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do married women use denial of sex as a weapon..to either punish or get what..they want? Options · View
blazestcyr
Posted: Tuesday, October 23, 2012 7:16:08 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/19/2011
Posts: 737
Location: where bugs die
having been approached a lot both on facebook and here by married men...

there seems to be a common thread...

my wife does not want sex anymore...

I ususally ask them the same question...do you do chores..all say yes

do you take care of the kids...all say yes

do you cook..oh yes every meal

do you sit on the coach on sunday watching every game imaginable...while she needs to talk to you...oh no....

do they have everything they want all say yes....

but i have to ask..is this a lie..or is it women?

me i cannot believe everyone of u pick up all your clothes, cook every meal, carpool, watch only lifetime for women

put up with inlaws and keep yourself model ready....

BUT if that is true

are we ladies withholding WHAT they need in order to get what we WANT?

was married to a man who withheld sex for the house wasn't as perfect as he wanted it to be

so...do u use sex..as a weapon?

me i love it but i wonder...can men also compartmentalize emotional feelings vs...sexual....

not a slam on guys here...or women...just wondering if all the come's on i have gotten from married men..are true
SweetPenny
Posted: Tuesday, October 23, 2012 7:31:54 AM

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Location: State of Confusion
I think these guys are cheaters and trying to make themselves feel less guilty about it by blaming their wives. That being said, it is not uncommon for a woman to lose her sex drive while she is raising kids. Pregnancy can do it (it can also have the opposite effect!). Breastfeeding can do it. Being exhausted can do it.
blazestcyr
Posted: Tuesday, October 23, 2012 7:37:27 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/19/2011
Posts: 737
Location: where bugs die
i so agree ..they validate the reason for cheating

and yes when u have small kids and are run ragged i agree with that too..

thank you sweet penny!
TheDevilsWeakness
Posted: Tuesday, October 23, 2012 7:52:44 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 7/19/2011
Posts: 1,300
Location: I'm the girl that your father hoped he could date.
Expectations are different for both men and women.
A woman says, "Honey, can you clean the bathroom while I clean the kitchen?"
A man will clean the sink, the toilet and the shower and forget the mirror, the floor and clean around the multiple faceclothes, shampoo bottles and leave the residue from their razors around the sink.
As far as he's concerned, he's cleaned the bathroom.
As far as she's concerned, he's done a shit job and she has to go clean it up herself.
Neither of them communicated what the other expected.
It's no one's fault, that's just the way men and women are.

Now I'm not picking on men here. It could very well be the woman that did a shitty job of cleaning the kitchen and the man made the bathroom gleaming and spotless. (I'd love to meet this guy, by the way, just so I could stare at him in awe)
But what I'm saying if they're too busy discussing their problems with you, then they aren't discussing them with their partners.
There's a lack of communication on one side or the other.

I could never nail my ex down to discuss money issues. He was always too busy doing something else. Finally it got to a point that I was so frustrated and pissed off at him for dodging me I could barely look at him without breaking into the "glare".
You know that "glare"? It's the one that says to anyone else looking at both of us that I'm about to explode if he used the wrong coffee cup or threw recycling into the garbage can.
And he wanted to talk about sex.
Sorry, but no fkn way. Not until we hammer out a budget. It's more important (to me) keeping a roof over my head than keeping him happy in the sack.

I like sex just as much as the next person but take care of your responsibilities first. Then I'll dress up in that sexy nurse costume and check your pulse. drunken

blazestcyr
Posted: Tuesday, October 23, 2012 9:26:59 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/19/2011
Posts: 737
Location: where bugs die
devil i love what u wrote...i truly do

i think when we are dating it is all good behavior

but whatever sex u are having cut it by half...and that is marriage after a few years..so it if is NOT to your liking at dating..well

i mean if i have to pick up your damn underwear for 27 yearss for it is an HONOR to see your skid marks....

u will LOOK like your skid marks to me

i confess i am a shitty cleaner..absolutely....

but i truly believe... saying you know why i dont want to have sex with you...IT is because i just dont u LIKE u anymore..for u do xyz and it drives ME crazy..(though u did devil u really did...i applaud u for that!)

this struggle will continue

sad... as i have said in previous posts i believe that SEX is part of marriage and if you are worried enough about your money to have a prenuptial..why not a SEXNUPTIAL>>>>???

again LOVED love what u wrote devil..so honest...thank you!
Frank
Posted: Tuesday, October 23, 2012 2:14:47 PM

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Joined: 11/16/2011
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________________________________________________________________

Experience is not what happens to you; it's what you do with what happens to you.
Aldous Huxley

Naughtygrl73
Posted: Tuesday, October 23, 2012 10:01:23 PM

Rank: Story Verifier

Joined: 5/21/2011
Posts: 1,418
Location: The Naughty Mansion, Australia
I can honestly say that if I'm not loving you then there will be no lovin.

