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Rank: Advanced Wordsmith
Joined: 2/1/2011
Posts: 86
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Several years ago my wife had her gallbladder removed. One of the sideeffects of having a gallbladder removed is excess gas. In my wife's gas, this is "should be registered as a chemical weapon" gas. She has also regaind some (but not all) of the weight she lost with gastric bypass surgery (the
gallblader is often removed with this type of surgery). We still have children at home, so divorce is not an option. I just want to get it on with a
normal sized (and good smelling) woman, what do I do?
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 5/17/2010
Posts: 374
Location: Las Vegas, United States
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Wow, you're a dick. Just divorce her if you don't care for her. Better to do that than put your entire family through shit and have them resent you later on in life.
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Rank: Cock Connoisseur
Joined: 4/25/2010
Posts: 1,642
Location: Bend, United States
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All I can say is........Wow and oh wait.......Shame on you. Not once did you say you did not love her just.......wow. I am going to stop there...
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Rank: Chat Moderator
Joined: 11/24/2011
Posts: 2,079
Location: Lounge usually, United Kingdom
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um .... for better for worse ... so because she has put on some weight and suffers from flatulence thats it is it?? oh dear ... I hope you never become unwell in your lifetime ... enough said I think.
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Rank: Advanced Wordsmith
Joined: 8/27/2012
Posts: 88
Location: StrangeLand, New Zealand
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Ha! She probably says the same thing about you - at least she has a reason O.o
Evil Brain Angel Heart - E.B.A.H
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Rank: Gingerbread Lover
Joined: 1/6/2012
Posts: 3,289
Location: Trumpton, United Kingdom
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Hasabrain2 wrote:Several years ago my wife had her gallbladder removed. One of the sideeffects of having a gallbladder removed is excess gas. In my wife's gas, this is "should be registered as a chemical weapon" gas. She has also regaind some (but not all) of the weight she lost with gastric bypass surgery (the
gallblader is often removed with this type of surgery). We still have children at home, so divorce is not an option. I just want to get it on with a
normal sized (and good smelling) woman, what do I do?
What you have written is cruel and selfish.
You couldn't really be that much of a nasty, uncaring person, could you?
What do you do? If this is really the whole story, be a man and kindly and gently talk about the issues that you have WITH HER. Maybe she isn't aware how much it affects you. Medical conditions are such a bastard that way.
Have you wondered why she might gave regained some of the weight? Why are you married to somebody that you obviously care so little about?
Grow a pair, sort your relationship out to either work at it together, or let her be free to live life without such a selfish-sounding git that posted this thread.
Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.
 ***  ********************************CLICK THE BANNERS TO BUY THESE WILLY-STIFFENING BOOKS!********************************
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Rank: Clever Gem
Joined: 7/17/2011
Posts: 1,990
Location: Exactly where I should be!, United Kingdom
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I have one tip that might help with this smell. Get your head out of your ass.
Now with audio!!!!
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 8/21/2009
Posts: 621
Location: Prague, Czech Republic
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Maybe you should reconsider the wording of your post. Perhaps you're trying to say you care about her and the kids but are no longer physically attracted. These things can happen perhaps some counselling may help?
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Rank: Advanced Wordsmith
Joined: 8/27/2012
Posts: 88
Location: StrangeLand, New Zealand
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Jack_42 wrote:Maybe you should reconsider the wording of your post. Perhaps you're trying to say you care about her and the kids but are no longer physically attracted. These things can happen perhaps some counselling may help? Nah, perhaps he's just a dickhead without a dick! #j.s
Evil Brain Angel Heart - E.B.A.H
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Rank: Active Ink Slinger
Joined: 8/16/2012
Posts: 13
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Well I think it is a good thing you put it the way you feel.... Makes very clear what kind of a person you are.... An ass.
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 8/21/2009
Posts: 621
Location: Prague, Czech Republic
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AnimalisticAlucard wrote:
Nah, perhaps he's just a dickhead without a dick! #j.s
[He may be a dick head but surely if he was the last thing you said he wouldn't have a problem.]
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Rank: Constant Gardener
Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 9,498
Location: Cakeland, United States
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 Be a sport and get one for her too. They're very stylish these days. Think of the children, also...while you're at it. They might be too young for you to introduce a fetish to them. But this little item is just what you need. Failing all the above, I'd pay up and play up. Don't worry about all these judgemental peeps. It's your pathetic sex life, not theirs!
