Welcome Guest Search | Active Topics | Members | Log In | Register

Relatonship Issues... Options · View
NatiaNuff
Posted: Thursday, February 23, 2012 3:58:01 AM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 7/27/2011
Posts: 7
Ok guys so I'm a young female who has been in a relationship for 2 years now. We have only been living together a couple months and I have noticed that my man is never up for sex anymore. I have to beg for it and he still will just flat out say no and thats it! But I know that he is masturbating a couple times a week, I am frustrated that he would rather jack off instead of fuck me. I have brought this issue up a couple times and he gets pissed, nothing has changed. He says that he has never really had a huge sex drive and that he just isnt horny very much... but then why jack it all the time. I have tried costumes, chaning things up, nothing seems to get him going anymore. Im starting to feel that its just me... any advice, or insight as to whats possibly going on in his head would be great!!!
kinkitten
Posted: Thursday, February 23, 2012 4:04:20 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/17/2011
Posts: 382
dutyunfolded1
Posted: Thursday, February 23, 2012 4:14:33 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 2/8/2012
Posts: 25
Location: United States
My opinion....he has his mind on someone else. I don't mean to throw another thought into your head, but I've been with someone in the past and lived with them and found myself in an emotional relationship with another person..which drove my desire for the person I was with way down.
NatiaNuff
Posted: Thursday, February 23, 2012 4:24:13 AM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 7/27/2011
Posts: 7
dutyunfolded1 wrote:
My opinion....he has his mind on someone else. I don't mean to throw another thought into your head, but I've been with someone in the past and lived with them and found myself in an emotional relationship with another person..which drove my desire for the person I was with way down.


That would explain things....
Buz
Posted: Thursday, February 23, 2012 6:54:54 AM

Rank: The Linebacker

Joined: 3/2/2011
Posts: 5,179
Location: Atlanta, United States
It is time for a change. Get a new boyfriend.

I have written a new poem. It is called 'Long Twisty Woman.'
You can read it at: http://www.lushstories.com/stories/erotic-poems/long-twisty-woman.aspxx
Also, if you wish, check out my co-authored a story with the wonderful DanielleX. It is called 'Focus on Sex.'
You can read it at: http://www.lushstories.com/stories/quickie-sex/focused-on-sex-1.aspx

lafayettemister
Posted: Thursday, February 23, 2012 11:29:33 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/4/2010
Posts: 6,342
Location: Alabama, United States
Yep, time to move on. Doen't mean he's a bad guy or a chump or a loser. Just means, unfortunately, that he isn't into you anymore. I don't mean it to sound harsh. Doesn't mean anything is wrong with you either. Sounds like you're doing whatever it takes. You sound pretty cool to me. You've just drifted apart as a couple. Better to find out now than in 5 years. Part on good terms and find someone who digs you all day every day.





When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates
Nikki703
Posted: Thursday, February 23, 2012 1:40:07 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/7/2009
Posts: 12,329
Location: The Other Side Of The Mirror
NatiaNuff wrote:
Ok guys so I'm a young female who has been in a relationship for 2 years now. We have only been living together a couple months and I have noticed that my man is never up for sex anymore. I have to beg for it and he still will just flat out say no and thats it! But I know that he is masturbating a couple times a week, I am frustrated that he would rather jack off instead of fuck me. I have brought this issue up a couple times and he gets pissed, nothing has changed. He says that he has never really had a huge sex drive and that he just isnt horny very much... but then why jack it all the time. I have tried costumes, chaning things up, nothing seems to get him going anymore. Im starting to feel that its just me... any advice, or insight as to whats possibly going on in his head would be great!!!


Did this start when you moved in together? How was your sex life with him before that? It could be the pressure of the "committment that has him scared if it is a recent change. Or as already said he could be having second thoughts about your relationship. Things can change when you live together. Better you find out now then later on.
Guest
Posted: Saturday, February 25, 2012 3:21:13 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 473,477
Try a new cock. It Ain't gonna get better if you marry him!
bvbfan85
Posted: Saturday, February 25, 2012 10:28:49 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 2/24/2012
Posts: 14
Location: Chicago, United States
the same thing happened in a relationship of mine, and from my experience, the relationship is over sweetie. sorry
perkynipples
Posted: Sunday, February 26, 2012 12:09:00 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 12/13/2011
Posts: 360
Location: Pittsburgh, United States
Just watched a show called strange sex. the subject sounds very much like your situation it was sexual anorexia. the people involved went to therapy and are now having normal relations. hope things get better for you.

