Welcome Guest Search | Active Topics | Members | Log In | Register

Religion and Sex...Can they Coexist? Options · View
1Zratedgal
Posted: Saturday, March 03, 2012 11:16:09 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/1/2011
Posts: 618
Location: Northern California, United States
Some friends and I were having a conversation amongst ourselves that sparked our interest in others opinions.
We all have different backgrounds but have found ourselves gravitating to a modern Christian Church.
This church is very relaxed and not super strict like the Catholic church I was raised in.
My other friends have similar experiences growing up as well and we all enjoy the relaxed atmosphere.

With that said, we also share an open lifestyle and have many other friends we play with.
Some of us gals, feel the contradiction in what religion states as opposed to how we live our sexual lives.
We are women and men that enjoy sex with others but we choose to live our lives in service of Christ.
In the mainstream, this would be a sin. But in our world, we choose to ignore the opinions and ideals of the rest of the religious society and live with this contradiction.

I would like to hear from other Lushies and know what your opinions are on this.

Can my Hubby and I still be good Christians while enjoying sex with others?

What was your religious upbringing and how does it affect your sex lives?

Thank you!

Kisses!

Steph
Guest
Posted: Saturday, March 03, 2012 2:08:41 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,425
Does your "Christian" church have a book,laws or rules it follows? If so I suggest you read what it says if your going to be members of that particular organization. Or you could always ask the pastor/minister or whatever his title is, what the laws are of their beliefs. I don't think you're supposed to make it up as you go along. I believe that "Christians" are supposed to follow Jesus Christ and his teachings/ways. I've never heard of them agreeing to or allowing the sharing of wives or husbands. Also called adultery or a deviant lifestyle.
Good luck.
Guest
Posted: Saturday, March 03, 2012 2:39:36 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,425
I think you can coexist with both...just remember your following your deity you believe in, not your minister/church friends image religious organizations try to portray.

I have to say, I don't have a "religion" to follow but If I do believe in anything its love. It doesn't effect me unless I know that its something that's going to discriminate or go against my morals(which I wouldn't do anyway if that was the case).
Guest
Posted: Saturday, March 03, 2012 3:58:25 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,425
GypsyChild wrote:
I think you can coexist with both...just remember your following your deity you believe in, not your minister/church friends image religious organizations try to portray.


And according to her it's this.

Quote:
we choose to live our lives in service of Christ.


Which does have rules according to the church and their bible.
1Zratedgal
Posted: Sunday, March 04, 2012 11:08:36 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/1/2011
Posts: 618
Location: Northern California, United States
I thank you both for posting your comments!

Frankly, I am surprised this topic has not raised more posts to this thread.

Chefkathleen does point out some very basic and simple contradictions to our choice of lifestyle and how we believe we are adhering to the teachings of Christ while performing adultery and living a deviant lifestyle.

GypsyChild seems to take a similar viewpoint or attitude that we do. In our situation, our morals may not reflect the true teachings of Christ and we are bending what we believe to allow us the sinful pleasures we indulge in.

Kisses!

Steph
clum
Posted: Tuesday, March 06, 2012 12:52:21 PM

Rank: Clumeleon

Joined: 5/13/2011
Posts: 4,626
Location: Edinburgh, United Kingdom
I do not think that, living the way you do, you are being "good Christians". If it's something you wouldn't tell your priest/minister/whatever then you probably think it's a sin and therefore that your God does not approve of it. If you're going to follow an organised religion, I don't believe you should bend the rules to suit yourself.

I am, as most of this forum knows now, a Buddhist. All we care about is becoming happy and helping others to do so. There are no hard and fast rules, just the absolute faith that our good (bad) actions will have good (bad) consequences. There are no hard and fast rules (many people think we can't drink or smoke or eat meat but nowhere in the literature does it say this) and certainly no one tells you what you can and cannot do regarding sex.

Chant Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo with all your heart and the benefits you receive will be immeasurable. :)

Every day is a school day.
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, March 06, 2012 4:30:20 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,425
1Zratedgal wrote:
Frankly, I am surprised this topic has not raised more posts to this thread.


Are you? Religion, especially with regards to sex, is a difficult topic to jump in to....very difficult for everyone to remain calm and civilised about it, as with any discussion with regards to religion - unfortunately.

