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uphere
Posted: Sunday, October 14, 2012 7:16:03 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 7/12/2012
Posts: 2,817
Location: United States
she walked by my window when i was masturbating here on Lush
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, October 16, 2012 7:54:10 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 531,823
He was cleaning a window here as I walked by it.
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, October 16, 2012 6:31:16 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 531,823
Before we met, we had both smoked some really good weed and got the munchies, so decided to leave our respective couches, to which we were in danger of being welded and go and get some from the shop. Whilst filling our respective trollies with all manner of munchies, we bashed into each other because we were too busy salivating over the last huge pizza in the shop. So stoned we were, that we really wanted the pizza, so one of us bought it and we shared it and lived happily munchieless ever after, until the next time we got the munchies, that is and had another chance meeting at the supermarket.
musicluver
Posted: Tuesday, October 16, 2012 8:21:27 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/14/2012
Posts: 522
Location: somewhere boring, United States
After Bunny stole my stash you offered to share with me so we sat drank smoked and made fun of random things.
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, October 23, 2012 8:03:53 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 531,823
I ran into you on one of my own munchie-seeking adventures. We looked into each others eyes and knew instantly there was no doubt that we were both heavily drugged. So drugged in fact, that neither of us could speak. Trying to be friendly, I held up a chocolate bar to see if you would like to share. You nodded your expressionless face but couldn't quite focus on my face. We started eating the chocolate, one for you, one for me, one for you, one for me, and so on and so forth.... Just then we were not so pleasantly surprised by the store manager, who dragged us into the Manager's office, where 2 police officer's were waiting for us. We were to be charged with shoplifting.

As there was NO evidence that we had stolen ANYTHING, we were allowed to go. I invited you back to my place and then I phoned Gurly to come and have a little party with us. He brought more chocolate and we all smoked ourselves into oblivion and all 3 of us woke in the morning lying on the living room floor. After a few hours Mr Music, you were able to gather your 6'10" body together and attempt to walk home. I'm not sure if you got there because I've never heard from you again. Andrew and I just got more stoneder.
elitfromnorth
Posted: Tuesday, October 23, 2012 11:40:26 AM

Rank: Brawling Berserker

Joined: 2/12/2012
Posts: 1,616
Location: Burrowed, Norway
I used to ride with the Golden Horde of Gengish Khan. I remember I had been hit after a minor skirmish on the Russian plains with Polish Hussars. With an arrow in my chest I rode along the plains until I fell off my horse. Poor thing was injured as well. I dunno how long I was there, but this hot thing found me. I was passed out when she took me back to her cabin and healed me up there. It was several days with fever and delerium before I managed to get out of bed. I'll be forever greatful to her for that.

"It's at that point you realise Lady Luck is actually a hooker, and you're fresh out of cash."
Guest
Posted: Monday, October 29, 2012 4:55:47 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 531,823
I think you are still delerious Elit, it wasn't like that at all...........

I was out riding my horse in the grounds of my plantation in the 1800's. (yes we are very old)(maybe we are dead but anyhow) I was riding my horsey at full gallop when I suddenly saw what looked like a blonde head poke up over the tumbleweeds. I was riding so fast it was too late to stop my horsey so I had no alternative but to jump right over your head. Little did I know you were lying down facing me and your 6'7 body was trailing behind you.

Unfortunately my horsey landed on your feet, breaking both of them. I hurried back to see 2 feet lying at very odd angles. I picked you up and threw you over the back of my horse, (yes I did, I was an extremely strong girl) you were hanging over the back of my horse, head and feet dangling either side. I jumped up on my horsey (no I wasn't willing to walk all the way back to the homestead just for you) and landed flat on your back which broke 2 of your ribs because as I said earlier in this story, I was very strong, but also veeeeeery heavy.

Anyhow.... 2 broken feet and 2 broken ribs later, I finally arrived at the homestead where a couple of the stable hands unloaded you off the horse and tended to your wounds. That, my dear is the reason you are still delerious.

What were you doing laying amongst the tumbleweeds on my property anyway? You deserved what you got really.
elitfromnorth
Posted: Monday, October 29, 2012 7:52:43 AM

Rank: Brawling Berserker

Joined: 2/12/2012
Posts: 1,616
Location: Burrowed, Norway
Your dreams are really interesting trinket. Whatever drugs you're on I'll have two, unless you're still as fat as the day we met. Then I think one will be enoughevil4

We actually met just a couple of years ago(maybe all the dope you're smoking is making you think you're rich and really old). I was on duty with the 330 squadron back home when we got a call that a couple of hikers had fallen down on a shelf like a pair of dumbass sheep. Despite there being a storm we knew that time was of the essence because being the dumbass foreigners they probably hadn't dressed well. So we got into the chopper and I flew out to the mountain where they were stuck.