Bunker Love
My Dream my latest stopry
Tyking85
Posted: Sunday, February 26, 2012 12:16:47 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/26/2010
Posts: 642
Location: Toronto, Canada
Try doing what he's doing. Try masturbating all the time and if you're not up for it, just fake masturbating. Let him clue in that you're masturbating or let him catch you, but when he does. Don't stop just keep going, fake or have a real orgasm with him knowing or seeing you. If he doesn't question you or, gets turn on by you. Than you may have some serious issue. But all you're trying to do is provoke an action or emotion from him. And take it from there.

Hope that helps.
yocowboy
Posted: Sunday, February 26, 2012 7:24:49 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/17/2011
Posts: 115
Location: United States
I am having the same problem with my wife. I am hoping she comes out of it. WE HAVE ONLY BEEN MARRIED TWO HALF YEARS
That1NJGuy
Posted: Sunday, February 26, 2012 9:48:40 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/6/2010
Posts: 2,326
Location: United States
It's natural to question him. But, don't push too hard. Compassion is the key here.

If he can't be honest with you with what's going on, I may move on just from a trust issue let alone a sexual issue.
Guest
Posted: Sunday, February 26, 2012 10:18:37 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 473,477
Take a look at your relationship - the non sexual side. It may be a control thing. If you are the main earner, or if it is you making all the decision in your relationship, it may be his way of regaining some control - to with-hold sex.

If not, then its ultimatum time. I hate ultimatums, but it appears sex is important to you, so you will have to give him the ultimatum - sort his head out or you will leave. But from my experience, if you didnt have a problem with sex before you started living together, then the problem isnt sex...its something else.

Just as an aside, lots of people are saying dump him, but Im assuming that if you decided to live together there has to be something there. So with that in mind I think it is worth expending a little effort in trying to find out what the issue is.
NatiaNuff
Posted: Sunday, February 26, 2012 1:43:35 PM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 7/27/2011
Posts: 7
orion73 wrote:
Take a look at your relationship - the non sexual side. It may be a control thing. If you are the main earner, or if it is you making all the decision in your relationship, it may be his way of regaining some control - to with-hold sex.

If not, then its ultimatum time. I hate ultimatums, but it appears sex is important to you, so you will have to give him the ultimatum - sort his head out or you will leave. But from my experience, if you didnt have a problem with sex before you started living together, then the problem isnt sex...its something else.

Just as an aside, lots of people are saying dump him, but Im assuming that if you decided to live together there has to be something there. So with that in mind I think it is worth expending a little effort in trying to find out what the issue is.






Yes there is alot there.. he is amazing! I got him to open up and talk to me a little bit last night... this is the longest relationship that he has ever had, and this is the first time that he has ever lived with anyone.. which is all new info to me. He said that it isn't me and that he loves me, that this is all just gonna take him a little time to adjust to. Also something that I didnt' mention in my first post I do have a daughter who is 3 from someone else, so considering that he is 27 and has never been in a long relationship, and never lived with anyone else, let a lone someone with a kid, I can see where he is a little overwhelmed. So things are looking a little better. Just wish I would have know about all of this a little sooner! Did alot of worrying and stressing the last couple months!!!
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, February 28, 2012 4:47:51 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 473,477
NatiaNuff wrote:






Yes there is alot there.. he is amazing! I got him to open up and talk to me a little bit last night... this is the longest relationship that he has ever had, and this is the first time that he has ever lived with anyone.. which is all new info to me. He said that it isn't me and that he loves me, that this is all just gonna take him a little time to adjust to. Also something that I didnt' mention in my first post I do have a daughter who is 3 from someone else, so considering that he is 27 and has never been in a long relationship, and never lived with anyone else, let a lone someone with a kid, I can see where he is a little overwhelmed. So things are looking a little better. Just wish I would have know about all of this a little sooner! Did alot of worrying and stressing the last couple months!!!