For myself, I wouldn't attempt to comment because I don't feel I'd able to be unbiased, nor do I feel that I know enough about particular stems of religion (being thoroughly uninterested in religion, naive as that may make me sound!) to put together a well rounded comment.

I do however wish you all the best with the conclusion that you come to!
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, March 06, 2012 9:18:00 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,425
Sex and religion, yes they can coexist. As they have for a long time. But, and here is the divining rod, your happy medium which you seek is basically "having one's cake and eating too." By all that is written, if you have belief but go against pretty much everything that is prescribed, then no, hence the perpetual grind.

What do you want, what do you believe? Know it, live it, love it. But don't offer disclaimer, or ask for an escape clause.
Nikki703
Posted: Wednesday, March 07, 2012 4:51:17 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/7/2009
Posts: 12,681
Location: The Other Side Of The Mirror
As a Catholic, I know a lot of how I live my life and choices I have made goes against the beliefs of the church. But the church also has its own skeletons too. I believe in God and also believe when all is said and done, as long as i have basically been a good person and nothing I have done has hurt anyone else, I will be forgiven.

Maybe I am kidding myself feeling that way, but afterall, isnt that what its all about, having faith in your God.
midwest_sweetheart
Posted: Wednesday, March 07, 2012 6:08:53 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 12/19/2011
Posts: 119
Location: United States
I firmly believe sex and religion can coexist but they need to so called "coexist" in a way that is "in line" with the beliefs you follow! I am a christian and just like every other person on this site sin daily. We all fail, we all fall, and we all need to ask for forgiveness. If we were all perfect we wouldn't be on earth and we wouldn't be human! Jesus is the only person the word perfection describes! He died on the cross so we would all be forgiven. That does not however mean you can go against the beliefs you follow and be continually forgiven. Its like the story of Mary Magdalene... which I will not get into on here! But if you think about it... everyone has sinned so nobody can point a finger at you and tell you that you are a sinner and that God's light doesn't shine on you. But when you have to pose a question such as the one you did you are obviously feeling convicted and feeling that what you are doing is maybe not right... so if you have feelings that something you are doing is wrong... it probably is wrong!
If you are doing things that do not line up with your beliefs maybe you need to reevaluate your choices! As for the sex part of this post... When you are married and choosing to have sex with your husband you are not breaking any so called "religious laws" however when you choose to have sex with other people as well (I understand this is your choice and its a free world) you are breaking one of the 10 commandments. Even if both partners are fine with it I hate to break it to you but God isn't! Its called adultery whether your both fine with it or not.. there is no way around it.
On the other hand in God's eyes sin is sin... but in order to be forgiven you need to repent. Your heart needs to repent, your entire being needs to repent. But you also can't keep committing the same sin over and over again and then repent. Yes God will always forgive us when we repent and seek his forgiveness. But just because we are forgiven because we truly repent why continue to sin just to seek God's forgiveness over and over again. God asks us to obey him and his laws but he isn't going to force us to obey him. You have to eventually choose whether you want to be obedient to your fleshly desires or if you want to be obedient to your God.
With all this being said I am not trying to preach to you because God knows I fail and fall at times as well.
Maybe spend sometime reading Romans 6:1-3
aalily
Posted: Friday, March 09, 2012 12:17:15 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 6/23/2011
Posts: 53
Location: London Baby!
Well it does say in the bible that sex was to be in a marriage only, and for you to only have 1 sexual partner. So I guess not! But i'm sure you can find plenty of ways to entertain each other. If you really do want to do it though, just do it.

You must give up the life that you had planned, in order to live the life that is waiting for you..
1Zratedgal
Posted: Friday, March 09, 2012 11:21:43 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/1/2011
Posts: 618
Location: Northern California, United States
I thank all you others who have stopped by and posted your comments!

Clum, I understand where you are coming from as my Hubby and his family were raised in the Buddhist influences. But I believe you are missing their main focus. In which one is supposed to strive to achieve "Enlightenment". However I do agree with your viewpoint about us not being good Christians. I thank you for your comment and viewpoint!

LittleBambi, thank you for your post! Yes! I am surprise as I was thinking that I would stir up a pot with a lot of controversy and with this being an open forum, I was expecting many comments that would show how volatile and difficult people would find the subject. It wasn't started to have comments that were unbiased. It was to get the opinions and experiences from the members who have a bias or conviction and to hear their viewpoints. I was not looking to form a new choice, decision or conclusion, but rather to see how others live with a sexually active lifestyle and also with their form of religions coexisting.
Thank you for your post!

