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Rank: Lurker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Posts: 327,066
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1. The act of two people exchanging aspects of eachother's intellects—thoughts, perception, memory, emotion, will; imagination—far beyond a superficial level, executed through conversation. It is often characterized by intimacy, closeness, and exclusivity between the two persons. 2. To intellectually penetrate (or enter into) one’s mind/thoughts as if in sexual intercourse. 3. The mental version of sexual intercourse.
If we don't explore with our minds first how will we explore each other with our bodies.
Fantasising is another way for our mind to delve deeper into our sexual desires and wants. Most fantases are better than the act..So I don't feel that if I am fantasising about hugh jackman that i'm cheating on my husband..my husband will get the benefit of it!!
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Rank: Advanced Wordsmith
Joined: 3/21/2012
Posts: 74
Location: United States
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If it is, I'm skee-rude! But seriously, I don't think it is. I fantasize of upgrading my vehicle. Does that mean I'm "cheating" on the mid-sized family SUV parked in my garage? ;)
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 8/16/2009
Posts: 320
Location: this side of bliss..., United States
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no. let your imagination run wild!! 
"it is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." -aristotle
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Rank: Active Ink Slinger
Joined: 5/16/2012
Posts: 12
Location: Belgium
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not at all cause its not realy happening :) just like when your dreaming i dont consider this as cheating at all.
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 11/14/2010
Posts: 530
Location: Massachusetts, United States
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Umm, wifey is not at all jealous of my online friends or my imaginary lesbians. She is however quite jealous of the time I spend with Lara Croft.
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Rank: Lurker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Posts: 327,066
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Did you have an imaginary friend as a kid and now you don't? Would you consider that murder or just a missing "person" case? It's not cheating to have sex with your own imagination.
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 8/12/2010
Posts: 397
Location: United States
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If a couple uses many means to enrich their monogamous sex life, it's fine, we all fantasize... but I don't feel that you can plainly say that a Fantasy is in the mind while Cheating is physical. First of all what is the definition of cheating ?
Most cheating it's not about sex! Than YES, a fantasy that you're with someone also, real person or not that feeds your needs is "simply" cheating.
A lot more can be added.
Hum.. is writing an erotic story for Lush cheating? LOL
Practice what you know, and it will help to make clear what now you do not know. — Rembrandt
There is poetry as soon as we realize that we possess nothing. — John Cage
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 10/22/2010
Posts: 1,343
Location: Philadelphia, United States
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No! Fantasising is one thing, but fulfilling the fantasy is something else entirely.
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Rank: Advanced Wordsmith
Joined: 8/2/2011
Posts: 69
Location: United States
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Fantasizing is pretty natural and sometimes can't even be helped. I've dreamed some pretty hot things. Cheating implies deception, forethought and can be helped. This is my 50th post.
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Rank: Advanced Wordsmith
Joined: 11/26/2011
Posts: 79
Location: close to the water, United States
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I am so screwed if fantasizing is cheating. If it is, i have been cheating for most of my 25 year marriage. I am so screwed!!!
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Rank: Lurker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Posts: 327,066
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A BIG NO, OF COURSE. WE FANTASIZED BECAUSE SOME OF US ARE BEING DEPRIVED OF SOMETHING AND SOMETIMES, IT'S HARD TO TURN YOUR ILLUSION/DREAMS INTO TANGIBLE THINGS AND "FANTASY" IS THE BEST PLACE FOR THAT. I HAVE A LOT OF SEXUAL FANTASIES(BUT IS NOT INTO A RELATIONSHIP) AND IT REALLY HELPED ME TO SOOTHE MY MIND AND BODY. SEXUAL FANTASY IS I THINK, THE SAFEST FORM (IF ANY) OF SEX. SO FEEL FREE TO PLAY CREATIVE IMAGINATION... AFTER ALL, EVERYONE HAS DIRTY SECRETS. (BUT I DON'T CONSIDER FANTASIZING AS FILTHY).
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Rank: Lurker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Posts: 327,066
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A BIG NO, OF COURSE. WE FANTASIZED BECAUSE SOME OF US ARE BEING DEPRIVED OF SOMETHING AND SOMETIMES, IT'S HARD TO TURN YOUR ILLUSION/DREAMS INTO TANGIBLE THINGS THAT'S WHY "FANTASY" IS THE BEST PLACE FOR THAT. I HAVE A LOT OF SEXUAL FANTASIES(BUT IS NOT INTO A RELATIONSHIP) AND IT REALLY HELPED ME TO SOOTHE MY MIND AND BODY. SEXUAL FANTASY IS I THINK, THE SAFEST FORM (IF ANY) OF SEX. SO FEEL FREE TO PLAY CREATIVE IMAGINATION... AFTER ALL, EVERYONE HAS DIRTY SECRETS. (BUT I DON'T CONSIDER FANTASIZING AS FILTHY).
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 5/5/2011
Posts: 575
Location: In my mind, Australia
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I know when I'm having sex, I might switch my mind to tv characters, if they are a couple or movie characters. I have been having sex with the same person for 7 years.
It doesn't mean I love him less, it just makes my mind focus on something if he takes forever to orgasm. Especially if I am on all fours.
