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Boyfriend didn't like my poem... Options · View
glossmylips
Posted: Sunday, April 15, 2012 6:42:53 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 3/20/2011
Posts: 11
This is more of a whinge than anything else, but I am absolutely gutted. I wrote the poem 'I love' for my boyfriend, but when I plucked up the courage to finally show him he really wasn't impressed. I'm sure his reaction wasn't intentional, but he said it made him feel self concious and asked me if it was 're-fried' knowing I had dabbled in erotic lit before. I was so hurt he would even think this, completely dismissing every line being about the intimate moments we shared.

I guess some guys just aren't into it Fugly
Sandrine
Posted: Sunday, April 15, 2012 8:08:33 AM

Rank: Senior Story Verifier

Joined: 5/16/2010
Posts: 1,327
Location: 12 hours away from him, United States
I'm really sorry he reacted that way. Maybe it was something he didn't expect and it caught him off guard. Either way, keep writing what you feel and don't let him discourage you. Feelings are powerful and feelings put into words are meant to be shared with a positive support system.

In custody.

I love baseball!!!


LauraLee_sugah
Posted: Sunday, April 15, 2012 7:36:00 PM

Rank: Purveyor of Sweetness

Joined: 9/10/2011
Posts: 2,345
Location: the sweet, sunny south, United States
just keep being real.... maybe he was just surprised that you would write about him......

Sirene_Jaune
Posted: Sunday, April 15, 2012 10:08:53 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 5/6/2011
Posts: 771
Location: In my mind, Australia
It hurts when a love one doesn't recognise the hard work you put in. Just think that others out there do love your work. Perhaps he was taken aback by what you have written.

Giving you hugs. Big Hugs

Axl - Take a look at our piercing menu.

Daria - I don't think that's how you spell "uvula."

Axl - That's not "uvula."

From: "Daria" episode "Pierce Me"
SydneySider
Posted: Sunday, April 15, 2012 10:10:12 PM

Rank: Chat Moderator

Joined: 11/6/2011
Posts: 1,704
Location: Sydney, Australia
Sorry, but what a dick. Its the ultimate form of flattery...some guys may not know how to react, but no excuse to be like that..

glossmylips
Posted: Monday, April 16, 2012 4:33:33 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 3/20/2011
Posts: 11
Such a shame as I thought it would be something special we could have between us, something no other girl has done for him before.

*shrugs*
Guest
Posted: Monday, April 16, 2012 5:46:05 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,775
Some people just don't get it...

I'd have been really disappointed too...

HUGS XXX
scooter
Posted: Monday, April 16, 2012 6:09:05 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/24/2010
Posts: 2,689
Location: Ohio
Like I've said before GlossMyLips,
You certainly have a way with your tongue,
and your pen.

I say: keep writing lady.
Give the man a new lease on your relationship.
Maybe he already realises that he didn't quite react appropriately.
In his mind, he could be begging for you to ask again!

Wouldn't it be great!
Guest
Posted: Friday, July 20, 2012 1:10:37 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,775
Men and women are different. Get used to it, embrace it. Give a man a birthday card and he'll throw it away, or if he's smart, he'll throw it in a drawer to give the guise that he cares. Most things we like, guys do only because they know we like it. Poetry is one of those things. They don't want to take us to a play or musical. Most don't want to take us to a drama. So to hell with them. Go with a girlfriend where you both enjoy it and then enjoy each other ;)
LadyX
Posted: Friday, July 20, 2012 1:24:16 PM

Rank: Artistic Tart

Joined: 9/25/2009
Posts: 4,827
glossmylips wrote:
This is more of a whinge than anything else, but I am absolutely gutted. I wrote the poem 'I love' for my boyfriend, but when I plucked up the courage to finally show him he really wasn't impressed. I'm sure his reaction wasn't intentional, but he said it made him feel self concious and asked me if it was 're-fried' knowing I had dabbled in erotic lit before. I was so hurt he would even think this, completely dismissing every line being about the intimate moments we shared.

I guess some guys just aren't into it Fugly


I know exactly where you're coming from. The things that we love, and that interest and excite us, we always hope that those we love with share those things with us. And when it doesn't work that way, it's really hard to swallow. And the erotica thing...well, unfortunately for some, it carries a double-edged stigma. On one hand, they're taken aback that we'd choose to dabble in 'that' genre ("like, why not write something normal?"), like it's somehow a lesser thing, but on the other hand, they worry that it's leading you through a second life, and yes, whatever you write, was that really about somebody else before? Is it about somebody else right now?

And all of these things are intensified when you include him in your art. And yes, some of it probably has to do with the fact that many guys just don't respond to things expressed through art the same way many girls do. I do hope that if the things you choose to write about are important to you, and you've weighed your priorities accordingly, that you don't feel discouraged about continuing as a result.

