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What can I tell him about my past that won't scare him away Options · View
samanthajones
Posted: Tuesday, July 24, 2012 4:08:59 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 7/2/2012
Posts: 13


My man has been to the docters and gotten viagra and wants to try cialis cause he can't stay hard.We were highschool sweethearts and I moved away and got with the wrong crowd. Now my girlfriends told me he has asked them and there husbands why im so loose, make vaginal sounds all the time, and my clit and labia are always out. They covered and said it's how some women are. My last relationship I was young and dumb, party days I regret. But, it wasn't like this before excessive fisting and very large toys. He will never find out but, i'm afraid his friends arent stupid. what to do
MMonroe
Posted: Tuesday, July 24, 2012 4:34:16 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/10/2009
Posts: 1,893
Location: United Kingdom
Why do you have to tell him? Just tell him its the way you are and to deal with it. He's clearly not mr. perfect in bed if he needs drugs to stay hard



*Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable?*



Guest
Posted: Tuesday, July 24, 2012 5:10:07 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,774
Milik_Redman
Posted: Tuesday, July 24, 2012 5:38:48 AM

Rank: Internet Philosopher

Joined: 8/14/2009
Posts: 4,412
Location: somewhere deep under the Earth, United States
What the hell is he doing asking your friends about something like that? Seriously, he asked your friends why you're pussy looks fleshy and makes pussy farts?

The fact that you have had an enjoyable sex life before him is irrelevant. Was he expecting a Nun? What I would find far more disturbing is that he would violate your trust with vulgar and crass questions about you to someone outside the confines of your bed. If he did this, you have more reason to feel angry and violated then he has to feel whatever the hell you're afraid he will feel because you dared to have a sexual desire that went beyond the missionary position in the dark.

Lastly, if you two are going to be happy. Not telling him you like something a bit bigger than average will eventually cause you great frustration. Being sexually compatible is critical to the health of a long term relationship. Almost in fact as important as trust, something else that seems to be lacking.

β€œIt is a great thing to know your vices.”
― Marcus Tullius Cicero


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samanthajones
Posted: Tuesday, July 24, 2012 5:43:02 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 7/2/2012
Posts: 13
Thanks everyone has really good points. When the right time comes I will tell him I need something a little bigger. This sucks probably isnt gonna last
blazestcyr
Posted: Tuesday, July 24, 2012 5:46:20 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/19/2011
Posts: 737
Location: where bugs die
wow i have to sooo agree with the lush milik the red..why DO you have to even address that STUPID question???all female parts are different & have zero to do with how may sexual partners you have!!!

gosh this BOZO has made me pissed off..who IS HE to go to YOUR buddies & slander you????

trust me sweetie this will get worse he is MASSIVELY insecure

either shut this down now..or you will be on the receiving end of some serious...abuse

your lover should treat you like the queen you are & n ot the garbage he throws away
73m819
Posted: Tuesday, July 24, 2012 8:03:48 AM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 6/23/2012
Posts: 1
If you have to worry about what to tell him, FIND SOMEBODY ELSE, The past is what makes a person, if someone can not accept that then there loss. Also it is the person in front of them NOW, NOT someone from years in the past.
samanthajones
Posted: Tuesday, July 24, 2012 8:22:41 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 7/2/2012
Posts: 13
Maybe I worded it wrong. He is a great guy, i love him to death and he loves me more. He tries so hard to please me and make me happy at the sacrafice of himself. But, he always say's he's on cloud 9 when I am. He wasn't trying to degrade me he was looking for advice, he thought I would think i wasn't turning him on and i'd loose self esteem. He was looking for new ideas.

In most cases our parts stay the same, no matter the partners, or the size. Other than bearing a few children. Often dedicated kegels will do the trick but, I have tried religiously for almost 9 months. Entrance is a lot tighter and once it's in I don't feel him much. Tried differnet positions and all. On my back with legs on his shoulders and him kneeling keeps him semi hard longest but really he just pulls me up and grind until he's limp.

