Welcome Guest Search | Active Topics | Members | Log In | Register

Help!!! Options · View
Tckerb
Posted: Thursday, September 06, 2012 7:09:18 AM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 4/26/2012
Posts: 3
Location: United States
Okay I'm in a very difficult situation...I'm recently divorced and this girl is recently broken up with we have known each other for a couple years, and even messed around n college, but never had sex. Now we are talking again and both of us are interested in BDSM and want to try it out, but don't know how it will work this there is mutual feelings for each other. Please help I'm a dom n she wants to be a sub any advice will help
perkynipples
Posted: Thursday, September 06, 2012 8:15:53 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 12/13/2011
Posts: 360
Location: Pittsburgh, United States
Go to the forums and read the post on BDSM start with the BDSM 101 gives you lots of info of where to begin. Good luck.

Bunker Love
My Dream my latest stopry
Sensei
Posted: Thursday, September 06, 2012 8:41:41 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 5/16/2012
Posts: 467
Location: United States
As difficult situations go, that doesn't sound like it's half bad. You both are free, you both have feelings for each other, and you both want to try something new. No problem!

Step 1 is open communication. BDSM in and of itself is not terribly specific. Talk with her about the sorts of fantasies you have and she has. Where there's overlap is where you should begin. Use the tag search here to find stories that contain the elements you both agree on. Use them for inspiration (don't try to act them out word for word - use them to see if those sorts of things spark a fire in you both).

If you find there's a specific kink that you both want to explore, but that you've had no experience with, then do some google searching first. The Internet is full of all sorts of helpful advice on damn near everything.

I'll throw two freebies out to start with: The kind of handcuffs that the cops use are not the kind of handcuffs you want to use for bondage. Don't use them. You want wide, leather cuffs. They don't tighten on their own, they spread their force over a wide area, they're flexible and pliable and don't (in and of themselves) need a key to open them.

Speaking of keys, that's number 2: Latches, not locks. It is sufficient that your sub not be able to easily free themselves without help. Locks and keys don't make that significantly more effective in many cases. But they do make embarrassing or perhaps dangerous situations possible if the key gets misplaced.


My novel, The Society, is available now in the Kindle Store: http://www.amazon.com/The-Society-ebook/dp/B00BPF9U2I
sprite
Posted: Thursday, September 06, 2012 9:16:42 AM

Rank: Her Royal Spriteness

Joined: 6/18/2010
Posts: 13,547
Location: My Tower, United States
Sensei wrote:


Speaking of keys, that's number 2: Latches, not locks. It is sufficient that your sub not be able to easily free themselves without help. Locks and keys don't make that significantly more effective in many cases. But they do make embarrassing or perhaps dangerous situations possible if the key gets misplaced.


we actually had duplicates made. all our keys are color coded. there's a dab of paint on each lock/locking device of a different color, and the key to it has the same color dab. all the keys are on a ring, together, and 3 such rings exist, two at home, one being the back up in case the first gets lost, and one is being kept by a neighbor, in case of emergency, we can call her - she is aware of our kink, so it's not something we need to worry about.

oh, and yeah, cop cuffs are fun, but leather cuffs are way better for long sessions - much for comfortable, and i like the feel of them better...

as for resources, as Sensei said, read the BDSM 101 thread here, it's full of good information from many POVs. also, read through the BDSM stories here for an idea of what turns you in - in fact, can i suggest you have her read thru them and see which ones you both 'mesh' on as a way to start talking about what you want? communication is KEY to BDSM - communication and trust - if you develop both of those, the rest of the stuff will be easy AND fun for both of you.

best of luck and please, feel free to ask questions, be it today, or weeks down the line, and let us know how things go! :)
Jim65357
Posted: Friday, September 14, 2012 5:52:26 PM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 9/14/2012
Posts: 4
Location: ask!, United Kingdom
quick thing on restraints, leather cuffs are much more comfortable as sprite says. If you want to use straight up steel cuffs they can be a lot of fun, just be a little careful with them as they have the ability to chaff and leave welts or even cuts on the skin if your doing something which is likely to cause the wearer to move their wrists about a lot while they are secured. Not trying to scare you, just trying to make sure you can have safe fun!

In terms of keys, having a backup set is a good idea, most of the padlocks that come with stuff i've bought in the past have had a number of spare keys or some kind of self release mechanism on the restraint, but its always sensible to make sure you have a way to let the other person out before you restrain them in the first place!

Have fun together hope it all goes well!

Users browsing this topic
Guest 


Forum Jump
You cannot post new topics in this forum.
You cannot reply to topics in this forum.
You cannot delete your posts in this forum.
You cannot edit your posts in this forum.
You cannot create polls in this forum.
You cannot vote in polls in this forum.

Main Forum RSS : RSS

Powered by Yet Another Forum.net version 1.9.1.6 (NET v4.0) - 11/14/2007
Copyright © 2003-2006 Yet Another Forum.net. All rights reserved.