Its not that Im withholding sex as a weapon to get what I want or to get back at him for a particular reason,
its just that if we have had an arguement or for some reason he has pissed me off that day, then Im just not in the mood to please.


I love sex; the feelings, the emotions the bond that we share, but if Im angry I just dont feel it at all. My body doesn't respond and I
know that all I'm going to feel after its finished is resentment.
So I would rather go to bed, let a night settle the anger and start afresh the next day.

If my hearts not in it then I'm just going through the motions and who wants to have sex with someone whos not enjoying the moment ?

Guest
Posted: Tuesday, October 23, 2012 10:26:44 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 535,080
guy's, if your girl is not initiating sex, throw her on the bed, and fuck the daylights out of her!

if she genuinely does not want sex (and you are both healthy) find yourself another girl
overmykneenow
Posted: Wednesday, October 24, 2012 1:40:47 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/8/2010
Posts: 1,021
Location: United Kingdom
hotswimmer wrote:
guy's, if your girl is not initiating sex, throw her on the bed, and fuck the daylights out of her!

if she genuinely does not want sex (and you are both healthy) find yourself another girl


That would be spousal rape and you'd hopefully get your arse hauled off to jail


Warning: The opinions above are those of an anonymous individual on the internet. They are opinions, unless they're facts. They may be ill-informed, out of touch with reality or just plain stupid. They may contain traces of irony. If reading these opinions causes you to be become outraged or you start displaying the symptoms of outrage, stop reading them immediately. If symptoms persist, consult a psychiatrist.

Why not read some stories instead

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Mazza
Posted: Wednesday, October 24, 2012 2:10:52 AM

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Joined: 9/20/2012
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Location: Scotland, United Kingdom
overmykneenow wrote:


That would be spousal rape and you'd hopefully get your arse hauled off to jail


Very well said!! I certainly would not condone that approach either...

I think that both sexes use the tools [sic] at their disposal to get what they want, whether that is withholding sex, affection, attention, money, time... whatever.

I know how horrid it is to be in a relationship where the other half withholds sex and affection... It's not nice...

It just so happens that sex is a powerful 'weapon' and it doesn't matter if the couple are married or just in a relationship, it happens.

If only we were better at communicating our feelings and needs with each other, but I think that this has probably been an issue since the dawn of time...
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, October 24, 2012 3:38:07 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 535,080
Married women do use sex as a weapon. And while some guys don't clean well or communicate properly, from my experience, you could say the same of some women. So, it isn't across the board. What is weird is that it never was an issue until the "i do's" were said. I think its a power trip. A control thing and has nothing todo with who cleans what and well a job they do. Power and control and the bounty is her pussy.
HappyEndings
Posted: Wednesday, October 24, 2012 3:51:55 AM

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Posts: 720
Location: United States
Whether or not it's true or fair to the woman, this is usually the way men see it... LOL



Great minds think alike but dirty minds work together.... ;)
TheDevilsWeakness
Posted: Wednesday, October 24, 2012 9:10:53 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 7/19/2011
Posts: 1,300
Location: I'm the girl that your father hoped he could date.
Naughtygrl73 wrote:
I can honestly say that if I'm not loving you then there will be no lovin.

Its not that Im withholding sex as a weapon to get what I want or to get back at him for a particular reason,
its just that if we have had an arguement or for some reason he has pissed me off that day, then Im just not in the mood to please.


I love sex; the feelings, the emotions the bond that we share, but if Im angry I just dont feel it at all. My body doesn't respond and I
know that all I'm going to feel after its finished is resentment.
So I would rather go to bed, let a night settle the anger and start afresh the next day.


Exactly.

