Opening up for the first time can shock people and make you seem like that bad guy type but if it made you feel better than who cares what others think. Its whats best for you and your family right? And if you opened up to a family or friend then they need to accept that you are changing and opening up now instead of being the closed fist type. Because if you keep things bottled up for too long you might go and hurt others or more importantly hurt yourself. I know and understand cause I was the quiet one for so long as well. If you ever need a friend to lend you a ear feel free to message me back.

Keeping things bottled up only really hurts you in the,end as it prays on your mind and it may stress you out.People change as they get older ie when younger they may feel that is not their business to speak up.

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[color=indigo][/color]Sexyeyes37

My opinions are usually not welcome, nor popular, so it's usually best to keep things to yourself. I like to be direct, but have found it usually just gets me into trouble.

As many have said, it's not in your best interest to keep things bottled up. And, as CK has mentioned, it depends on the situation, who's involved, and whether there is benefit to saying your mind/what your heart says.

In my life, I am one of those that writes things down. I'll stew over something if it's important to me or my loved ones. Sometimes, my opinion isn't popular, and as we all know, words can be like knives ... so I try to ensure my comments are not directly hurtful.

I have also found, as I "mature" (don't laugh, I am!) there are things that you really don't need to sweat over, things that will annoy you, and things that you do need to speak up about. The trick is learning what is which of those.

Good luck!

PA

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Hey countrygirl58, you're not the 'bad guy' just because someone else thinks you are, because others think you are not. I always had sort of the opposite problem of keeping things bottled up, I just blabbed. It has helped me to find other outlets: write it down, tell a trusted friend; go in the bathroom and throw water on my face., but there are times we can't do those things. In those times trust yourself. Of course you will be concerned about what others think, no one likes to have their thoughts rejected, but sometimes it is worth the risk to state yourself. Remember, you are important, just as much as anyone else, and so are your ideas.

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If you ignore beauty, you will soon find yourself without it.................Frank Lloyd Wright

I always practice obedience, when it's in my best interest.

There are times for both 58. Sometimes you just have to get things off your chest and just say fuck the consequences...

Some people are so narcissistic that they speak their mind or say what they think regardless of other people's feelings. Sometimes these know it all blabber mouth's just have no respect or regard for other people and think so highly of themselves that they cannot temper their mouth. Unfortunately for them, what they think is an intelligent statement usually just shows their ignorance.

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This is true. Whether or not one should allow ones self to become entangled in a situation should depend on a few key points. The first being of course, do they have a choice. If the issue is being forced upon them by the type of person Buz mentioned then there is no real option but to speak but even then it would be wise to listen carefully so that you have understanding.

Second, is it important enough for one to risk the consequence of involvement? Major disagreements can erupt simply because a person couldn't emotionally tolerate the very idea that someone didn't have an inconsequential fact straight and then became insulted when their correction was not taken at face value. Many arguments can be avoided simply by realizing that we don't need to protect everyone from their own ignorance. Don't try to educate the unwilling, their comeuppance is to go on looking foolish and you get to avoid the negative feelings brought on by trying to save them from it.

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“It is a great thing to know your vices.”
― Marcus Tullius Cicero
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I often just don't say anything either, but the older I get, the more I feel the need to speak up sometimes. I typically only do it when not speaking up affects me personally, like someone persistently asking me about my personal business. Or if what someone is saying or doing hurts someone else. then I will speak up. but never just to hurt someone.

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There is no mark of self,
And no mark of others,
No mark of living beings,
And no mark of a life.

-- The Diamond Sutra

i have to tell aloud tto the world about my feelings,good or bad,i always like the consequences rather than keeping my feelings to myself

Not only do I speak my mind but I use my hands while I'm doing it - I'm half Italian and half French after all :p

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There is a time for both i think. Sometimes its best to sit back and keep your mouth shut. And then there are times you should speak your mind. The real test is knowing when to each. Because so many people get them mixed up and disaster happens!

I guess it all Depends on things I guess for me. If I trust someone than I might open to them, but I have a terrible habbit of keeping stuff to myself, and letting things bottle up, till I explode.

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I base it on the situation, but quite often my thoughts are a bit too honest to be spoken out loud.

"We speak when we cease to be at peace with our thoughts. And in talking, thinking is half murdered. For thought is a bird of space, that in a cage of words, may indeed unfold its wings, but cannot fly" Kahlil Gibran. Gibran aside, I'd suggest our need to put our foot forward, if only verbally, is a need that is based on insecurity. We don't need to prove ourselves to others. We just think we do.