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How to get my husband to be more dominant? Options · View
Guest
Posted: Saturday, October 20, 2012 10:18:27 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,748
How do I get my husband to be more dominant in the bedroom? We have tried reading different web-sites and taking advice from the web sites, we've talked about it, he also has asked me for advice. I would like help from you all. I would like to know in what ways I could be of help to him? I would also know if there is anything I could do to make him feel more comfortable? Can you all help me please???
Magical_felix
Posted: Sunday, October 21, 2012 10:57:05 AM

Rank: Wild at Heart

Joined: 4/3/2010
Posts: 4,905
Location: California
There is no cure for being a pussy. I think it's one of those nature vs nurture things or some shit. His brain is already wired.

There is no cure, I'm sorry, but you can try a couple things..

Start being more of a bitch. Boss his ass around more. Do the shit you want to do. Disagree with him a lot. Eventually he'll want to angry fuck you.

If that doesn't work, slap him in the face really hard next time you're fucking. I promise the next stroke will be harder.



Guest
Posted: Sunday, October 21, 2012 12:37:28 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,748
have tired for years .... I have learned there is NO way in the world..
doctorlove
Posted: Sunday, October 21, 2012 2:18:54 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/11/2012
Posts: 562
Location: United States
Have you asked to be fucked hard, to be tied up and spanked? One more thing is while having sex tell him how much you love his cock, his hard cock, shit like that
doctorlove
Posted: Sunday, October 21, 2012 2:20:09 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/11/2012
Posts: 562
Location: United States
I can't wait for my next session. My wife better hold on!
Guest
Posted: Sunday, October 21, 2012 2:46:07 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,748
doctorlove wrote:
Have you asked to be fucked hard, to be tied up and spanked? One more thing is while having sex tell him how much you love his cock, his hard cock, shit like that


I will, thank you for the advice. I appreciate it a lot.
sprite
Posted: Sunday, October 21, 2012 2:50:54 PM

Rank: Her Royal Spriteness

Joined: 6/18/2010
Posts: 14,537
Location: My Tower, United States
Magical_felix wrote:
There is no cure for being a pussy. I think it's one of those nature vs nurture things or some shit. His brain is already wired.

There is no cure, I'm sorry, but you can try a couple things..

Start being more of a bitch. Boss his ass around more. Do the shit you want to do. Disagree with him a lot. Eventually he'll want to angry fuck you.

If that doesn't work, slap him in the face really hard next time you're fucking. I promise the next stroke will be harder.


actually, if you read through this carefully, there's a lot of truth here. some people are naturally dominant, some naturally submissive, and most fall somewhere in between. a lot of people feel uncomfortable taking a dominant role - they might do it to appease you, but it's going to feel forced and awkward and probably neither of you will enjoy it. my advice, try baby steps - don't go for like leather and whips the first time, see how he feels about something playful, like a spanking, or some really soft core bondage, like a blind fold and scarves. if he's just not feeling it, and you REALLY need it AND you have an open marriage, look to finding a Master, otherwise, live with it.

http://www.lushstories.com/stories/hardcore/west-coast-games-part-one-the-beach.aspx
doctorlove
Posted: Sunday, October 21, 2012 5:07:00 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/11/2012
Posts: 562
Location: United States
whisper it to him and if that does not work get louder.
kylie_kained
Posted: Sunday, October 21, 2012 6:43:48 PM

Rank: Detention Seeker

Joined: 8/17/2010
Posts: 994
Location: Over your Knee Screaming and Kicking!, United King
It really depends on him, when I first got together with my wife I wanted her to be more dominant after many failed attempts I asked her why. She explained that she could never hurt me because she loved me. We talked about my need to be dominated before we agreed that I should see someone else for my need, of course my wife is also bi so we agreed to have an open relationship. I know it might not be the answer you expected but it has always worked for us.
















WellMadeMale
Posted: Sunday, October 21, 2012 7:07:05 PM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,289
Location: Cakeland, United States
You all are being trolled by what's his face...the guy who claimed he lived in Hawaii and was great friends with Rico, his bisexual room mate.

Bigguns?

Actually, it is difficult to tell... Bigguns is probably, actually Carolyn/Mark from 2009/2010.

Been around so long, it seems like up to me.

If ya can't beat 'em... pay someone to do it for you.
overmykneenow
Posted: Monday, October 22, 2012 4:50:09 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/8/2010
Posts: 1,020
Location: United Kingdom
@WMM really? I thought Bigguns was now thePlayer/Hotmama? Shows what I know

Warning: The opinions above are those of an anonymous individual on the internet. They are opinions, unless they're facts. They may be ill-informed, out of touch with reality or just plain stupid. They may contain traces of irony. If reading these opinions causes you to be become outraged or you start displaying the symptoms of outrage, stop reading them immediately. If symptoms persist, consult a psychiatrist.

