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Rank: Lurker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Posts: 326,941
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Who do you prefer take charge in bed? I'm curious if I should let the girls I go out with take charge of me, or should I be the one leading this dance?
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 4/24/2009
Posts: 573
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If you're in an equal relationship, it should be equal, however we usually just go with whoever initiated it taking charge for the evening.
"A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere." - Groucho Marx
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Rank: Internet Sensation
Joined: 3/30/2009
Posts: 3,976
Location: Cloudy dreams., Sweden
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It depends on the mood and what sort of guy Im with. If he'a not a person who takes charge I do, if he's taking charge I mostly let him, though I hate beeing passive. It usually switches between both I guess. I love to seduce. But I'm a bit of a tease so at times the guy needs to take control before I drive us both insane.
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Rank: Moderator
Joined: 3/3/2009
Posts: 4,261
Location: Victoria, Australia
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Sometimes he takes charge, sometimes he does what he's told.  It depends on the mood at the time.
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Rank: Lurker
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So it pretty much comes down to two things: A. The mood. B. Who starts it. Seems simple enough, but it never is when the time comes.
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 4/10/2009
Posts: 1,891
Location: United Kingdom
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Lisa wrote:Sometimes he takes charge, sometimes he does what he's told. It depends on the mood at the time. This. I have to feel comforatable with my partner before I take charge, so in the beginnings of a new relationship its usually him that initiates and takes charge until I can stop being shy
*Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable?*
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Rank: Forum Guru
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Location: Azeroth, United States
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All depends on my mood as well.
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Rank: Lurker
Joined: 11/30/2006
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Lisa wrote:Sometimes he takes charge, sometimes he does what he's told. It depends on the mood at the time. Ditto
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Rank: Lush Legend
Joined: 4/13/2008
Posts: 5,209
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Lisa wrote:Sometimes he takes charge, sometimes he does what he's told. It depends on the mood at the time. My sentiments exactly....lol 
"Love all, trust a few, and do wrong to none."
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Rank: Lurker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Posts: 326,941
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My hat's off to Lisa. Everyone seems to like your answer so I think I'm gonna try and look for the signs in the future instead of just deciding before I start about whether I'm going to lead or let her lead. Thanks all! 
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Rank: Lurker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Posts: 326,941
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you left out 'does the dishes after' lol...
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Rank: Lurker
Joined: 11/30/2006
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Usually, I dominate over Tech, but it doesn't stop her from doing something sexy and unexpected for me. We know what is fun and exciting and erotic for the other person and "just do it". Even though I am supposed to call the shots, we do whatever we feel like doing that whole night and even then we run out of time.
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 2/5/2008
Posts: 98
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rocco are you and teck like...married and living together? or what.....and where did you guys meet?
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Rank: Lurker
Joined: 11/30/2006
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Tech and I met in a chat room, believe it or not. It was the first time I'd met someone online who lived close to me. To make a long story short, we eventually met and hit it off.
I'm married but separated. (Wife and I are happy this way and she has a boyfriend now, too.) Tech is married and has a loving hubby and family. It's an open marriage and he knows all about me. That shocks a lot of people, but it has worked very well, for over a year and a half now. Tech feels she's the luckiest woman in the world, having two men she's in love with.
Whether people agree with our relationship or not doesn't concern us. We only know it works for us.
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 9/28/2007
Posts: 1,287
Location: tied up somewhere
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roccotool wrote: Tech feels she's the luckiest woman in the world, having two men she's in love with.
Whether people agree with our relationship or not doesn't concern us. We only know it works for us. Tech is the luckiest woman in the world. She has not only 1 but 2 men who love and care for her deeply! Whether other people agree or not does not matter.....what matters is what makes you guys happy! Good for you! 
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Rank: Lurker
Joined: 11/30/2006
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Thanks, fystee. It's nice to hear someone else understands our unique relationship.
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Rank: Lurker
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You are both incredibly lucky, Rocco, as is Tech's hubby. I don't get why some people view love as a zero-sum game. I am quite sure that Tech's love for you in no way diminishes her love for her husband. Good on you both, and the world needs more people like you!
In a world where love is so hard to find and keep, why does it matter what shape a relationship takes, as long as everyone involved is aware of the others and happy with the situation?
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Rank: Lurker
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Rocco if Tech's husband is anything like you she is indeed very lucky.
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Rank: Forum Guru
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she is very lucky! I want someone like you Rocco!
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Rank: Lurker
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roccotool wrote:
Thanks, fystee. It's nice to hear someone else understands our unique relationship.
Rocco, my relational life is at times incredibly complex, two men, one woman, so on, and always, it's open, with the paramount issues no jealousy, safety, respect all 'round. Sometimes we mix it up, other times we are in separate orbits. I delightedly applaud others who can navigate the waters of the non-traditional. It's incredible when it works, congrats to you and Tech (and your respective others) for making it so. Ciao, dolls, ~Dare
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Rank: Lurker
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Groan, as usual, I'll take the minority position. As a Dominant, I do not need to control every aspect of sex and sensuality, but I do look for men who are very strong (physically, mentally, emotionally) against whom I can push. We play as equals until such time as my native Dominance sees a natural place to take the lead, and that which is inside them that wishes to yield does so.
In casual encounters, I am great at equals, but in my relational life, in my committed relationships, my Dominance is my set point.
All except for with one person who draws for the scintilla of submissive energy that exists inside me...:>
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Rank: Active Ink Slinger
Joined: 5/30/2009
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Location: United Kingdom
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i love being dominated, i like men to be nasty and forceful to me in bed.
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Rank: Active Ink Slinger
Joined: 7/16/2009
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Rank: Matriarch
Joined: 12/6/2006
Posts: 22,360
Location: Sydney, Australia
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A warm one.
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Rank: Lurker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Posts: 326,941
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I always start of being dominate in bed, but then the men I have been with in the past are just are able to make me feel so overcome with passion, I just end up having to give in. My ex used to like B+B and he always liked me to be the dominent one which I used to enjoy, but it did get a bit one-sided and I felt very left out of attention for me.
ha ha Nic a warm one LOL
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