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Poll Question : What's your #1 insecurity when with a new partner?
Choice Votes Statistics
That your dick is too small 3 4 %
General body imperfections being noticed 8 11 %
Disappointment in your sexual skills/abilities 7 10 %
What happens after sex (expectations/rejection) 2 2 %
Doing something (sexually) that will freak her out 17 25 %
Whether or not you will both achieve orgasm 7 10 %
How you compare/measure up to previous partners 13 19 %
Other 7 10 %
I have no sexual insecurities whatsoever! 4 5 %

Sexual Insecurities - For Men Options · View
Dancing_Doll
Posted: Tuesday, May 08, 2012 7:18:49 PM

Rank: Alpha Blonde

Joined: 2/17/2010
Posts: 6,268
Location: West Coast
I posted the same poll in the 'ask the gals' section, so this one is strictly for the boys to answer, discuss, elaborate on.

If I haven't covered something, as in "other", please post.

Also - if you have an interesting story related to sexual insecurities (either related to yourself or to the women you've been with) or if certain things that bothered you when you were younger are different than what bothers you now, please share.



** For comparison, here is the women's poll on the same topic:
http://www.lushstories.com/forum/yaf_postst23237_Sexual-Insecurities--For-Women.aspx


Michael
Posted: Tuesday, May 08, 2012 7:26:41 PM

Rank: Author

Joined: 10/22/2011
Posts: 2,005
Location: Expat in, Russia
None of us are perfect, and I am much more tolerant of my lovers imperfections then my own.
I am forced to be reminded of my own imperfections daily and even though I realize none of us is perfect, my infatuation of her blurs her imperfections.
I now realize that my lover has the same insecurities... so we should just relish the moment for the special thing it is.


ArtMan
Posted: Tuesday, May 08, 2012 7:34:04 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/29/2011
Posts: 640
Location: South Florida, United States
I do not have any "interesting" stories to share about sexual insecurities. Not that there are not stories, I just don't want to share. But I did vote.

I think nearly all have some sexual insecurities. Do not dwell on them but allow yourself to enjoy and fulfill.

You are invited to read Passionate Danger, Part II, a story collaboration by Kim and ArtMan.
http://www.lushstories.com/stories/straight-sex/passionate-danger-part-ii.aspx

Guest
Posted: Tuesday, May 08, 2012 7:55:22 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,661
I have no sexual insecurities whatsoever!
Michael
Posted: Tuesday, May 08, 2012 8:02:57 PM

Rank: Author

Joined: 10/22/2011
Posts: 2,005
Location: Expat in, Russia
NatureBoy wrote:
I have no sexual insecurities whatsoever!



Yeah, Okay... I hear ya'






hehe


Blokey04
Posted: Tuesday, May 08, 2012 8:52:07 PM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 4/20/2011
Posts: 9
Location: Australia
All of the above. Even with the so called right equipment doesn't mean you are going to achieve the right ending. Every one's needs are different. So trying to achieve the right ending doesn't always work.
TheCrimsonKing
Posted: Tuesday, May 08, 2012 9:24:16 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 5/1/2012
Posts: 66
Location: Kentucky, United States
I think that unless you really have no conscious, you are always going to be a little nervous with a new partner. I've had the same partner for a couple years now and I still get overwhelmed sometimes. It happens
WellMadeMale
Posted: Tuesday, May 08, 2012 11:13:34 PM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,288
Location: Cakeland, United States
Dancing_Doll wrote:
If I haven't covered something, as in "other", please post.



I can no longer shoot a rope of semen 36 inches when I ejaculate. Often times it is less than length of my gawdamned forearm.... a lousy 17-19 inches. Fuck that prostrate gland!! It is not a friend of mine, anymore!

I'm losing it, aren't I.

Can't paint Hawaii on your tummy, tits nor chin no more. Have to settle for Cuba instead. Grrrrrrr. Growing old sucks, except..I'm still breathing and popping boners!

