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Guest
Posted: Sunday, January 29, 2012 7:47:32 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 473,817
When you message someone and let them know you are interested, if the person you contacted is not interested in you, do you prefer a) that they just ignore your message and do not respond, or b) would you rather receive a little courtesy note advising you that they are not interested?

I often get messages on sites from people I just am not interested in chatting with, and when I send them a message letting them know I am not interested, I get nasty responses from them. But then when I do not respond I am constantly harassed by that person and asked why I do not respond. What do you guys want (well besides obviously no rejection at all)?
dontknow
AndyM59
Posted: Sunday, January 29, 2012 7:51:15 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 12/10/2011
Posts: 103
Location: United Kingdom
Its a B for me. Just a thank you but no, lets people know. Its easy to be nice hello2
DirtyMartini
Posted: Sunday, January 29, 2012 8:12:52 AM

Rank: Purveyor of Poetry & Porn

Joined: 10/19/2009
Posts: 5,725
Location: Right here on Lush Stories...
Clearly B...it's the courteous and correct thing to do in any situation regardless of site...


You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories

DLizze
Posted: Sunday, January 29, 2012 10:01:36 AM

Rank: Story Verifier

Joined: 4/23/2011
Posts: 2,520
I think R.A. Heinlein said it best, in Time Enough For Love:

Moving parts in rubbing contact require lubrication to avoid excessive wear. Honorifics and formal politeness provide the lubrication where people rub together. Often the very young, the untraveled, the naive, the unsophisticated deplore these formalities as "empty," "meaningless," or "dishonest," and scorn to use them. No matter how "pure" their motives, they thereby throw sand into machinery that does not work too well at best.

So, yes, please reply. But a simple "thank you, but no thanks" will suffice.

"There's only three tempos: slow, medium and fast. When you get between in the cracks, ain't nuthin' happenin'." Ben Webster
alexmarch
Posted: Sunday, January 29, 2012 10:20:59 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 12/25/2011
Posts: 67
Location: Toronto, Canada
Definitely "B"
clum
Posted: Sunday, January 29, 2012 11:05:28 AM

Rank: Clumeleon

Joined: 5/13/2011
Posts: 3,749
Location: Edinburgh, United Kingdom
If you don't reply to me, I'll have a little bitch to myself about how rude you are. However, I'm likely to concoct some excuse(s) for you like that you're really busy and/or in high demand. Perhaps it's just my nature but if you don't reply then I'll probably forgive you.

If you send me a little note saying, "Not today, thanks," then it's harder for me to invent excuses for you and I'll just be offended.

If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

The lion is most lionlike when he roars.
Guest
Posted: Sunday, January 29, 2012 11:30:05 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 473,817
personally i would rather know where i stand. a small thank you no thank you is fine by me.
Guest
Posted: Sunday, January 29, 2012 11:42:14 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 473,817
AndyM59 wrote:
Its a B for me. Just a thank you but no, lets people know. Its easy to be nice hello2
but as noted, AndyM59, not all guys are like you and those above who said B. I have also had guys respond with nasty little snippets when I have said "sorry, I am not interested". Now I just ignore or delete.
JustJohn
Posted: Sunday, January 29, 2012 11:45:32 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/28/2012
Posts: 103
Location: United Kingdom
I prefer B after all it's nice to be nice and if you do get a nasty reply then it would appear that you were justified in not wanting to chat with them in the first place
Guest
Posted: Sunday, January 29, 2012 12:11:52 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 473,817
Interesting to see responses.

I do reply to all of my messages, but I am very upfront with EVERYONE that there will be no cybering ever. If they want to say Hi and shoot the breeze, that's fine. I am always set to "away," so people can't send me chat requests, which solves some of the problem. A few people being rude in return is NOT going to change how I behave. Preemptive rudeness doesn't work for me. If they are rude with their reply I either ignore it, block, or reply with a snarky response. Really depends on how combative I feel. evil4

I did have a very charming Lushie PM me a few weeks ago to tell me that he didn't like my profile and would not be contacting me. I sent him a lovely return PM thanking him for contacting me to tell me that he would not be contacting me. He replied that I was "weard" and said something about "pinitration." He's now blocked to prevent his temptation to not contact me. confused5
SensualDesires83
Posted: Sunday, January 29, 2012 12:57:45 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/27/2009
Posts: 374
Location: Southeast, United States, United States
For me, it's B. Whenever I get a message, (which is not very often sadly, lol) I will always respond. I would like the same courtesy, but I know that does not always happen.