My gyno says surgery is the only way to fix it. He says it's pelvic prolapse but, not an extreme case. Big toys, large objects, or fisting can cause it if people arent careful and safe. Which is my case. I need to find a solution without him knowing everything

TheDevilsWeakness
Posted: Tuesday, July 24, 2012 8:24:38 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 7/19/2011
Posts: 1,302
Location: I'm the girl that your father hoped he could date.
samanthajones wrote:

My man has been to the docters and gotten viagra and wants to try cialis cause he can't stay hard.We were highschool sweethearts and I moved away and got with the wrong crowd. Now my girlfriends told me he has asked them and there husbands why im so loose, make vaginal sounds all the time, and my clit and labia are always out. They covered and said it's how some women are. My last relationship I was young and dumb, party days I regret. But, it wasn't like this before excessive fisting and very large toys. He will never find out but, i'm afraid his friends arent stupid. what to do


I can understand the dilemma. You were high school sweethearts.
You can't think that his behavior is anything but normal.
But it's not. Get real and quit living in the past.

1. He shouldn't be discussing this with anyone other than you. He isn't mature enough to come to you with any of this.
2. He hasn't evolved enough to realize that people change. But obviously he has since he needs to go to the Dr to get some "help", but has to sneak around behind your back and ask your friends about you? Really?
3. Who cares what you did in the past as long as you're clean and disease-free. It's YOUR past. Not his. Accept it and relish in it.
4. Did he live in a monastery the entire time you guys weren't together? Every girl is different. So is every pussy (no matter what some of the classless jerks say: "A hole is a hole")

Take a step back and look at it as if it were a friend of yours telling you this. What advice would you give her? Would you tolerate this if someone was doing this to your friend? Or would you tell her to book it and find better.
Just because you moved away from your high school sweetheart doesn't mean he wasn't a jerk then and that its going to work out now.

stickyvix
Posted: Tuesday, July 24, 2012 9:34:09 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 4/20/2012
Posts: 26
Location: United Kingdom
Just tell him. If talking about all the kinky shit you have done in the past doesn't keep him hard, no drugs will!
Seriously, go buy some toys and let your kink come through, even if he is getting you off with a dildo, he would rather that than be worrying your going to run off with a guy with a bigger dick who can stay hard long enough to have sex.
1ball
Posted: Tuesday, July 24, 2012 9:56:36 AM

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Location: United States
Not sure why you mentioned the ED, but it's good that he's trying to do something for you. Assuming you're okay with him seeking advice from your friends, I recommend being honest and direct and then see if he sticks around. Don't ask for forgiveness. There is nothing to forgive. If he doesn't accept your "checkered" past, good riddance, because if he finds out later, it will likely hurt more. You're the best judge of whether he's the guy for you, but you won't have the information you need until you see how he reacts. If you want the surgery, tell him that.

My latest story is too hot to publish. My most recent story before that is Even Stranger In Lust
Dancing_Doll
Posted: Tuesday, July 24, 2012 11:45:17 AM

Rank: Alpha Blonde

Joined: 2/17/2010
Posts: 6,300
Location: West Coast
If it's pelvic prolapse and you think that it's affecting your sex life in a really negative way, I would just go for the surgery.

I wouldn't tell him anything about your past. I'm sure pelvic prolapse can happen for a variety of medical reasons (I think it's common as women age too?), and so there's no harm in just fixing the problem if it's going to improve your sex lives, give him a tighter fit, keep him harder longer and give you more pleasure too (if you can't feel him, that would have to be frustrating).

I agree with other people that you definitely don't need to go into details about how this pelvic prolapse situation came about - the past is the past and I think it's wise to keep those stories in the vault. He probably shouldn't have been asking random friends, but let's be honest- people do that all the time, including women when we overshare details or look for opinions from close girlfriends on sex and love issues.

I think he's a good guy and your relationship is probably solid. You just need to get a medical condition fixed up if you're comfortable going that route. That's probably the only thing that's going to make a significant change - I don't think you can kegal-exercise your way out of a pelvic prolapse.

