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Keeping Your Mouth Shut or Speaking what is on your mind. Options · View
countrygirl58
Posted: Saturday, June 16, 2012 8:05:24 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 5/22/2012
Posts: 284
I typically all my life keep things bottled up.
Yesterday spoke my piece and now I am the bad guy.
So guess I go back to keeping things in. And get in trouble for doing that too.
ReleaseMe4034
Posted: Saturday, June 16, 2012 8:52:56 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 5/24/2010
Posts: 31
Location: west of worcester, United States
Opening up for the first time can shock people and make you seem like that bad guy type but if it made you feel better than who cares what others think. Its whats best for you and your family right? And if you opened up to a family or friend then they need to accept that you are changing and opening up now instead of being the closed fist type. Because if you keep things bottled up for too long you might go and hurt others or more importantly hurt yourself. I know and understand cause I was the quiet one for so long as well. If you ever need a friend to lend you a ear feel free to message me back.
Guest
Posted: Saturday, June 16, 2012 9:39:28 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 470,343
don't keep things bottle up it will eat away at you. say whats on your mind and who gives a fuck what the other people think.
dont worry about them be yourself and if you feel you need to speak up. do so.
sexyeyes37
Posted: Saturday, June 16, 2012 1:43:12 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/13/2012
Posts: 599
Location: United Kingdom
Keeping things bottled up only really hurts you in the,end as it prays on your mind and it may stress you out.People change as they get older ie when younger they may feel that is not their business to speak up.

sexyeyes37
Guest
Posted: Saturday, June 16, 2012 5:37:44 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 470,343
countrygirl58 wrote:
I typically all my life keep things bottled up.
Yesterday spoke my piece and now I am the bad guy.
So guess I go back to keeping things in. And get in trouble for doing that too.


It depends on the situation and the context. Sometimes it's prudent to keep silent. It depends on the circumstances. By speaking up can you hurt someone else? Is it just to make you feel better at the expense of someone else? Who can benefit by you speaking up? Are you exposing a secret that's best left buried? Are you telling a truth to right a wrong? There's too many variations on this question to just say screw it, tell it like it is.
SensualSharon
Posted: Saturday, June 16, 2012 6:44:00 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 4/29/2010
Posts: 98
Location: Canada
My opinions are usually not welcome, nor popular, so it's usually best to keep things to yourself. I like to be direct, but have found it usually just gets me into trouble.
Guest
Posted: Saturday, June 16, 2012 7:21:11 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 470,343
I don't bother with the whole bottling things up. i am completely straightforward with everything i say. sometimes at the wrong time, but since i have been doing it for years, it's expected. It just depends on the context, and often that first unexpected outburst that gets you perceived negatively
VanGogh
Posted: Saturday, June 16, 2012 8:55:51 PM

Rank: Sarcastic Coffee Aficionado

Joined: 2/10/2012
Posts: 2,756
Location: Vancouver, Canada
As many have said, it's not in your best interest to keep things bottled up. And, as CK has mentioned, it depends on the situation, who's involved, and whether there is benefit to saying your mind/what your heart says.

In my life, I am one of those that writes things down. I'll stew over something if it's important to me or my loved ones. Sometimes, my opinion isn't popular, and as we all know, words can be like knives ... so I try to ensure my comments are not directly hurtful.

I have also found, as I "mature" (don't laugh, I am!) there are things that you really don't need to sweat over, things that will annoy you, and things that you do need to speak up about. The trick is learning what is which of those.

Good luck!

PA



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GamerGirl10
Posted: Saturday, June 16, 2012 9:02:27 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/10/2012
Posts: 122
Location: Asheville, United States
I'm with the OP here. I typically keep things in, I don't like to talk or give my opinion especially if it would hurt someone. But I've had a big life lesson that taught me keeping things in is bad not only for you, but for the people you keep the information from.

I know it's dependent on the situation, but there is always a way to express what you're feeling without rubbing someone the wrong way. I haven't necessarily learned the mind-to-mouth filter talent yet--I'm just naturally bad at it & keeping my temper in check too.

