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Rank: Moderator
Joined: 3/3/2009
Posts: 4,282
Location: Victoria, Australia
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DBarclay wrote:He had a quick shag with some old slapper who made it available ...
FFS 80% of men would do the same ....it meant nothing ..just unloading...
it happens ..he did not kill anybody...just did want his body instincts told hiim to do
All men have done it or thought about it ... Eight out of ten men would cheat if given the opportunity? I hope not!
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Rank: Mr Nobody
Joined: 2/28/2008
Posts: 946
Location: Florida, United States
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Lisa wrote:
Eight out of ten men would cheat if given the opportunity? I hope not!
of course they would ....
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 7/17/2008
Posts: 1,177
Location: AZ
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… five of those 8 live with me 
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Rank: Internet Sensation
Joined: 3/30/2009
Posts: 3,976
Location: Cloudy dreams., Sweden
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DBarclay wrote:Lisa wrote:
Eight out of ten men would cheat if given the opportunity? I hope not!
of course they would .... Thiink I read somewhere that women cheat more often than men, though I might be wrong. Just sounds fair that they think about it more often then us women do.
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Rank: Moderator
Joined: 3/3/2009
Posts: 4,282
Location: Victoria, Australia
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When I think of all the men I know and wonder which ones would cheat on their partners if the opportunity came about, I'd only put money on one of them doing it. The rest would most likely think about it, but I just couldn't see them going through with it. I know I'm probably being naive, but I like it here in my world! 
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Rank: Active Ink Slinger
Joined: 6/14/2009
Posts: 4
Location: Boston, United States
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Hmmm quite a topic to follow...
I think a lot has to do with how hurt you are... and that would mean a lot to whether you can move on from it or not..
If you are really hurt and that hurt will stick around.. You might as well cut him loose.. No use keeping traumatic reminders around..
If you truly can let go.. Then it stands another chance
.. I was once the fastest and most victorious little sperm out of millions...
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Rank: Active Ink Slinger
Joined: 3/29/2009
Posts: 11
Location: Texas
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Can there really only be "that one time"? The vast majority of men and women who have cheated will do it again. The line is much easier to cross once you have done it.
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Rank: Mr Nobody
Joined: 2/28/2008
Posts: 946
Location: Florida, United States
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perhaps this explains it better
MEN’S ENGLISH
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let’s have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. What’s wrong? = I guess sex is out of the question
8. May I have this dance? = I’d like to have sex with you
9. Can I call you sometime? = I’d like to have sex with you
10. Do you want to go to a movie? = I’d like to have sex with you
11. Can I take you out to dinner? = I’d like to have sex with you
12. Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for other men to have sex with you
13. You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with you within the next 3 mins.
14. Let’s talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and then I’d like to have sex with you.
15. I don’t think those shoes go with that outfit = I’m gay
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Rank: Mr Nobody
Joined: 2/28/2008
Posts: 946
Location: Florida, United States
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Catnip wrote:
Thiink I read somewhere that women cheat more often than men, though I might be wrong.
Just sounds fair that they think about it more often then us women do.
Women over analyze making it more difficult for them... but there are many exceptions That want to think sex is a great emotion... rather than just a physical act
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Rank: Matriarch
Joined: 12/6/2006
Posts: 22,399
Location: Sydney, Australia
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DBarclay wrote:Women over analyze making it more difficult for them... but there are many exceptions
That want to think sex is a great emotion... rather than just a physical act
Oh you brute!
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Rank: Lurker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Posts: 327,066
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DBarclay wrote:perhaps this explains it better
MEN’S ENGLISH
7. What’s wrong? = I guess sex is out of the question
8. May I have this dance? = I’d like to have sex with you
9. Can I call you sometime? = I’d like to have sex with you
10. Do you want to go to a movie? = I’d like to have sex with you
11. Can I take you out to dinner? = I’d like to have sex with you
12. Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for other men to have sex with you
13. You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with you within the next 3 mins.
14. Let’s talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and then I’d like to have sex with you.
15. I don’t think those shoes go with that outfit = I’m gay
Still laughing....Nice!
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 3/19/2009
Posts: 267
Location: Roanoke, United States
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Rank: Rookie Scribe
Joined: 11/17/2008
Posts: 3
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There's that old saying, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." I'm told we're all human and have moments of weakness. Sometimes we make bad choices. I can relinquish myself to that fact. Unforuntately, I also believe we have to suffer the consequences of our bad choices, regardless.