So the answer from my point of view is no it isn't cheating.
Axl - Take a look at our piercing menu.
Daria - I don't think that's how you spell "uvula."
Axl - That's not "uvula."
From: "Daria" episode "Pierce Me"
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Rank: Lurker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Posts: 327,066
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Well, first of all, you can't really cheat. My body is mine and your body is yours. I don't belong to anyone. So I can give myself to whomever I want; I don't need your permission. Now if we are married and decide to be monogamous, that's different.
Second, my thoughts? really? You not only want to claim exclusive rights to my body, you want my thoughts too?
Of course it's not cheating.
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 7/29/2012
Posts: 533
Location: Fl, United States
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no
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Rank: Lurker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Posts: 327,066
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Cheating means you break the rules in order to win. What are the rules and what do you win? Cheating is usually perceived like getting the answers before or during a test through unscrupulous means, not by your own knowledge, having a hidden ace up your sleeve, stepping over a line in the dirt, using a "dirty trick" to win a fight, and so forth. How do these apply to fidelity in a relationship? Did you set down "rules" mutually accepted? Or are these "rules" just something vague until you "break" one or another? I can hardly ever remember a relationship in which at the beginning it was specifically stated "Okay, but don't fuck someone else" let alone "Okay, but don't have any sexual fantasies about someone else."
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 6/6/2011
Posts: 693
Location: United States
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No. You are just considering the possibilities that's all.
For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.
Judy Garland
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Rank: Lurker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Posts: 327,066
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no.you have tp have your fanatises. or your list like if you could have one night with your favorite actress's .
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 1/27/2012
Posts: 146
Location: United States
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No, but say them out loud and turn your partner on, maybe he is thinking the same thing.
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Rank: Lurker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Posts: 327,066
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I dont think fantasizing about someone else is cheating.
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Rank: Rookie Scribe
Joined: 4/24/2012
Posts: 5
Location: United States
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No, fantasizing about someone is not like cheatinh at all. As humans we all have these lustful thoughts, but as long as we control it, i don't see it as cheating at all.
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 5/27/2010
Posts: 903
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I'm a total fantasist - no, it's not cheating at all.
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Rank: Penguin Wrangler
Joined: 12/25/2010
Posts: 1,549
Location: Under Your Bed, United States
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Of course not. It can actually be beneficial. Like, for instance, if a couple shares and realizes fantasies together. Also, we have no control over the mind. Cheating is a conscious and very deliberate act. We can't always control the way our minds wander. However, if you spend too much time in the realm of fantasy, then that's not helping anyone because your expectations can grow to a rather unrealistic level. But overall fantasizing is a good thing. But like all good things, too much can be harmful.
"Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You." - Dr. Seuss
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 7/29/2012
Posts: 533
Location: Fl, United States
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no it is not if we could be penalized for what we are thinking we'd all be in jail
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Rank: Rookie Scribe
Joined: 6/22/2012
Posts: 3
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I hope it's not cheating cause I fantasize often with someone here...
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 8/8/2012
Posts: 304
Location: New Zealand
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good question. I grew up with a christian background, and this was one of the big scriptures: Matthew 5:27-28 ESV “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. I guess that means only if you're in a relationship with someone though... Personally I don't think it's cheating unless it goes beyond being in your head. #JustSayin
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 6/15/2011
Posts: 786
Location: In a good place, United Kingdom
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of course not!
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Rank: Lurker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Posts: 327,066
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Fantasy to me is a safe and healthy outlet. The crazy things that run through my mind have no bearing on my feelings for those i love and respect, its merely a playground ...and I do love to play!
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Rank: Advanced Wordsmith
Joined: 8/18/2012
Posts: 74
Location: pittsburgh, United States
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I say hell no but there are those who say yes some would say cyber sex is cheating .I guess depends on the person and their senseability's.I say yuo need your dreamsand fantasy's or what would really keep us going other than those things ,I guess you could say hope but I say they are entiwined.
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 4/8/2011
Posts: 19,358
Location: if I knew where I was then I would not be here...
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I think there is an additional part to this. Just fantasizing, whether it be about doing something different sexually to or with your partner. or about someone in particular is one thing. And imagining things is certainly not cheating. that would be like saying you can't dream. Now I think more accurately, the question would be is fantasizing with someone other than your partner cheating (in other words, if you chat or cyber with someone online)? I think this is where the line becomes a bit more fuzzy. Assuming you have a partner, I think the question depends on whether your partner knows about it.
Perhaps you have fantasies about something he/she just does not want to do. If you discuss it and maybe set some parameters (like only chatting online on the specific website, not exchanging any real info like addresses or phone numbers, and agreeing to stop if either party or either spouse/partner feels the situation is becoming too real) and stick to that, then I think it is not cheating. On the other hand, if you hide your activity from your spouse, then I think you are cheating even before you start anything. n And of course, as soon as you do something that makes it more "real", like talking on the phone, skyping or actual meeting, then it is definitely cheating.
There is no mark of self,
And no mark of others,
No mark of living beings,
And no mark of a life.
-- The Diamond Sutra
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