The winds was making it a nightmare to keep the chopper steady, but with my skills I managed to keep it steady enough to lower the man down and bring the other two guys up. You presented to be a bigger problem. High as a kite you thought the chopper was a dragon and you refused to be eaten like your two friends so my colleague had to force the harness on you and bring you up. Safely down on the ground you ran around like a mental woman and had to be restrained in the ambulance.

The rescue is still being talked about and I hear discovery is gonna make a documentary about it. I'm sure they'll keep your name out of it clown

"It's at that point you realise Lady Luck is actually a hooker, and you're fresh out of cash."
Guest
Posted: Monday, October 29, 2012 7:55:25 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 531,823
NO NO NO, I think we both have it wrong, my excuse is that my drug addled brain just made a mistake. What is your excuse? That you dreamt that story inbetween flights from country to country?

We BOTH know how we met.

We had both registered on an 'erotic literature' site, just browsing around minding our own business. One day I got a PM in my inbox full of crap, rubbish, bullshit and more bullshit.) I would come to learn later that you are indeed, the King of Bullshit. You told me so yourself.

I read the first PM from you, a complete stranger and wondered WTF you were on about. I decided to play you at your own game, even though I had no idea who you were. I sent you a PM loaded with an equal amount of bullshit as you had sent me.

Thus ensued several PM's back and forth to/from eachother and all full of absolute bullshit. Like I said earlier, my excuse for speaking utter bullshit most of the time is because I smoke drugs, your excuse is that you are just....... full of BULLSHIT.

Regardless of all the bullshit, we became very good friends within a very very short space of time. Now we are great friends who cry on each others shoulders, pick each other up when we are down and generally tell each other what idiots we are for making the mistakes that brought us down in the first place.

You know very well THAT is the true story of how we met, and I'm so glad we did :)

EDITED TO ADD: I am NOT fat anymore. at all..... never will be again...
Jinxy
Posted: Monday, November 19, 2012 9:37:51 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/10/2012
Posts: 2,827
Location: †Jinxy Approved†, United States
She stole the man I was after..

†Jinxy Approved†

Guest
Posted: Friday, February 01, 2013 7:07:23 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 531,823
She showed up in her black lingerie with a broken wing. I took care of her till she could fly again.
Guest
Posted: Friday, February 01, 2013 7:25:13 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 531,823
Well....... One day I was out strolling through the woods carrying my picnic basket. The basket was carrying my lunch of ham and cheese sammiches. Dontcha just LOVE ham? Anyways.... out strolling with my picnic basket and I heard a sound in the bushes...... do you ever get the feeling you are being watched? or followed? I stopped, took a glance around... couldn't see anything so continued on my merry little way... I'm sure I could FEEL a pair of eyes burning the back of my head so I turned quickly! What did I see? A bloody lost penguin, tap dancing to the tune of "tiptoe through the tulips". No, I didn't offer him any of my sammiches.
Guest
Posted: Friday, February 01, 2013 7:28:46 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 531,823
I found the little lost girl strolling through ANTARCTICA! I took her arm gently and led her back home!
Guest
Posted: Friday, February 01, 2013 7:38:11 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 531,823
NO, that's not correct, you didn't even know where I lived..... maybe it was Antarctica, I did see a rather large penguin....... BUT I still swear you were tapdancing.
Guest
Posted: Friday, February 01, 2013 8:28:34 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 531,823
At the resort, I was your scuba instructorHugs
Guest
Posted: Monday, July 15, 2013 2:44:25 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 531,823
His lover bet 7 nights with him during a clandestine poker game in Sumatra and guess who won the game? Yep I did, I won him ! After the 1st night he was already mesmerized (well that's what having half siren blood does... ) and by the 7th day there were no longer existing cure to his addiction to me. Now it's strip poker game with him every other night and I am moooore than happy to lose...
Bayeck
Posted: Monday, July 15, 2013 3:57:34 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 6/14/2013
Posts: 68
Location: United States
we were sitting next each other at a sports game. then the "Kiss Cam" was put on us, so we ended up making out till the end of the game (and continued long after).
baileyass
Posted: Tuesday, July 16, 2013 9:00:46 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/24/2012
Posts: 2,935
He rolled his wheelchair over my toe and went all apologetic and asked me for coffee. The kind person I was fell into his trap and we talk for ages over that cuppa. So you well know one thing lead to another and that night we made so much noise the neighbours had to call the police and the ambulance thinking he was in some sort of emergency.
adele
Posted: Tuesday, July 16, 2013 9:51:00 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/8/2011
Posts: 20,668
Location: if I knew where I was then I would not be here...
I heard someone say Bailey and since that is my favorite drink, I turned and ran right into you. I said hi, and introduced myself. When you did the same, I just smiled, thinking of my favorite drink.............

