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Help! I think I'm an internet slut :/ Options · View
pretty_little_homo69
Posted: Friday, October 14, 2011 4:32:27 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 2/27/2011
Posts: 17
Location: Philippines
Sorry, I just had to get this out there somehow. This is the first place i thought to express this...
Anyway, off the bat, to avoid any confusion, I'm a young gay male who feels that he's given up his "ASL" one too many times.

In all kinds of chat rooms, I've chatted, and mic-ed, and cam-ed with people, getting them to cum.

I get a HUGE kick out of stripping for people online, talking to them, doing what they tell me to, and getting them to climax and enjoy themselves. I don't charge anything. I just really like it. What gets me though is the extent that I go to please them when we're doing it. I have really gotten so dirty ever since I started doing this. I've been humiliated, talked dirty to, and asked to do all kinds of things. I don't agree to it all though but lets just say that I've done a lot of pretty nasty things. And on a handful of occasions, these things extended themselves outside the chat room.. And, furthermore, I really enjoy these things.

What I really think is weird though, and what I really want to bring up is that I'm a really nice and normal guy. It would shock anyone if they ever, god forbid, find out any of the things I've done. What's stranger is that I freak myself out with the things i've done...
When I've finished with someone online, I feel terribly guilty afterwards. Sometimes I haply (by chance) think of the time I licked cum off the floor or that time I had a threesome with people old enough to be my dad or maybe even my grand dad.... and I just end up feeling so dirty.. but I like it... a lot.. but I feel so wrong and like I shouldn't... :/

Do you get what I'm trying to say? Oh my :/
Mistress_of_words
Posted: Friday, October 14, 2011 4:56:26 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/14/2011
Posts: 591
Location: At my keyboard, writing stories for you
Ultimately you just have to ask yourself if the way it makes you feel good outweighs the way it makes you feel bad. If you're feeling bad more of the time then ask yourself if it is really worth it?

The important thing is that you are staying safe and you're not letting it impact in a negative way on the rest of your life; your job, family, real life relationships etc.

I think online interaction of this kind can be very addictive, because you are physically isolated from the person you are interacting with you can feel uninhibited and do things you might not do otherwise. It's a safe adrenalin and endorphin rush. Like any addiction though, it can start to take over your life.

Good luck, I hope you are able to figure out what you want. Lush is a great community and I'm sure you'll get loads of great advice from the members here.

rxtales
Posted: Saturday, October 15, 2011 5:14:28 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 11/28/2008
Posts: 2,589
Location: Newcastle, United Kingdom
Mistress_of_words wrote:

The important thing is that you are staying safe and you're not letting it impact in a negative way on the rest of your life; your job, family, real life relationships etc.


I think that´s very important. A few years ago, I became very addicted to doing similar things. At first it was all online, and I felt safe hiding in my room. Then I started meeting the men I was camming for and it became addictive. I often lied about who I was, and would staying up all night to find men to meet up with. It impacted my entire life; I couldn´t get my school work done, I was lying to everyone, I pushed all of my friends away... Just be careful with what you are doing.
pretty_little_homo69
Posted: Saturday, October 15, 2011 2:57:46 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 2/27/2011
Posts: 17
Location: Philippines
Quote:
I often lied about who I was, and would staying up all night to find men to meet up with.


so true.. thats what got me worried the other night... i stayed up all night doing all kinds of different things with different men online, it felt so unproductive :/ that must've compounded to the guilt i was already feeling for being such a dirty slut :/

Quote:
I think online interaction of this kind can be very addictive, because you are physically isolated from the person you are interacting with you can feel uninhibited and do things you might not do otherwise. It's a safe adrenalin and endorphin rush. Like any addiction though, it can start to take over your life.


That is so true... thanks to the internet, I've found a private little outlet for my "less acceptable" cravings.

by the way, i found this interesting article online:
its a quick read and you can look up your own zodiac sign if it interests you.
it puts my dilema into perspective pretty well.

I've thought about it and I think i'm cool with it-- i mean, the duality in my personality. its terribly terribly taxing though...
Hidesert
Posted: Thursday, February 02, 2012 5:09:30 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 12/29/2011
Posts: 22
I can spend hours playing on line
lustyscribbler
Posted: Sunday, February 05, 2012 1:54:27 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 12/9/2011
Posts: 35
Location: Philippines
I just a newbie here and I admit, I also have the same dilemna. (I also have posted a similar post elsewhere) I'm sure there are more experienced people here that can enlightened you more. But, I just like to tell you that if you are uncomfortable about anything, then do not do it! even though, it is so pleasing and self-satisfying. Know what you want but know also what are your limitations.