Great!! A relationship worth having is a relationship that is worth investing some time, as well as a few tears, over. It is difficult living with someone new for the first time, as they are always going to do things slightly different from the way you do. I was told, from a young age, that it all has to do with ground rules and boundaries. Or in other words...compromise. Lifes a bit of a game sometimes, you just have to figure out the rules. But im glad you talked it through and made some progress. Good luck!
blazestcyr
Posted: Friday, May 18, 2012 6:07:54 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/19/2011
Posts: 737
Location: where bugs die
married 17 years

thought it would get better

it gets worse...lack of sex is a deal breaker

so decide if the love is worth the lack of sex

but if he treats you yucky

get out


lots of lovely guys out there who will do BOTH
DeLioncourt
Posted: Wednesday, May 23, 2012 8:39:35 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 5/13/2012
Posts: 44
Location: United States
Great advice, Orion73. I tip my hat to you..well said!
Guest
Posted: Friday, July 20, 2012 10:05:04 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 473,477
hmph, I can only imagine what the replies would be if the roles were reverse
Ben_C
Posted: Tuesday, August 21, 2012 12:21:42 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 8/19/2012
Posts: 44
Location: United Kingdom
NatiaNuff wrote:
Ok guys so I'm a young female who has been in a relationship for 2 years now. We have only been living together a couple months and I have noticed that my man is never up for sex anymore. I have to beg for it and he still will just flat out say no and thats it! But I know that he is masturbating a couple times a week, I am frustrated that he would rather jack off instead of fuck me. I have brought this issue up a couple times and he gets pissed, nothing has changed. He says that he has never really had a huge sex drive and that he just isnt horny very much... but then why jack it all the time. I have tried costumes, chaning things up, nothing seems to get him going anymore. Im starting to feel that its just me... any advice, or insight as to whats possibly going on in his head would be great!!!


It's a bit suspicious that he doesnt want to fuck you at least once a day or even a few times a week and the fact you know he is jacking sounds like he could be seeing someone else.
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, August 21, 2012 2:20:24 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 473,477
Nikki703 wrote:


Did this start when you moved in together? How was your sex life with him before that? It could be the pressure of the "committment that has him scared if it is a recent change. Or as already said he could be having second thoughts about your relationship. Things can change when you live together. Better you find out now then later on.


I agree with Nikki, its best to find out now than later. It may simply be that he is not ready for commitment. That or the results of that commitment.
TreeSuh
Posted: Tuesday, August 21, 2012 7:02:08 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/23/2012
Posts: 132
I would keep being open and honest, Moving in together is a big step esp when its the 1st time for him. Stress plays a huge factor into sex. If you love him and he loves you then I would just keep trying to move in the direction you want...

If it doesn't change or he doesn't try then its time to reassess your relationship. Relationships are work.

Best of luck angel7
anon47
Posted: Wednesday, August 22, 2012 3:23:34 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 8/21/2012
Posts: 33
Location: United Kingdom
Most obvious thing is; he needs a short break from you. Not breaking up, but to remember what he's missing.

If that doesn't work, try flirting with other guys when you're out with him. See if it arouses his jealousy and his dick at the same time.

If that doesn't work, ask him what's wrong, tell him that this has to get sorted or it's over. Emphasise you don't want it to be over but it will be over if this doesn't get sorted.

If that doesn't work, move out.
Users browsing this topic
Guest 


Forum Jump
You cannot post new topics in this forum.
You cannot reply to topics in this forum.
You cannot delete your posts in this forum.
You cannot edit your posts in this forum.
You cannot create polls in this forum.
You cannot vote in polls in this forum.

Main Forum RSS : RSS

Powered by Yet Another Forum.net version 1.9.1.6 (NET v4.0) - 11/14/2007
Copyright © 2003-2006 Yet Another Forum.net. All rights reserved.