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Dancing_Doll
Posted: Saturday, February 25, 2012 1:34:34 PM

Rank: Alpha Blonde

Joined: 2/17/2010
Posts: 5,991
Location: In your dirty fantasies
You start dating a girl and things are going well. You're really into her. Then you find out that she's still really close friends with her ex-boyfriend.

Does this bother you?

Would it bother you more if you met him on a random social occasion and found out that he is better looking, richer, taller, or more successful than you?

Let's say she tells you that they are now just platonic friends but that she still enjoys talking to and hanging out with him on occasion.


** Note: Girls, feel free to answer this question as well, in terms of your man having ex-girlfriends he still likes to hang out with.


Guest
Posted: Saturday, February 25, 2012 3:09:10 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 473,808
Would have to have sex with her and simultaniously.... make love to her and fuck her hard enough that she will only be thinking about you rather than him... but if she wants him.... let her have him or anybody else in her life... you can't keep her if she doesn't want to stay. At least you will have a good fuck to remember!
Guest
Posted: Saturday, February 25, 2012 4:43:09 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 473,808
Dancing_Doll wrote:
** Note: Girls, feel free to answer this question as well, in terms of your man having ex-girlfriends he still likes to hang out with.


Oh, just WATCH me fucking jump all over this.

I am actually my boyfriend's second girlfriend...he was with his ex for four years. Which, considering that he's now 21, is a quite an impressive (SCARY!) amount of time.

They both moved down from their hometown to go to the same uni....similar lines of work - crossing each other's path a lot as well as hanging out in group situations (well, I hope it's only group situations) since they live close to each other.

I consider myself a pretty modest person, so when I say he's gone a step up in the world from me to her....I'm saying that she was really not a pretty sight. That's the thought that I cling to confused5

Yeah, it does bother me. She has a lot of knowing him time on what I have and that's a bit scary, of course it is. But he doesn't bring her up enough to worry me that he's always thinking about her, but he does bring her up just enough times to make me feel that he doesn't feel that he has anything to hide.

I figure that if they were going to 'do' anything they would have done it in the year that they were both single for (after they split up), so although I do feel that tad bit worried now and again....I think it's fair to say that I don't have anything to be worried about.

Steering back on track here slightly....yes it would absolutely bother me more if I met her and found out she was better looking than me, more intelligent etc etc. Definitely. It's always a worry that someone might go back to an ex they're still friends with...and it's differently more of a worry if said ex is more attractive physically, materialistically and personality wise (or any of the above!).
VanGogh
Posted: Saturday, February 25, 2012 5:14:08 PM

Rank: Sarcastic Coffee Aficionado

Joined: 2/10/2012
Posts: 2,776
Location: Vancouver, Canada

one must always remember, they have become your "ex" for a reason.

(I know this is ask the guys, but it's from a woman's perspective - hope you don't mind)

there will always be the ex that is taller or shorter, prettier or more handsome, better ass, richer or has a better career, etc. BUT .... remember that your current Significant Other is WITH YOU .... not that ex.

my advice ... relax. If they are mature and can have a platonic relationship ... that is awesome in my books. We all need friends ... it's important fact of life.

If someone really wanted to get back with their ex .... they will. You can't control what some else does ... you can only control how you react to it.


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Guest
Posted: Saturday, February 25, 2012 9:16:36 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 473,808
I would feel the other way about than previous answers.

No, it wouldnt bother me if they were smarter, funnier, richer, more good looking etc. These are all subjective qualities anyway - eg. richer doesnt necessarily mean having more money.

Yes, it would bother me a lot if they were still friends. I wouldnt stay good friends with an ex (unless there was a very good reason) out of respect for my new partner.

Thats not to stop them being civil to an ex partner, I just wouldnt want my girlfriend to pop around to her ex's for a cup of coffee and a movie.
bvbfan85
Posted: Saturday, February 25, 2012 10:27:10 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 2/24/2012
Posts: 14
Location: Chicago, United States
I am sorry, but I would drop the girl in a heartbeat if this was the case. If they are you're ex, then you don't need to be friends with them. If you're friends, then do that, but I wont be in your life in anyway shape or form if that is the case
Michael_X
Posted: Sunday, February 26, 2012 12:46:20 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 12/20/2011
Posts: 76
Location: T.M.I., United States
I was actually on this boat when my current gf and I started dating. & I was honestly totally fine with it. They work in the same area, same building actually and texted often. It was fine. Nothing out of the normal until he started talking to her about still having feelings for her, that he got jealous when he saw us together (Which I found creepy as fuck seeing as I have never met him), he claimed her as "HIS" even though we are dating (WTF Right?) then tried talking her out of dating me and going back to him since I wasnt her type or right for her. again, even though we never met.

I think its fine to have friends like that... Until it gets to be very... well when it feels wrong and bad. Then you need to talk about it. But when I found out about that, I was pissed and like. No, he goes now. and she was very understanding.

