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long distance BDSM relationship Options · View
jerseylynn
Posted: Sunday, March 25, 2012 11:39:43 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/10/2009
Posts: 1,391
Location: around and about Hell, United States
Hi A/all just curious, How do you handle the long distance relationship. What special things do you do to keep connected. Offer some some suggestions and share with us what works for you.

No one can make you jealous, angry, vengeful, or greedy -unless you let him.
- Napoleon Hill
Pixie
Posted: Sunday, March 25, 2012 2:02:43 PM

Rank: Flutterby Pharie

Joined: 9/27/2007
Posts: 5,983
Location: Never, Never Land, United States
Oh! I so want to chime in here......but I can't. Hope you get some good answers.

♥ Listen, touch, and look around in the air and on the ground. If you watch all nature's things, you might just see a fairy's wings. ♥
jerseylynn
Posted: Sunday, March 25, 2012 4:08:42 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/10/2009
Posts: 1,391
Location: around and about Hell, United States
Pixie wrote:
Oh! I so want to chime in here......but I can't. Hope you get some good answers.


Why can't you pixie?? You can post what works for you also....just saying

No one can make you jealous, angry, vengeful, or greedy -unless you let him.
- Napoleon Hill
Pixie
Posted: Sunday, March 25, 2012 7:08:30 PM

Rank: Flutterby Pharie

Joined: 9/27/2007
Posts: 5,983
Location: Never, Never Land, United States
After much thought I decided to share what works for me/us. Texting daily, phone calls when we can swing it, naughty voicemails are awesome! You get to hear eachothers voices as you describe what is next to come, and of course this site! You can always chat and send PM's on here.

♥ Listen, touch, and look around in the air and on the ground. If you watch all nature's things, you might just see a fairy's wings. ♥
Callisto
Posted: Monday, March 26, 2012 8:25:37 AM

Rank: Rocker of the cocker

Joined: 8/23/2010
Posts: 2,858
Location: A secret, United States
I agree with what has been said so far. Texting, phone calls, being able to hear their voice makes it even more exciting. Lush is a big plus, sending PMs, checking in through out the day, sending/ receiving black boxes.. Chatting on cam works great too, seeing your submissive do as you please. The times you do get to actually spend together are very special, seeing as you don't see each other often.

In my experience, when in a long distance relationship, a submissive can be issued tasks and it's exciting knowing they are completing the task asked of them. Fully trusting each other 100%. Having them do things they normally wouldn't and to know they are enjoying it, can be very satisfying.

Ravyn
Posted: Tuesday, March 27, 2012 1:30:13 PM

Rank: Cock Connoisseur

Joined: 4/26/2010
Posts: 2,089
Location: Bend, United States
I would have to agree with all that has been said thus far. Communication is key as it is in any relationship. Going about your day and getting a text message or an email from your Master was very exciting. I also have to agree that there has to be 100% trust on both sides for the relationship to grow. Using Skype is a wonderful way to be able to see each others faces and hear each others voices. There are many options out there to keep you and your love close, even if you are separated by miles whether it be hundreds, thousands or oceans apart.

Dudealicious
Posted: Tuesday, March 27, 2012 1:43:25 PM

Rank: Wise Ass

Joined: 11/12/2010
Posts: 5,413
Location: The center of the universe, Canada
I also agree with what has been posted here, however at times I like to send pictures or videos of different scenarios that I would like to see happen - Call it a role play of sorts.

Black boxes, e-mails and PM's are also a good tool to be able to communicate throughout the day! Gotta love Lush!

Nothing can beat hearing the voice of someone though be it on skype or over the phone, in my opinion it's the next best thing to being together!

The night that changed my life, a four part series of a married man lusting after his co-worker

Bunny12
Posted: Thursday, April 26, 2012 7:10:17 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/2/2009
Posts: 1,001
Location: My own little world, United States
First of all staying in contact via email, chat, text, cam and phone is most important of all to keep that special bond between you which creates trust. Then it is different with each sub according to what I find their deepest desires are and what my mood is. Some like to be given a list of tasks to complete. Some like to be enticed with porn clips and naughty messages. Most all like pics I send them when they earn them. I like to teach them how to give themselves the strongest orgasms they can have via my prompting which makes for a more intense fulfilling relationship. I believe above all you have to be good trusting friends with fantastic sexual chemistry between you for things to work out long distance for a long time. I treasure my guys and have had them for quite some time now. I suppose I would be considered a unusual Mistress as I think of my subs as pets not slaves and get off on their pleasure as they do mine.

Bunny12


Bunny Rabbits cute and fuzzy they want to love you but they have razor sharp teeth - don't piss them off!
bothofus36
Posted: Friday, April 27, 2012 6:41:15 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/9/2012
Posts: 111
Location: close to you, United States
My sub is able to have good fun when we are apart. We talk, she is told to orgasm only when I say so, then I have her do things she doesn't normally do. One idea is walking around her apartment naked, fantasizing about a woman at the pool, thinking about taking me into her mouth while I spank her ... etc. We do this by phone or text. Yes I do let her cum.





