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Guest
Posted: Sunday, May 13, 2012 11:16:44 PM

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If you truelly love someone why do it? What is so amazing about that other person that your significant other cant give you? Why not leave the person you are with first?
Dark_Lord
Posted: Monday, May 14, 2012 3:58:09 AM

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Location: Fourways, South Africa
I have never cheated, but i do think it has something to do with the thrill of knowing that you can get caught that adds to the excitement of having the affiar.
kermit57
Posted: Monday, May 14, 2012 4:49:41 AM

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Joined: 6/9/2011
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Location: Ireland
Some of us cant cheat even if we wanted to. I have had a few chances to but dont think i could live with the guilt.
MMonroe
Posted: Monday, May 14, 2012 7:08:40 AM

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Location: United Kingdom
Because they can



*Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable?*



SensualDesires83
Posted: Monday, May 14, 2012 7:41:16 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/27/2009
Posts: 373
Location: Southeast, United States, United States
MMonroe wrote:
Because they can


Sadly, this is so true and says it best. Personally, I'd could never cheat on someone I love dearly. If I had thoughts of doing so, I would tell her first that the love I had for her is no longer there. That way, I would know the guilt would not be so hard.

"So don't cry to me.
If you loved me,
You would be here with me.
Don't lie to me,
Just get your things.
I've made up your mind."

--Evanescence
blazestcyr
Posted: Monday, May 14, 2012 8:21:48 AM

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Joined: 10/19/2011
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Location: where bugs die
cheaters....are passive agressive people..who..are o the way...out....just my thoughts...
DeLioncourt
Posted: Monday, May 14, 2012 8:22:46 AM

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Location: United States
I believe...to have something you are not getting at home...whether it be a certain sexual act that your partner will not do with you, or even attention or affection. There are many reasons. For reasons, insert the word "excuses".
FelineFantasy
Posted: Monday, May 14, 2012 9:18:34 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/14/2011
Posts: 387
Seriously my thoughts as well! My friends boyfriends will try to text me or hit on me, but they always say how much they love their girlfriends. I've always lived by the rule "Actions speak louder than words" so I call bullshit! Guys get away with anything, they are so good that they can wiggle themselves out of fatherhood. It's so sad!

Click > here < to read my first feature story, Techno Aphrodite by Piquet!
atrociouslylusty
Posted: Monday, May 14, 2012 9:20:46 AM

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Joined: 3/17/2012
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Location: India
I don't think I can cheat my significant other. Loyalty, and trust are too important for me, in a genuine relationship. So, I guess... it depends on person to person. For me, it's a big NO! icon_smile
littlemissbitch
Posted: Monday, May 14, 2012 9:48:56 AM

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Location: the land of enchantment, United States
i really dont believe that if you TRULY love a person you will cheat...its when you stop loving them that you do.

littlemissbitch ~ professional face ripper offer, at your service..
Guest
Posted: Monday, May 14, 2012 9:53:14 AM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,624
I think some men cheat because they like having various sex partners, they know they can get away with it, and they no longer feel satisfied in their current relationship and are too cowardly to end the relationship. Also, some men like to feel Free!


Guest
Posted: Monday, May 14, 2012 10:18:47 AM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
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It really hurts to be cheated on, but I don't think it always means the cheater doesn't love their partner. The biological drive for multiple partners is sometimes overwhelming!
TJRogue
Posted: Monday, May 14, 2012 10:26:27 AM

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Location: Midwest
Heather (Jolly Holly) is quite right. The sexual or biological drive to be with other partners is very strong, but of course we all know how painful cheating can be. But it does not mean that the cheater does not love their partner.
mercianknight
Posted: Monday, May 14, 2012 10:46:22 AM

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Joined: 8/11/2009
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Location: whispering conspiratorially in your ear, Bermuda
jollylolly wrote:
It really hurts to be cheated on, but I don't think it always means the cheater doesn't love their partner. The biological drive for multiple partners is sometimes overwhelming!


