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How to make him last longer and increase my crazy sex drive?? Options · View
snowmynx
Posted: Wednesday, June 20, 2012 1:06:51 PM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 9/12/2011
Posts: 4
Hi peeps. . . ive been with my fiance for around 4 years and we are getting married in october, and at first our sex life was amazing. It was every night every way imaginable, but then i fell pregnant. After having our baby, who is now 16 months old, my sex drive seems to have disappeared completely, except for when my other half goes out. When im indoors alone, i become extrmely horny, and masterbation has become a daily routine for me, but as soon as h2b comes home, it disappears. Any avice on this??

Also, since we no longer have sex regularly, it has become a struggle for him to last more than a few minutes, and we both end up disappointed. even if we do it a few days in a row or multiple times a day, it doesnt make it any better. . . any help and advice would be much appreciated people. :)
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, July 10, 2012 6:20:40 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,748
Hi hunni i have some very similar experiences to you I think that once we get that "settled in" feeling in a relationship the fun of sex and bedroom antics is something that soon becomes mundane. My daughter is 5 and since I had her my sex drive went down to virtually nothing. we do it maybe twice a month if we are lucky now and like yourself I often feel my most horny when he is away on the night shift!!! I recently bought my first dildo and I find that is really helping.
It sounds strange but get on here and cyber with some guys - I did and I am so glad cos it's such a turn on. U stand little to no chance of ever meeting these guys and u can act out your wildest fantasies with them. I had zero libido before I came to Lush and now I think about sex all the time.

I hope this helps a little. I will add u as a friend and I am happy to chat whenever u like hunni xx
1ball
Posted: Wednesday, July 11, 2012 4:08:26 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/13/2011
Posts: 970
Location: United States
If you really love him and plan on going through with the marriage, you really want to find a way to get your head back into the game. I recommend initiating sex with him often, even when you aren't in the mood. His body has a natural frequency for orgasm for optimum performance. If he's in his twenties, this might be once per day. By the time he's fifty, it might drop to once every three days. If his body starts to operate at his optimum frequency, his orgasms will slow to maximize his enjoyment rather than rushing to maximize his reproductiveness. There's nothing his mind can do to change this, so if he won't masturbate at that frequency (which might not help you get over your low libido anyway), you might have to get him there somehow and if you're not horny, you can still get him off. That's half the battle.

When you start the frequent initiating, tell him that you aren't horny but that you want to be. Tell him what he can do to get you closer before penetration. Don't make it ridiculous like swinging naked from the chandelier. If you're going to stay with him, you have to make him not 100% responsible for turning you on. Watch videos, read stories, etc... Maybe do some of that together, but understand that there is nothing he can do to fix your dysfunction without your cooperation. Your brain is a sex organ that is 90% self-stimulating. It needs to pull it's weight. Take ownership of all of your share of the problem. Counseling might be required. If so, go alone at first to try to fix your low libido first. The good news is that your libido should increase until you reach 35-40.

Eventually, he will initiate more often and you will read each other's cues better. Hope this helps.

My latest story is too hot to publish. My most recent story before that is Even Stranger In Lust
Jackwanker
Posted: Sunday, September 23, 2012 6:23:16 AM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 2/10/2012
Posts: 3
Location: 1/2 way between Nashville & Memphis, United States
What do I need to do. Wife want have sex with me and when she does I don't last long at all because my dick gets stimulated so quickly and it feels so good. I would love to last longer than 10 minutes. We have had sex a total of 5 times this year and we used to have sex at last twice a month until about 5 years ago. I have always been a quick one, but usually get her off by other means. Can only remember once feeling her orgasm around my penis. I don't know what to do and yes my penis is small before you ask, 5 inches hard. :( :(
1ball
Posted: Sunday, September 23, 2012 10:58:08 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/13/2011
Posts: 970
Location: United States
Jackwanker wrote:
What do I need to do. Wife want have sex with me and when she does I don't last long at all because my dick gets stimulated so quickly and it feels so good. I would love to last longer than 10 minutes. We have had sex a total of 5 times this year and we used to have sex at last twice a month until about 5 years ago. I have always been a quick one, but usually get her off by other means. Can only remember once feeling her orgasm around my penis. I don't know what to do and yes my penis is small before you ask, 5 inches hard. :( :(


There's a big difference between want or won't and due to the grammar seeming more like you meant won't, please clarify that.

Premature ejaculation seems like one problem here. The other might be that most women simply don't come from vaginal penetration. Clitoral stimulation is required for orgasms for most women and they simply don't get enough from vaginal intercourse. So get in there and lick pussy or use fingers or toys on her clit, under her guidance, and get her off before you penetrate her. She might then have secondary orgasms while you get off, but if not, she will at least be emotionally closer to you and more willing to have sex more often. If that doesn't work, then her libido might just be low or she might just be living with you out of habit or circumstance rather than sexual desire.



My latest story is too hot to publish. My most recent story before that is Even Stranger In Lust
ranjith73
Posted: Thursday, October 18, 2012 4:21:33 AM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 10/18/2012
Posts: 1
I appreciate you for this question.. And this is not a big issue to solve. You might give him to some generic viagra before doing sex. Then your dream will possible as soon as. . I like this forum..
overmykneenow
Posted: Thursday, October 18, 2012 5:54:56 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/8/2010
Posts: 1,020
Location: United Kingdom
Has the wedding happened?

Warning: The opinions above are those of an anonymous individual on the internet. They are opinions, unless they're facts. They may be ill-informed, out of touch with reality or just plain stupid. They may contain traces of irony. If reading these opinions causes you to be become outraged or you start displaying the symptoms of outrage, stop reading them immediately. If symptoms persist, consult a psychiatrist.

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svmv
Posted: Monday, November 26, 2012 6:26:50 PM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 8/11/2012
Posts: 1
Location: United States
We ran into the same issue. Sex was maybe once a month, maybe twice here and there. From the male perspective the biggest thing was learning to learn to hold back. When you feel like your getting to your breaking point back off and slow down for a breif moment and then get back into it. After a while of doing so you'll learn to have more self control. Worked here. We went from a couple minutes to her having multiple orgasms and me lasting over 40 minutes. A lot of it in my opinion is mental.
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