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Guest
Posted: Tuesday, October 23, 2012 11:49:41 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,748
WellMadeMale wrote:
You all are being trolled by what's his face...the guy who claimed he lived in Hawaii and was great friends with Rico, his bisexual room mate.

Bigguns?

Actually, it is difficult to tell... Bigguns is probably, actually Carolyn/Mark from 2009/2010.

Been around so long, it seems like up to me.





Just to let YOU ALL know NONE of you are being TROLLED. MY HUSBAND and I are BOTH real people. IF YOU have any QUESTIONS message US. WellMadeMale, YOU NEED TO BACK THE FUCK OFF! I think you are the ONE trolling people.
WellMadeMale
Posted: Wednesday, October 24, 2012 11:53:57 AM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,289
Location: Cakeland, United States
To the OP, your, ahem...husband is never going to be as dominant as you apparently are. evil4

That all capital letter thing you have going -- is priceless, incidentally.


The alternating/split personalities found on so many internet forum websites are truly, one of the more interesting phenomena, I've found.
(if you're a fan of observing human behavior, I mean.)
This internet watching thing can never match that of actual in-field experience with the human menagerie.

*I could be wrong, OMKN with my guess of personalities...I have been in the past (and fooled here myself more times than I care to admit) all over the internutz.

If ya can't beat 'em... pay someone to do it for you.
Peter242
Posted: Wednesday, October 24, 2012 3:44:32 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 3/4/2008
Posts: 55
Ask him to spank you and hand him a hairbrush. If he refuses then suggest you spank him. I bet he spanks you staright after that.
Shylass
Posted: Wednesday, October 24, 2012 5:28:01 PM

Rank: Gingerbread Lover

Joined: 1/6/2012
Posts: 3,595
Location: Trumpton, United Kingdom
Alright, people. This is forum that any member can post on. Therefore, expect a variety of replies. They won't all be helpful, necessarily. But that is the risk we take.

If you feel you are being targeted, use the "Contact Us" button and report the person.

But I will lock this thread down if people cannot keep their replies civil. Abusive behaviour will not be tolerated. Consider yourselves warned.


Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.

***
********************************CLICK THE BANNERS TO BUY THESE WILLY-STIFFENING BOOKS!********************************
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, October 24, 2012 5:56:51 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,748
I think you need to ascertain why he doesn't seem to want to be more dominant. I'm a fan of the talking approach.

Is he afraid of hurting you? Does he think he might go too far? These are both valid questions. Perhaps he should consider taking some self assertiveness classes.

Is he gentle by nature? Exactly how do you want him to be more dominant? Spanking? Taking control? Being more vocal about his desires?

My best advice is to talk to the man and find out if he has anxieties about being dominant and work them out together. It may require that one or both of you make a compromise, but if you're both happy and find a balance, it'll work out.
Poppet
Posted: Wednesday, October 24, 2012 6:15:02 PM

Rank: Sweetest Cricket

Joined: 10/5/2012
Posts: 5,251
Location: You Inspire Me, United States
I think Magical_felix is pretty dead on but not entirely.



I was with a man for nearly five years and tried to encourage him to be more dominant. It use to drive me mad how sensitive and slow and shit he was. I'd talk dirty to him, beg him, even demand him to fuck me harder. To give me what I deserve. We talked about it nonstop through the years but he never really did anything. He was a wuss. {Not saying your husband is.}



I thought maybe this was all men. When I got into my next relationship he told me he was a bit submissive, and didn't have a lot of experience with sex of any kind under his belt. We would cyber, phone sex all of it. I was more then Dom at first but when we met and started having sex in person he quickly took the role of the Dom and I easily gave into being his submissive. It was a big change, shocking as it was. But it was fricken incredible. I think with him all he needed was a little practice and time. But he was open to the idea of it all.


I really think it's all in what they truly want sexually. A lot of people think they know but truly don't. Some people aren't sure at all. Some people don't have an open mind to new things.


elitfromnorth
Posted: Wednesday, October 24, 2012 6:19:13 PM

Rank: Brawling Berserker

Joined: 2/12/2012
Posts: 1,619
Location: Burrowed, Norway
Unless he can't do it on his own, even just a little, then it's difficult if not impossible. Like it's been stated; you can't train a pussy to be a boss. It's in you from day one. Maybe you've bossed him around too much in your every day life and now it's coming back to haunt you in the bedroom. It's personality, not something you can train.

