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Do all Dominants want multiple submissives? Options · View
Callisto
Posted: Monday, April 16, 2012 6:19:05 PM

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This was mentioned in another thread, stating Dominants can have as many subs as they please. I was curious to see if all Dominants felt this way or if some prefer to just have one submissive.

Also, I've seen submissives on here having two Dominants (they stated it was also in RL), how does that work?

Guest
Posted: Monday, April 16, 2012 6:37:43 PM

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Like wives, mistresses, lovers, etc. I suspect it varies from person to person. Admittedly, most people can't effectively manage a relationship with ONE other person; on the other hand, like friends, we may have different relationships with multiple people for many reasons. The first might enjoy both opera and folk music, but one other friend can't stand folk while loving opera, so there it is. If tyou can manage without jealousy to have multiple partners or subs, more power to you.
Fugly
Posted: Monday, April 16, 2012 6:43:15 PM

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Very good question, and will be very interested in the replies.

Real life, I only have and want one. The internet, well sky is the limit, and two or more is totally acceptable as I can explore my varying inner darkest desires with no limitations with each and every one.

As for the subs, I would have a rule that they only have one Master/Mistress. I haven't met or spoken to many Dom's on here and other sites that are willing to share, so yes, how does that work?
Callisto
Posted: Monday, April 16, 2012 6:59:31 PM

Rank: Rocker of the cocker

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As far as a submissive having two Dominants, when I chatted with the submissive she said one Master was the superior one and allowed her to have another Master. Overall, he controlled when she could spend time with her other Master. He also had to follow the rules set by her main Master. So would that make him a submissive as well? Hmm or maybe they would just have an agreement. I guess if you have no control of your sub, why be their Master? Just thinking out loud lol

Guest
Posted: Monday, April 16, 2012 7:10:16 PM

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i have had two - Dom/Domme. it was sumtimes confusing but always exciting
jgg123
Posted: Monday, April 16, 2012 7:12:12 PM

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It's something my sub and I have discussed. But a decision like that would be made by both of us one way or the other, i would not feel right trying to subject her to something that may be a limit.

Personally one is enough, but you never know for sure *shrugs*

as far as the two masters thing, it sounds more like the "superior" Dom is loaning out this person to another . It sounds almost like me letting my friends borrow a possession of mine on my terms. They can use it, just make sure they put it back when they are done and that they respect my wishes.

he is allowing another to use something that ultimately belongs to him.

purely speculation of course but that's how it made since in my mind when you explained it.

I've also heard of couples sharing a sub before.where the sub is to serve both of them (however that is mostly in fiction stories, only talked to maybe 2 people who claimed this style was for them though)
Fugly
Posted: Monday, April 16, 2012 7:15:26 PM

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Callisto wrote:
Overall, he controlled when she could spend time with her other Master. He also had to follow the rules set by her main Master. So would that make him a submissive as well?


I wouldn't call this person a Master at all! Sounds as though he is a submissive, but has been awarded with his own little pet and been given limited authoritative to deal out punishments/sex - still wouldn't be classed as a Master though, just being rewarded.

Callisto wrote:
I guess if you have no control of your sub, why be their Master? Just thinking out loud lol


My thoughts exactly! Nutbag
MistressS
Posted: Friday, April 20, 2012 8:19:18 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 5/31/2011
Posts: 65
I think, like WmCutterBlack said, it will vary from person to person.

Personally I have no desire to have more than one sub. But I have heard of some Dom/mes who have several subs, which I have to assume all their subs are ok with, and some subs who have several Dom/mes.

I believe, however, this is more common if the sub is wanting someone to have a scene with, rather than being collared to that Dom/me.
Guest
Posted: Monday, May 21, 2012 6:19:08 PM

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I never have had more than 2 at once.

It just never really interested me to have my own little harem. I like to get to know my subs on a very personal level and the more you have the harder it gets.
jerseylynn
Posted: Wednesday, May 23, 2012 5:48:10 PM

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I've known several that have had more then one. It's a polly couple and they share.

It's a family you have one that is in charge then the submissive is under the control of both but the Lead Dominate can overrule and change how the submissive is to be. The submissive may be on loan to the other Dominate and they may follow those rules and report back to the Lead Dominate One.