I hope you figure out the right thing to do. The right thing might not always be the easiest, just take it all in stride. Best wishes :)
redlips
Posted: Sunday, June 17, 2012 8:37:20 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 5/21/2011
Posts: 143
Hey countrygirl58, you're not the 'bad guy' just because someone else thinks you are, because others think you are not. I always had sort of the opposite problem of keeping things bottled up, I just blabbed. It has helped me to find other outlets: write it down, tell a trusted friend; go in the bathroom and throw water on my face., but there are times we can't do those things. In those times trust yourself. Of course you will be concerned about what others think, no one likes to have their thoughts rejected, but sometimes it is worth the risk to state yourself. Remember, you are important, just as much as anyone else, and so are your ideas.

If you ignore beauty, you will soon find yourself without it.................Frank Lloyd Wright

I always practice obedience, when it's in my best interest.
Guest
Posted: Sunday, June 17, 2012 11:39:39 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 470,343
countrygirl58 wrote:
I typically all my life keep things bottled up.
Yesterday spoke my piece and now I am the bad guy.
So guess I go back to keeping things in. And get in trouble for doing that too.



You should be able to speak what's on your mind. Like what others have said, do not
keep it bottled up. It will eat at you. I generally speak my mind, I have learned that
by not doing it, they won't know and by doing it you get your point across. Even if you
seem like 'the bad guy', I personally don't think it's that bad. You wont be perceived like
that forever, because all is forgotten over time. Even if you might hurt the person, it may
be for their own good.

However, there are a lot of scenarios to when you feel you should or shouldn't
speak up. It's just a matter of what you feel is right or what you need to be heard.

My 2 cents
Smoothtalkin_wolf
Posted: Wednesday, June 20, 2012 9:41:50 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 5/31/2012
Posts: 212
Location: Chi-town area, United States
There are times for both 58. Sometimes you just have to get things off your chest and just say fuck the consequences...
littlemissbitch
Posted: Wednesday, June 20, 2012 12:49:28 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/6/2011
Posts: 778
Location: the land of enchantment, United States
i speak my mind...i get in trouble a lot ;) but i am learning to "know my audience" and temper my delivery. i have discovered that people cant hear you very well after you've smashed them in the face with a baseball bat. metaphorically speaking of course ;)

littlemissbitch ~ professional face ripper offer, at your service..
Buz
Posted: Wednesday, June 20, 2012 1:10:09 PM

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Joined: 3/2/2011
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Location: Atlanta, United States
Some people are so narcissistic that they speak their mind or say what they think regardless of other people's feelings. Sometimes these know it all blabber mouth's just have no respect or regard for other people and think so highly of themselves that they cannot temper their mouth. Unfortunately for them, what they think is an intelligent statement usually just shows their ignorance.

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Guest
Posted: Wednesday, June 20, 2012 1:23:50 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 470,343
As has been said several times, there is a time and place for speaking your mind and keeping your mouth shut. I have found out to my cost both. But at the end of the day, if you're not happy, tell someone and do something about it. I for one would definately just keep speaking my mind. it makes life more interesting.
Milik_Redman
Posted: Wednesday, June 20, 2012 1:32:00 PM

Rank: Internet Philosopher

Joined: 8/14/2009
Posts: 3,725
Location: somewhere deep under the Earth, United States
Buz wrote:
Some people are so narcissistic that they speak their mind or say what they think regardless of other people's feelings. Sometimes these know it all blabber mouth's just have no respect or regard for other people and think so highly of themselves that they cannot temper their mouth. Unfortunately for them, what they think is an intelligent statement usually just shows their ignorance.


This is true. Whether or not one should allow ones self to become entangled in a situation should depend on a few key points. The first being of course, do they have a choice. If the issue is being forced upon them by the type of person Buz mentioned then there is no real option but to speak but even then it would be wise to listen carefully so that you have understanding.

Second, is it important enough for one to risk the consequence of involvement? Major disagreements can erupt simply because a person couldn't emotionally tolerate the very idea that someone didn't have an inconsequential fact straight and then became insulted when their correction was not taken at face value. Many arguments can be avoided simply by realizing that we don't need to protect everyone from their own ignorance. Don't try to educate the unwilling, their comeuppance is to go on looking foolish and you get to avoid the negative feelings brought on by trying to save them from it.