Best of luck.
elitfromnorth
Posted: Friday, July 20, 2012 1:28:14 PM

Rank: Brawling Berserker

Joined: 2/12/2012
Posts: 1,620
Location: Burrowed, Norway
Don't think dumping him is your best option. Some guys aren't succeptible to poetry. Maybe you were just a bit unlucky in that department, but that doesn't mean you should be so gutted about it. I can understand being gutted, because after all you wrote it for him, but don't think he thinks your writing is crap.

Personally I wouldn't put much into it. I'm sure he shows affection towards you in other ways and appreciates you being there. So there's one thing that he don't like. So what?

"It's at that point you realise Lady Luck is actually a hooker, and you're fresh out of cash."
adele
Posted: Friday, July 20, 2012 8:51:28 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/8/2011
Posts: 20,668
Location: if I knew where I was then I would not be here...
it sucks when we do something we think is really nice for someone and then they don't appreciate it or react like we thought they would or should. In the long run, just keep doing the things you want to do and get satisfaction from knowing why you did it. Maybe eventually, those people will get it.

There is no mark of self,
And no mark of others,
No mark of living beings,
And no mark of a life.


-- The Diamond Sutra
Magical_felix
Posted: Monday, July 23, 2012 1:49:44 PM

Rank: Wild at Heart

Joined: 4/3/2010
Posts: 4,913
Location: California
glossmylips wrote:
This is more of a whinge than anything else, but I am absolutely gutted. I wrote the poem 'I love' for my boyfriend, but when I plucked up the courage to finally show him he really wasn't impressed. I'm sure his reaction wasn't intentional, but he said it made him feel self concious and asked me if it was 're-fried' knowing I had dabbled in erotic lit before. I was so hurt he would even think this, completely dismissing every line being about the intimate moments we shared.

I guess some guys just aren't into it Fugly


There is absolutely no background here. We are to assume that he has never caught you saying something to him that you say to others or read him poetry that wasn't about him before that this new poem sounded a lot like. If these thing are in your past then his reservations, dickish as they may be, are still justifiable.

You mention he felt self conscious. In what way? Like he's not ready for that kind of affection? It wasn't the first time you told him you loved him was it? That can be kinda intense, like a whole poem, like if the relationship isn't there yet. I mean if has been telling you and you haven't yet then thats cool I guess, a poem. Maybe he would rather you say it. Like it's easier to write things down.

Was the poem bad in general? Like if it wasn't your poem about him... Would he have been impressed going into it a clean slate? Maybe he's just a tough critic.

Was it after a fight and could this poem been misinterpreted as an easy way for you to get off the hook? His walls might be up then.

Warning: Look away if brutal honesty offends you. You have a weak heart. You are an oversensitive lush wuss.

Look, you wrote a poem to a guy telling him you love him. He reacted in a dismissive way. When a guy loves a chick and she goes so far as to wrote a poem telling her she loves him then that guy is probably gonna have a good day. If none of the above variables I stated come into play and he reacted this way just because..I mean, like you poured your heart out and he didn't care and went so far as to accuse you of writing it about someone else possibly? What would you think if you weren't the girl in this situation? This guy may not be in the same place you are at and it sucks major ass, I know, we have all been there but that's the truth.



Magical_felix
Posted: Monday, July 23, 2012 1:50:35 PM

Rank: Wild at Heart

Joined: 4/3/2010
Posts: 4,913
Location: California
Fuck me I should have looked at the damn date this was posted. what a waste of time.



Guest
Posted: Tuesday, July 24, 2012 7:32:22 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,775
I used to have a book of poems I had written since High School. Some time after the wedding, I handed my one true love my heart, literally. I think she read like, maybe two, and said, "Yeah, that's nice." I should have seen it coming. And yes, I did throw the book away after the divorce.

Moral: write for yourself, and pour your heart on the page. It just feels better.

Gooblaster
Posted: Friday, August 17, 2012 5:20:47 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 1/22/2011
Posts: 19
Magical_felix wrote:
Fuck me I should have looked at the damn date this was posted. what a waste of time.
Me too!! Thanksdontknow

sailor32920
Posted: Friday, August 17, 2012 6:35:04 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 3/12/2012
Posts: 14
He's probably about your age, guys are years behind and in 10 years he'll love what you did.
CenterLine
Posted: Friday, August 17, 2012 6:45:41 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 7/19/2012
Posts: 541
Location: Cuddling with friends,, United States
I'm not really sure what his deal is. You obviously put a ton of effort into writing and formatting the poem. Even if he didn't get it or understand the subtlety, his reaction doesn't seem cool. Wish I knew more. I'd have real advice, then. As it is, I guess I'll just extend my empathy and offer you a digital hug.
stelmaria
Posted: Friday, August 17, 2012 7:07:59 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/8/2012
Posts: 318
Location: New Zealand
That sucks so bad. Bastard. LOL.

Let him know how much he hurt you, make sure you get an apology from him so the both of you can fix things up!

ramrod32784
Posted: Friday, August 17, 2012 7:40:39 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 7/29/2012
Posts: 558
Location: Fl, United States
The least he could have been was supportive
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