There is no mark of self,
And no mark of others,
No mark of living beings,
And no mark of a life.


-- The Diamond Sutra
Guest
Posted: Sunday, July 28, 2013 1:57:27 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 531,823
I took one of her Pole Dancing class, her amazing legs hipnotized me, her eyed pierced my soul and look at those incredible breasts...
Guest
Posted: Friday, August 02, 2013 11:14:34 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 531,823
I took one of her Pole Dancing class, her amazing legs hipnotized me, her eyed pierced my soul and look at those incredible breasts...


I'm actually a hypnotherapist. Nathivan visited my office for some therapy to quit her pole dancing addiction. She only thinks she was hypnotised by Adele's amazing legs, it was really me that continued to convince her to keep her obsession with pole dancing because I own the dancing club. I taught her how to pole dance and now Nathivan is my biggest drawcard to the club.
Guest
Posted: Friday, August 02, 2013 12:02:08 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 531,823
Across the world's largest ocean. We exchanged notes in bottles carried by the currents and discovered a deep mutual affection for bottles!
SugarBaby2013
Posted: Saturday, August 03, 2013 4:23:20 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/1/2013
Posts: 2,707
Location: The Great Frozen North, United States
I was selling tamales on Venice beach and wasn't doing very well, till this dark stranger came by and gave me his secret recipe! Now he's a JERK!
So I have gone fishing for halibut on my yacht in Valdez.

Ardentmale
Posted: Saturday, August 03, 2013 12:18:24 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/22/2013
Posts: 4,551
Location: Jersey Shore, United States
We met in Valdez... I happen to be scuba diving while she was fishing.... She snagged me in the leg with her hook and pulled my up thinking she had the greatest catch of the day... Sorry to say she was disappointed with her catch... :(

characterized by intense feeling; passionate; fervent

Intensely devoted, eager, or enthusiastic; zealous

vehement; fierce burning, fiery, or hot
baileyass
Posted: Sunday, August 04, 2013 4:42:18 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/24/2012
Posts: 2,935
Met him at the clinic where I worked. He came in with a nasty cut from a fishing hook. Claims someone thought he was a merman but I think maybe the hook took some grey matter with it instead of skin. dontknow
Ardentmale
Posted: Sunday, August 04, 2013 9:54:41 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/22/2013
Posts: 4,551
Location: Jersey Shore, United States
I think it was at a clinic... I was a bit delirious from the exposure and blood loss... She was yanking and pulling on that hook in my leg... Of course I dont understand why she had to cut off my bathing suit when the hook was in my calf....

characterized by intense feeling; passionate; fervent

Intensely devoted, eager, or enthusiastic; zealous

vehement; fierce burning, fiery, or hot
Guest
Posted: Sunday, August 04, 2013 3:01:57 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 531,823
We were standing at the checkout counter at the supermarket and you were pulling your pants out of the crack of your ass. I asked you if you were going to the movies and you said NO asking me why. I said, "Cause I saw you picking your seat."
baileyass
Posted: Monday, August 05, 2013 3:13:05 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/24/2012
Posts: 2,935
I think it was at the toy shop. I saw a grown man talking to a stuffed tiger. If i wasn't mistaken you asked your stuff tiger if he wanted you to get him a stuffed tigress to hump while you're at work.
curious3045
Posted: Monday, August 05, 2013 8:54:34 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/9/2012
Posts: 8,417
Location: Midwest, United States
When I had my audition for Baywatch SE Asia.
baileyass
Posted: Monday, August 05, 2013 9:00:57 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/24/2012
Posts: 2,935
I remember that audition. He came in the tiniest swimming trunks possible. Since i had to stand in for the producer, i had to give him the lead role. Unfortunately, he is always late for shoots as he is forever surrounded by asian chicks. Grrrrrrrrrr
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