Naughtygrl73 wrote:
If my hearts not in it then I'm just going through the motions and who wants to have sex with someone whos not enjoying the moment ?


Apparently... The men that say we use sex as a weapon instead of finding out what the root of the problem is.

Dudealicious
Posted: Wednesday, October 24, 2012 9:18:29 AM

Rank: Wise Ass

Joined: 11/12/2010
Posts: 5,413
Location: The center of the universe, Canada
TheDevilsWeakness wrote:


Apparently... The men that say we use sex as a weapon instead of finding out what the root of the problem is.


Sorry erm what did you say again, I was too busy staring at your tits. confused1

The night that changed my life, a four part series of a married man lusting after his co-worker

crazydiamond
Posted: Wednesday, October 24, 2012 9:47:31 AM

Rank: Clever Gem

Joined: 7/17/2011
Posts: 2,286
Location: Exactly where I should be!, Canada
Her weapons!!!! Watch out for her weapons!



Dirty_D
Posted: Wednesday, October 24, 2012 10:40:14 AM

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Location: Soaking up the sun, United States
overmykneenow wrote:


That would be spousal rape and you'd hopefully get your arse hauled off to jail


rarely ends up with a partner in jail but it is a good way to divorce!

CurlyGirly
Posted: Wednesday, October 24, 2012 11:55:26 AM

Rank: CurlyFries

Joined: 10/5/2012
Posts: 1,776
Location: United States
It wasn't to punish, but I definitely withheld sex when I "lost that lovin feelin." When everything you do seems to be wrong from your job to how you keep the house to which utensil you use to frost a cake or are told "you're not very funny" (and I know I'm funny, because my mom told me so) to "if you listened to me, you could be a better person." BUT, you want to have sex with me?? Yeah, sorry not so much.



It won a potato. Aren't you intrigued?



Guest
Posted: Wednesday, October 24, 2012 1:00:14 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 535,080
People talk to their bar tender. Many ladies have told me how they cut their mates off to get what they want or to punish them! I just smile and keep serving drinks. So yes they do.
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, October 24, 2012 1:19:05 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 535,080
Yes. But so do I. She wants it as much as I do. We shouldn't do that, but when your mad you do stupid things. So we punish each other and get no sex. The one good thing is make-up sex after we both cum to our senses.
bassguitarbubba
Posted: Wednesday, October 24, 2012 2:32:49 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/30/2008
Posts: 405
Location: So. California, United States
If the men on here cook all the meals, pick up all the clothes, do all the dishes, watch Lifetime for Women, etc..... I know what the women want. Maybe they're saving themselves for A REAL MAN! Not to sound chauvenistic, but any man who does ALL those things described in your opening post is a gay man. Yes, a woman likes help around the house. But if a man does it all, then the woman will no longer respect their man. He becomes nothing more than a roommate who must pull his share of the chores. I expect my woman to be womanlike. I don't expect her to help me change the oil in the car. And if she took it upon herself to do it, I would look at her differently. Even to the point of being sexually turned off. Maybe women aren't denying sex as punishment. Maybe they're denying it because they want their man back. Of course, this whole argument goes out the window if you were originally attracted to the oil changing woman or the Lifetime watching man.
Frank
Posted: Wednesday, October 24, 2012 2:39:51 PM

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Joined: 11/16/2011
Posts: 9,276
Location: Pleasure dome, United Kingdom
Never stay pissed off for longer than 24 hrs! Big Hugs

________________________________________________________________

Experience is not what happens to you; it's what you do with what happens to you.
Aldous Huxley

Frank
Posted: Wednesday, October 24, 2012 2:42:31 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/16/2011
Posts: 9,276
Location: Pleasure dome, United Kingdom


Real men can look after themselves as well as their loved ones!



________________________________________________________________

Experience is not what happens to you; it's what you do with what happens to you.
Aldous Huxley

HappyEndings
Posted: Thursday, October 25, 2012 1:13:55 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 12/7/2011
Posts: 720
Location: United States
In many parts of the world a man has a wife AND a mistress and denial of sex by the wife is a moot point and getting rid of a mistress is as easy as changing socks.

I think the whole idea of having only one sex partner is a cause of a LOT of friction between men and women and the idea of only one wife, husband, BF or GF is just asking for trouble and grief.

