I'm not sure if this question is physical or mental but it weird that as a girl that has identified as a lesbian for several years is it odd/wierd/un-lesbian that I enjoy penetration, by fingers or toys, more than receiving oral sex? I do enjoy it, just not as much. I used to think that sex is was just a feeling but everyone has these different opinions and it's a little hard to keep my own thoughts straight. I've never had any relationships or sex with a man before because I never had an urge to and lately I've just been wondering what it would have been like. Being in a committed marriage and in love with a woman now could it be really possible that I could just be realizing that there's a possibility of me being bi-sexual or bi-curios?


Is this question to long? Any insight would help! Thank you!

I am a firm believer in forever evolving, just the way butterflies do. We are never the same person day to day, whether we retrospect or look forward we are constantly changing. On that same token, I believe that if you are having these feelings they need to be addressed baby steps at a time as you are so used to living the lifestyle you already live. My suggestion would be to look into the idea of going on a date with a male, too uncomfortable for a formal dinner date? Just go on one during daytime hours like a "lunch date" as it will be much easier for you to handle. It takes less time, less pressure or moral obligation to stay. If you don't like it, you don't like it! At least give it a try, believe me when I say penis is amazing :)

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Click > here < to read my first feature story, Techno Aphrodite by Piquet!

Why worry about what other people think?

Reading your email I sense two separate concerns. One is your partner who you mention in the last sentence. Your much bigger concern seems to be that you might not be a 'proper lesbian' whatever that might be and what other people might think of that. Which is the sort of thing that did worry me at 19 but does not worry me these days.

The gay community can be rather insular. I am straight, but I write for a gay blog. Like many communities that has been formed by adversity there is a tendency for members to suggest that anything less than 100% commitment is some sort of betrayal.

There is another possibility here and that it is that this is being driven by your mating drive rather than your sex/bonding drive. If you are straight there is no real need to distinguish between the two. But there are good reasons to suspect they might be different.

We are products of evolution and in evolutionary terms a female-female pair bonding can be just as successful in terms of child rearing, provided that is there is a child to rear. And our genes haven't adapted to in-vitro fertilization yet, or for that matter the fact that we now live to 70s and 80s rather than 35 being old.

So don't discount the possibility that some bastard sexist gene in there somewhere is desperately trying to turn on the 'baby making machine' gene.

I must stress here that my argument is meant to be factual rather than normative. The fact that we are biological creatures with some multi million year old genetic code adapted to a particular way of life does not make that life 'better'. We are all of us living way outside our design parameters. We are also designed to eat and store as many calories as possible because we are adapted to the possibility of famine.

Understanding what might be going on is merely a tool to help find out a solution. Depending on you and your partner, that solution might run from having a date with a straight or bi guy

, to her taking you with a strapon. It is also possible that she is having similar feelings.

I certainly don't think that there is any particular merit to being a 'gold star' lesbian. Better to try something and know than make an issue of not having tried it.

Taking a gay guy to bed does not seem like a good plan in this particular circumstance. Not unless you want to make a comedic movie.

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who do you thik strap o'ss were made for??

(sorry my letter after m is out!)

the pussy is made to be played with both ways


you are sooo ok :)