Welcome Guest Search | Active Topics | Members | Log In | Register

Help - with my story Options · View
oMo
Posted: Monday, April 09, 2012 8:27:17 AM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 4/7/2012
Posts: 3
Location: United Kingdom
I have been reading stories on the site for a long time but only registered a short while ago, I need help to be able to do my story like some of the wonderful ones i frequently read.

As part of a book club im a member of we are all writing "Short Stories" to be read by the other members we have covered erotic fiction before so several people are writing about relationships/dates etc. I have decided to write about a rather romantic date i went on many years ago. I have written 4 pages though I feel what i have done is too slow - i would love to make it flow like some of the stories on this site though im worried its too slow building up to the sex not descriptive enough and boring. I could desperately do with some help. I want to make an impression on my fellow club members and would be so grateful if anyone might want to read it or give me any help.

Also as its a real story do i leave names etc in or change them?

Page 1 - my morning - travelling to the date meeting
Page 2 - dinner out, theatre, back to hers
page 3 - sex
page 4 - sex/next morning

Thanks all for any help.
oMo
Posted: Monday, April 09, 2012 8:49:24 AM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 4/7/2012
Posts: 3
Location: United Kingdom
if anyone would be interested to read please message me and i will send it for your review - when finished i will also be posting the story to this site :-)
Guest
Posted: Monday, April 09, 2012 8:57:47 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,748
One of the challenges for beginning writers is knowing when and where to begin a story. Writers talk frequently about "the hook" - an opening sequence or paragraph that draws the readers' attention and makes them keep reading to see what happens next. Writers often think they must tell a story as it unfolds chronologically, from beginning to end, but that's very "old school". The contemporary reader doesn't have the time or won't make the time to plow through a bunch of "set up" which is why many modern writers start a story in the middle of some action, draw the reader in with a hint of what's to come later, then back-fill a bit more of "the beginning".

For example, you could start with some heavy flirting and even "hidden" petting in the restaurant, increase the pace and tempo of petting at the theatre, so that by the time you get to her place, the sensuality and desire is boiling over. Also I might suggest that the first sex scene is with them almost fully clothed and extremely passionate, even hurried, then leave a trail of discarded clothes to the bedroom for sex scene number two/next morning. Finally, close with some pillow talk in which he confesses the anxiety/nervousness he experienced before the date...maybe he masturbated thinking of how it might go and also so that he wouldn't sport an obvious erection when they meet...at which point she could start stroking him asking "Did you do it like this?" which leads to fade-out of the story.

These are just suggestions as to how the dynamic of the story could build several tension points. But -- for sure -- start somewhere with "action" not the slow process of getting ready for the date.
Mistress_of_words
Posted: Friday, April 13, 2012 2:47:11 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/14/2011
Posts: 591
Location: At my keyboard, writing stories for you
Hi,
I think something that many novice writers trip up on is thinking that their first draft should be perfect. You might think your work is a bit slow so far, but keep going with it. First get the ideas down on the page. Then you can take a step back and try to figure out why it's coming across slow.

You might find, as WCB suggests, that you're not starting it in the right place. Look for where the story itself actually starts, it might not be where you thought it was.

How's it going since you posted the message?


Guest
Posted: Friday, April 13, 2012 2:52:50 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,748
Sometimes you have to write the story, then go back and edit it. More than once. Many will tell you that you need to "show" and not "tell", but it is very difficult to "show" when your telling a short episode. The best way to "speed up" the story is to introduce as much dialogue as possible.
Guest
Posted: Friday, April 13, 2012 7:44:33 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,748
Stories, like poems in particular, often "start" where the author has ended them. I often recommend to poets that they re-write the poem using the last line as the first because it is usually a strong line or phrase. Some of the better writers write the first draft in a passionate flow of expression and impressions, writing, so to speak, from the images and senses they feel and think about the story and its progression. Then, once you know how you want the story to end (how you want the reader to feel/think after reading it), you can apply technique to kind of re-write the story backwards so that the ending seems "inevitable" (yet in some cases still surprising). I know this sounds technical, but good writing is made up of passion and sensual detail coupled with the skill set of good style/technique/grammar etc etc. Your mileage may vary.
Michael
Posted: Saturday, April 14, 2012 5:39:18 PM

Rank: Author

Joined: 10/22/2011
Posts: 2,005
Location: Expat in, Russia
As these skilled writers have stated, a story need not start in the beginning. I prefer to start the story at the point that it becomes interesting and capture the readers attention. It is quite easy to pick up the earlier events in a few sentences later in the story.

I would refrain from using real full names without permission.

But perhaps most important is to treat each writing episode as an opportunity to express yourself, to enjoy it and to learn.




Users browsing this topic
Guest 


Forum Jump
You cannot post new topics in this forum.
You cannot reply to topics in this forum.
You cannot delete your posts in this forum.
You cannot edit your posts in this forum.
You cannot create polls in this forum.
You cannot vote in polls in this forum.

Main Forum RSS : RSS

Powered by Yet Another Forum.net version 1.9.1.6 (NET v4.0) - 11/14/2007
Copyright © 2003-2006 Yet Another Forum.net. All rights reserved.