Agreed. However, without labouring the definition of "cheat", I confess that the only time I ever succumbed to my need for a shag with someone other than my soul mate, was when she cut me off for over a year because of some emotional stuff she was going through. There was never any relationships - just some good hard shagging with some willing, appreciative ladies.
coffee

"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element

"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
Guille
Posted: Monday, May 14, 2012 10:58:30 AM

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Joined: 1/17/2012
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Location: Madrid, Spain

"Morality, like art, means drawing a line someplace."  - Oscar Wilde


I would attribute this to three main drivers that have over the last 2-3 decades depressed the morality-standards line relative to sex in many people: 

1. Societal: The evolvement and liberalization of our society to where talking about and using sex as a key marketing tool has gradually become more and more accepted.

2. Gendered: Women becoming comfortable with revealing more of their body, thereby emboldening fashion designers and driving temptation levels to unprecedented heights.

3. Religious: More and more people have been becoming less of followers / practitioners of religion.  Sex has become more of a recreational activity and much less about partnering with your loved one and procreating with him/her.  That is not to say that there is not a recreational part to sex with one’s partner.  Rather, that sex has become less about practicing love with someone and more of a mere physical encounter.


Personally, I don’t buy into the "because they can" argument because we "can" do many other things such as steal, run over someone with our car, etc. but people are less likely to do those than they are to cheat on their spouse/partner. I was in a long-term relationship once that had been "unofficially" over for sometime when I went on a trip to Latin America, and I am a SUCKER for Latin women  675-lick  laughing9 .  Given that I would not have liked it if my significant other at the time was cheating on me, I stayed away from late nightlife.  But of course all of that changed on my following trip one year later after we had formally separated.  f-hihi 

Guest
Posted: Monday, May 14, 2012 11:11:50 AM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
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[quote=Guille]
"Morality, like art, means drawing a line someplace."  - Oscar Wilde

I love thatcat


principessa
Posted: Monday, May 14, 2012 11:23:14 AM

Rank: Sophisticate

Joined: 8/23/2011
Posts: 4,305
Location: Canada
Another Oscar Wilde quote that seems to fit: "I can resist everything except temptation."

Most of us want to have our cake and eat it, too, if we can, in many situations. In relationships, the consequence of cheating - the broken trust - is very difficult, if not impossible, to repair. Not worth the extra helping of cake you had, so to speak. All of us should be straight with our partners if we are incapable of fidelity. We should not make promises that will not be kept and cause so much pain when they are broken.

winky
Posted: Monday, May 14, 2012 7:18:45 PM

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Joined: 10/5/2011
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Location: tanning on the beach
the reasons why people cheat?
1. because people are afraid of change and dont want to break up with someone if they have been with them for so long aka they are a pussy
2. they are just a TOTAL ASSHOLE and want to get with as many people as they can with having the safety plan to fall back on
3. they are into weird sexual things like bdsm or some fetish and are afraid to tell you
4. its a boring relationship and they cant help but go out and look for someone new but then again are too lame to break it off
5. staying together because of the connections like for the kids or if they have become bffls with the fam
6. because they are not sexually happy (my ex's excuse.. pssh what a liar )

i have been cheated on and it sucks but most cheaters are just low life jerks. if you cheat your a jerk. but if you cheat and you have a good reason, please inbox me and tell me so i can add it to the list
LustfulRay
Posted: Monday, May 14, 2012 9:48:18 PM

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Location: United States
Now honestly I have to say women are the most deceitful when it comes to cheating. I've been cheated on many times and yes I've gotten my....revenge but still it doesn't just go one way. It goes both ways. I have never cheated on a woman and always treated them as if they were a queen but in the end, ahve gotten cheated on. In my book men are the victims and females are the ones who cause hurt and pain.
TheCrimsonKing
Posted: Tuesday, May 15, 2012 12:37:57 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 5/1/2012
Posts: 66
Location: Kentucky, United States
If I really had to guess, I would say that 2/3 of the time it's a spur of the moment thing. Being a guy I know that sometimes we don't think with the right head. ;)

The 3 big reasons why people cheat: spur of the moment, revenge, or because they aren't getting any in the first place. But, yeah, some people just suck
realz
Posted: Tuesday, May 15, 2012 5:50:11 AM

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Joined: 1/29/2011
Posts: 207
Why cheat? From a biological standpoint, it's natural (natural does NOT necessarily mean good). For starters, culture notwithstanding, humans are not fully monogamous animals, we are at most semi monogamous.