 The best thing you can do for your fellow,
next to rousing his conscience, is - not to give him things
to think about, but to wake things up that are in him...
to make him think things for himself - George MacDonald
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Rank: Rookie Scribe
Joined: 8/29/2012
Posts: 1
Location: United Kingdom
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"For better for worse" seems to ring a bell, she needs your support not abuse!
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 7/19/2012
Posts: 410
Location: A Cave, United States
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You really seem awful, but I'm feeling oddly uncranky today, so I'll make a couple of suggestions.
Try to remember why you married her in the first place. Try to remember why you love her. If you didn't have a good reason, or you don't, or you can't remember, then divorce might be the best option; and if that's the case, you probably should point out to your wife when bringing it up that you're an enormous asshole for putting her through being married to you.
To be fair, we've all responded knowing that you're an asshole, and assuming she's completely lovely. Maybe she's got her own set of personality issues, but you're definitely a jerk. As a side-note, you sound like so much of a jerk, I kind of doubt anybody's going to want to bang you once you are separated from your wife.
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Rank: Lurker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Posts: 326,981
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 4/3/2010
Posts: 3,212
Location: California
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Hasabrain2 wrote:what do I do?
Just during "love" making.  Should do the trick.
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Rank: Lurker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Posts: 326,981
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Magical_felix wrote:Just during "love" making. Should do the trick. Or...even better...  Disclaimer: genuine product
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 4/3/2010
Posts: 3,212
Location: California
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LittleBambi wrote:Or...even better... Disclaimer: genuine product Jesus was DTF, this man is not though. 
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Rank: Advanced Wordsmith
Joined: 2/1/2011
Posts: 86
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Ok, let met set the record staight, I am not an ass. The way I set it, the selfish thing to do would a divorce. See that way the money I set aside for the kids' college fund would to child support, and I wouldn't be there to take the kids to school in the morning, or take the them the dentist or band practice, or school rehersal, etc. For the sake of the children I'm staying in the marraige. The selfish thing would be to leave.
Incidentally, I was there with my wife when her father and helped clean out her grandmother's apartment when her grandmother had to go into a nursing home. I als listen to her when she complains about "so and so" at work. Yet despite my support support groups etc,. she still hides sweets like an alcoholic hides booze.
Imagine your significant other 75 pounds overweight, often stinky with gas, and poor knees, and kids who need your daily love and attention, and look me in the eye and try to tell me I'm ass. I'm just human.
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 9/11/2012
Posts: 290
Location: United States
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I don't know of anyone who just goes out looking to have an affair, it just happens. Swingers are swingers, its what they do. If you live in neveda, go to a cathouse like most, but without her agreeing to this would be wrong. You need to have a talk with her and work this out.
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Rank: Advanced Wordsmith
Joined: 10/4/2012
Posts: 88
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Damn! You can plan a pretty pick nick but you can't predict the weather. If you're looking for an affair then just move on. Your kids will be better off without an asshole cheating on their mom. Sounds like you we're never in love but just in lust. It's better to be alone then miserable. Just leave her alone and go be miserable checking out the greener grass on the other side of the road.
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Rank: Moderator
Joined: 3/3/2009
Posts: 4,266
Location: Victoria, Australia
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Hasabrain2 wrote:Ok, let met set the record staight, I am not an ass. The way I set it, the selfish thing to do would a divorce. See that way the money I set aside for the kids' college fund would to child support, and I wouldn't be there to take the kids to school in the morning, or take the them the dentist or band practice, or school rehersal, etc. For the sake of the children I'm staying in the marraige. The selfish thing would be to leave.
Incidentally, I was there with my wife when her father and helped clean out her grandmother's apartment when her grandmother had to go into a nursing home. I als listen to her when she complains about "so and so" at work. Yet despite my support support groups etc,. she still hides sweets like an alcoholic hides booze.
Imagine your significant other 75 pounds overweight, often stinky with gas, and poor knees, and kids who need your daily love and attention, and look me in the eye and try to tell me I'm ass. I'm just human. The problem with this situation is that you're making a decision over your wife's future without consulting her. I understand that attraction is still a big part of marriage even after many years together, but it's better for both of you if you either focus on fixing your problems together or leave. Instead you're letting her remain in a relationship with a man who doesn't want her anymore, which makes it sound like you're merely tolerating her until you can make a break for it without feeling guilty over the kids. She may prefer the idea of divorce so she can be with a man who wants her, or she may prefer the idea of being on her own. If you both open up and talk about this honestly, you might find a solution to your problems. If you don't feel you can talk to her in that way, or you don't want to talk to her in that way, it doesn't sound like the kind of relationship your kids would benefit from being around anyway. They'd be better off with two parents who are happier apart, than two parents who are miserable together.
