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Top, bottom or switch? Options · View
Dudealicious
Posted: Friday, March 09, 2012 10:18:13 AM

Rank: Wise Ass

Joined: 11/12/2010
Posts: 5,340
Location: The center of the universe, Canada
Ok, first of all I would like to thank the Lush powers that be for creating this new section here. I am sure there will be some great topics posted and good conversation about all things BDSM.

So I now pose this question to you, are you a Top, bottom or do you consider yourself a switch?

The night that changed my life, a four part series of a married man lusting after his co-worker

Callisto
Posted: Friday, March 09, 2012 10:37:11 AM

Rank: Moderator

Joined: 8/23/2010
Posts: 2,732
Location: Forever Damaged , United States
First of all, I want to point out that Dude didn't answer his own question.

As for me, I'm going to say that I'm a Top. Now with that said, if I found someone that I truly trusted completely, I would definitely be a bottom. So does that make me a switch? haha maybe I should have just said that in the first place.
Catnip
Posted: Friday, March 09, 2012 11:01:42 AM

Rank: Internet Sensation

Joined: 3/30/2009
Posts: 3,972
Location: Cloudy dreams., Sweden

If I dominate anyone it's because they've told me to do it, I find it more amusing than arousing.
Says it all no?

Dudealicious
Posted: Friday, March 09, 2012 11:15:02 AM

Rank: Wise Ass

Joined: 11/12/2010
Posts: 5,340
Location: The center of the universe, Canada
Callisto wrote:
First of all, I want to point out that Dude didn't answer his own question.


Thanks for the call out on that one, you deserve a spanking (kidding!)
I will take your challenge Callisto, I myself am a Top. I am a very strong personality and like control.

Being a Top comes with a lot of responsibility, you need to have your sub trust you entirely. They will be pushing their boundaries for you and need to know you won't abuse them. Appropriate rules need to be made to ensure that both of you are on the same page.

A bottom however has an enourmous amount of "power" in the relationship. In fact it could be argued that they are in control. It is the Top's dominant personality that keeps the sub in check. The bottom can easily not admit that they have broken their Dom / Domme's rules, and accept their punishment for doing so. Therefore having slight control in the relationship.

The night that changed my life, a four part series of a married man lusting after his co-worker

jgg123
Posted: Friday, March 09, 2012 9:51:07 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 9/4/2010
Posts: 20
Location: lost in thought, United States
Let me also follow suit with Dude and say very happy to see this space.

I'm a top

I am currently involved with someone who was once a good friend of mine, new to this way of doing things. learning more everyday looking forward to seeing all of the posts in here.
TheDevilsWeakness
Posted: Saturday, March 10, 2012 1:42:48 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 7/19/2011
Posts: 1,276
Location: I'm the girl that your father hoped he could date.
Dudealicious wrote:

A bottom however has an enourmous amount of "power" in the relationship. In fact it could be argued that they are in control. It is the Top's dominant personality that keeps the sub in check. The bottom can easily not admit that they have broken their Dom / Domme's rules, and accept their punishment for doing so. Therefore having slight control in the relationship.



I am a bottom or submissive...

I give control to someone I admire, trust and respect. And to someone I can be honest with.
If I feel the need to lie to avoid punishment for breaking my Dom's rules, then I'm with the wrong Dom.
I don't feel safe or I don't respect him enough to tell him the truth.

Ruthie
Posted: Sunday, March 11, 2012 1:08:11 AM

Rank: Story Verifier

Joined: 10/21/2010
Posts: 2,189
Location: United States
I'm a bottom, a sub, a slave to my lover. I give myself to him to do with as he pleases.
Naughty_Magician
Posted: Monday, March 12, 2012 10:31:23 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 5/21/2011
Posts: 1,800
Location: Sublime Heights, Germany
I'm a Dom. Always have been one and always will be.

Had a dream I was king, I woke up still king!!
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, March 14, 2012 5:16:54 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 474,002
I've been everywhere in the spectrum, Dom/Mistress,switch and so on....I am currently a sub and the more I realize within myself the more I realize I've always been a sub I just didn't like giving up the control...I don't think it will ever change...I will always be sub...For me it was a life journey thing...
Ravyn
Posted: Sunday, March 18, 2012 8:48:49 PM

Rank: Cock Connoisseur

Joined: 4/26/2010
Posts: 2,056
Location: Bend, United States
TheDevilsWeakness wrote:



I am a bottom or submissive...

I give control to someone I admire, trust and respect. And to someone I can be honest with.
If I feel the need to lie to avoid punishment for breaking my Dom's rules, then I'm with the wrong Dom.
I don't feel safe or I don't respect him enough to tell him the truth.


