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no sex! im going bonkers Options · View
Guest
Posted: Thursday, April 12, 2012 8:25:28 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 473,709
So my girl and me havnt had sex in 6+ months now and we have only dated for a year. It was great at first and one day it all stoped. We were having sex 3 or 4 times a day. The problem I'm having is that there is a good reason why but I still feel like it eating at me and friends think its not right. My girl has a nerve problem that she was on med patchs for and they were stong drugs and her pain was coming back so instead of uping the dose she stoped using them and is dealing with the pain. Its not all the time but it comes in waves like it will be fine for 3 or 4 days and then her legs will hurt to the point of crying. I don't want her to give me oral or have sex with me if it hurts.

any ones 2 cents on this matter would be nice.

But lucky for me I have lush to take care of my dirty mind evil4
caramelvixxen
Posted: Friday, April 13, 2012 10:47:21 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 2/8/2012
Posts: 97
Location: MA, United States
oh wow...what a tough situation! to be honest, i can't offer any advice as i can't imagine having to handle such a situation but I just wanted to respond to show you love and send you a hug!



***Click here to read my latest true story about nocturnal urges***

Guest
Posted: Friday, April 13, 2012 12:30:42 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 473,709
Thanks its been hard and she was so good at it toocrybaby but I'm hoping we can get her to a doctor and get this taken care of and maybe her sex drive back too. But for know I am the cuddle master laughing6.

Guest
Posted: Saturday, April 14, 2012 7:44:58 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 473,709
A close friend of mine is actually in the same position as your partner right now....she overdid her muscles in one of our (horse riding) training sessions at college and her muscles just packed in, she was taken to hospital to be put on morphine, muscle relaxants etc, diagnosed with some kind of nervous disorder...she's currently on medication so strong she struggles to simply stay awake, unfortunately the pain is still there for me - difficult to want to have sex I should imagine!

Difficult to advise really....if she isn't comfortable during sex or if she's scared that it's going to set her back re pain/muscles then you just can't push her. All you can do is talk to her about trying it, and about getting her down to the hospital/doctors to try and find a method of pain relief that works for her.

Good luck, sympathy to your partner.....I've found it really difficult to watch/hear about my friend go through this...not nice.
redlips
Posted: Saturday, April 14, 2012 7:30:25 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 5/21/2011
Posts: 143
I'm not sure that I can reply to this correctly, but here goes. To me this is more about love then about sex. Some people during their life are put in a position where they have to be caregivers, putting aside their own desires and needs to take care of their loved one. They don't want to be in that position but life has put them there and it is a terrible hard place to be in and quite frankly some people just can't do it. My heart is heavy for you and her. Is your love for her strong enough that you can do it? That is a very hard question and I in no way mean it to be rude or unsympathetic in any way, but it is the question you must answer for yourself. I met a man just recently who is a caregiver for his very sick wife. He told me they hadn't had sex for over 10 years. I patted his hand and said that must be very difficult. He smiled at me and said "Dear, you have no idea how good it was before she got sick." And you have that also. You said yourself it was great before. Perhaps it will be great again. Perhaps not. My eyes are full of tears for you both. Please know that my heart and many others here will be pulling for you. Let us help if we can.

If you ignore beauty, you will soon find yourself without it.................Frank Lloyd Wright

I always practice obedience, when it's in my best interest.
WellMadeMale
Posted: Saturday, April 14, 2012 8:02:55 PM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,210
Location: Cakeland, United States
pinestate wrote:
Thanks its been hard and she was so good at it toocrybaby but I'm hoping we can get her to a doctor and get this taken care of and maybe her sex drive back too. But for know I am the cuddle master laughing6.



Good on you, mate.

If ya can't beat 'em... pay someone to do it for you.
Notenough
Posted: Saturday, April 14, 2012 8:39:39 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/16/2010
Posts: 122
Location: In the woods near my cabin, United States
I have been where your girl friend is. Hit by a drunk driver. It's a tough situation for you both. I know i wanted to climb the walls. My husband and I would do body massages and touching instead of oral and reg sex. You have to have honest and open communication and understand each others needs. Paint a minds picture for each other. The mind is a very powerful tool. To be honest, those are the days I remember and miss the most. Had some great orgasms and so did my husband. I wish you both the best.
Guest
Posted: Saturday, April 14, 2012 9:24:15 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 473,709
i love the crap out of her and will wait as long as it lakes.
curvygalore
Posted: Sunday, April 15, 2012 9:21:33 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/22/2010
Posts: 176
Pinestate you are a good guy! Obviously sex is very important, so its good to have your worries and frustrations out in the open! The fact that sudden life change and chronic pain seems to be far from uncommon means you are not alone. I do hope the lovely lady in your life gets the medical help she needs to lessen the pain big time. I also have a chronic pain problem, and although its not always easy, a happy sex life can be achieved. In the meanwhile, keep up that cuddling! Wishing you both all the best!
JesseS
Posted: Sunday, April 15, 2012 3:54:01 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/1/2010
Posts: 117
Location: United States
Get her to a good acupunturist, ASAP. Acupuncture has been in use for over 4,000 years. It eliminates pain faster, cheaper, more permanently and, unlike medication, with NO side effects! The acupuncture points for pain control are virtually discomfort free, so don't let her avoid it based on fear.
Guest
Posted: Sunday, April 15, 2012 6:16:54 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 473,709
She has something called neuropathy. Its in the nerv cluster and acupuncture wouldn't woke. Thanks every one.
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, April 18, 2012 11:52:31 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 473,709
You need to get the h@ll off the computer, and work on your relationship. Both of you see a counselor, if you honestly love her.

There are alternatives, if for some reason she cannot physically have sex.

A sexless marriage, isn't going to last forever.

Guest
Posted: Thursday, April 19, 2012 12:39:28 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 473,709
Every thing is great between us. Its just the pain is keeping us from having sex. We are trying to find some meds that she can use (she was on patchs) that arnt stong or harsh so if children ever do happen it won't be it there systems. We have only been togther for a year so marriage isn't a problem right now. But I know what your saying and thanks. I was in a sexless marriage that ended about 2 years ago.
naughty-ltl-grl
Posted: Sunday, April 22, 2012 7:43:05 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 12/21/2011
Posts: 14
Location: United States
thats so sweet that you care so much about her i wish there were more gurs out there like you
Guest
Posted: Monday, April 23, 2012 6:38:27 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 473,709
I try but it just way I do things
sunshinehigh
Posted: Wednesday, April 25, 2012 2:08:55 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/27/2012
Posts: 208
Location: United States
I think that you are doing everything perfectly.


I couldn't imagine having to go through that.

Seems to me like as long as you all are being open and honest and are keeping the other intimate parts of your life alive then you are doing great.


Good luck
Holty0101
Posted: Tuesday, May 01, 2012 1:58:04 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 3/4/2012
Posts: 44
Location: Bolton, United Kingdom
The only thing I could think about to get a bit of a release is a flesh light, google it if you dont know what it is
blazestcyr
Posted: Monday, May 14, 2012 8:41:15 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/19/2011
Posts: 737
Location: where bugs die
i thought the whole idea of a bf/gf is sex????
blazestcyr
Posted: Monday, May 14, 2012 8:42:08 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/19/2011
Posts: 737
Location: where bugs die
oops so sory missed the hurt ..post..forgive me
Guest
Posted: Monday, May 14, 2012 5:52:18 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 473,709
laughing6 its all good
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