Okay I'm in a very difficult situation...I'm recently divorced and this girl is recently broken up with we have known each other for a couple years, and even messed around n college, but never had sex. Now we are talking again and both of us are interested in BDSM and want to try it out, but don't know how it will work this there is mutual feelings for each other. Please help I'm a dom n she wants to be a sub any advice will help

As difficult situations go, that doesn't sound like it's half bad. You both are free, you both have feelings for each other, and you both want to try something new. No problem!

Step 1 is open communication. BDSM in and of itself is not terribly specific. Talk with her about the sorts of fantasies you have and she has. Where there's overlap is where you should begin. Use the tag search here to find stories that contain the elements you both agree on. Use them for inspiration (don't try to act them out word for word - use them to see if those sorts of things spark a fire in you both).

If you find there's a specific kink that you both want to explore, but that you've had no experience with, then do some google searching first. The Internet is full of all sorts of helpful advice on damn near everything.

I'll throw two freebies out to start with: The kind of handcuffs that the cops use are not the kind of handcuffs you want to use for bondage. Don't use them. You want wide, leather cuffs. They don't tighten on their own, they spread their force over a wide area, they're flexible and pliable and don't (in and of themselves) need a key to open them.

Speaking of keys, that's number 2: Latches, not locks. It is sufficient that your sub not be able to easily free themselves without help. Locks and keys don't make that significantly more effective in many cases. But they do make embarrassing or perhaps dangerous situations possible if the key gets misplaced.

---

My novel, The Society, is available now in the Kindle Store: http://www.amazon.com/The-Society-ebook/dp/B00BPF9U2I

quick thing on restraints, leather cuffs are much more comfortable as sprite says. If you want to use straight up steel cuffs they can be a lot of fun, just be a little careful with them as they have the ability to chaff and leave welts or even cuts on the skin if your doing something which is likely to cause the wearer to move their wrists about a lot while they are secured. Not trying to scare you, just trying to make sure you can have safe fun!

In terms of keys, having a backup set is a good idea, most of the padlocks that come with stuff i've bought in the past have had a number of spare keys or some kind of self release mechanism on the restraint, but its always sensible to make sure you have a way to let the other person out before you restrain them in the first place!

Have fun together hope it all goes well!