Mostly in the mornings evil4

If ya can't beat 'em... pay someone to do it for you.
WellMadeMale
Posted: Tuesday, May 08, 2012 11:16:03 PM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,288
Location: Cakeland, United States
NatureBoy wrote:
I have no sexual insecurities whatsoever!


yeah, what the fuck ever. Let's talk in another 25 years. evil5

I hope (for your sake) you are one busy, pipe laying fucking guy. evil4

If ya can't beat 'em... pay someone to do it for you.
DirtyMartini
Posted: Tuesday, May 08, 2012 11:23:24 PM

Rank: Purveyor of Poetry & Porn

Joined: 10/19/2009
Posts: 5,789
Location: Right here on Lush Stories..., United States
I'm always afraid that I might scare a woman off when I first whip it out, because it's so fucking humongously huge she might be afraid I'll hurt her...

That's my only insecurity...if I think of anything else, maybe I'll stop back...Regaeman Man


You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories

Guest
Posted: Wednesday, May 09, 2012 12:53:34 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,661
I'll be honest...when I was in my teens I was insecure about my uncut cock, but that has never been an issue, and you get more comfortable with yourself as you get older. For a bit there in my early 20s, it was worrying about her orgasm too much, but I found that relaxing is key and not to be in my head; be in the moment. But now, it's more a concern than an insecurity, but "doing something sexually that will freak her out." She's pretty vanilla sexually and I want to bring up other things delicately and w/o pressure, but I'm nervous about it.
Resident
Posted: Wednesday, May 09, 2012 3:08:01 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/24/2011
Posts: 173
Location: United Kingdom
I guess the main one of concern is whether or not I look
as appealing naked as I did clothed. What an I say? I am
usually sharply dressed. evil4

I just want to please. Majority of my satisfaction is based
on her own satisfaction (and hopefully beyond general
'satisfaction'), so I guess it's whether or not her orgasm
was real, and whether or not her orgasm was intense.

Are you truly awake?
bassguitarbubba
Posted: Wednesday, May 09, 2012 3:40:54 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/30/2008
Posts: 405
Location: So. California, United States
My insecurity is misreading when she gives the green light. What really screwed me up was the girl who believed 'no' meant 'yes'. There were several times we got hot and heavy and just when I was ready to go for it, she said, "No" in her breathy voice. So being the gentleman that I am, I didn't proceed any further but we continued kissing and feeling each other up. It happened a second time and again, the same result. When we finally made love she told me I should have taken her the first time. I reminded her she said no but she said she really meant yes. So being a gentleman delayed me fucking her. Maybe I should be more aggressive, but I don't want to force myself on anyone either.
clum
Posted: Wednesday, May 09, 2012 5:13:54 AM

Rank: Clumeleon

Joined: 5/13/2011
Posts: 4,462
Location: Edinburgh, United Kingdom
bassguitarbubba wrote:
My insecurity is misreading when she gives the green light. What really screwed me up was the girl who believed 'no' meant 'yes'. There were several times we got hot and heavy and just when I was ready to go for it, she said, "No" in her breathy voice. So being the gentleman that I am, I didn't proceed any further but we continued kissing and feeling each other up. It happened a second time and again, the same result. When we finally made love she told me I should have taken her the first time. I reminded her she said no but she said she really meant yes. So being a gentleman delayed me fucking her. Maybe I should be more aggressive, but I don't want to force myself on anyone either.


I would say you made the absolute right call on that one.

As to the question:

I've only had two sexual partners. I had no insecurities with the first - it was a one-night stand, we were both pretty buzzed and we just went for it. She knew it was my first time so I had some leeway regarding skill and I knew she had been with a guy with a smaller dick than me (don't ask me how) so I felt fine about that. There was no expectation afterwards that we would see each other or do it again.

The second was my now girlfriend. I was nervous as hell about sleeping with her for the first time. I knew she was considerably more experienced than me and I was worried I would look like a fumbling idiot. I worried a little about penis size but not overly much. My main concern was what I looked like naked - I'm quite overweight and I have a pretty bad skin condition to boot.

Fortunately, it turned out that I'm a lot better than I thought I would be - reportedly the best sex she's had (I take that with a pinch of salt). That first night was amazing and I realised I had no reason to be apprehensive. She makes me feel really good about myself and I'm no longer so hung up on what I look like because she likes it.

