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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 3/22/2011
Posts: 394
Location: Belgium
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Last year on a college activity I got really drunk. Someone asked if I was a virgin and drunk me didn't want to lose face, so I told them I wasn't. Now everybody thinks that I had sex with two women. Truth is that we only messed around and did oral. I'm on the verge of a new relationship with a girl and I want to be honest. Problem is that she thinks I had sex and she is in the same university as I am ( so she knows everybody that I know) Can I be truthful and ask her to keep it to her? She has had sex ( with a woman for sure, not sure about her first boyfriend though) Any advice?  Bag of shame, scribe
Love is my religion and her body is my temple!
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 9/13/2011
Posts: 928
Location: United States
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If you tell her, sooner or later, she'll tell someone. If you try to muddle your way through the first time with her, you might do okay.
Sensei's altimeter is reading 9000'. Suddenly the engine noise level drops a lot. The engine on the door side of the plane is quiet. We hear, "Shit! Fuck me!" from the cockpit, then the pilot yells, "Everybody out! Now!" Airgasms Induce Orgasms
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Rank: Gingerbread Lover
Joined: 1/6/2012
Posts: 3,289
Location: Trumpton, United Kingdom
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If you're nervous, but don't feel you can tell her the whole truth, then don't lie. Simply tell her you haven't had much practice. 
Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.
 ***  ********************************CLICK THE BANNERS TO BUY THESE WILLY-STIFFENING BOOKS!********************************
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 10/19/2011
Posts: 737
Location: where bugs die
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tell the truth....it is always easier to remember...
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 12/14/2010
Posts: 422
Location: Liverpool, United States
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blazestcyr wrote:tell the truth....it is always easier to remember... Much agreed!!!
"Sometimes you have to believe in someone else's belief in you before the belief in yourself kicks in" ~Les Brown
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Rank: Story Verifier
Joined: 6/5/2012
Posts: 103
Location: United Kingdom
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If she doesnt ask you, then your not being dishonest, your just not telling her everything, its different.
If like me you feel like you have to be honest, then you should be able to trust this girl with your secret, if she's the type of girl to go and tell everyone, is she really the person you want to give your virginity to?
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 6/26/2012
Posts: 102
Location: United Kingdom
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I was talking about this very topic with a friend not so long ago. His opinion was if it is someone you are just going to have a bit of fun with/one night stand they why do they need to know. If they say anything just claim lack of experience. But if its someone you want to have a relationship with and have been progressing up to the moment of sleeping together then it may be wise to tell them. However, you can listen and ask for opinions but in the end though the decision is down to you and how you choose to handle things when the time comes.
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Rank: Constant Gardener
Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 9,487
Location: Cakeland, United States
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Scribe wrote:
Can I be truthful and ask her to keep it to her?
I wouldn't tell her the whole truth and nothing but the truth, until you've actually been with her for awhile, and it appears that the two of you might actually become an item. There are no set in stone rules of course, but I've always felt that I didn't need to air all my laundry to every woman (or man) who I either decided to invite into my life (or was invited into theirs by them). Hell, you might as well bring her 3 dozen red roses on your first date and profess your undying love and devotion to her too. With an engagement ring! Baby steps Scribe.
 The best thing you can do for your fellow,
next to rousing his conscience, is - not to give him things
to think about, but to wake things up that are in him...
to make him think things for himself - George MacDonald
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 12/25/2010
Posts: 1,520
Location: Under Your Bed, United States
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Depends on the seriousness of your relationship. "Relationship" being the key word. If it's just a quick romp, then just do your best and she'll chalk you up to being a lousy lay. Not the end of the world, because you can get better with practice/time. But if you're in it for long term, then naturally you should be able to trust her with that sort of information. In my opinion, the most trivial thing anyone could lie about is their sexual exploits/adventures. Either you have or you haven't, nothing to be ashamed of either way.
"Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You." - Dr. Seuss
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 3/15/2007
Posts: 228
Location: United States
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If she asks, do *not* lie to her. Tell her your situation honestly and as much as needed.
Who knows you, and your honesty, may be just what she needs and wants. Her 'loose reputation" may be just talk or speculation.
Gramps
The quiet and always horny old guy in Sunny Florida USA
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 5/17/2012
Posts: 131
Location: Canada
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Jayne33 wrote:If she doesnt ask you, then your not being dishonest, your just not telling her everything, its different.