"It's at that point you realise Lady Luck is actually a hooker, and you're fresh out of cash."
Warlock
Posted: Wednesday, October 24, 2012 7:09:52 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/24/2012
Posts: 199
Location: Where I need to be right now, United States
Being dominant is something that comes naturally.. you can't train it like seals.. here's a test.. next Friday night.. after a hard day at work.. serve him cold meatloaf and wax beans for dinner.. give him a 12 pack of warm beer.. slam his hand in a door.. and tell him you fucked his brother.. if he doesn't get dominant after that. put a ribbon in his hair and call him Polly..
Dudealicious
Posted: Wednesday, October 24, 2012 8:51:04 PM

Rank: Wise Ass

Joined: 11/12/2010
Posts: 5,413
Location: The center of the universe, Canada
Warlock wrote:
Being dominant is something that comes naturally.. you can't train it like seals.. here's a test.. next Friday night.. after a hard day at work.. serve him cold meatloaf and wax beans for dinner.. give him a 12 pack of warm beer.. slam his hand in a door.. and tell him you fucked his brother.. if he doesn't get dominant after that. put a ribbon in his hair and call him Polly..


Huh?

The night that changed my life, a four part series of a married man lusting after his co-worker

Buz
Posted: Wednesday, October 24, 2012 9:01:03 PM

Rank: The Linebacker

Joined: 3/2/2011
Posts: 5,789
Location: Atlanta, United States
Hell he's not going to be dominant. Just go ahead and bring some well hung guys home and make him watch you getting ravished.

I bet WellMadeMale and Magical'Felix are available if you offer them cold beer. You might even get Dudealicious to come over if you have a sports car.


FelineFantasy
Posted: Thursday, October 25, 2012 12:03:44 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/14/2011
Posts: 387
You can't change a zebras stripes sweetie, and that's okay. But it seems like he's actually wanting and willing to work with you, so that is a good sign. Talk dirty to him and let his inhibitions take over. Tell him you want it rough, you want him to take charge and have complete control over your body. Sometimes tapping into the S&M spiel of things will work.

Click > here < to read my first feature story, Techno Aphrodite by Piquet!
seeker4
Posted: Thursday, October 25, 2012 10:13:18 AM

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Posts: 3,448
Location: Gone walkabout, Canada
Dudealicious wrote:


Huh?


"Huh?" here as well. That sounds like it's not a recipe for making him dominant in bed. That's a recipe for making him kick you out (or move out himself).

I'm wrestling with my relative lack of sexual dominance (not BDSM dominance necessarily, but taking charge and asking for what I desire) myself and, to be honest, it is a function of personality. I'm not that strong or dominant in other areas as well. I have to push myself at work a lot to take charge and it isn't always a comfortable feeling so I'm unlikely to push that way in bed where I'm supposed to be enjoying myself.

No real advice beyond try to broach it with him in a way that makes both of you comfortable. if he know you're comfortable with it and that he doesn't need to feel uncomfortable being a bit dominant and even rough with you in the sack, then maybe he'll be able to relax and enjoy being the big man in charge a bit.


Its been a while but I finally got a new story out. Enjoy!

Satisfaction in the Park
Warlock
Posted: Thursday, October 25, 2012 9:25:50 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/24/2012
Posts: 199
Location: Where I need to be right now, United States
Dudealicious wrote:


Huh?


It was a facetious response fellas.. try to keep up..
Green_Man
Posted: Saturday, October 27, 2012 9:14:26 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/9/2012
Posts: 1,008
Location: A verdant glen, United States
The more submissive you act the more dominant he will feel. Try that.

ONLY WINNER OF THE OMNIUM AWARD ON ALL THREE SITES: LUSHSTORIES.COM, STORIESSPACE.COM, AND HISTORIASLUSH.COM
Guest
Posted: Sunday, October 28, 2012 5:23:49 PM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,748
slap him hard
funwife
Posted: Monday, October 29, 2012 3:11:59 PM

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Joined: 10/6/2012
Posts: 3
I have the same problem. I know how you feel. He is just not into it
Budlee
Posted: Thursday, November 01, 2012 4:17:05 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 7/24/2012
Posts: 1,295
Location: Central NJ, United States
People are who they are but that is not to say one can't learn or be taught how to be a Dominant or a submissive if the tendencies are there already. That is the key: there has to be a tendency to be D or s or even switch so that it can be expanded. The D/s aspect of the lifestyle is not for all people, or for all couples. If one partner wants to explore and the other doesn't that will often spell trouble if there can be no meeting of the minds to venture down the path in that way. Some people will remain a frustrated spouse who doesn't get the chance to explore and may seek out the porn on the internet. The frustration may likely manifest itself in some other aspect or his/her relationship or in other ways. Some people will step out on their spouses to find what they desperately seek. The secret can be kept for many, many years but ultimately it is discovered. And still others will decide to leave their relationship after deciding that ending the relationship will bring more fulfillment for both people in the long run.

So in answer to the question how to get him to be more dominant: you must communicate your needs and desires as step 1. Only you can determine step 2.
She
Posted: Thursday, November 01, 2012 6:01:58 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/24/2010
Posts: 2,159
Location: Europe
Being dominant or submissive in the bedroom is part of personality, you cannot make someone to be more dominant if he is submissive and all he wants is to suck your toes. You just didn't chose right for yourself.
Guest
Posted: Thursday, November 15, 2012 11:30:38 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,748
if he is not dominamt then you dominate him
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