Every day is a school day.
1curiouscat
Posted: Wednesday, May 09, 2012 6:55:27 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/25/2011
Posts: 1,144
Location: São Paulo , Brazil
I have come to the conclusion that my fantasies are way kinkier then my girl´s... This makes me really think about how and when I should introduce the idea of fulfilling one of my fantasies. I have to carefully balance the consequences of a no and her reaction...

Apart from this, I´m rather confortable in my own skin.



Overwhelming Reality

From Across the Room
Dudealicious
Posted: Wednesday, May 09, 2012 7:43:09 AM

Rank: Wise Ass

Joined: 11/12/2010
Posts: 5,413
Location: The center of the universe, Canada
1curiouscat wrote:
I have come to the conclusion that my fantasies are way kinkier then my girl´s... This makes me really think about how and when I should introduce the idea of fulfilling one of my fantasies. I have to carefully balance the consequences of a no and her reaction...

Apart from this, I´m rather confortable in my own skin.


+1, I realize that my kinks are a little different than my lovers at times, I have to introduce them in the proper way and gradually over time.

The night that changed my life, a four part series of a married man lusting after his co-worker

clum
Posted: Wednesday, May 09, 2012 8:00:43 AM

Rank: Clumeleon

Joined: 5/13/2011
Posts: 4,462
Location: Edinburgh, United Kingdom
It's very interesting to see how varied the responses here are compared to the poll in Ask the Gals.

Every day is a school day.
Pretzel
Posted: Wednesday, May 09, 2012 8:23:49 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/9/2012
Posts: 141
Location: United States
"other"

Sometimes I worry if the sex is becoming routine. Not boring to where we both don't achieve orgasm. I know we both enjoy it all of the time. But there are times when I worry that things can get a bit predictable.
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, May 09, 2012 8:26:38 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,661
Being err cough cough one of the more mature blokes on here I do not have any body hang ups. I suspect this will be the top of the girls list.
Myself would be the worry of freaking her out with something too kinky!
Coco
Posted: Wednesday, May 09, 2012 8:45:12 AM

Rank: Story Lover

Joined: 7/22/2011
Posts: 4,446
Location: Fantasy City, United States
clum wrote:
It's very interesting to see how varied the responses here are compared to the poll in Ask the Gals.



LIKE

1curiouscat
Posted: Wednesday, May 09, 2012 9:09:37 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/25/2011
Posts: 1,144
Location: São Paulo , Brazil
clum wrote:
It's very interesting to see how varied the responses here are compared to the poll in Ask the Gals.


+ 1 like



Overwhelming Reality

From Across the Room
elitfromnorth
Posted: Wednesday, May 09, 2012 2:23:16 PM

Rank: Brawling Berserker

Joined: 2/12/2012
Posts: 1,617
Location: Burrowed, Norway
For me it's the typical that I know it's probably not gonna be a problem, but I make a big deal out of it and worry about it in my head.

Should I in the future I know that odds are I won't get her to cum every time I stick my cock inside her, and I've sort of settled with that. But I'm still worried that I might not be able to give her an orgasm through intercourse. I know I can finger and lick her to an orgasm, but fuck her? I'm not sure about that and it's something I want to achieve.

Second thing is I hope to God she doesn't think "It was nice, but my ex was better" afterwards. I guess maybe that's why I'm a bit of a sexual doormat; I'm willing to try pretty much anything the girl wants as long as it involves the two of us and not another dude.

"It's at that point you realise Lady Luck is actually a hooker, and you're fresh out of cash."
WellMadeMale
Posted: Wednesday, May 09, 2012 3:40:31 PM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,288
Location: Cakeland, United States
I'm reminded of the divorcée who seduced me when I was 26 and she was 31. Three marriages and divorces for her between 19 and 30. Not that that's a bad thing, I certainly did not know that about her until we'd been seeing one another a few months and she revealed it. And I did not look down my nose at her for that.

By that point, I'd already had a pair of longer and shorter term monogamous relationships which had died on the vine too; marriage just wasn't involved with mine.

Her idea of dirty talk in the bedroom was what finally led me to set her on the curb and go hunting for greener pastures. My erection was too small for her and her method of telling me this was to reminisce about two or three former lovers of hers, all of whom were apparently packing ten plus inches of trouser snake. She'd tell me all about how Donnie or Jerry would stuff her and blow her brains out with multiple climaxes when she was just out of HS, over ten years earlier...all while I'd be thrusting.

