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Age,does it matter? Options · View
Guest
Posted: Sunday, August 12, 2012 3:38:51 PM

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Ok, so i am at the moment with a guy who... Is quite a bit older than me I'll leave it at, more than... 10 years. I would like to ask all you Lushies, if age really effects the relationship or does it not?
Guest
Posted: Sunday, August 12, 2012 5:21:18 PM

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My first wife was 7 years older than I. I have a friend who married a lady 12 years younger than her. I do not think age makes a difference if two people are physically, emotionally, and spiritually compatible with one another.
TreeSuh
Posted: Sunday, August 12, 2012 5:54:30 PM

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Over 18, Age is just a number
1ball
Posted: Sunday, August 12, 2012 6:08:04 PM

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I think it can, because age related physical issues come up or in some case fail to come up when you want them to. Male sexual performance can drop off quickly, especially when passes 50, so with your 10+ years of age difference, you would need to be understanding and supportive at a time when you might resent it. So you have to think of something called emotional age. At some point, you may have to act more mature than you want to. Until then, it's really a matter of emotional compatibility.

My latest story is too hot to publish. My most recent story before that is Even Stranger In Lust
Guest
Posted: Sunday, August 12, 2012 6:14:08 PM

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love is love. you cant put an age barrier on love.
Guest
Posted: Sunday, August 12, 2012 7:35:07 PM

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No Age as long as they are a adult (over 18)
love knows no age no race no distance
Guest
Posted: Sunday, August 12, 2012 8:20:47 PM

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1ball wrote:
I think it can, because age related physical issues come up or in some case fail to come up when you want them to. Male sexual performance can drop off quickly, especially when passes 50, so with your 10+ years of age difference, you would need to be understanding and supportive at a time when you might resent it. So you have to think of something called emotional age. At some point, you may have to act more mature than you want to. Until then, it's really a matter of emotional compatibility.


I couldn't agree more. Regarding Emotional issues and physical. My former spouse is 8 yrs older and we had a number of issues come up. I would think long and hard before I enter into a long term relationship with a significant age gap.

Ten years may seem like nothing at 30 and 40. Wait till your 50 and 60...You just never know....

Id
CenterLine
Posted: Sunday, August 12, 2012 8:33:52 PM

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It matters from relationship to relationship. You say more than ten years, so I'll go with 15 for the purpose of this example. It depends what age you are. The difference between 45 and 60 is a lot different than the difference between 18 and 33. Once you reach a certain age there's a critical mass of life experience which allows you to know what you are and are not comfortable with, and who you should and should not trust. That age is different for everybody and the experience is your own.

I dated a woman who was 31 when I was 19, and discovered that she was simply getting me drunk and using me. I didn't care that much at first, but then discovered she was married. To be fair, her husband was a soldier and they had an arrangement wherein they could both see other people sexually while he was deployed, but she never told me about him and that was the problem. That experience taught me that it was too much of an age difference for who I was at that time.

About a year ago, in the course of about five months I dated a couple of different girls who were both 19, while I was 24. For one of them, it was not at all a good idea- though ironically I was the one who got too attached. In the case of the other, it worked out fine, because we both knew what we were doing and what our relationship was about. It was committed but companionate friendship with some sexual involvement and romance, but we were happy to keep it at a certain distance because we lived about two hours apart and only saw each other occasionally, keeping in contact via text and e-mail and phone. It was a way of keeping ourselves from dating anybody else (as neither of us wanted that, and we didn't have the best judgment at the time), and still being able to occasionally share a bed with somebody and have somebody to share your feelings and experiences with intimately.

So, in answer to your original question, no, it does not matter universally, but it depends on a lot of factors, and you have to make the decision for yourself. I recommend that you make that decision without the input of your boyfriend, because he has a stake in it, and he really can't give you sound advice on the subject. I hate to say it, but that's (almost) always true. Hope that helps.



