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Guest
Posted: Sunday, March 04, 2012 9:47:19 PM

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what is a "safe word"?
poizenivy
Posted: Sunday, March 04, 2012 10:49:42 PM

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Location: In a suspended state of permanent horniness, Unite
Whenever a couple is trying out role playing, bondage, public sex, or brining in other people, they need to have a safe word. This word tells the other(s) that a line has been crossed. For example, if you and your partner are into domination, the one being dominated would have a safe word that he/she would say if they ever felt like things were going too far, they were uncomfortable, or in real pain. A safe word is only a valid as the turst between partners. If I didn't trust the person I was with to honor that word then I wouldn't play games with him/her where one was needed. Hope that helps!

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer. ~Swami X

sprite
Posted: Sunday, March 04, 2012 10:59:41 PM

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poizenivy wrote:
Whenever a couple is trying out role playing, bondage, public sex, or brining in other people, they need to have a safe word. This word tells the other(s) that a line has been crossed. For example, if you and your partner are into domination, the one being dominated would have a safe word that he/she would say if they ever felt like things were going too far, they were uncomfortable, or in real pain. A safe word is only a valid as the turst between partners. If I didn't trust the person I was with to honor that word then I wouldn't play games with him/her where one was needed. Hope that helps!


Just a little edit... BOTH partners, the Dom and the sub should have a safe word - yes, it is possible for subs to cross lines as well, and go to places that make their partners uncomfortable - the Dom/me needs a way of expressing this without putting a halt to things.

http://www.lushstories.com/stories/hardcore/west-coast-games-part-one-the-beach.aspx
Guest
Posted: Sunday, March 04, 2012 11:00:18 PM

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hello1 thank you for that answer
1Zratedgal
Posted: Sunday, March 04, 2012 11:10:43 PM

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Taking Sprite's post a step further, it also applies to couples and people in the lifestyle or swinging and swapping parties...

Kisses!

Steph
WellMadeMale
Posted: Monday, March 05, 2012 11:28:34 AM

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Is it better to devise & implement a safe word which can be moaned, groaned or sputtered (with a mouth full of panties or a lodged cue-ball) etc...

How many syllables should the word be, for instance?

Would 'No' be too ambiguous?
Would 'more' be unwise?
How about: 'Ouch Motherfucker!' ?

If ya can't beat 'em... pay someone to do it for you.
Guest
Posted: Monday, March 05, 2012 11:47:36 AM

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sprite
Posted: Monday, March 05, 2012 11:57:15 AM

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Location: My Tower, United States
WellMadeMale wrote:
Is it better to devise & implement a safe word which can be moaned, groaned or sputtered (with a mouth full of panties or a lodged cue-ball) etc...

How many syllables should the word be, for instance?

Would 'No' be too ambiguous?
Would 'more' be unwise?
How about: 'Ouch Motherfucker!' ?


First off, always have a safe word that is unmistakably a safe word. "God' is not a good safe word, cause most likely it's getting used a lot for other reasons. Madagascar, for example , is - it's easily reconizable and it stands out.

A lot of people simply use stop lights. "green light" means keep going. "yellow light" means slow down. "red light" means STOP. Hand signals are also good to have. one finger means i'm ok, two means slow down, three means stop. Also, you can give your sub a bell or metal ball to hold if they are gagged and/or bound. If they let go if it it makes a loud sound and that means to Stop.

My girl knows, from us having conversations about it, that NO does NOT mean no. Neither does IT HURTS or STOP IT. PUMPKIN, however, means STOP. it's a good solid easily reconizable word for us and we both are willing to use it if things get out of hand. :)

http://www.lushstories.com/stories/hardcore/west-coast-games-part-one-the-beach.aspx
Guest
Posted: Monday, March 05, 2012 12:02:26 PM

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WellMadeMale wrote:
Is it better to devise & implement a safe word which can be moaned, groaned or sputtered (with a mouth full of panties or a lodged cue-ball) etc...


When my ex used to tie me up face down with a gag in my mouth, we had a system of hand gestures to use in place of a safe word. I think it's best to cover all the bases ...
CuriousKitty
Posted: Monday, March 05, 2012 5:24:42 PM

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Ruthie
Posted: Sunday, March 11, 2012 1:21:13 AM

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WellMadeMale wrote:
Is it better to devise & implement a safe word which can be moaned, groaned or sputtered (with a mouth full of panties or a lodged cue-ball) etc...

How many syllables should the word be, for instance?

Would 'No' be too ambiguous?
Would 'more' be unwise?
How about: 'Ouch Motherfucker!' ?


