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Has anyone been in a polyamorous relationship? Options · View
frogprince
Posted: Wednesday, August 15, 2012 2:38:17 PM

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I have been watching this show on cable about polyamorous relationships. I am kind of curious about it and was wondering if anyone here has experienced it or knows of someone who is.
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, August 15, 2012 8:04:48 PM

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I don't know anyone. How's the show?
frogprince
Posted: Wednesday, August 15, 2012 11:49:38 PM

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The show is interesting, but at 30 minutes you do not get much. They jump around to 3 groups (I guess thats what you call them). It gets confusing. It is on Showtime.
Guest
Posted: Thursday, August 16, 2012 9:21:26 AM

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I've heard about it. I don't think the lifestyle would be for me but, if it works for them, so be it.
sprite
Posted: Thursday, August 16, 2012 9:27:41 AM

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i have been involved in semi-polyamourous relationships, not anything serious, though, more like having a gf/bf on the side while in a committed relationship. does that count?
ramrod32784
Posted: Thursday, August 16, 2012 9:31:30 AM

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The show is interesting though aside from the added sex they have as many headaches if not more than anybody else
Nikki703
Posted: Thursday, August 16, 2012 10:11:07 AM

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I am in a relationship with one person but we have sex with several other people on a semi-regular basis. Not sure if that counts.
Dani
Posted: Thursday, August 16, 2012 10:37:17 AM

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I'm in sort of an open relationship. My girlfriend is strictly a lesbian and I'm bisexual. I sleep with other men, but not often. And at her discretion. She has to know the full details beforehand. And I don't just go around hopping on every dick I see.



We're tiny. We're toony. We're all a little looney. And in this cartoony, we're invading your TV.

keoloke
Posted: Thursday, August 16, 2012 10:39:18 AM

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I have never been.

This may not truly answer the post but I do know a few persons who live in such a relationship. It wasn't chosen by all of them, but they decided to somehow experience it out of financial reasons.

Practice Happiness, it is a choice

Life is simple; we are what we eat and what we read. Talk is not much needed.
GamerGirl10
Posted: Thursday, August 16, 2012 10:44:10 AM

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I've been having a continuous conversation with someone via email and chat about the idea of being poly amorous. It's something I've been wrestling with myself for years, because I have always been in committed relationships, but seeking extra companionship outside too. The men who found out branded me with names like whore & slut, and I've adopted those titles just to brush them off. Until recently, I had never thought about polyamory as a true thing, and always figured I was "broken" in the way I feel about multiple men at one time.

This new someone has enlightened me as to his situation too. He is in a poly relationship with an older woman who isn't poly like him, but is willing to look away as long as he is discreet with the women he seeks more from. It's all very enlightening to me to hear first hand from someone who has found light and passion from being a poly person. He's encouraged me to research the idea, get comfortable with it, and eventually approach my significant other with my feelings. I'm still working on the last step, actually.

So yeah, I'm quite curious about the idea of being in a poly amorous relationship and whether or not it's a good thing. Like all things, especially pertaining to sexual enjoyment, I do tons of research before actually doing the deed, per say. I hope this helps your curiosity fix!
frogprince
Posted: Thursday, August 16, 2012 11:33:50 AM

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This came from the Polyamory Society website.
Polyamory is the nonpossessive, honest, responsible and ethical philosophy and practice of loving multiple people simultanously. Polyamory emphasizes consciously choosing how many partners one wishes to be involved with rather than accepting social norms which dictate loving only one person at a time. Polyamory is an umbrella term which integrates traditional mutipartner relationship terms with more evolved egalitarian terms. Polyamory embraces sexual equality and all sexual orientations towards an expanded circle of spousal intimacy and love. Polyamory is from the root words Poly meaning many and Amour meaning love hence "many loves" or Polyamory. Of course, love itself is a rather ambiguous term, but most polys seem to define it as a serious, intimate, romantic, or less stable, affectionate bond which a person has with another person or group of persons. This bond usually, though not necessarily always, involves sex. Sexualove or eromance are other words which have been coined to describe this kind of love. Other terms often used as synonyms for polyamory are responsible, ethical or intentional non-monogamy.
frogprince
Posted: Thursday, August 16, 2012 11:42:38 AM

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Wikipedia seems to have the best information about it. It (the infromation) is non-biased which I liked, The other sites are biased towards it. To me it is too braod a term trying to cover relationships out side the dual partner societal norms.
GamerGirl10
Posted: Thursday, August 16, 2012 12:18:10 PM

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I'm also looking into reading a book called, "The Ethical Slut," also recommended by my new polyamory friend. I did a quick search on that recently too (thank goodness for Wikipedia!) and found it might be a nice resource to have. Of course, I'm not sure I'll be going to my local library to find it, so I've gotta search for it elsewhere.