People shouldn't judge if a person chooses surgery - besides, this is a functional thing, not a cosmetic thing. Only you can decide, but I'd say concentrate on the current issue at hand, and don't get into the reasons behind it. That's your private past, and you have every right to keep it that way.


WellMadeMale
Posted: Tuesday, July 24, 2012 12:32:41 PM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,301
Location: Cakeland, United States
What can you tell him that won't scare him away?

I once knew a woman (key word here - once) who confided to me after a fourth round technical knockout fuck/thrash session combined with inhalation of green leafy substance...

That she often ate her own snot/boogers. She'd read that doing so helped to increase her own levels of auto-immunization or some shit.

I didn't quit fucking her but I did quit kissing her. Did that make me shallow, squeamish or refuckingtarded?

She was also the first woman I ever snowballed with. Come to think of it...she and I busted through quite a few sexual barriers while darting into and out of the deviate zone.

As for your fondness for fisting - I'd just ask him to help you rekindle your former kink. You make him sound rather princely already, if not quite hung like a King. I bet he'd go for it!

If ya can't beat 'em... pay someone to do it for you.
Magical_felix
Posted: Tuesday, July 24, 2012 12:41:15 PM

Rank: Wild at Heart

Joined: 4/3/2010
Posts: 4,908
Location: California
WellMadeMale wrote:
What can you tell him that won't scare him away?

I once knew a woman (key word here - once) who confided to me after a fourth round technical knockout fuck/thrash session combined with inhalation of green leafy substance...

That she often ate her own snot/boogers. She'd read that doing so helped to increase her own levels of auto-immunization or some shit.


If you are gonna go strutting your stuff around the trailer park you can't be a punk bitch man. Trailer girls have all kinds of bizarre notions like this. So she ate some boogers, big deal. Don't be such a punk bitch.


As for the original question.

Tell him you studied the culinary arts.

Tell him that you left your last boyfriend cause he didn't like the morning noon and night blowjobs you gave him.

Tell him you won a world's tightest vagina contest.

That you're not super big on hanging out at your parents house every night.

Tell him that never in your past have you seen such a perfect cock on a man.



All these things are okay to say to a guy and won't scare him away. If you tell him you used to suck dick for meth then he will be scared off. This is common sense really. I like for girls to come clean of course and tell me the wild shit they did cause I think it's hot but most men might not think it's as cool.



FelineFantasy
Posted: Tuesday, July 24, 2012 1:14:19 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/14/2011
Posts: 387
I'm sorry, but the way this question has been executed and the fact that you don't have an avatar makes me believe that this is one of those "get popular schemes" that people use here in the forum. At any rate, I will give you the benefit of the doubt so here it goes- PLAIN AND SIMPLE: If your man doesn't appreciate you for your worth, leave. Easier said than done, I know.. I've been there too. But honestly he has no business questioning your peers about your genital region as if they are supposed to have all the answers. I really don't understand the logic behind that one! This seems like an unhealthy relationship to me. Your past is just that- YOUR PAST. If he wants to know something, he should ask you. And it's up to you whether to tell him the truth or not, but I highly advise you to do so because your relationship is already on shaky foundation. Honesty truly is the best policy, even if it costs the relationship- you will have maintained your dignity in the end.

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1nympholes
Posted: Tuesday, July 24, 2012 3:16:36 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 5/31/2012
Posts: 735
Location: Bare Beach USA, United States
So he has a problem and has been seeking medical help for his issue. Now he think you have a problem. Why is he not talking to you and maybe jointly talking to your physican. There are procedures to address these issue.

Why in the world would you even consider telling of your wild days. Many of us had them and some of still are having trouble growing out to them.

However if he should ask about you past and you really want to build a relationship, honesty is the best line of defense. Who knows he may like as a wild woman more than you think.

Seems to me there more than your share of red flags with this guy.






The girl who started early at this game of sexual pleasure, This girl that never seems to get as much as she wants, at least from the right people. But now certainly the woman that will test all the paths of pleasure with you.
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