Anybody else think it's funny that Lush doesn't recognize "companionate" as a word?
Johnnybscared
Posted: Sunday, August 12, 2012 9:32:59 PM

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Kinda but not really
_mal_
Posted: Sunday, August 12, 2012 9:46:40 PM

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I'd like that question to be more narrow. In which respects? Emotionally? In bed? Life experience? Ability to deal with life's ups and downs in a relationship? Ability to deal with the responsibility of a relationship? Ability to deal with one's own baggage? Ability to not let one's own personal issues and insecurities wreak havoc on the relationship? Or are we talking about more mundane things like: living together and each person able to deal with a common budget?

To give some semblance of an answer, I'd say that there is physical age and maturity age. Someone can be young and very mature. Others can be older and incredibly immature. Most of the time, low physical age means a low maturity age (immature).

The answer is: maybe. Depends on what parts of the relationship you are talking about. It also depends on who we are talking about.

I also do have to agree with CenterLine's answer. In someone's 20's the difference of a couple of years is great (modified by personal maturity). The 30's is a little less severe. The 40's even less so. By the time you hit 50, the maturity level between you and a 70-year-old is not much, given two relatively mature individuals.
Aletheia
Posted: Sunday, August 12, 2012 9:49:32 PM

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I always loved being with older men. I'd feel more valued and appreciated and the sex was usually better than with younger guys. The only thing that always seemed to get weird was when I would socialize with older men's friends and their wives. Their friends were always accepting of me and nice, but their friends' wives and girlfriends were sometimes less so--especially if I was "replacing" a friend of theirs.

If you can avoid taking that kind of thing too personally, you can have a great relationship. Good luck!
Guest
Posted: Sunday, August 12, 2012 11:04:16 PM

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As long as its over the age of consent....No it does not matter....love does not know any barrier..!
Sensei
Posted: Sunday, August 12, 2012 11:24:23 PM

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You know about the half-plus-seven rule? Take the age of the older partner, divide it by two and add 7 years, and if the younger partner is that age or older, then no one should be able to raise any serious objections.

Between that boundary and the age of consent is where you find diversity of opinion.

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Guest
Posted: Monday, August 13, 2012 5:43:11 AM

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Sensei wrote:
You know about the half-plus-seven rule? Take the age of the older partner, divide it by two and add 7 years, and if the younger partner is that age or older, then no one should be able to raise any serious objections.

Between that boundary and the age of consent is where you find diversity of opinion.


That would put me 12 years older than my ex who is 8 yrs older than me. Shall I now divide my age in half and add seven years?

Id
Jack_42
Posted: Monday, August 13, 2012 7:17:12 AM

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How can you have rules about this sort of thing and how would you go about deciding age compatibility? The subject is too personal a thing to be able to generalise - the chemistry is either there or it isn't. And just to reassure you younger guys out there it doesn't go away when you hit 60 I can't do it 10 times a day anymore but there are compensations I can still do it every day and last a lot longer.
ramrod32784
Posted: Tuesday, August 14, 2012 8:45:53 AM

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It is the people not the age that matters
Ravyn
Posted: Tuesday, August 14, 2012 11:31:13 AM

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Does age matter? This is a question that will bring up much discussion and even more disagreement among such a large community as this as well as society as a whole. Who is to say what is acceptable and what is not concerning age as long as both parties are over the age of consent. There is no scale that you can say that these two people are okay to be together as they are a few years apart and these two are not because there maybe 5, 10 or even 20 years difference.

If two people are compatible on many different levels then why should age matter? There are some 30 and 40 year olds that can act very immature and there are some 20 something year olds that are very mature. It should be based on qualities that attract two people together common likes, dislikes, similar interests sexually and non, being able to hold a conversation about anything. I believe its one’s mind and heart that matter. If you can say that the person you are interested in has all the qualities you look for and the other sees those in you, age should not even be a factor.


T_Elle
Posted: Tuesday, August 14, 2012 6:07:39 PM

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I also tended to chase older men when I was younger, for the same reasons as mentioned above - less drama, better sex, more confidence. That being said, what made my relationships work the most was common ground. My husband and I are 11 years apart. He just turned 48, I'm almost 37. The age difference raised a lot of eyebrows when I was 19 and he was 30, but we've been together ever since and have been married for 12 years. We were both raised in military families and both went on to join the military, ourselves.