Eviotis, I think you have a good perspective and really got to the heart of the issue, Live it but don't look for an escape clause! Thank you for your comment!

Nikki, Thank you Sweetie! I enjoyed how clear and distinct you put it! I feel the same way! Maybe I and our friends are kidding ourselves! But we are continuing our support of others and keeping our faith in the Lord!

Flirtygirl! You Nailed it! Thank you! Thank You! THANK YOU!!! We are living a contradiction and sinning each day. We do not need to worry about the judgement of others but rather the Lord himself. And we are breaking one of the commandments willingly and trying to justify our lives and services to the Lord by thinking of all our good services to him, offsets our sins. Like Nikki stated, we are just fooling ourselves. I truly appreciate you posting your comments!

aalily, You put it in simple terms and I wish it were that way! But life is not so simple. Thank you for commenting!



THANK YOU All for your posts!

Kisses!

Steph
clum
Posted: Saturday, March 10, 2012 8:16:11 AM

Rank: Clumeleon

Joined: 5/13/2011
Posts: 4,626
Location: Edinburgh, United Kingdom
1Zratedgal wrote:
Clum, I understand where you are coming from as my Hubby and his family were raised in the Buddhist influences. But I believe you are missing their main focus. In which one is supposed to strive to achieve "Enlightenment". However I do agree with your viewpoint about us not being good Christians. I thank you for your comment and viewpoint!


I don't believe I'm missing anything; I'm going to assume that your husband's family practice a different "strand" of Buddhism. You've made the big assumptions that I haven't already achieved enlightenment, whatever that really means. My religion is definitely all about striving for the happiness of myself and others.

Every day is a school day.
iceman7570
Posted: Sunday, March 11, 2012 1:09:44 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 8/10/2011
Posts: 22
Location: United States
I do believe both can co-exist ..... If a person looks at religion as its quoted in the bible your gonna miss alot, it has been rewritten numerous times by clerics who choose to use it as a tool to control and influence thoughts. They just last yr rewrote parts of it again.....lol. In history it was the church at one time who ran the brothels..........
lafayettemister
Posted: Monday, March 12, 2012 7:25:37 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/4/2010
Posts: 6,373
Location: Alabama, United States
It depends on what you mean by "religion". Do you mean what is taught to you in church? Which even now in a "modern" Christian church is going to be based in part on the dogma from other denominations. My personal opinion is to not let any rules or guidelines set by MAN in a religious group. The pope, Methodist Bishop, Baptist deacons, whoever. The are all men and most of what they most commonly try to shove down their parishoners throats is dogma and rules set forth by other men from hundreds of years ago.

Believe in your God how you see fit. Read the Bible. That's the only answers you'll need. In the Old Testament, men had multiple wives. Those old fuckers could "take" a wife whenever he saw fit. If he saw a hottie chick and wanted to bang her, he'd just marry her. Of course back then the men needed to impregnate as many women as possible. He needed to breed enough workers and fighters to defend his little plot of land.

The biggest issue with your lifestyle, in a religous/biblical sense is the sexy outside of marriage. Adultery. But, if spouses grant permission to one another to fuck others then is it really adultery? Adultery is normally viewed as the betrayal of marriage vows and the marital bed. If there is no betrayal, I'm not sure it is adultery. Maybe that's just my way to justify it.

Being a "sinner" in one aspect of your life doesn't make you disposable or expendable to God. Religion and belief is not an "all or nothing" concept.

edit... and as the poster above me stated. the Bible has been rewritten, edited, gutted, paraphrased, and altered for centuries. Some unintentional and some very intentional. who knows what was actually in the first Bible. I'd love to read the missing parts and missing Gospels.





When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates
1Zratedgal
Posted: Monday, March 12, 2012 9:39:44 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/1/2011
Posts: 618
Location: Northern California, United States
iceman and lafayettemister, I believe you both stated what I was trying to say in which the bible was written by men and with all the changes over the years, what is true to the original form and changed by the persons interpretations.

In any case, I believe lafayattemister has put my mental dilemma into terms that make sense. Or at least make sense for ourselves and our friends who exchange lovers freely and still live with Christ in our hearts. We are doing it willingly without betrayal to our marriages. Like he said, it may be our way to justify it but with everyone being consenting and knowing who we are with besides our spouses.

