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Rank: Active Ink Slinger
Joined: 1/13/2011 Posts: 36 Location: close to bangor, United States
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So my girl and me havnt had sex in 6+ months now and we have only dated for a year. It was great at first and one day it all stoped. We were having sex 3 or 4 times a day. The problem I'm having is that there is a good reason why but I still feel like it eating at me and friends think its not right. My girl has a nerve problem that she was on med patchs for and they were stong drugs and her pain was coming back so instead of uping the dose she stoped using them and is dealing with the pain. Its not all the time but it comes in waves like it will be fine for 3 or 4 days and then her legs will hurt to the point of crying. I don't want her to give me oral or have sex with me if it hurts. any ones 2 cents on this matter would be nice. But lucky for me I have lush to take care of my dirty mind
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Rank: Advanced Wordsmith
Joined: 2/7/2012 Posts: 97 Location: MA, United States
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oh wow...what a tough situation! to be honest, i can't offer any advice as i can't imagine having to handle such a situation but I just wanted to respond to show you love and send you a hug!
***Click here to read my latest true story about nocturnal urges***
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Rank: Active Ink Slinger
Joined: 1/13/2011 Posts: 36 Location: close to bangor, United States
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Thanks its been hard and she was so good at it too  but I'm hoping we can get her to a doctor and get this taken care of and maybe her sex drive back too. But for know I am the cuddle master  .
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Rank: Lurker
Joined: 11/30/2006 Posts: 326,956
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A close friend of mine is actually in the same position as your partner right now....she overdid her muscles in one of our (horse riding) training sessions at college and her muscles just packed in, she was taken to hospital to be put on morphine, muscle relaxants etc, diagnosed with some kind of nervous disorder...she's currently on medication so strong she struggles to simply stay awake, unfortunately the pain is still there for me - difficult to want to have sex I should imagine!
Difficult to advise really....if she isn't comfortable during sex or if she's scared that it's going to set her back re pain/muscles then you just can't push her. All you can do is talk to her about trying it, and about getting her down to the hospital/doctors to try and find a method of pain relief that works for her.
Good luck, sympathy to your partner.....I've found it really difficult to watch/hear about my friend go through this...not nice.
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 5/21/2011 Posts: 121
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I'm not sure that I can reply to this correctly, but here goes. To me this is more about love then about sex. Some people during their life are put in a position where they have to be caregivers, putting aside their own desires and needs to take care of their loved one. They don't want to be in that position but life has put them there and it is a terrible hard place to be in and quite frankly some people just can't do it. My heart is heavy for you and her. Is your love for her strong enough that you can do it? That is a very hard question and I in no way mean it to be rude or unsympathetic in any way, but it is the question you must answer for yourself. I met a man just recently who is a caregiver for his very sick wife. He told me they hadn't had sex for over 10 years. I patted his hand and said that must be very difficult. He smiled at me and said "Dear, you have no idea how good it was before she got sick." And you have that also. You said yourself it was great before. Perhaps it will be great again. Perhaps not. My eyes are full of tears for you both. Please know that my heart and many others here will be pulling for you. Let us help if we can.
If you ignore beauty, you will soon find yourself without it.................Frank Lloyd Wright
I always practice obedience, when it's in my best interest.
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Rank: Constant Gardener
Joined: 9/30/2009 Posts: 9,488 Location: Cakeland, United States
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pinestate wrote:Thanks its been hard and she was so good at it too  but I'm hoping we can get her to a doctor and get this taken care of and maybe her sex drive back too. But for know I am the cuddle master  . Good on you, mate.
The best thing you can do for your fellow, next to rousing his conscience, is - not to give him things to think about, but to wake things up that are in him... to make him think things for himself - George MacDonald
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 9/16/2010 Posts: 122 Location: In the woods near my cabin, United States
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I have been where your girl friend is. Hit by a drunk driver. It's a tough situation for you both. I know i wanted to climb the walls. My husband and I would do body massages and touching instead of oral and reg sex. You have to have honest and open communication and understand each others needs. Paint a minds picture for each other. The mind is a very powerful tool. To be honest, those are the days I remember and miss the most. Had some great orgasms and so did my husband. I wish you both the best.
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Rank: Active Ink Slinger
Joined: 1/13/2011 Posts: 36 Location: close to bangor, United States
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i love the crap out of her and will wait as long as it lakes.
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 11/22/2010 Posts: 103
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Pinestate you are a good guy! Obviously sex is very important, so its good to have your worries and frustrations out in the open! The fact that sudden life change and chronic pain seems to be far from uncommon means you are not alone. I do hope the lovely lady in your life gets the medical help she needs to lessen the pain big time. I also have a chronic pain problem, and although its not always easy, a happy sex life can be achieved. In the meanwhile, keep up that cuddling! Wishing you both all the best!
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 1/1/2010 Posts: 115 Location: United States
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Get her to a good acupunturist, ASAP. Acupuncture has been in use for over 4,000 years. It eliminates pain faster, cheaper, more permanently and, unlike medication, with NO side effects! The acupuncture points for pain control are virtually discomfort free, so don't let her avoid it based on fear.
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Rank: Active Ink Slinger
Joined: 1/13/2011 Posts: 36 Location: close to bangor, United States
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She has something called neuropathy. Its in the nerv cluster and acupuncture wouldn't woke. Thanks every one.
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 2/10/2011 Posts: 587 Location: The Great White North
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You need to get the h@ll off the computer, and work on your relationship. Both of you see a counselor, if you honestly love her. There are alternatives, if for some reason she cannot physically have sex. A sexless marriage, isn't going to last forever.
For my more edgy, stories and achives check out my secret directory; Secret Directory and Story Archives
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Rank: Active Ink Slinger
Joined: 1/13/2011 Posts: 36 Location: close to bangor, United States
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Every thing is great between us. Its just the pain is keeping us from having sex. We are trying to find some meds that she can use (she was on patchs) that arnt stong or harsh so if children ever do happen it won't be it there systems. We have only been togther for a year so marriage isn't a problem right now. But I know what your saying and thanks. I was in a sexless marriage that ended about 2 years ago.
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Rank: Active Ink Slinger
Joined: 12/21/2011 Posts: 12 Location: United States
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thats so sweet that you care so much about her i wish there were more gurs out there like you
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Rank: Active Ink Slinger
Joined: 1/13/2011 Posts: 36 Location: close to bangor, United States
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I try but it just way I do things
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 3/27/2012 Posts: 208 Location: United States
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I think that you are doing everything perfectly.
I couldn't imagine having to go through that.
Seems to me like as long as you all are being open and honest and are keeping the other intimate parts of your life alive then you are doing great.
Good luck
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Rank: Active Ink Slinger
Joined: 3/4/2012 Posts: 44 Location: Bolton, United Kingdom
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The only thing I could think about to get a bit of a release is a flesh light, google it if you dont know what it is
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  Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 10/19/2011 Posts: 737 Location: where bugs die
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i thought the whole idea of a bf/gf is sex????
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  Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 10/19/2011 Posts: 737 Location: where bugs die
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oops so sory missed the hurt ..post..forgive me
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Rank: Active Ink Slinger
Joined: 1/13/2011 Posts: 36 Location: close to bangor, United States
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 its all good
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