To me, polyamory is a reasoning that, even though I cannot be with certain men at this very moment, I still love & care for them all the same. From my lover in college that I no longer speak to, to the one I've just met who lives in AZ. There are men I love to chat with that seek no immediate sexual needs from me, but might in the future. And of course the one man I live with and love everyday, he takes precedence over any of my polyamorous lovers. I don't ever want to be called a slut by anyone again (unless it's in the sack...), and the random people labeling me "slut" or "whore" because I cannot seem to love just one person, truly don't understand what it means to love many, all at once, equally.
frogprince
Posted: Friday, August 17, 2012 9:17:01 AM

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It sounds like you are there GamerGirl10. One reason I was wondering was that this is how some people lived in the late 1960's. That was during the 'Free Love' era. Some are married couples who have a third person. Some are just a group of people who llove each other. So it seems to me to be a loosely defined relationship. I guess it is between consenting adults who are happy to be with one person but want to share and be shared with other people they love.
Dickie
Posted: Friday, August 17, 2012 9:55:33 AM

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GamerGirl10 wrote:
I'm also looking into reading a book called, "The Ethical Slut," also recommended by my new polyamory friend. I did a quick search on that recently too (thank goodness for Wikipedia!) and found it might be a nice resource to have. Of course, I'm not sure I'll be going to my local library to find it, so I've gotta search for it elsewhere.



I read "The Ethical Slut" last summer when my significant other and I were experiencing an open relationship due to long distance and it is definitely an excellent read! I recommend it to anyone looking into polyamorous relationships, or even for those who are curious. It touches on so many subjects and offers tools for all member of the relationship. Well worth the read!
frogprince
Posted: Saturday, August 18, 2012 3:36:34 AM

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Got an electronic copy of the book. Will be reading it on my commutes.
kinkydevil94
Posted: Saturday, August 18, 2012 6:32:34 AM

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i was with my ex. we had a mutual understanding that it's ok to sleep with anyone we wanted. i had a few fuck buddies on the side for when she wasn't around or up for sex. even managed to have a three way foreplay. never got to any actual sex :( but i'm not complaining.
Guest
Posted: Saturday, August 18, 2012 9:31:34 AM

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I've watched the show Sister Wives. I have to wonder if that would be a better way to live sometimes.
frogprince
Posted: Saturday, August 18, 2012 12:03:52 PM

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When I was in the Navy, I lived in a huge apartment with 6 other people. We shared everything (I mean everything). It was mixed guys and girls. What a time and so long ago.
TreeSuh
Posted: Saturday, August 18, 2012 1:52:10 PM

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I couldnt be one of many wifes/girlfriends im to jealous but many boyfriends or husbands could be an idea lol
MrNudiePants
Posted: Saturday, August 18, 2012 1:59:39 PM

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I've been amorous with something made out of polymers before... does that count?



MrNudiePants
Posted: Saturday, August 18, 2012 2:01:14 PM

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Seriously, though... for an interesting (fictional) depiction of a polyamorous "line marriage", look up a novel from 1966 by Robert Heinlein, called "The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress."

frogprince
Posted: Saturday, August 18, 2012 3:27:38 PM

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Very good book. I remember reading it when it first came out on the market. Love the play on words. Excellent just what I needed some levity for my day.
CenterLine
Posted: Thursday, August 23, 2012 1:26:47 AM

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I've never been outright poly or "open", but I've seen it done. I've seen it go great, and I've seen it go awful. It has to be something that everybody's really into, is all. And they have to stay into it. Communication is key, even more than in other romantic relationships. I've posted on this in other sections, and I'm sure you'll find a lot of info if you search the forums for terms like "polyamory", "poly" or "open relationship".
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