The question is whether a cheater will continue to cheat. It's hard to say, as everyone has their own idiosyncracies. Maybe they will, maybe they won't. What I think is more important than that is whether you can find it in yourself to trust them again. Forgiveness shouldn't come with strings attached, and misgivings about their future fidelity will be trying over the course of the relationship. I know I've never forgiven infidelity, but that's my short coming more than hers.
So, if you are better than I am, and can take a chance and feel secure in the relationship again, I'd say salvage what you can.
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Rank: Lurker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Posts: 327,066
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Thanks Rorschach :)
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 4/24/2009
Posts: 573
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Dealing with cheating is quite simple. Make your threat grisly enough and he'll never even think of it.  Hubby knows that a fate worse than death awaits him should he stray, and he rarely even look at the other women these days. Something about the rusty butcher's knife and a really, really slow vengeance..... I suspect that being preggers is going to send me round the bend on this issue as I start gaining weight, though. "You want her because I'm fat and ugly! Waaaahhhhaaaaha!!"
"A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere." - Groucho Marx
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Rank: Lurker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Posts: 327,066
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ellastar wrote:And Durrasch, your wife is still happy with you, even though she knows you cheat? Your 20 years old, your beautiful, intelligent, you have dated him since you were 16, and have a great sexy body. Your whole life is ahead of you, relax and have some fun. He's treating you better than ever because he has a motive, that's to get you back. It's just an act. As in anything in life that seems like a bad experience but turns out to be the greatest thing that could have happened to you. Your free, Wow that must feel great. Lot's of great new people out there to experience. And that niggle you feel in your body is your intuition telling you it's time to breakout and move on. That's scary, change always is but very exciting. But that makes life fun. I have confidence that you'll figure it out. S............ 
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Rank: Rookie Scribe
Joined: 5/4/2011
Posts: 6
Location: Augusta
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here is my personal opion on the whole thing idk if once a cheater always a cheater but my theory on cheating is everyone that does cheat has cheated for a reason and what i mean by that is they are getting something from the other person that they can't get from there spouse sooo i tell my gfs if your missing something in our realtionship that someone else can give you give me a chance to give it to you if i can't lets go our seperate ways...so to sum up my rant sit down talk to and ask why he cheated and if he can't give an answer then he aint worth your time but if he gives you a reason try to work on it cuz four years is a long time to just toss a side
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Rank: Lurker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Posts: 327,066
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Tough. I agree with myles69 that he has to earn it. Honestly it's hard to imagine he would change, but let's give him a chance. One thing that will help: you being absolutely, 100% clear: "If you screw around, it's over."
And say it plenty of times, in different ways.
Tell him it doesn't matter if you have a house, kids, whatever. Let him know how you feel and how hurt you felt and how you cannot degrade yourself like that again. Use powerful words that express how cheapened you felt, and let him know there is absolutely no going back.
One thing is sure - he WILL be tempted. Using powerful words will help him at that moment of temptation. They will echo in his mind. If you say to him "Are you really going to throw away everything we have, really going to debase yourself, for a single orgasm?" he will hear your words, your voice, at the moment of temptation. With luck, he'll remember what you said and hold back.
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Rank: Constant Gardener
Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 9,516
Location: Cakeland, United States
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Lisa wrote:Whether he cheats again or not, he'll always be a cheater to you. The fact that he didn't choose to tell you himself at the time it happened makes all the difference. You could have dealt with it then, but you had to find out from someone else a year later. That would probably hurt me more than the actual cheating.
If you take him back, it'd be wise to work out the terms of the relationship beforehand and make it very clear how you feel about lies.
Good luck with it all, Ella. This is the correct motorcycle. While in supposedly monogamous relationships...I've cheated on several women over the last 34 years. I've known several women who cheated on me. There have been a very small handful of girls/women who I never did step out on. And I suspect a similar number of girls/women who did not go behind my back either. Once a cheater - always a cheater only really applies to the person who has cheated on you, it does not mean that that man or woman is always going to cheat on every partner they may know. At least not in my experience. As I found myself entering my forties, I felt it much more necessary to spell things out after a few weeks of seeing someone. It is not really the conversation to have on dates number one, two or three. I don't think.
 The best thing you can do for your fellow,
next to rousing his conscience, is - not to give him things
to think about, but to wake things up that are in him...
to make him think things for himself - George MacDonald
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Rank: Rookie Scribe
Joined: 4/3/2012
Posts: 1
Location: United States
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I love to have sex to something fast and hard so anything by Godsmack will work, and if has to be tender and soft then Broken by Seether.
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Rank: Advanced Wordsmith
Joined: 3/31/2013
Posts: 81
Location: United Kingdom
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I'd say yes. Once a cheater always a cheater - eventually.
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