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Rank: Internet Philosopher
Joined: 8/14/2009
Posts: 1,991
Location: somewhere deep under the Earth, United States
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Till death or she gets fat do we part. Damn, I thought I sucked at relationships
βIt is a great thing to know your vices.β
β Marcus Tullius Cicero
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Rank: Detention Seeker
Joined: 8/17/2010
Posts: 723
Location: Over your Knee Screaming and Kicking!, United King
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Maybe she should divorce you, you obviously don't love her. you should learn to share your problems together you made a vow when you married!
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 9/16/2010
Posts: 122
Location: In the woods near my cabin, United States
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Ok. This might get deleted but hey its worth a try. First, its not about you. If your wife had the gastric bypass surgery and has foul gas (not that your guess smells like roses) then something is wrong. She may need to change her diet and she could add beano. Also it sounds as though she may need to add a probiotic to her diet. By the way, if it doesnt stink then something really bad is wrong. I worked in a hospital and came across some really bad smells. I have yet to vomit over gas. I think you need to look at your own self. Im sure you are not perfect....from your post I would say far from it.
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Rank: Brawling Berserker
Joined: 2/12/2012
Posts: 1,323
Location: Not on your radar, Norway
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I'm just gonna alienate everyone and make everyone hate me straight away. If what he tells about his wife acting the way she does, about the hiding chocolate like alcoholics hide booze, and all that stuff, no wonder the man isn't happy. For all we know she can be a total nagging bitch that goes to work and comes home and bitch about everything all day to him and then goes off to wallow in self pity with a big bag of M&M's. Yeah, OP does come off as a selfish bastard there's no doubt about that, if you disregard the part where he stays in the marriage simply because then they'll be able to put money into the kids college funds and get them a proper education. But one thing is for certain; having an affair is not a good option. If she finds out(and usually at some point they do) then you'll end up with an angry wife(and rightfully so) and the kids get to see mum and dad argue like they're ready to declare war at each other. Being a divorce kid I know from personal experience that just the arguments even if it doesn't end up with a divorce and the knowledge that "Daddy is a cheater" you suddenly lose your kid's respect. In the same way there's a chance the kids feel they'll be forced to pick sides, and that's even worse. So if your main concern is your kids, then don't have an affair. In the end it is them that will suffer. So having an affair is more selfish than the divorce. You need to either sort shit out with your wife or get a divorce. Both options are messy and hard. Should you pick the first one then you have to, maybe for the first time in your marriage, stand up to your wife and tell her to stop acting like she's doing and get her life sorted or else you're taking the kids and leaving. I think you both need help, and especially her, if there's ever to be any hope to save the marriage. On this one, I'm not siding with either part. I'm with the kids.
An entry for the humour competition! I has it!
Now you can read stuff that's like.. all funny and hillarious and amusing!Choking the Blue Snake!!
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 6/8/2010
Posts: 712
Location: United Kingdom
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Ok, my go. Do you really want an affair? Do you have any idea what that will entail and the pressures it will put on your marriage? Do you want an extra marital relationship or are you just after some no-strings sex from someone younger, more attractive and happy not to have more from the relationship. If you find someone willing to have an affair with you, you have to keep them happy; be it taking them out to dinner, buying them presents, the occasional weekend away (yeah you'll have to come up with a few excuses for that - as well as hiding your credit card bill). Invariably the cheaper and easier option for you is to become a regular client of a local prostitute - you keep it professional, you can see her when you want (within reason), she'll listen to you moan and whine about your awful life but she won't ask you're going to leave your wife or why you can't stay the night on her birthday. You get what you're looking for: someone you find attractive, a sympathetic ear and you get laid. Of course you have to pay for it but an affair usually turns out to be just as expensive if not more so. I would also think that if she found out, your wife would be less disappointed in you if she found out you'd been seeing a prostitute than if you'd been having an affair. If you were in the Uk I'd recommend finding someone via punternet - I'm sure there are escort girl review websites for your area. Your wife sounds like she's having a rough old time of late - it wouldn't be any surprise if she's developed some kind of minor eating disorder giving the stress of surgery and a failing marriage. You want her to get better, try and be a bit more sympathetic to her. Don't use the kids as an excuse for staying in the comfort of marriage, right now they're growing up seeing the relationship you have with your wife and thinking that is how a normal relationship is. The mistakes you make now will be repeated by them.