"So don't cry to me.
If you loved me,
You would be here with me.
Don't lie to me,
Just get your things.
I've made up your mind."

--Evanescence
VickieLynn1
Posted: Sunday, January 29, 2012 1:17:37 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/26/2011
Posts: 5,819
Location: So Cal, United States
It all depends on how its written. alot of times i just delete them if im not interested in what is asked said or what ever. most of the time its men who dont read profile first asking to be friend so they get what they deserve, but then i mean to keep it as exclusive as stated in profile. its always good to be helpful to others so im more then willing to answer questions that are relevant. if one is being friendly ill be glad to talk

nothing beats a luscious kiss from well painted lips ;) mmmmmmmmm...........
loud_bkr
Posted: Sunday, January 29, 2012 2:47:04 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/24/2011
Posts: 4,936
Location: Fuct if I know
Well at times the unsolicited messages can be annoying, but a kind, "no thanks, not at this time" is all that I do.


Guest
Posted: Sunday, January 29, 2012 7:36:49 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 473,817
no response is the best. If someone doesn't answer back then i know they are not interested.
lafayettemister
Posted: Monday, January 30, 2012 12:41:01 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/4/2010
Posts: 6,343
Location: Alabama, United States
PersephoneMills wrote:
When you message someone and let them know you are interested, if the person you contacted is not interested in you, do you prefer a) that they just ignore your message and do not respond, or b) would you rather receive a little courtesy note advising you that they are not interested?

I often get messages on sites from people I just am not interested in chatting with, and when I send them a message letting them know I am not interested, I get nasty responses from them. But then when I do not respond I am constantly harassed by that person and asked why I do not respond. What do you guys want (well besides obviously no rejection at all)?
dontknow


I think the appropriate response depends on what the guy says in his introductory message to you. If after reading yoru profile which states you "are not on here to cyber....", and you get a message that talks about his big dick and your sweet titties and tight pussy then I'd say no response is necessary.

If the message from the guy is more of a hello and friendly in nature, then a response back would be appropriate. If he gets "too friendly" too quickly or then goes in for the sexual kill then you can shoot him down as you see fit.







When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates
Guest
Posted: Monday, January 30, 2012 1:24:44 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 473,817
i try and reply to all messages and i say why if i have declined..but on my profile i have a lil note about what guys i'm interested in, mostly i only get messages from guys who fit my criteria..perhaps if more people put this on there profiles they would not get unwanted messages..just a thought
Guest
Posted: Monday, January 30, 2012 1:26:37 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 473,817
Just let them know if you're not interested
Nikki703
Posted: Monday, January 30, 2012 1:36:36 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/7/2009
Posts: 12,336
Location: The Other Side Of The Mirror
How would you respond to this if it comes from someone you have never had any contact with, and then it was followed with a friend request?

hey!!! how are you sexy??? HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
have you had sex in these days? with who?
how long is the biggest you have ever tried? and the smallest cock??
do you want to see my cock?
do you like anal sex?
what do you want to know about me?? make me many questions...



Because I get them all the time as I am sure many other women do too.
Not the best way to get me to want to chat with you but at east this one didnt ask for any naked pics, they usually do.
Dancing_Doll
Posted: Monday, January 30, 2012 1:45:22 PM

Rank: Alpha Blonde

Joined: 2/17/2010
Posts: 5,991
Location: In your dirty fantasies
Nikki703 wrote:
How would you respond to this if it comes from someone you have never had any contact with, and then it was followed with a friend request?

hey!!! how are you sexy??? HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
have you had sex in these days? with who?
how long is the biggest you have ever tried? and the smallest cock??
do you want to see my cock?
do you like anal sex?
what do you want to know about me?? make me many questions...