The weird thing is that this conversation has come up frequently with those we are playing with since we all are part of the same church and are active members. We may be ignoring the Bible, the Commandments and any other scriptures but we are not out hunting for others to convert to our ways.

Kisses!

Steph
lilaudrie
Posted: Friday, March 23, 2012 1:49:13 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/7/2012
Posts: 250
Location: United States
I believe they've both been around about as long as we have...so the answer must be yes, despite anything that either side has to say about it...
Guest
Posted: Friday, July 20, 2012 2:51:27 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,425
I'm an atheist, but let me give you my take.

The Bible was written by man who thought they were doing what's right. Kosher laws were made to keep people from being sick. It's not God that punished man for eating cloven hoofed animals, it's the Salmonella.

There is nothing wrong with sex. Consider that Sarah gave her slave to Abraham to procreate because she was barren. God didn't seem to have a problem with that, just wanted Abraham to have faith.

The bottom line is, are you a good person. Are you happy with yourself? Are you and your husband happy? Are you hurting anyone? If not, then what difference does it make if you sleep with someone else? If there is a God, then I'm sure all he wants is for us to treat each other well, as we would like to be treated. Do that, and your fine.

Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone. Judge not lest ye be judged.

Tell those sticks in the mud to mind their own business.
Guest
Posted: Friday, July 20, 2012 6:07:14 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,425
flirtygirl wrote:
I firmly believe sex and religion can coexist but they need to so called "coexist" in a way that is "in line" with the beliefs you follow! I am a christian and just like every other person on this site sin daily. We all fail, we all fall, and we all need to ask for forgiveness. If we were all perfect we wouldn't be on earth and we wouldn't be human! Jesus is the only person the word perfection describes! He died on the cross so we would all be forgiven. That does not however mean you can go against the beliefs you follow and be continually forgiven. Its like the story of Mary Magdalene... which I will not get into on here! But if you think about it... everyone has sinned so nobody can point a finger at you and tell you that you are a sinner and that God's light doesn't shine on you. But when you have to pose a question such as the one you did you are obviously feeling convicted and feeling that what you are doing is maybe not right... so if you have feelings that something you are doing is wrong... it probably is wrong!
If you are doing things that do not line up with your beliefs maybe you need to reevaluate your choices! As for the sex part of this post... When you are married and choosing to have sex with your husband you are not breaking any so called "religious laws" however when you choose to have sex with other people as well (I understand this is your choice and its a free world) you are breaking one of the 10 commandments. Even if both partners are fine with it I hate to break it to you but God isn't! Its called adultery whether your both fine with it or not.. there is no way around it.
On the other hand in God's eyes sin is sin... but in order to be forgiven you need to repent. Your heart needs to repent, your entire being needs to repent. But you also can't keep committing the same sin over and over again and then repent. Yes God will always forgive us when we repent and seek his forgiveness. But just because we are forgiven because we truly repent why continue to sin just to seek God's forgiveness over and over again. God asks us to obey him and his laws but he isn't going to force us to obey him. You have to eventually choose whether you want to be obedient to your fleshly desires or if you want to be obedient to your God.
With all this being said I am not trying to preach to you because God knows I fail and fall at times as well.
Maybe spend sometime reading Romans 6:1-3



I fully understand where you are going with this, but the one thing you've forgotten is that we now fall under the New Covenant, but at the same time try and understand what God has planned out for his people. When we look back at the Old testament many things come to mind. Yes many men had multiple wives, yet he destroyed the Tower of Babel because they became sexual deviant

You've got to find the balance inside of you as to how literal you want to take the bible and your faith. You can't have faith without knowing and understanding the bible.

Now my beliefs: We are all sinners and fall short of his glory, but through Jesus we are saved.

I also believe that God created sex to be enjoyable to use so we would willing multiply his people.
Users browsing this topic
Guest 


Forum Jump
You cannot post new topics in this forum.
You cannot reply to topics in this forum.
You cannot delete your posts in this forum.
You cannot edit your posts in this forum.
You cannot create polls in this forum.
You cannot vote in polls in this forum.

Main Forum RSS : RSS

Powered by Yet Another Forum.net version 1.9.1.6 (NET v4.0) - 11/14/2007
Copyright © 2003-2006 Yet Another Forum.net. All rights reserved.