A safe word should be something that you wouldn't ordinarily say while having sex. "No" is a word that is used a lot in BDSM scenes, also "stop" and "don't." Sometimes stop and don't are used in reverse order, such as "Don't stop." A safe word should be something like "rutabaga." Unless root vegetables are a normal part of your sex life of course.

I don't know about cue balls. I think they'd probably get lodged behind my teeth, but having my panties torn off and stuffed into my mouth is the way to my heart. Now I have to practice saying "parsnip" with panties in my mouth just in case.
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, March 14, 2012 5:18:07 PM

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Just for my 2 cents thats related to this topic, safe words should ALWAYS be funny and random. Something that has no relation to the scene/play/session.
secretcharm
Posted: Wednesday, March 14, 2012 6:59:10 PM

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laughing6 WellmadeMan ... notworthy

“Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power.”
― Oscar Wilde
Buz
Posted: Wednesday, March 14, 2012 7:04:42 PM

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My safe word is, "Hoochiecoochiemamameiaholycowmuthafucka!"

Fugly
Posted: Wednesday, March 14, 2012 9:02:56 PM

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Joined: 9/11/2010
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My safe word/s are simple and varied -

Oh fuck, the husband (or wife) is home - guaranteed stopper

More - I insist on that one when I am feeling bitchy evil4

or my favorite expression - Fuck me - again when I am feeling bitchy LOL

only joshing - I take the safe words very seriously (probably the only real thing I do) and as Wellmademale said, always have a back up using gestures just in case you're gagged, have a mouth full of cock, dildo etc.


Buz wrote:
My safe word is, "Hoochiecoochiemamameiaholycowmuthafucka!"

Oh, I thought that was your cum scream, not safe word Embarassed Sorry, next time I won't just stand back and laugh at you, I will pull out. evil4 You do have to admit though, it was pretty funny hearing you scream it over and over and .....
secretcharm
Posted: Wednesday, March 14, 2012 9:24:08 PM

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what if he said "Fug me!" ? Fugly
or

Sorryforbeingawhineybitch!" crybaby

“Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power.”
― Oscar Wilde
Fugly
Posted: Thursday, March 15, 2012 12:04:11 AM

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secretcharm wrote:
what if he said "Fug me!" ? Fugly
or

Sorryforbeingawhineybitch!" crybaby


If he said "Fug me!", I think even I would stop and say a little prayer for him. Poor bastard, think the horns!

Sorryforbeingawhineybitch - well that deserves 'The Fug' for being so whiney! a1089

L35

SweetPenny
Posted: Monday, March 26, 2012 9:45:50 AM

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In my opinion when two people are just beginning to get to know each other, "no" and "stop" should be honored even if they aren't the designated safe words.
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, October 24, 2012 7:28:55 PM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
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My pet's safe word is her real name. Nobody, I don't care how deeply in the throes of your orgasm you are, screams out their own name!

As for a safe signal, we got a red dog ball with a bell inside. When the scene calls for her to be gagged (and I LOVE her in a ball gag!) she has the safeball in her hand. She can drop it or throw it and the ball, coupled with the sound of the bell inside, tells me to stop.

I also agree with the poster that said in the beginning, "No" and "Stop" should be honored as safewords as well.

Safewords and Safesignals are extremely important in scene play. You can't always predict what will make someone uncomfortable and having an "out" to use when things get rough is vital.

kylie_kained
Posted: Wednesday, October 24, 2012 8:39:31 PM

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Location: Over your Knee Screaming and Kicking!, United King
For a beginner the best way to start is with the traffic light system,
Green, is fine

Amber, things are getting close to stop

Red, Stop

That's the easiest system used.
















Guest
Posted: Sunday, January 06, 2013 6:54:20 PM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
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A word you can say that means no matter what everything is stopping . Your master may be pissed at you but he should have enough respect for you to stop. If you can't speak then use a hand signal
Sensei
Posted: Sunday, January 06, 2013 8:30:13 PM

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Location: United States
My favorite suggested safe word is "mercy."

"No" is a bad choice, as is "please."

But the first priority is for everyone to be on the same page. Some people choose not to play games with negative words like "no" or "stop," and that's fine so long as everyone has the same expectations.

My novel, The Society, is available now in the Kindle Store: http://www.amazon.com/The-Society-ebook/dp/B00BPF9U2I
steven6969
Posted: Wednesday, January 16, 2013 2:01:56 PM

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Location: northampton, United Kingdom
use a strange word like a colour saying yellow or orange would stop all playing
as a friend of mine said yellow means your close to the safe word and red is when u get there
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