Warning: The opinions above are those of an anonymous individual on the internet. They are opinions, unless they're facts. They may be ill-informed, out of touch with reality or just plain stupid. They may contain traces of irony. If reading these opinions causes you to be become outraged or you start displaying the symptoms of outrage, stop reading them immediately. If symptoms persist, consult a psychiatrist. Why not read some stories instead
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Rank: Gingerbread Lover
Joined: 1/6/2012
Posts: 3,289
Location: Trumpton, United Kingdom
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I'll admit, I never had a real relationship, so I obviously have an idealised view of what it must be like, and no actual clue. I get that. But there are some parts of relationships that are the same, no matter what the name and details of that relationship.
But why can't people just communicate with each other? Why can't grown adults try to broach the problem with their partner, with a listening ear? There are two people in every relationship like this (discounting people outside the marriage/partnership who may be involved), and it is up to them to communicate their needs and desires, and and listen to the other's, surely?
Why are you looking to us for answers about what you should do? Talk to your wife and/or maybe a close friend or counsellor who knows you, and work out together what will be best not only for you two, but as Elit says, your children. And if she doesn't want to talk to you about what her issues are, you tried, and that should give you some clue as to what your next move should be.
Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.
*** ********************************CLICK THE BANNERS TO BUY THESE WILLY-STIFFENING BOOKS!********************************
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Rank: Brawling Berserker
Joined: 2/12/2012
Posts: 1,323
Location: Not on your radar, Norway
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Shylass wrote:I'll admit, I never had a real relationship, so I obviously have an idealised view of what it must be like, and no actual clue. I get that. But there are some parts of relationships that are the same, no matter what the name and details of that relationship.
But why can't people just communicate with each other? Why can't grown adults try to broach the problem with their partner, with a listening ear? There are two people in every relationship like this (discounting people outside the marriage/partnership who may be involved), and it is up to them to communicate their needs and desires, and and listen to the other's, surely?
Why are you looking to us for answers about what you should do? Talk to your wife and/or maybe a close friend or counsellor who knows you, and work out together what will be best not only for you two, but as Elit says, your children. And if she doesn't want to talk to you about what her issues are, you tried, and that should give you some clue as to what your next move should be. This is the important part. If you have an affair and shit hits the fan then if you have any kind of decency in you(and I think you do, since you actually seem concerened about your kids, but hey, maybe I'm just naive here) then a broken marriage due to your affair will cause you to sit down and regret it, because it affected you AND your wife in a bad way. Same way that the affair, like overmykneenow, will cost you a lot of money. If you try and talk to her and she pretty much gives you the finger and starts being defensive and hostile towards you with no intention what so ever of trying to change her way, then you start thinking if her being like that is a good place for you to be in. It's a pragmatist view and many will brand me as an asshole for saying so, but you're only one man and there's only so much you can do. If the misery is so big then maybe divorce is the only option that you have. As of yet you haven't really done anything wrong. You've thought about maybe having an affair or sex outside the marriage, but you haven't done it yet! These people telling you that you should burn in hell and that you're a low life is something you should disregard. But ultimately you should make a decision based on what is both short term and long term the best for your children. They are your number 1 priority.
An entry for the humour competition! I has it!
Now you can read stuff that's like.. all funny and hillarious and amusing!Choking the Blue Snake!!
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Rank: Lurker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Posts: 326,981
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elitfromnorth wrote: Being a divorce kid I know from personal experience that just the arguments even if it doesn't end up with a divorce and the knowledge that "Daddy is a cheater" you suddenly lose your kid's respect. This is the point here. Yes, studies show that kids are happier in a home with both their parents (provided there is nothing major ie. violence) regardless of whether their parents are crazily in love or not....but common sense shows that if you get caught your kids will never forgive you (because, even if they're too young to understand now, one day they will). As with elitfromnorth I speak with experience here. A few years on I don't so much as have contact with the guy. It doesn't make you a horrible person as many seem to beliee...the situation is quite humorous to a childish mind like mine (role reversal...normally it's us females complaining about our partner's wind issues), but the reality is that you're unhappy in your relationship and you are only human as mentioned. If I was you I would be looking at the following options: 1) Talk to her about it, try work it out 2) Suck it up and deal 3) Leave the relationship on as amicable terms as is possible
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