Human reproductive strategy has been tuned by evolution to optimize the number of ones genes that make it into the next generation. Strategies are necessarily different between males and females. Males that successfully consumated opportunistic matings injected more copies of their genes into the next generation than those who did not (viewed from the other side, a disproportionate number of your male ancestors were 'cheaters', you have those genes). That is why, for men far more often than for women, sex with an anonymous stranger is exciting. Females by contrast have less to gain genetically, a woman is not likely to produce significantly more offspring simply by having more partners unless here current partner is unsatisfactory. The one benefit, however, that females get from extra matings is resources and social status within the group. A male that has a lot more to offer her (and her children) can indirectly contribute to here reproductive success.
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, May 16, 2012 1:53:36 AM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,624
" That's a bit stuffy and sciencie for my taste " Mister Garrison.

I have cheated, for different reasons at different times in my life. I was in a long distance relationship and I missed intimate contact. I also was torn between 2 women one I loved and one I cared a lot for. And some times Ive just been A dick because I did not give a shit about the other person in the relationship.
muleskiner
Posted: Wednesday, May 16, 2012 12:40:22 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 4/28/2012
Posts: 52
Location: San Francisco Bay Area, United States
I haven't and wouldn't! Not worth it!
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, May 16, 2012 9:08:17 PM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,624
LustfulRay wrote:
Now honestly I have to say women are the most deceitful when it comes to cheating. I've been cheated on many times and yes I've gotten my....revenge but still it doesn't just go one way. It goes both ways. I have never cheated on a woman and always treated them as if they were a queen but in the end, ahve gotten cheated on. In my book men are the victims and females are the ones who cause hurt and pain.


I have never cheated on any of my partners. I swear I am like a freakin toy to men though just toss me around like my emotions dont matter. I know im a chick and Im emotional but wtfh?! Seriously at least if you are going to cheat go for an upgrade its an insult to your current partner to do something that looks like a dog -.-
Guest
Posted: Thursday, May 17, 2012 7:51:00 AM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,624
cumslut_22 wrote:


I have never cheated on any of my partners. I swear I am like a freakin toy to men though just toss me around like my emotions dont matter. I know im a chick and Im emotional but wtfh?! Seriously at least if you are going to cheat go for an upgrade its an insult to your current partner to do something that looks like a dog -.-


LOL. Your right about going with a dog, could never understand why someone would risk losing a babe for a quick fumble with a munter.
BIGTONY
Posted: Tuesday, May 22, 2012 12:11:33 AM

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Location: United States
ive never cheated but like you said "If you truelly love someone why do it?" thats the thing if they do its because they dont love you and yea thats messed up and sorry guys have treated you like a toy but women are like that to
Jerry_197
Posted: Thursday, August 29, 2013 4:21:22 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 8/23/2013
Posts: 55
Location: Solihull
cumslut_22 wrote:
If you truelly love someone why do it? What is so amazing about that other person that your significant other cant give you? Why not leave the person you are with first?


the main reason why I do not
Noreasonneeded
Posted: Thursday, August 29, 2013 5:57:21 PM

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Felopzed
Posted: Thursday, August 29, 2013 6:08:40 PM

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Joined: 8/22/2013
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Location: Middle of Nowhere, United States
If you really want honesty ladies well here goes. When I was married my wife was very cold hearted, manipulative, scheming, and did things that only made her feel good. She didn't give a damn about those around her, even her kids. It tore me up inside to know that this was the woman I was going to spend the rest of my life with.

All that ever mattered was herself.

Those selfish acts of hers drove me into the arms of another woman. To top it off it was an internet affair I was having so it was never physical. Sometimes that's the worst of all. But to me it was a means of escape from her constant mind games. I wanted someone who cared about me and for who I was. In the end she divorced me and left me for another woman. That was the ultimate slap in the face.

It goes both ways ladies, maybe you should take a second look at yourselves to find out why he is cheating.

I am by no means saying that all women are to blame but reassess what has happened in your relationship to find out what went wrong.
1nfinitesexuallity
Posted: Thursday, August 29, 2013 6:50:12 PM

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Joined: 6/10/2013
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Location: kissimmee, United States
Here's how I see it if you aren't happy in the relationship breakup, or divorce its that simple I hate people who cheat.
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