=DLizze]
I don't care if you are flrting in some bar during happy hour, jerking off in a corner over some magazine, chatting with someone on the net, or boffing your next door neighbor; or even if you are just THINKING about doing those things.

If what you are doing is something that you have to hide from your partner, it is cheating. (And the logical extension is, if you and your partner can't truly and genuinely agree on the limits, one of you is probably with the wrong partner. I suppose the converse is also true.)


This is totally how i feel.. if you are doing something you wouldn't want your partner to do, or know they wouldn't be happy with you doing it, it's cheating... Even if you don't think you will get caught.. the fact you are doing it means you're a bit of an a**hole in my book...


flower




swollen
Posted: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 1:28:30 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 5/27/2010
Posts: 1,001
swollen wrote:
icecreamcandy wrote:
[quote=DLizze]
I don't care if you are flrting in some bar during happy hour, jerking off in a corner over some magazine, chatting with someone on the net, or boffing your next door neighbor; or even if you are just THINKING about doing those things.

If what you are doing is something that you have to hide from your partner, it is cheating. (And the logical extension is, if you and your partner can't truly and genuinely agree on the limits, one of you is probably with the wrong partner. I suppose the converse is also true.)






You realise that statement makes at least 50% of Lushies, if not more, a**holes don't you ? Afterall, not many of them tell their wives/gfs about Lush do they.

(I messed that post up big-time !! Only the last line is mine) d'oh!
Archadia
Posted: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 4:24:34 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/1/2011
Posts: 425
Location: Middlesbrough, United Kingdom
Nobody banned window shopping, you can eye up other girls/guys, and flirt too if you like, thats not an issue in my opinion, just flirting, so long as it goes no futher is pretty harmless, everybody likes know that they still "got it", so long as your girl isnt with you at the time lol.

But thats the limit! Anything beyond that is out of bounds, even just a kiss i would say is technically cheating, in fact fuck it, it is cheating, same goes for dirty video msgs and dirty texts, I wouldnt say looking at porn is cheating though, thats more excusable in my book. They are spoken for just as much as you are and visa versa, just think how they would feel if the roles were reversed, not good im guessing? Theres is no grey area to be honest in my view
Dirty_D
Posted: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 7:54:33 AM

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Joined: 4/15/2011
Posts: 7,187
Location: Soaking up the sun, United States
For me and my SO: We dont mind the act as long as we let the other know what is going on. Random sex isnt the issue: lying is. I would consider it a cheat if I had been lied to, no matter what the physical action was.

Guest
Posted: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 10:34:27 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,753
No, if your other half doesn't know then it's cheating.
icecreamcandy
Posted: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 2:02:10 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/11/2010
Posts: 108
Location: United States
swollen wrote:
swollen wrote:
icecreamcandy wrote:
[quote=DLizze]
I don't care if you are flrting in some bar during happy hour, jerking off in a corner over some magazine, chatting with someone on the net, or boffing your next door neighbor; or even if you are just THINKING about doing those things.

If what you are doing is something that you have to hide from your partner, it is cheating. (And the logical extension is, if you and your partner can't truly and genuinely agree on the limits, one of you is probably with the wrong partner. I suppose the converse is also true.)






You realise that statement makes at least 50% of Lushies, if not more, a**holes don't you ? Afterall, not many of them tell their wives/gfs about Lush do they.

(I messed that post up big-time !! Only the last line is mine) d'oh!


In my book yes... If you're on here and you are cybering with other people and your partner doesn't know about it then to me thats cheating...If i found out my otherhalf was on a sex site chatting dirty to other women id be pretty pissed off..... But thats just my opinion, everyone is entitled to think something different.


flower


Ice cream + Candy = Yummy
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 2:21:48 PM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,753
I agree that it is all cheating, however, from a legal standpoint, foreplay of any kind is seen as a lesser offense and will be frowned upon less in cases of statutory and such. I know I know that was not the original point but I just thought I would give some legal precedent.
Guest
Posted: Thursday, November 10, 2011 5:05:42 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,753
There's really no difference from a 'cheating' point of view. Passionate kissing and intimate touching of someone other than your partner is cheating, just as much a fucking. It's about the breach of trust. Not the level of the breach!

But who am I to judge? I've cheated on all my partners. And I know some, maybe all, of them have cheated on me.

Sooner or later, everybody cheats if they get the opportunity!

Alison (Cynical But true) Ames
Guest
Posted: Thursday, November 10, 2011 5:21:34 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,753
DLizze wrote:
I know this is "Ask the Gals" but feel the need to weigh in here, nonetheless.

I don't care if you are flrting in some bar during happy hour, jerking off in a corner over some magazine, chatting with someone on the net, or boffing your next door neighbor; or even if you are just THINKING about doing those things.

If what you are doing is something that you have to hide from your partner, it is cheating. (And the logical extension is, if you and your partner can't truly and genuinely agree on the limits, one of you is probably with the wrong partner. I suppose the converse is also true.)

Sorry to burst a bunch of bubbles, folks, but you'll have to get your rationalizations validated by someone else.


Not a gal, but just had to.

Very well said, honest to the point and nor sugar coated.

The way a relationship should be. Thanks
Fugly
Posted: Thursday, November 10, 2011 5:24:52 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/11/2010
Posts: 1,004
DLizze wrote:
I know this is "Ask the Gals" but feel the need to weigh in here, nonetheless.

I don't care if you are flrting in some bar during happy hour, jerking off in a corner over some magazine, chatting with someone on the net, or boffing your next door neighbor; or even if you are just THINKING about doing those things.

If what you are doing is something that you have to hide from your partner, it is cheating. (And the logical extension is, if you and your partner can't truly and genuinely agree on the limits, one of you is probably with the wrong partner. I suppose the converse is also true.)

Sorry to burst a bunch of bubbles, folks, but you'll have to get your rationalizations validated by someone else.


Coco
Posted: Thursday, November 10, 2011 9:05:48 AM

Rank: Story Lover

Joined: 7/22/2011
Posts: 4,446
Location: Fantasy City, United States
Good dialogue in this thread!

Everyone has some very valid points.

What hasn't been said is: the conversation. I am certain at one point, prior to entering into a committed, monogamous, and healthy relationship; a conversation must be had where the ground rules were/are clearly stated and accepted by both parties. If a couple has not have this conversation, then cheating most definitely will result.

I equate cheating, in my relationship, as a deal breaker. We are sexual beings and can separate intimacy from copulation of any kind. So, all in all, I think DD has the right mindset. If there is intimacy and pure emotions involved then I have a problem!

I don't think that all people cheat.

BTW, I don't think viewing porn, lush, and other websites equals to cheating. But, to each his/her own, do what's best for your situation.




"I did not have sexual relations with that woman!" haha

Guest
Posted: Thursday, November 10, 2011 11:04:53 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,753
Fugly wrote:
DLizze wrote:
I know this is "Ask the Gals" but feel the need to weigh in here, nonetheless.

I don't care if you are flrting in some bar during happy hour, jerking off in a corner over some magazine, chatting with someone on the net, or boffing your next door neighbor; or even if you are just THINKING about doing those things.

If what you are doing is something that you have to hide from your partner, it is cheating. (And the logical extension is, if you and your partner can't truly and genuinely agree on the limits, one of you is probably with the wrong partner. I suppose the converse is also true.)

Sorry to burst a bunch of bubbles, folks, but you'll have to get your rationalizations validated by someone else.




AaArgh, when can we get a LIKE button??
Guest
Posted: Thursday, November 10, 2011 1:50:48 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,753
I really this well done fugly!

Real quick how does a person go about making a .gif file on their own?
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