Kind of made me chuckle internally. As I would think to myself... I can barely feel you, and that is a good part of why it takes me putting you into six different positions to get a little friction necessary to make myself cum, you heartless piece of ass! lol

She and I fucked for the better part of 8 months and I do not think she ever climaxed via penetration. After a few months of listening to her fond memories of being pummeled by Donnie, I didn't even want to eat her out, finger her or ... there at the end...be in her company - clothed. I started fucking around on her after 4 months seeking her replacement.

She's the only woman who has openly stated that I owned a teenie weenie incapable of satisfying her. I could see why too. It was like throwing a hotdog down a hallway. evil4

If ya can't beat 'em... pay someone to do it for you.
playsit
Posted: Wednesday, May 09, 2012 3:57:50 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/26/2011
Posts: 289
Location: Northeastern Untied Sates, United States
Part of the benefits of being in a committed long term relationship is most of these choices don't apply. Mrs P is very vanilla, so I'm always concerned about freaking her out by taking things too far.

More to the point of DD's question though, if I were with a new partner I would be concered that my dick was too small. All the ads dealing with how to grow a longer schlong combined with all the guy here at Lush being nine inches or greater I would have to wonder. Other than that, I'm generally secure with my appearance and bedroom skills/abilities.
playsit
Posted: Wednesday, May 09, 2012 4:01:41 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/26/2011
Posts: 289
Location: Northeastern Untied Sates, United States
WellMadeMale wrote:
It was like throwing a hotdog down a hallway. evil4


That's a GREAT analogy WMM... holy shit that's funny!
ThatNewYorkGuy
Posted: Wednesday, May 09, 2012 4:21:47 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 10/2/2011
Posts: 29
Location: NYC, United States
My thing is i tend to last a very long time. I'm beginning to think there's something wrong with me. There has been 3 or 4 times where i faked orgasm it to stop fucking, not because i wanted to but because i didnt want to hear her tell me we had to stop. of course in those situations time was a factor for example she wants to fuck before work or we both wake up for some late night fun, but its supposed to be late night not all night, or even quickies in a place where its not even safe to be fucking. It makes me feel good when i can make a girl cum multiple times but it REALLY bugs the hell outa me when i get some but cant get to the best part on my end.
muleskiner
Posted: Wednesday, May 09, 2012 4:23:15 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 4/28/2012
Posts: 52
Location: San Francisco Bay Area, United States
Will not like my kink.
Guest
Posted: Thursday, May 10, 2012 8:12:27 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,661
WMM made mention of an ex which triggered my memory of a lady I once dated. No! ...dated would mean we actually spent some time together.
I actually only bonked her on three occasions (she was my first) and she also possessed one of those cavernous vaginas, making me feel quite inadequate as I wasn't touching sides!
I am neither tiny nor hung like a horse but, my God ...!!
In fact, a mate of mine bonked her a few months after I had ...and he is hung like a cart horse.
His statement to me afterwards was; "Holy fuck, you could put three dicks in there and still have space for your motorbike"
Pride returned and I'm pretty close to being a normal human being again - okay ...close is good!!
Dirty_D
Posted: Thursday, May 10, 2012 8:41:26 AM

Rank: Head Nurse

Joined: 4/15/2011
Posts: 7,182
Location: Soaking up the sun, United States
clum wrote:
It's very interesting to see how varied the responses here are compared to the poll in Ask the Gals.


Another LIKE

FYI: I asked my BF this question & his response was "all of the above."

Dirty_D
Posted: Thursday, May 10, 2012 8:47:51 AM

Rank: Head Nurse

Joined: 4/15/2011
Posts: 7,182
Location: Soaking up the sun, United States
playsit wrote:

More to the point of DD's question though, if I were with a new partner I would be concered that my dick was too small. All the ads dealing with how to grow a longer schlong combined with all the guy here at Lush being nine inches or greater I would have to wonder. Other than that, I'm generally secure with my appearance and bedroom skills/abilities.


This reminded me of the gentleman we had as a patient Very early in my nursing classes. He had had a penial extension. There are very few things that make a class full of young girls giggle nearly as much as the poor man who had the perpetual semi erect penis.



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