Just one man's opinion and I suspect I should get prepared for INCOMING because this whole topic is likely to earn me the ire of many an American woman!!! LOL

Great minds think alike but dirty minds work together.... ;)
elitfromnorth
Posted: Thursday, October 25, 2012 12:28:28 PM

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Joined: 2/12/2012
Posts: 1,620
Location: Burrowed, Norway
bassguitarbubba wrote:
If the men on here cook all the meals, pick up all the clothes, do all the dishes, watch Lifetime for Women, etc..... I know what the women want. Maybe they're saving themselves for A REAL MAN! Not to sound chauvenistic, but any man who does ALL those things described in your opening post is a gay man. Yes, a woman likes help around the house. But if a man does it all, then the woman will no longer respect their man. He becomes nothing more than a roommate who must pull his share of the chores. I expect my woman to be womanlike. I don't expect her to help me change the oil in the car. And if she took it upon herself to do it, I would look at her differently. Even to the point of being sexually turned off. Maybe women aren't denying sex as punishment. Maybe they're denying it because they want their man back. Of course, this whole argument goes out the window if you were originally attracted to the oil changing woman or the Lifetime watching man.


Now if you'll just step over here I can show you the road that leads away from the 1930's and into the 21st century icon_smile

As for the question in general; I guess that's very much based on the individual level, isn't it? Call me naïve, but there are two things that strike me.
1) Isn't it so that if a woman isn't comfortable, relaxed and happy(i.e. there's something bothering her) then she's pretty much unable to be turned on unless she has one of those spots that when you kiss it turns her mind into mush and she forgets everything? I know that for a certain degree it goes for us guys as well. The trouble of a flawed erection isn't because the girl is ugly, but many other things.

2) Why use anything as a weapon to get your way? Isn't a relationship about give and take? Is it really so that you should force your will on your partner, and if so, is it right to do so? Again, call me naïve if you want because I haven't been married and have never lived with my girlfriend, so do enlighten me if I have an idealistic view of a relationship that will get shot to pieces once I enter that world. dontknow

"It's at that point you realise Lady Luck is actually a hooker, and you're fresh out of cash."
SexyGamerexy
Posted: Thursday, October 25, 2012 4:22:13 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 7/4/2011
Posts: 18
Location: United Kingdom
elitfromnorth wrote:


Now if you'll just step over here I can show you the road that leads away from the 1930's and into the 21st century icon_smile

As for the question in general; I guess that's very much based on the individual level, isn't it? Call me naïve, but there are two things that strike me.
1) Isn't it so that if a woman isn't comfortable, relaxed and happy(i.e. there's something bothering her) then she's pretty much unable to be turned on unless she has one of those spots that when you kiss it turns her mind into mush and she forgets everything? I know that for a certain degree it goes for us guys as well. The trouble of a flawed erection isn't because the girl is ugly, but many other things.

2) Why use anything as a weapon to get your way? Isn't a relationship about give and take? Is it really so that you should force your will on your partner, and if so, is it right to do so? Again, call me naïve if you want because I haven't been married and have never lived with my girlfriend, so do enlighten me if I have an idealistic view of a relationship that will get shot to pieces once I enter that world. dontknow


In a naive way of thinking, it's mainly thought that men either want food..or sex. You can't deny them food...there's a fridge that's perfectly stocked with food for them to cook, or go to the nearest fast food and place. So there needs to be some other way of denying them something...the other thing they mainly want.i.e. sex.

I'm not condoning it and saying that it's right and they should do it, but would you rather there was a full scale row. Tears. Tantrums. Or they just refused sex. It's not so much about denying it, more that they're so pissed off that they're incapable to get turned and have sex. Men usually give in to what women want by the time women have the chance to calm down enough to want sex again.

There's also the idea from TV shows. In so many TV programs it shows the woman refusing sex to get her way, the men give. Both male and women conform to this social role and do what they think is expected of them without even realising that they are conforming.

Never said it was fair or right. But it does happen.dontknow
Frank
Posted: Saturday, October 27, 2012 10:24:53 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/16/2011
Posts: 9,276
Location: Pleasure dome, United Kingdom
naughtynurse wrote:


rarely ends up with a partner in jail but it is a good way to divorce!


May well be asked to pick up the soap!