Polly couples it seems from the ones I've chatted to be pretty common.

No one can make you jealous, angry, vengeful, or greedy -unless you let him.
- Napoleon Hill
Sensei
Posted: Thursday, May 24, 2012 1:05:47 PM

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For myself, I think managing multiple slaves would just be too much work. But that's just my own personal perspective.

My novel, The Society, is available now in the Kindle Store: http://www.amazon.com/The-Society-ebook/dp/B00BPF9U2I
Guest
Posted: Thursday, May 24, 2012 2:06:16 PM

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Guess that differs from dom to dom...
CuriousKitty
Posted: Thursday, May 24, 2012 10:57:50 PM

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Not at all ^.^ having one perfect kitty is better (in my humble opinion) than having a lot of submissives because you don't have to divide your attention among them all which doesn't seem right to me, I don't know why. *shrugs*
sprite
Posted: Friday, May 25, 2012 2:34:19 AM

Rank: Her Royal Spriteness

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Location: My Tower, United States
CuriousKitty wrote:
Not at all ^.^ having one perfect kitty is better (in my humble opinion) than having a lot of submissives because you don't have to divide your attention among them all which doesn't seem right to me, I don't know why. *shrugs*


just as i couldn't imagine having multiple Dommes -having a Mistress and a wife is hard enough as it is! good thing they like each other and get along. :)

http://www.lushstories.com/stories/hardcore/west-coast-games-part-one-the-beach.aspx
Red_Dragon
Posted: Saturday, May 26, 2012 5:52:53 PM

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Well I am a Maestro with one sub who is a Mistress with two subs we are a Family. Those who know, know that I have tested my sub before she was a sub and gave her the title Mistress because she passed. She is a great Mistress that understands fully her responsibilities to her subs and fulfills them and like Jersey said We are a family and the lil ones know they can always come to me. I take my responsibilities seriously because i have trained hundreds of Masters and Mistresses, I have also rejected many and stripped others of the title when they did not appreciate the Honor they were giving by a sub that placed all their trust in these peoples hands and They failed them

Red_Dragon
Posted: Saturday, May 26, 2012 5:55:01 PM

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[quote=Latexìa]

I agree with you completely this second person is a sub to the Master who has giving his sub some responsibilities

Guest
Posted: Thursday, August 02, 2012 11:22:22 AM

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I myself now that I'm older I enjoy concentrating on 1 .it's easier to build thr relationship and trust especaily in a long distance relationship.that is why I prefer just 1.if another were to be added it would be well aftr trust was established ,she would have a say because she would always be the 1st she would never have tofear of being replaced by the other if there was one brought in to the fold.
MoonlightSerenity
Posted: Thursday, August 02, 2012 11:59:53 AM

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I refuse to have more than one Dom/me or to be shared by Master with anyone else. Do people agree with me when I say that for some they refuse others because they actually love the Dom/me or sub that they have and so do not want to share their love with anyone else?

Teased and Tormented -My very first story and competition entry is now up!
Ravyn
Posted: Thursday, August 02, 2012 12:43:52 PM

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MoonlightSerenity wrote:
I refuse to have more than one Dom/me or to be shared by Master with anyone else. Do people agree with me when I say that for some they refuse others because they actually love the Dom/me or sub that they have and so do not want to share their love with anyone else?


I agree 100% with you on that. I am not interested in being a part of a "stable" or whatever else you want to call it. My Master knows my desires and that I don't wish to be shared by anyone nor do I wish to share him with anyone. It goes way beyond "playing" and watching him move onto the next woman of the hour like so many seem to do on here. A real relationship is about trust, loyalty and respect. As his submissive he respects me enough and shares the same feelings I do that we don't have to or want to look elsewhere for what need.

Guest
Posted: Thursday, August 02, 2012 3:01:24 PM

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I think that everyone here has good points and none are wrong regarding what works for them. I've seen the 'monogamous partner' versus 'multiple partner' scenario in every lifestyle known to mankind. It's all about what is comfortable with all parties involved, what is negotiated, and the hard limits to be respected. There is no "right" or "wrong" as long as everyone involved is on-board with the plan.

