I thought it would be nice for any writers looking to find critiques and/or reviews of their work strictly for the sake of improving their writing skills and story telling abilities to have a place to post their story links and then ask for reviews. I think it would be nice for reviews to be sent directly to the person rather than posted here. What do you think?

I posted a rather long story, meant to build several characters and then bring those characters together in an orgy situation. I personally find it difficult to get even remotely aroused unless I feel like I know the characters and have some window into their lives. So I thought it would be good to build that story, establish who the people were and then bring them together. Did I succeed? I don't know. Perhaps some of you might take a moment and let me know?

First Chapter:

http://www.lushstories.com/stories/incest/angelas-night-chapter-01.aspx

Final wrap up:

http://www.lushstories.com/stories/group-sex/angelas-night-conclusion.aspx

I hope to find other writers with strong story telling interests online as well. By story telling I mean that the writer has a idea of where they are taking the story and their intention is to bring the reader along on a journey. I believe all good art, writing, music, literature, or visual arts must focus on connecting with something deeper in the human spirit. I look forward to finding others with such a passion.

Thanks for your time.

Hiya Satyr, these are long stories so I will make sure I will have a good read of them later on. And I will try and give you some positive feedback on both stories if I can. I think its good that we try and encourage each other with our writing stories. great idea. HB

Satyr, I agree with you about critiques. Lush has few shortcomings, but IMHO, the lack of a critique forum is a grievous omission.

Two quick thoughts:

one: You really, really, really should fix the formatting. Yes it's a pain to redo a story's format so it shows up with proper spacing between paragraphs. But take pity on your poor readers. Maybe it's just my being old, cranky, and hard-of-seeing, but what you have now can be a real turn-off.

two: I did glance over the opening paragraphs. While I agree that character development can make a story hotter, doing that makes it even more important that the opening "hook" the reader. IMHO, yours is a tad slow. Even if I'm right (don't laugh, it has happened) there is no easy solution. Openings are vital and a challenge for most writers.

Good luck.

Rumple Foreskin

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Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. - ROBERT HEINLEIN

FROM: Becky -- FOR: Matt -- With Love a Festive contest winner - honest
(audio version - very sexy)

HOW HUMANS DO IT: a fish-eye view of sex an Editor's Pick - no kidding