Very well said TDW I am a submissive and feel the same way. I will only give that control to someone I trust and respect and who will show it in return. It is not an easy journey to find.

ready4
Posted: Monday, March 19, 2012 5:40:34 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 12/13/2011
Posts: 153
Location: United States
a bottom who knows his place
Guest
Posted: Thursday, March 29, 2012 3:51:17 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 474,002
I'm a switch. I'll only allow myself to be dominated by a woman but I'll happily dominate a man or a woman, but preferably a man. If a man wants to dominate me, I must trust him fully, but I'd still rather be dominating him and being dominated by her.
firefytr31
Posted: Thursday, March 29, 2012 5:23:00 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/8/2009
Posts: 144
Location: Canada
switch I enjoy having a women ride me and I like being on top too. If I get the chance with a guy I would like to do the same
Guest
Posted: Friday, March 30, 2012 9:08:54 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 474,002
Switch - it would be a shame to bar oneself from 50% of the available experiences!
Unlaw
Posted: Sunday, April 01, 2012 9:26:02 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/2/2011
Posts: 373
Location: Planet Earth, Canada
I'm more of a top at times but would consider myself a switch, I don't mind giving up control...I enjoy it.
MoonlightSerenity
Posted: Sunday, April 01, 2012 11:58:07 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/7/2012
Posts: 853
Location: United Kingdom
I would call myself a switch, but at the moment I'm more of a submissive than a dominant (doesn't stop me from trying to dominate my Master on occasion though).

Teased and Tormented -My very first story and competition entry is now up!
Jack_42
Posted: Monday, April 02, 2012 12:40:39 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/21/2009
Posts: 978
Location: Prague, Czech Republic
Don't quite understand this fixation with labels I would say over under sideways down anything goes. Any sort of categorization has overtones of inhibition which sort of defeats the object.
Kosh05
Posted: Tuesday, April 03, 2012 8:04:17 AM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 7/24/2009
Posts: 5
Location: Ohio, United States
I make a lousy Dom and a worse sub, i like a 50/50 partnership... that's when things work out for the best in my experience... i had a thing for a sub once, her favorite saying was "You're the boss of me" but it got boring really quick, i like a partner with a little ambition of her own who doesn't mind experimenting.

I feel like Da Vinci, His last words were "I have offended God and mankind because my work did not reach the quality it should have."
Bunny12
Posted: Thursday, April 26, 2012 7:38:21 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/2/2009
Posts: 1,001
Location: My own little world, United States
I'm totally a natural top but can switch on rare occasion with the right person. I get approached by tops wanting to try being submissive to me all the time but decline as I think they really have a conquer the dom fantasy somewhere in there lol

Bunny12


Bunny Rabbits cute and fuzzy they want to love you but they have razor sharp teeth - don't piss them off!
Guest
Posted: Friday, April 27, 2012 12:44:09 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 474,002
I guess I have a different attitude about the labels and definitions. To me topping, like dominating, is a verb, not a noun. Submitting is the same, existing only in the action, not in some static form as a "thing". I think we tend to over-label things, partly as a result of the alleged information age in which we are so exposed to so much data and input that we try to use some form of "shorthand" as quick and easy labels to communicate.

That said, I suspect, as human beings, we are all what people call switches, constantly flowing form one to the other depending on what we experience and choose to do. But again, it's over labelling: at work we have to do what a boss tells us to do, are we then submissive to the boss? If we're driving and someone tries to cut us and we honk the horn and they back off, did we just dominate them? It gets a bit absurdist to my thinking to keep trying to apply inappropriate labels and definitions all the time.

I suppose for "tops", we define them as the assertive initiators of actions, the controllers, perhaps, but how a dominant can be a "bottom", then I don't understand. If we define a bottom as the catcher and the top as the pitcher, why then confuse the issue with dominant and submissive? It just seems pedantic. I know humans are prone to encompassing dichotomies, but a dominant bottom and a submissive top seem a little oxymoronic, like a weak tyrant or a cynical romantic. Maybe my mileage must vary...
aliceinwounderland69
Posted: Saturday, July 07, 2012 1:31:54 AM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 5/1/2011
Posts: 1
WmCutterBlack wrote:
I guess I have a different attitude about the labels and definitions. To me topping, like dominating, is a verb, not a noun. Submitting is the same, existing only in the action, not in some static form as a "thing". I think we tend to over-label things, partly as a result of the alleged information age in which we are so exposed to so much data and input that we try to use some form of "shorthand" as quick and easy labels to communicate.

That said, I suspect, as human beings, we are all what people call switches, constantly flowing form one to the other depending on what we experience and choose to do. But again, it's over labelling: at work we have to do what a boss tells us to do, are we then submissive to the boss? If we're driving and someone tries to cut us and we honk the horn and they back off, did we just dominate them? It gets a bit absurdist to my thinking to keep trying to apply inappropriate labels and definitions all the time.

I suppose for "tops", we define them as the assertive initiators of actions, the controllers, perhaps, but how a dominant can be a "bottom", then I don't understand. If we define a bottom as the catcher and the top as the pitcher, why then confuse the issue with dominant and submissive? It just seems pedantic. I know humans are prone to encompassing dichotomies, but a dominant bottom and a submissive top seem a little oxymoronic, like a weak tyrant or a cynical romantic. Maybe my mileage must vary...