________________________________________________________________

Experience is not what happens to you; it's what you do with what happens to you.
Aldous Huxley

Frank
Posted: Saturday, October 27, 2012 10:40:41 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/16/2011
Posts: 9,276
Location: Pleasure dome, United Kingdom
Naughtygrl73 wrote:
I can honestly say that if I'm not loving you then there will be no lovin.

Its not that Im withholding sex as a weapon to get what I want or to get back at him for a particular reason,
its just that if we have had an arguement or for some reason he has pissed me off that day, then Im just not in the mood to please.

I love sex; the feelings, the emotions the bond that we share, but if Im angry I just dont feel it at all. My body doesn't respond and I
know that all I'm going to feel after its finished is resentment.
So I would rather go to bed, let a night settle the anger and start afresh the next day.

If my hearts not in it then I'm just going through the motions and who wants to have sex with someone whos not enjoying the moment ?

thumbright

Mazza wrote:
If only we were better at communicating our feelings and needs with each other, but I think that this has probably been an issue since the dawn of time...

Hugs

elitfromnorth wrote:
2) Why use anything as a weapon to get your way? Isn't a relationship about give and take? Is it really so that you should force your will on your partner, and if so, is it right to do so?

Applause
SexyGamerexy wrote:
In a naive way of thinking, it's mainly thought that men either want food..or sex. You can't deny them food...there's a fridge that's perfectly stocked with food for them to cook, or go to the nearest fast food and place. So there needs to be some other way of denying them something...the other thing they mainly want.i.e. sex.

jerkit There's always the five sisters!

HappyEndings wrote:
Just one man's opinion and I suspect I should get prepared for INCOMING because this whole topic is likely to earn me the ire of many an American woman!!! LOL

violent3 Just American?

________________________________________________________________

Experience is not what happens to you; it's what you do with what happens to you.
Aldous Huxley

HappyEndings
Posted: Sunday, October 28, 2012 3:54:44 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 12/7/2011
Posts: 720
Location: United States
Frank wrote:

violent3 Just American?


Being an American who has never traveled out of the country except to Canada, I must admit to having somewhat limited experience with women from other countries. However I have seen a fair amount of European women here in sunny Florida on vacation and had the opportunity to interact with several and although I don't ever remember asking any of them if women in their culture witheld sex to gain advantage in marital bargaining, I can say that all in all they seemed much less hung up on the subject of sex and they seemed to be more likely to have a sexual encounter without the plying of copious amounts of alcohol. LOL

Nothing against our American women... They're some of the most wonderful in the world but their puritanical values and seeming belief that their pussy is something to be used as a bargaining tool rather than a pleasure center can get a bit old at times. ;)

Now that I've put my other size 11 1/2 in my mouth and probably insured that almost NO American women on Lush will ever speak to me again, I guess I'll go to my hunting lease and crawl in my tree stand and sleep... ALONE!!! Embarassed

Sometimes I wish I'd just keep my thoughts to myself but it's just not in my nature. dontknow





Great minds think alike but dirty minds work together.... ;)
MarySweets
Posted: Sunday, October 28, 2012 4:27:17 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/5/2012
Posts: 292
Location: In my fantastic mind, Australia
For me it depends on my mood, I might feel in the right frame of mind to have sex and tell the other half I'm ready for it.

He will get excited and then something comes up and then my mood swings to nah don't feel like any more.

Or I might feel like anal sex, however when it comes to the deed my anus is tender and feels pain to easily and I can't stand it. Which makes Mr Sweets get confused why I'm hot and then I'm cold when it comes to sex.

As for the quote saying just take the chick fuck her on the bed and if she doesn't put out then dump her. Wow that is a jerky answer if I ever saw one and I agree that is spousal rape weither it's a boyfriend/partner or husband.

"Sexual pleasure in woman is a kind of magic spell; it demands complete abandon; if words or movements oppose the magic of caresses, the spell is broken."

Simone de Beauvoir
Frank
Posted: Monday, October 29, 2012 12:52:53 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/16/2011
Posts: 9,276
Location: Pleasure dome, United Kingdom
HappyEndings wrote:
Sometimes I wish I'd just keep my thoughts to myself but it's just not in my nature. dontknow


Honest and open. Brave soul! toast

________________________________________________________________

Experience is not what happens to you; it's what you do with what happens to you.
Aldous Huxley

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