Guest
Posted: Friday, April 27, 2012 8:59:55 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,397
Got to agree with Bunny12 here. Consistency and reliability are the keys so neither is just freaking out and wondering "what next?" or "when next?" Not that there aren't surprises, but that the trust and dependability are established AND maintained. In addition, I think it's important in any relationship that the "seduction" continues daily and neither takes anything for granted. The more empathic you are, sensitive to each others' feelings, thoughts, desires, wants, needs, the better the relationship. You must communicate and the deeper, wider, more inclusive that communication is, the stronger the bond. You have to get way beyond the texting "Whut u doin? U hrny?" scale. :)
Callisto
Posted: Friday, April 27, 2012 10:49:55 PM

Rank: Rocker of the cocker

Joined: 8/23/2010
Posts: 2,858
Location: A secret, United States
Bunny12 wrote:
First of all staying in contact via email, chat, text, cam and phone is most important of all to keep that special bond between you which creates trust. Then it is different with each sub according to what I find their deepest desires are and what my mood is. Some like to be given a list of tasks to complete. Some like to be enticed with porn clips and naughty messages. Most all like pics I send them when they earn them. I like to teach them how to give themselves the strongest orgasms they can have via my prompting which makes for a more intense fulfilling relationship. I believe above all you have to be good trusting friends with fantastic sexual chemistry between you for things to work out long distance for a long time. I treasure my guys and have had them for quite some time now. I suppose I would be considered a unusual Mistress as I think of my subs as pets not slaves and get off on their pleasure as they do mine.


I agree with Bunny12 and WmCutterBlack, very good points .. and I like that part for sure :)

Guest
Posted: Friday, May 04, 2012 12:39:29 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,397
Skype...and some hot texts
Ravyn
Posted: Friday, May 04, 2012 11:22:26 AM

Rank: Cock Connoisseur

Joined: 4/26/2010
Posts: 2,089
Location: Bend, United States
WmCutterBlack wrote:
Got to agree with Bunny12 here. Consistency and reliability are the keys so neither is just freaking out and wondering "what next?" or "when next?" Not that there aren't surprises, but that the trust and dependability are established AND maintained. In addition, I think it's important in any relationship that the "seduction" continues daily and neither takes anything for granted. The more empathic you are, sensitive to each others' feelings, thoughts, desires, wants, needs, the better the relationship. You must communicate and the deeper, wider, more inclusive that communication is, the stronger the bond. You have to get way beyond the texting "Whut u doin? U hrny?" scale. :)


Very well said...the "AND maintained" is so important as is all that you outlined there.

Guest
Posted: Sunday, May 13, 2012 8:42:45 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,397
I wish I could say that it works for me, but I have been in two so far, one was in real, and the other was just online, I am at fault for one of them not working out, and the other one was her fault, but when its good its can be great, I concur with the comment about having your submissive doing assignments, it is exciting knowing they are doing the assignment and getting reports from them as they are doing it and when its completed. For those of you that it is working out, enjoy it. For myself, I am not against getting into another long distance bdsm relationship again, but that being said, I am also not looking for one...
jerseylynn
Posted: Sunday, May 13, 2012 9:13:21 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/10/2009
Posts: 1,391
Location: around and about Hell, United States
been there done that and i'm not sure i'll ever trust that much again.

No one can make you jealous, angry, vengeful, or greedy -unless you let him.
- Napoleon Hill
Red_Dragon
Posted: Sunday, May 13, 2012 9:31:56 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/4/2011
Posts: 743
Location: Charleston , United States
Yes it can work depending on the relationship between the Master or Mistress and sub

Red_Dragon
Posted: Sunday, May 13, 2012 9:34:33 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/4/2011
Posts: 743
Location: Charleston , United States
I should further clarify that as what are they looking for in their Relationship is it just physchological or do they want it to be physical also

Guest
Posted: Friday, June 01, 2012 8:39:26 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,397
I would like to chime in. When I am away from my Mistress we do keep in contact via the phone or email.
Webcamming also really helps keep the bond between a sub and his mistress strong.
Guest
Posted: Friday, June 01, 2012 8:58:00 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,397
In addition to all that's been said before, I think it's terribly important in any relationship, be it online or off, that the submissive be continually reassured that they are desired and not discarded. It's not a matter of "when it's convenient" or "only when I feel horny". It's a relationship, not a "hookup" or fuck buddy situation. I also think it's incumbent on a Dominant to help the submissive over rough emotional spots, when they are feeling depressed for whatever reason. It's a big responsibility having a genuine relationship and not just a one-off or strictly cyber sex situation. It doesn't have to be teddy bears, unicorns, whips and chains, or sharing porn. It can be so much more and should be unless you're just having fun together.
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, June 19, 2012 12:05:18 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,397
Well even though a lot of times it kills me to know i can't have his touch...or ACTUALLY be with him....even the simplest pm or txt makes my day!.....emails are always a nice surprise...and i love skyping with my Master!!!:)
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