So, not all Dominants want multiple subs, not all Dominants share their subs. Some do both. It's all good!
AllyHorizon
Posted: Monday, August 20, 2012 1:11:52 AM

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I prefer just one but maybe as I grow older that will change.
BLKDragon
Posted: Monday, August 20, 2012 11:16:06 AM

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Location: pittsburgh, United States
one ,any more becomes a real hassle.weather the subs say it or not there is jealousy and no one needs the hassle or the headache of the jealousy and cattyness ,even if you say this sub is #1 ,the others take it to mean she can be toppled just a huge pain .hey to each his though .really dends on the dom.
sprite
Posted: Monday, August 20, 2012 11:50:07 PM

Rank: Her Royal Spriteness

Joined: 6/18/2010
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Location: My Tower, United States
for me, one Mistress, one sub. i am not judging anyone, but i never understood how a Dom/me could have a "herd of subs" - i guess i just need too much personal attention to thrive in a situation like that. and being a Dom/me is hard work, doing that for more than one sub just seems like too much.


http://www.lushstories.com/stories/hardcore/west-coast-games-part-one-the-beach.aspx
Guest
Posted: Monday, November 12, 2012 2:54:09 AM

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Like it has been said, each Master is different - some like and want multiple submissives (like a male lion wants a large pride) and some are a one-sub-Master.

Personally, one real life sub is about all I can handle!
PhareDuFour
Posted: Wednesday, November 21, 2012 12:36:49 PM

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I few months back I refused to be collared by a gentleman because he professed his wishes for no emotional intimacy, and that I would be expected to be an active participant in his casual parties sexually serving his friends in his motorcycle gang. I simply laughed and asked him if he knew the difference between a submissive and swinger club. He seemed to think that having an entire harem of submissives for his quartlerly gang bangs was a normal D/s Lifestyle, and asked me if I was really submissive, or what was wrong with me.

I don't think there's anything wrong with me, simply because I want to be treated with more respect than that. I don't care for party activities.

Si vos postulo me, sed non vis me, oportet me manere.
Sed si vis me, sed non vos postulo me, oportet me abire.
Budlee
Posted: Wednesday, December 05, 2012 10:45:03 AM

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There was a time I had multiple submissives. It was fun for a time but quickly became overwhelming and the fun aspect of it began decreasing rapidly. In time, I simply stopped looking for subs and had stopped doing any training so I could move forward with my own life. Now I just have lee and she is all I could want. I am not looking for any other subs other than for us to play with when so desired. I find it to be a great balance and so far it's working out great.
Boombabong
Posted: Tuesday, March 26, 2013 4:12:40 PM

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It's more about quality time than quantity... but that my vision!
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, March 26, 2013 4:21:55 PM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,826
BlackMentalDom wrote:
I think that everyone here has good points and none are wrong regarding what works for them. I've seen the 'monogamous partner' versus 'multiple partner' scenario in every lifestyle known to mankind. It's all about what is comfortable with all parties involved, what is negotiated, and the hard limits to be respected. There is no "right" or "wrong" as long as everyone involved is on-board with the plan.

So, not all Dominants want multiple subs, not all Dominants share their subs. Some do both. It's all good!

Exactly. toast
SeaSiren
Posted: Thursday, March 28, 2013 8:11:51 AM

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jerseylynn
Posted: Wednesday, April 03, 2013 5:16:10 PM

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One important thing to remember if one does move into a Polly relationship that there is NO room for jealousy. To agree to a Polly relationship means sharing and if you have reservations then decide what is more important to you. Always be true to yourself no matter what. If you enter it cause your Dom/me wants and demands it and your not comfortable with it then that is a recipe for disaster. I've seen so many subs get the lil green eyed monster on their shoulders and then holly hades the drama start.

Polly relationships aren't for everybody but know who you are and what you want. If you are a one on one person then make sure your wishes are heard and understood that may in the long run save your relationship and lots of days and nights being hurt.



No one can make you jealous, angry, vengeful, or greedy -unless you let him.
- Napoleon Hill
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