"Do you want to live to work or work to live"

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing"

"Always hold you head up high, never come off weak"

Michael
sbp
Posted: Sunday, February 26, 2012 3:00:52 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 8/17/2011
Posts: 28
Being completely honest - it would drive me crazy - I'd hate it. Even if I was better looking, richer etc.

But it'd be my problem not hers and the most important part of a relationship is trust so if I couldn't get over it then it's probably not ever going to work out. I'd still recognise that it's my issue and I should probably just grow up, but you can't help how you feel can you?
SydneySider
Posted: Monday, February 27, 2012 3:48:37 AM

Rank: Chat Moderator

Joined: 11/6/2011
Posts: 1,518
Location: Sydney, Australia
PersonalAssistant wrote:

one must always remember, they have become your "ex" for a reason.

(I know this is ask the guys, but it's from a woman's perspective - hope you don't mind)

there will always be the ex that is taller or shorter, prettier or more handsome, better ass, richer or has a better career, etc. BUT .... remember that your current Significant Other is WITH YOU .... not that ex.

my advice ... relax. If they are mature and can have a platonic relationship ... that is awesome in my books. We all need friends ... it's important fact of life.

If someone really wanted to get back with their ex .... they will. You can't control what some else does ... you can only control how you react to it.


Well said.



Irishdrifter
Posted: Monday, February 27, 2012 8:10:01 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/18/2011
Posts: 597
PersonalAssistant wrote:

one must always remember, they have become your "ex" for a reason.

(I know this is ask the guys, but it's from a woman's perspective - hope you don't mind)

there will always be the ex that is taller or shorter, prettier or more handsome, better ass, richer or has a better career, etc. BUT .... remember that your current Significant Other is WITH YOU .... not that ex.

my advice ... relax. If they are mature and can have a platonic relationship ... that is awesome in my books. We all need friends ... it's important fact of life.

If someone really wanted to get back with their ex .... they will. You can't control what some else does ... you can only control how you react to it.

I also agree just like SydneySider. I not sure anything really needs to be added to what P.A. wrote. It's a great answer to the question. Bravo!
beowulf69
Posted: Monday, February 27, 2012 8:38:10 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/24/2011
Posts: 200
Location: Cocoa Beach, United States
I guess it depends who it is. I have dated ex-girlfriends of some of my best buddies and we didn't have a problem. But I am meaner than they are.cussing

I'm not really mean.angel7

My first story for Lush is posted, The Goodbye Fuck.
http://www.lushstories.com/stories/straight-sex/the-goodbye-fuck.aspx
Deadneo
Posted: Tuesday, February 28, 2012 3:18:36 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 2/22/2012
Posts: 11
Location: United States
If I would be serious about "this" relationship, I'd ask to stay away/cut loose her "friend" if she wouldn't comply easily I'd do the same. See if it'll go well (honestly doubt it will) and go from there.
loud_bkr
Posted: Tuesday, February 28, 2012 5:00:51 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/24/2011
Posts: 4,936
Location: Fuct if I know
Would not bother me at all, not the jealous kind, so if she had her ex as a good friend I would be cool with it.
Trust is important in a relationship.


lafayettemister
Posted: Tuesday, February 28, 2012 7:44:02 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/4/2010
Posts: 6,343
Location: Alabama, United States
It wouldn't bother me at all. If they broke up, then it's over. I'd be more concered with a girl who viewed all of her exes as enemies of the state who she carries long lasting grudges. If the broke up just because things didn't work out. If they broke up because he cheated or hit her or something like that, it's different. Most couples have lots of common friends. Just because they break up shouldn't mean that one or the other can't still hang out with the group of friends they share.

If they're friends, no problem. Now, if I see either of them getting a little too touchy feely. Or other signs that he still has a thing for her, I'd mention it. Let her know that he's looking for more. But I'd trust her and her judgement. Until something inappropriate happened, I wouldn't ask her to modify her behavior or interactions.





When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates
Buz
Posted: Tuesday, February 28, 2012 8:58:26 AM

Rank: The Linebacker

Joined: 3/2/2011
Posts: 5,189
Location: Atlanta, United States
Dancing_Doll wrote:
You start dating a girl and things are going well. You're really into her. Then you find out that she's still really close friends with her ex-boyfriend.

Does this bother you?

Would it bother you more if you met him on a random social occasion and found out that he is better looking, richer, taller, or more successful than you?

Let's say she tells you that they are now just platonic friends but that she still enjoys talking to and hanging out with him on occasion.


** Note: Girls, feel free to answer this question as well, in terms of your man having ex-girlfriends he still likes to hang out with.


"he is better looking, richer, taller, or more successful than me?" I'd have to make him disappear!!!!coffee

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Donte
Posted: Tuesday, February 28, 2012 1:03:44 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 9/20/2011
Posts: 80
Not the Jealous type. Would not bother me at all...
Guest
Posted: Thursday, March 01, 2012 4:19:48 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 473,808
I used to hang out with 3 of my bf's exes and they're all bitches that he can't stand, so I'd be very surprised if he turned around and said he'd been chatting to one of them!
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