If like me you feel like you have to be honest, then you should be able to trust this girl with your secret, if she's the type of girl to go and tell everyone, is she really the person you want to give your virginity to? I'm with Jayne... sex, no matter who it's with, or for what reasons, is as intimate and personal as it gets. You don't give it to just anybody, especially the first time. However, admitting it AFTER the act is no shame... especially if she's in 7th heaven, breathing heavily, and has just had the sweetest, most attentive lover EVER, make her feel like a zillion bucks... ;)
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Rank: Author
Joined: 10/22/2011
Posts: 2,005
Location: Expat in, Russia
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Lies only build more lies... it will never be a foundation for an honest open relationship.
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 5/31/2012
Posts: 211
Location: Chi-town area, United States
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blazestcyr wrote:tell the truth....it is always easier to remember... Just tell the truth. If anything she will be happy that you came clean and that you like her enough to tell the truth. Besides... I cant imagine that she would be unhappy knowing that she is your first. win win
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Rank: Story Verifier
Joined: 9/6/2011
Posts: 781
Location: the land of enchantment, United States
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Smoothtalkin_wolf wrote:
Just tell the truth. If anything she will be happy that you came clean and that you like her enough to tell the truth. Besides... I cant imagine that she would be unhappy knowing that she is your first. win win
bahahahaaaa....thats rich man. rich. 
littlemissbitch ~ professional face ripper offer, at your service..
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Rank: Miss Sassy Pants
Joined: 3/14/2010
Posts: 6,474
Location: Ridin the Waves of Lush, United States
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 5/31/2012
Posts: 211
Location: Chi-town area, United States
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littlemissbitch wrote:bahahahaaaa....thats rich man. rich. The Lush Forums were created with the intention of providing a comfortable place for people with a common interest to exchange ideas, share information and enjoy each other's company. These forums are maintained in that spirit and members are expected to honor those goals. The basic guide to etiquette is this: be polite, be mature, keep your language clean and respect the opinions of others (even if you disagree). The forum administrator will browse the forums from time to time to ensure that the guidelines are being followed. Anyone not following the guidelines may find their posts deleted and risk being banned if the problem continues. If you notice any posts that do not adhere to these guidelines, please notify the forum administrator by internal forum mail to 'Admin' or Contact Us. No hate speech. Any post that insults people based on their race, gender, sex, sexual preference, religion, culture, or country of origin, or threatens them explicitly or implicitly is not allowed and may result in an immediate ban. This includes both fellow forum members and your fellow human beings in general. Personal disputesPlease do not use these forums for personal disputes, heated debates, flame wars etc. You are expected to treat each other with respect in the forums and take any personal disputes to a private mode of discussion off the forums. If you should find that your discussion is becoming too heated or someone is becoming far too passionate about their argument, please take the discussion to private message or email.Respect other usersSometimes people can write something that you may find offensive. Before launching into a public condemnation though, please consider that the person may not have intended to cause offense. It is very easy to misinterpret a post on forums. There is absolutely no need to resort to insults. Respect others' views even if you disagree with them.I expected better of a representative of LushStories.com.
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Rank: Story Verifier
Joined: 9/6/2011
Posts: 781
Location: the land of enchantment, United States
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wow Smooth Wolf your post shows so much time and effort..im seriously impressed. im sorry if you misunderstood though, i just thought what you said was funny. maybe that didnt come through....my deepest apologies.
littlemissbitch ~ professional face ripper offer, at your service..
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Rank: Miss Sassy Pants
Joined: 3/14/2010
Posts: 6,474
Location: Ridin the Waves of Lush, United States
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Before launching into a public condemnation though, please consider that the person may not have intended to cause offense. It is very easy to misinterpret a post on forums. LMB seems like he needs to reread this himself Love ya girlie
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Rank: Active Ink Slinger
Joined: 6/4/2012
Posts: 40
Location: Chicago, United States
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Smoothtalkin_wolf wrote:
Just tell the truth. If anything she will be happy that you came clean and that you like her enough to tell the truth. Besides... I cant imagine that she would be unhappy knowing that she is your first. win win
I agree tell her the truth if she likes you she will understand, honesty is always the best policy-- Honesty is a lesson certain others posting here on lush should learn and practice themselves. Wouldn't you agree?