Very very very well put cutterblack so i suppose the more appropriate question would be what position of power do you prefer to be in ,dominating (leading) or submissive (following) or do you prefer to have fun with both aka switch ( getting out of the way? )?

I personally tend to naturally be more dominating though i would like to find someone i feel comfortable enough with to be submissive .
Red_Dragon
Posted: Wednesday, July 11, 2012 10:05:30 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/4/2011
Posts: 731
Location: Charleston , United States
WmCutterBlack wrote:
I guess I have a different attitude about the labels and definitions. To me topping, like dominating, is a verb, not a noun. Submitting is the same, existing only in the action, not in some static form as a "thing". I think we tend to over-label things, partly as a result of the alleged information age in which we are so exposed to so much data and input that we try to use some form of "shorthand" as quick and easy labels to communicate.

That said, I suspect, as human beings, we are all what people call switches, constantly flowing form one to the other depending on what we experience and choose to do. But again, it's over labelling: at work we have to do what a boss tells us to do, are we then submissive to the boss? If we're driving and someone tries to cut us and we honk the horn and they back off, did we just dominate them? It gets a bit absurdist to my thinking to keep trying to apply inappropriate labels and definitions all the time.

I suppose for "tops", we define them as the assertive initiators of actions, the controllers, perhaps, but how a dominant can be a "bottom", then I don't understand. If we define a bottom as the catcher and the top as the pitcher, why then confuse the issue with dominant and submissive? It just seems pedantic. I know humans are prone to encompassing dichotomies, but a dominant bottom and a submissive top seem a little oxymoronic, like a weak tyrant or a cynical romantic. Maybe my mileage must vary...


Sorry to disagree but I believe all people are born either with a Dominate or a submissive personality. or in my case a Dominate personalitly is bought out of them at an early age so I would have to say I am all TOP

Guest
Posted: Friday, October 26, 2012 3:31:09 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 474,002
I think My name - Master Jonathan - pretty much solves this riddle!
Guest
Posted: Saturday, October 27, 2012 3:36:59 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 474,002
I am definitely a bottom!

I believe that trusting someone to have total control over your body is extremely sexy!!
winchestercple
Posted: Monday, October 29, 2012 12:56:44 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 10/13/2012
Posts: 12
i am sub, my hubby is dom occasionally switch
JamieW
Posted: Monday, October 29, 2012 1:38:48 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/22/2012
Posts: 231
Location: United Kingdom
I don't mind, bottom is more relaxing but you can't let her do all the work.
Poppet
Posted: Thursday, November 08, 2012 5:58:53 PM

Rank: Sweetest Cricket

Joined: 10/5/2012
Posts: 5,157
Location: You Inspire Me, United States
I'm a bottom/submissive.. I can have my "switchy" sides come out when it comes to foreplay but I think it's just fun to tease more then being a Dom. So I become more agreesive when the foreplay comes about otherwise I am His, He does to me as He pleases.

A Few Of My Favourites

Oral – Audio - Eating Of My Pussy
Erotic Poem - Audio - Sucking Cock
Reluctance – Masturbating Slut Exposed
Exhibitionism - Audio - Afternoon Park Delights
Masturbation - Audio - Recommended Read - Phone Sex
Masturbation - Audio - Recommend Read - Two AM Orgasms
Supernatural – Audio – Recommended Read - My Life As A Genie
Peter242
Posted: Saturday, December 29, 2012 11:23:10 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 3/4/2008
Posts: 55
I'm a dedicated bottom, much preferring to be disciplined by a dominant lady. However just recently there has been one lady, a switch, who let me spank her and it was so sexy. I've spanked other women, I suppose half heartedly, but this lady can take a really hard spanking and I know enjoys it.

I expect to stay a sub myself as I still enjoy the stinging feeling afterwards.
Guest
Posted: Saturday, January 05, 2013 7:30:47 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 474,002
Interesting topic. Before i knew much about BDSM, i would say i was switch. I have a pretty dominant side, can be very aggressive sexually. Until i met my Master. I am deliciously, deeply committed and submitted. Definitely bottom. Nothing gives me more pleasure than giving all control to him. Pleasing him, is my only purpose. But because i was very careful who i would give this gift, i chose someone I love, trust and cherish. In the end, pleasing him , pleases me. He is an amazing Dom. He knows me inside and out and knows my limits and breaking points.he knows what I need, what i want. There may be times I will be a Top.. But only because He allowed it, so doesn't that still make me a bottom?
TandT
Posted: Saturday, January 05, 2013 8:56:11 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 12/25/2012
Posts: 139
Location: United States
Top, bottom, sideways, upways, downways, behind, reverse...... im usually up for any of them, as long as it feels good and your partner is happy too. How are you supposed to know what feels best if you don't change it up?
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