“It is a great thing to know your vices.”
― Marcus Tullius Cicero




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Guest
Posted: Friday, July 13, 2012 1:28:29 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 470,343
Have to know when is acceptable and when it's not. It's all about knowing your place. At work, if you aren't the boss, keep it shut. On the street, probably not the best. But there are times you are fully able, so go for it. It's good to vent.
adele
Posted: Wednesday, July 18, 2012 2:11:03 AM

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Joined: 4/8/2011
Posts: 20,538
Location: if I knew where I was then I would not be here...
I often just don't say anything either, but the older I get, the more I feel the need to speak up sometimes. I typically only do it when not speaking up affects me personally, like someone persistently asking me about my personal business. Or if what someone is saying or doing hurts someone else. then I will speak up. but never just to hurt someone.

There is no mark of self,
And no mark of others,
No mark of living beings,
And no mark of a life.


-- The Diamond Sutra
BLKDragon
Posted: Wednesday, August 22, 2012 9:17:05 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 8/18/2012
Posts: 78
Location: pittsburgh, United States
all depends on the conversation and situation .I have no problem giving a statement or opinion.other times I sit back and just absorb .
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, August 22, 2012 10:38:22 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 470,343
i have to tell aloud tto the world about my feelings,good or bad,i always like the consequences rather than keeping my feelings to myself
MoonlightSerenity
Posted: Wednesday, August 22, 2012 11:24:22 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/7/2012
Posts: 853
Location: United Kingdom
SensualSharon wrote:
My opinions are usually not welcome, nor popular, so it's usually best to keep things to yourself. I like to be direct, but have found it usually just gets me into trouble.


This is me to a t.

Sadly often when I do speak out I get a group of people getting me into trouble and not the one I was talking to.

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BelleduJour
Posted: Tuesday, September 04, 2012 9:17:05 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/13/2011
Posts: 1,508
Location: Canada
Not only do I speak my mind but I use my hands while I'm doing it - I'm half Italian and half French after all :p

Frank
Posted: Wednesday, September 05, 2012 8:58:27 AM

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Joined: 11/16/2011
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Location: Pleasure dome, United Kingdom
BelleduJour wrote:
Not only do I speak my mind but I use my hands while I'm doing it - I'm half Italian and half French after all :p


204-oral

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Ariel21
Posted: Wednesday, September 05, 2012 1:33:11 PM

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There is a time for both i think. Sometimes its best to sit back and keep your mouth shut. And then there are times you should speak your mind. The real test is knowing when to each. Because so many people get them mixed up and disaster happens!
Ariel21
Posted: Wednesday, September 05, 2012 1:33:55 PM

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There is a time for both i think. Sometimes its best to sit back and keep your mouth shut. And then there are times you should speak your mind. The real test is knowing when to each. Because so many people get them mixed up and disaster happens!
Princess4Jim
Posted: Wednesday, September 05, 2012 1:59:16 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/15/2011
Posts: 328
Location: In your Fantasy, United States
I guess it all Depends on things I guess for me. If I trust someone than I might open to them, but I have a terrible habbit of keeping stuff to myself, and letting things bottle up, till I explode.

Americanheart
Posted: Wednesday, September 05, 2012 2:05:25 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 5/18/2012
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Location: In his arms, United States
depends on what's being said

Guest
Posted: Wednesday, September 05, 2012 2:13:13 PM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 470,343
I base it on the situation, but quite often my thoughts are a bit too honest to be spoken out loud.
Guest
Posted: Thursday, September 06, 2012 4:56:01 PM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 470,343
"We speak when we cease to be at peace with our thoughts. And in talking, thinking is half murdered. For thought is a bird of space, that in a cage of words, may indeed unfold its wings, but cannot fly" Kahlil Gibran. Gibran aside, I'd suggest our need to put our foot forward, if only verbally, is a need that is based on insecurity. We don't need to prove ourselves to others. We just think we do.
Guest
Posted: Thursday, September 06, 2012 4:56:42 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 470,343
"We speak when we cease to be at peace with our thoughts. And in talking, thinking is half murdered. For thought is a bird of space, that in a cage of words, may indeed unfold its wings, but cannot fly" Kahlil Gibran. Gibran aside, I'd suggest our need to put our foot forward, if only verbally, is a need that is based on insecurity. We don't need to prove ourselves to others. We just think we do.
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