They are right, it can be OK as long as we don't mix real and reel things. But, it can happen. If you gradually allow it because you are only thinking these are the things that make you happy.

You don't owe those other people anything. So, only you have the option to do what is OK and comfortable with you. Oftentimes, we feel guilt because it's the conscience that somewhat working here--it's a sort of guiding and reminding us what we usually do not like to admit readily with our own selves.

Lush, I guess, is a great site and also a nice community. You can somehow enjoy your stay here without feeling that sickening guilt.

I wish you well!




Sometimes, a bitch is just a girl who wears a mask to hide what's real inside her
pretty_little_homo69
Posted: Sunday, February 05, 2012 12:40:44 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 2/27/2011
Posts: 17
Location: Philippines
lustyscribbler wrote:
I just a newbie here and I admit, I also have the same dilemna. (I also have posted a similar post elsewhere) I'm sure there are more experienced people here that can enlightened you more. But, I just like to tell you that if you are uncomfortable about anything, then do not do it! even though, it is so pleasing and self-satisfying. Know what you want but know also what are your limitations.

They are right, it can be OK as long as we don't mix real and reel things. But, it can happen. If you gradually allow it because you are only thinking these are the things that make you happy.

You don't owe those other people anything. So, only you have the option to do what is OK and comfortable with you. Oftentimes, we feel guilt because it's the conscience that somewhat working here--it's a sort of guiding and reminding us what we usually do not like to admit readily with our own selves.

Lush, I guess, is a great site and also a nice community. You can somehow enjoy your stay here without feeling that sickening guilt.

I wish you well!


Thanks for the advice :) Nice to see a fellow filipino here ;)
Anyway, yes, I've been doing some reading and am trying to learn to moderate myself more. Self control is a really hard thing to master and I honestly struggle with it CONSTANTLY. I actually think that that's why I like it so much when I'm just taken and ravaged during sex. And, I guess, why my stories are written the way they are :p
lustyscribbler
Posted: Monday, February 06, 2012 8:34:11 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 12/9/2011
Posts: 35
Location: Philippines
pretty_little_homo69 wrote:


Thanks for the advice :) Nice to see a fellow filipino here ;)
Anyway, yes, I've been doing some reading and am trying to learn to moderate myself more. Self control is a really hard thing to master and I honestly struggle with it CONSTANTLY. I actually think that that's why I like it so much when I'm just taken and ravaged during sex. And, I guess, why my stories are written the way they are :p


Really? you're a kababayan! that's nice to know!

You will do good, OK? You already have taken the first step--admitting something. Just take things at a time...

Sometimes, a bitch is just a girl who wears a mask to hide what's real inside her
Guest
Posted: Monday, February 06, 2012 11:34:35 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,935
One thing to remember is that, for most people, this kind of thing wears off and calms down over time.

Perhaps you truly will be the kind of person that loves doing this forever and ever, but there's a good chance that after a few months (or maybe a year or two, three, etc) that you'll find it dwindling off.

As I believe has been said above, as long as it's not stopping you from doing 'healthy' things (things like spending time with your friends, family, going out and about, all that) and as long as you're being safe and sensible about it... there isn't really a problem here unless you feel like there is one. If you feel there is a problem then just cutting down, backing off a bit etc is a good start :)
Guest
Posted: Monday, February 06, 2012 12:17:16 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,935
AUTOBOMBO!!!

Good "marketing" director


You're not helping yourself with this topic. My humble opinion.

OR maybe that's what you want ... to attract more people's attention.

From what I could read at least .. starting with the title .. REALLY??!!!

*sigh*















AnnaGrace
Posted: Sunday, February 19, 2012 12:16:53 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 1/20/2011
Posts: 23
Location: United States
If you get a thrill out of being dirty, you're just like everyone else in the world hahaa..
BUT in all seriousness, you should do what you think is morally correct.
I had the same mental crisis a couple weeks ago, just think of what bothers you most about what you do.
I'm sure you can get past this mindset quickly and get back to enjoying w/e life you choose :)

TheSexiiEbonii ;)
Sol_Invictus
Posted: Sunday, February 19, 2012 1:41:02 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/3/2010
Posts: 126
Location: Somwhere between Orion and the North Star, United
Like a number of people have said it's fun for a while and then the novelty wears off. If you enjoy it, and apparently you do or you wouldn't keep coming back enjoy yourself here. Spend time with your off line friends and don,t over think the situation.
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