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Rank: Story Verifier
Joined: 9/6/2011
Posts: 781
Location: the land of enchantment, United States
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BashfulKitty wrote:
I agree tell her the truth if she likes you she will understand, honesty is always the best policy-- Honesty is a lesson certain others posting here on lush should learn and practice themselves. Wouldn't you agree?
OMG!! theres LYING on lush?!?! No!!!!!
littlemissbitch ~ professional face ripper offer, at your service..
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 12/25/2010
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littlemissbitch wrote:wow Smooth Wolf your post shows so much time and effort..im seriously impressed. im sorry if you misunderstood though, i just thought what you said was funny. maybe that didnt come through....my deepest apologies. I actually found nothing wrong with your post, littlemissbitch. You weren't rude, you weren't condescending, and you weren't disrespectful. You just found his comment hilarious...as did I. I ssee no violation of the Lush guidelines/rules here.  
"Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You." - Dr. Seuss
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Rank: Constant Gardener
Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 9,487
Location: Cakeland, United States
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littlemissbitch wrote:
OMG!! theres LYING on lush?!?! No!!!!!
It happens every day... usually in places you don't expect it. But, I digress. Please carry on, LMB...you obviously have some experience with the suspect. 
The best thing you can do for your fellow,
next to rousing his conscience, is - not to give him things
to think about, but to wake things up that are in him...
to make him think things for himself - George MacDonald
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Rank: Lurker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Posts: 326,941
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Invite her to Lush and show her your post and the replies. She will see why the decision is so difficult for you.... :-)
Id
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Rank: Rookie Scribe
Joined: 8/20/2012
Posts: 1
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I have re-connected with a lover from a long time ago with whom I shared the mos mind-blowing sex of my life.I'm happily married to another woman for many years /I want to open private email realtionship with my first lover, and Idon't want share this withanyone else,mostespecially my loving wife. Since I have re-connected with "S" , my erotic life with my wifehas gone through the roof and ceiling. "S" says she wouldlike to get intimate withme again (from 900 miles away) but she thinks I'm being unfaithful. Is this cheating?
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 7/19/2012
Posts: 410
Location: A Cave, United States
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If you actually want to be with this girl long term, I wouldn't keep it from her. The definition of sex can stretch quite a bit though. Especially to include oral sex. I think you're worrying too much about it.
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 9/13/2011
Posts: 928
Location: United States
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blindcrow wrote:I have re-connected with a lover from a long time ago with whom I shared the mos mind-blowing sex of my life.I'm happily married to another woman for many years /I want to open private email realtionship with my first lover, and Idon't want share this withanyone else,mostespecially my loving wife. Since I have re-connected with "S" , my erotic life with my wifehas gone through the roof and ceiling. "S" says she wouldlike to get intimate withme again (from 900 miles away) but she thinks I'm being unfaithful. Is this cheating? You'll probably get a better response if you start your own thread with this, but you can probably answer your own question by asking yourself how you would feel if your wife did the same with some guy or how your wife would feel if she found out.
Sensei's altimeter is reading 9000'. Suddenly the engine noise level drops a lot. The engine on the door side of the plane is quiet. We hear, "Shit! Fuck me!" from the cockpit, then the pilot yells, "Everybody out! Now!" Airgasms Induce Orgasms
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Rank: Forum Guru
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Posts: 205
Location: Ibagué, Colombia
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Tell the truth... Bullshit will never get you anywhere.
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 4/8/2011
Posts: 19,358
Location: if I knew where I was then I would not be here...
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Lies beget lies and those beget more lies. eventually the truth comes out. lose lose. A couple of things to consider however. why do you feel the need to tell her anything about it at this point? Has she asked you about it or has the subject come up? As others here have said, you do not need to tell every little detail, and just saying you have not had much practice is not a lie, yet could explain any shortcomings you may experience. The other thing you could do is read up on some techniques of foreplay and what you can do to extend the time of your lovemaking. If she sees you are at least making an attempt to ensure her pleasure, even if it ends up less than optimal, she should be okay with it.
There is no mark of self,
And no mark of others,
No mark of living beings,
And no mark of a life.
-- The Diamond Sutra
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