I guess the experience is different for everybody. Does age matter? Yes, I think it does. But does it mean you can't have a long-term, meaningful relationship with equal partners? No, I don't think it matters like that. You have to use your head, while you're following your heart... easier said than done, eh? love3
Catnip
Posted: Wednesday, August 15, 2012 1:48:09 PM

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My Current man is 24 years older than me.. 3 years older than my mother.

There are some rather huge differences in how we perceive the world that I think is generation based.
I think differences makes for a more eventful relationship, and I like it when things are in motion.

Best thing with a man who's older.. he's got enough patience to handle my "complex" personality.

Guest
Posted: Thursday, August 16, 2012 5:59:48 AM

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Catnip, are you still with him?
Nikki703
Posted: Thursday, August 16, 2012 3:03:49 PM

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It only matters if you let it matter!!
AngelHeart01
Posted: Thursday, August 16, 2012 5:26:28 PM

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Age shouldn't matter (this goes for both sexes).


Although, depending how old you are can make a huge difference (when dealing with age difference).

What I mean is ... if I'm 25 and the guy/girl is 18, there could be a huge maturity issue. You change so much during certain ages (hopefully growing). Some people may not change along with you.
One of you my not accept the change.
Sometimes a person doesn't change at all, and that too, can be a problem.


BabydollSlave
Posted: Thursday, August 16, 2012 6:06:04 PM

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age shouldnt matter (in my opinion)
but i know i have seen the looks of people when they see the age difference in couples. for me i dont mind the difference between me and my hubby. i have seen the looks and it doesnt help that i look very young to boot. (I pass for my nieces' sister) and my hubby has a very unusual (evil/stern) natural appearance and hence looks older. Lucky for us he doesnt mind my immaturity and is very patient with me!


my newest :)
ElChupacabras
Posted: Thursday, August 16, 2012 6:38:23 PM

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Believe me, It doesn't matter I tell you from my own experience. It's all upstairs.
WellMadeMale
Posted: Thursday, August 16, 2012 11:10:14 PM

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Age is just a number... lmao

Yeah, whatever. That's something I've heard since I was 26 or thereabouts.

The younger people say this when they want to boff a 40-50 year old...

The 40-50-60 year olds say it when they want to screw someone 20, 30 40 years younger.

Apply it to the act of marriage.

Age matters...kid yourself all you want. When you're 60 and you can't get a hard on without Cialis or your pussy won't get wet without Astroglide...

Answer truthfuly...

Does age matter?

If ya can't beat 'em... pay someone to do it for you.
Guest
Posted: Friday, August 17, 2012 9:49:48 AM

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people keep saying age doesn't matter but they also keep saying as long as u r 18 or older, what a paradox..
clearly age is being used as measured of maturity, level of maturity does matter but it's hard to measure. that's why we came up with age as relative measurement.
not perfect measure but close enough. hard to be objective when measuring urself
Icarus32
Posted: Wednesday, August 22, 2012 9:20:09 PM

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Honestly I think it is more of a situation by situation basis, one couple may be perfectly happy regardless of a 5,10,20+ year gap, whereas another may find it to be completely insurmountable.
PookieBooski
Posted: Friday, August 24, 2012 7:53:38 PM

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Being a kid that was used and abused by older men, being a teenager that got with older guys, and being a young adult with an older boyfriend, I have some experience. And honestly...this is a hard question. I'm in love with the "age doesn't matter, love is love" idea; I really am....but this is a tough question. You will find people with different responses. Honestly, I don't think age matters. I really don't. It depends on the maturity, motives, etc. of this person. It's hard for me to go in to detail...
Oh fuck it, I'm totally screwing this up!
LOVE IS LOVE.
I don't care if you're 22 with a 42 year old, 15 with a 20 year old, or an 18 with a 60 year old. If that's what makes you happy, go for it.
Guest
Posted: Sunday, September 09, 2012 10:28:46 PM

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At some point in the relationship it will matter if there is to great of an age difference.
Paysin
Posted: Monday, September 10, 2012 4:16:54 PM

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I don't believe age matters when the two people are truly and irrevocably in love with each other. Big age differences run in my family. It's not gross or horrid, it's just how fate decides to pair each other up(:
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