Because I get them all the time as I am sure many other women do too.
Not the best way to get me to want to chat with you but at east this one didnt ask for any naked pics, they usually do.


LOL... I got the exact same PM today too. evil4


Guest
Posted: Monday, January 30, 2012 2:01:31 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 473,817
I do try to respond to all of my messages - sometimes that can take a while, as I do get snowed under...

Some will just be a polite refusal, some will really make me laugh and a bit of banter can happen...

Magical_felix
Posted: Monday, January 30, 2012 2:50:54 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/3/2010
Posts: 4,577
Location: California
Nikki703 wrote:
How would you respond to this if it comes from someone you have never had any contact with, and then it was followed with a friend request?

hey!!! how are you sexy??? HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
have you had sex in these days? with who?
how long is the biggest you have ever tried? and the smallest cock??
do you want to see my cock?
do you like anal sex?
what do you want to know about me?? make me many questions...



Because I get them all the time as I am sure many other women do too.
Not the best way to get me to want to chat with you but at east this one didnt ask for any naked pics, they usually do.


Oh screw you guys... This shit works for me all the time. Like okay, so YOU TWO glossed over it but I have a spreadsheet going on all the women on lush and I know all about how big or small the last cock in their asses was. Not so funny now is it? I'll think of a more subtle way of extracting the info from you two yet... If you catch me in a good mood I might let the spread sheet slip out one day...



HK4167
Posted: Monday, January 30, 2012 3:09:07 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/1/2011
Posts: 3,307
Location: Seattle, United States
PersephoneMills wrote:
When you message someone and let them know you are interested, if the person you contacted is not interested in you, do you prefer
a) that they just ignore your message and do not respond, or
b) would you rather receive a little courtesy note advising you that they are not interested?


For me, either A or B is OK.

When I'm interested in someone to be friend, I usually send an message to her first, letting her know I'm interested and would like to self-introduce first, asking her to take a minute or two to read my profile to decide if we have common interests to be friend or not. In the message I also let her know that I will send out friend request a day later, assuming she has already read my bio and makes her decision by then. At the end of message I tell her that if I do not receive her reply or acceptance of my friend request in a week, I assume she has already read my bio, but decided not to befriend with me and do not want to talk to a stranger. In that case I respect her decision and will not bother her again.

Some of my friends can confirm they got my emails like this, before I send them friend request.

It just feels to me making friends here is like making friends in real life. If I approach a girl in RL, either she does not answer my question or declines me politely, the answer is the same and a decent guy should respect her decision, politely retreat instead of bothering her.

Welcome to visit my tumblr page at http://HK4167.tumblr.com for erotic arts. Or http://slice-of-moment.tumblr.com for non-erotic arts.
seaking621
Posted: Monday, January 30, 2012 4:39:54 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 11/13/2011
Posts: 25
any message would be nice i would not be at all judgemental xxxx
JesseS
Posted: Monday, January 30, 2012 4:43:19 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/1/2010
Posts: 117
Location: United States
When I get a nice note, even if not interested, I'll send a short note back. But for the rude and/or offensive clots, they simply get blocked. You do not owe some jerk, who feels he can start questioning details of your personal life, a moments time.
Guest
Posted: Monday, January 30, 2012 8:14:37 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 473,817
I find it interesting when someone friends you, and on your first hello, they say nothing. I would love to get just a short return, not the generic *im busy catch me later* I totally realize some of you are very popular, but have the courtesy being human and not using the fast way out. "just sayin"
loveslegs
Posted: Tuesday, January 31, 2012 8:46:33 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 1,832
Location: Greece
i would prefer a small message saying something along the lines of "hi, i read your message and i'm sorry but i am not interested" ... although a no return message means much the same to me and i will always avoid re-messaging that person (unless it's been some time and i forgot i messaged them in the first place! lol)
ramrod32784
Posted: Monday, August 13, 2012 5:44:32 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 7/29/2012
Posts: 558
Location: Fl, United States
I prefer B
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